The Process Forum - New schoolgirl TG sequence

Emphasin, thanks for sharing!

Good comic. Can I just say that your lettering and speech balloon layout is fantastic? Really, this has got to be the easiest to read amatuer comic I've seen in ages. The image dimensions are nicely sized, as well- not too big, not too small.

Your inking and coloring, too, are good- simple but well executed. The background/foreground detail contrast and the color transition to match the gender transition are especially well pulled off, and further add to making this comic easy on the eyes.

Panel layout is okay- you started out doing the simple but good thing again, but it seems like toward the end you got rushed and decided to just not bother with panel borders. It didn't do much damage, but still, don't do that- getting rushed, I mean. It can ruin otherwise great work. Still, I really like the big establishing first panel and the big final tableau panel.

Normally, I don't even bother mentioning anatomy; artists either take the time to learn it or they don't. Your anatomy isn't bad. But your comic is polished enough that an awkward pose- like the one in panel 3 on the first page- can be the most visually discordant thing about it. I don't know that you're not continuing to improve your anatomy, but so many artists with potential will get complacent about things like that, when they get to the stage you're at now, that I feel obligated to nudge you. Keep practicing, you've got potential.

The weakest part of the comic is the script, which isn't saying much because it's a strong comic. And transformation plots do not need to be complicated, allthough this one is about as simple as it gets. You still did a great job of setting up the scenario in the first panel, and you had a solid end gag. But the transformation sequence itself is kinda awkward.

In the 5th and 6th panels, did his clothes just disappear? Or are we just seeing his changed underwear underneath his clothes? I really can't tell; the clothes appear to disappear abruptly with no reaction from the character, and then seem to re-appear half-transformed on the next page. It didn't occur to me until after several read-throughs that they might just have become transparent for our convenience, and there's no visual cues for invisible clothes. If they disappeared, you need to show him with them on at the stage of transformation immediately before they do, give some sort of cue to them disappearing (a poof, 'empty space quotations', whatever- be creative), and then have the character react. If they just became transparent for the reader, you've got to indicate that they're still there somehow- a silhouette, dotted lines, something- again, be creative.

The character's transformee monologue came out awkward, and yeah, transformee self-narration is hard to do well. But you seemed to do candid dialogue fine in the first and last panels; it came off as very natural. If you do another transformation comic consider just going with grunts, moans, squeels, and expletives- and then go for broke on the process illustration. Alternately, a trick that's not used nearly enough is having another character present to play Captain Obvious. ("OMG! You're growing boobs! Now your butt's getting bigger! I think you're turning into a girl!") Or you can try having the character literally self-narrate: "I'd thought my morning was going bad when I overslept, but that pain in my crotch was the first sign things were going to get a lot worse. Then my shirt started getting tight."

So. Good comic. I liked it. Thanks for taking the time and effort to make it, and for posting it here.

MOAR.