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(brain leaking out ears from sheer incredible awesomeness of this)

What! You have never seen Blade Runner until now!
How is it possible? :)

Okay, to your story:
(BEWARE OF SPOILERS!!!!!!!! if you haven't read the story, yet)


At the beginning of chapter 6, Drazz’mik "fuck ups" were quite annoying. I didn't had an expression that he was now a she.

The final fight was cool, but I was qute disappointed that Drazz’mik parents killed the succubus but let the big fish swim away.
That Drazz’mik had to stay as a woman served him right, though I could imagine that his mother would turned mad, because her little boy was now a girl like "that's happens if you playing with demons" (what she unfortunately not did).

The most awesome part was the inner conflict between Alex-F and Alex-M.

Summary: The story was great, though the last chapter could be worked out a little more, and gives a glimpse of hope for an sequal.

Captain Ash

To GenericName: I take it you enjoyed the story, then ;-)

To CaptainAsh: It is possible to have not seen "Blade Runner" until now because I "never got around to seeing it". Then I remembered it, read about it somewhere, and found it in the movie rentals. Interesting movie; not the best action, or sci-fi, or characters, but decent enough to warrant a viewing.

Now...
concerning the "fuck ups". I was uncertain what you mean by that. If you mean "too many f-bombs", I can understand the complaint. I actually had several more in there in the first draft, but cut a few out. The principle of the matter was to show, through his crude language, that he had screwed up major (more of "bad boy" than a "dapper masher" type).

And, hm... You were unaware he was turned female? Peculiar... I will check the phrasing of his transformation from Chapter 5. I try to be clear about character actions, and event settings (unless being purposely vague), so I always like to know where the readers get confused.

Glad you enjoyed the final fight. Yep, Sella'kib got taken out. As for Ultormiglok, a compromise had to be reached. Tormivol is bad-ass, but having a villain who might actually be capable of beating him (a phyrric victory) forces the characters to put the guns away (metaphorically-speaking) and negotiate. Demons dealing with demons - Tormivol is as adept at that as he is with fighting.

Hm... I do not completely understand your comment about "his mother would be turned mad..." You mean upset that Drazz'mik is a girl? She was upset enough to skewer Sella'kib with a claw of heaven-fire. If you mean "upset with Drazz'mik, teaching him a lesson", she might be doing that. Drazz'mik is essentially stuck as a female until (s)he overcomes Ultormiglok. Something similar to "Chrono Trigger", where the only way Frog can return to his human guise is by slaying Magus.

Glad you enjoyed the inner conflict.

What does "Fazit" mean? ^^

And, sequel? Hmm... When I provide my After Thoughts, I will discuss such possibilities.

^^ Thank you for the incoming feedback!

Now I am going to watch "Alien" for the first time, which, coincidentally, is by the same director of "Blade Runner", Ridley Scott.

Let this be a lesson to you when writing stories.

Skip the cattleprods when you're chasing something that just burst out of the chest of a crew mate. Go straight for the flamethrowers and don't feel conservative about the trigger.

Never walk on grates, and always remember to stay together, one person looking up, the others watching forward, aft, and one coverting the sides if possible.

Heheh..Facerape. Alien is so..so wrong.

What the marines on Aliens needed was a couple of USAS 12's, that nice clip fed automatic shotgun. And those one hip-mounted mg's were wussy, they used the same ammo as the rifles. If they can hip mount those, they can hip-mount a 50 caliber Browning.

No, you can't hip-mount a fifty caliber weapon and fire it on full auto. The problem was that the 'smart' guns used thermal imaging to track their targets and guide the bullets in for a kill, whereas the xenomorph is at ambient temperature.

Their rifles tore the SHIT out of the aliens when they weren't being ambushed after turning in their clips. Of course, by then, there were only four Marines left. Poor intel kills more people than the enemy alone could ever accomplish.

I like the USAS-12 though, automatic shotgun with a drum clip is always nice for interior pest removal.

Re: Story - Incubusted
 

I know it's a horrible necro, but I just read this and thought it was fantastic. That is all.