this is a short series im woriking on
 

it's called henero island its about a girl who eats some thing simalar to the gum gum fruit(one pice)and gets laticaonal abilites(ala.milkmaid)and elasticty
(.elastigirl)it combines alot of things i like (be,rubber girls,lactitaion) andnothing i dont..(grotesque exteremes)does any one thinkthis would make a good comic

A young girl around 16 landed on a small island
because she fell off the side of the cruiser while playing she lies on the beach wandering
aimlessly, then a small pink fruit drops from a nearby tree the girl eats the fruit and walks
around the island until she finds a tree for shelter and falls asleep. A week later the girl finds out that her hair turned hot pink and she grew taller and her chest grew two sizes the girl was a bit shocked. but she was soon to be very hungry, the girl yawned and her arms and feet stretched 4 feet long, the girl was a bit scared, but soon realized these powers could benefit her she stretches to a nearby tree and takes some fruit and eats it the girl eats it then her chest starts to shake, and she starts to giggle then the girl walked around the island for a bit more then started to want some milk her tattered shirt started to become wet and produce milk. after this the girl was expecting this after all that happened she freely drank from her own chest and the milk was amazingly warm. Then she looked up and she saw it was going to be night

girl :I wonder how long I am going to be here.

Um... wow.

Holy shit. o_0

Is this serious? Is english your first language?

Around ten?
Dude, I can?t say that I apreciate this.
Also, what the fuck?

I want my 2 minutes back.

......WTF was that?
needs alot i mean ALOT of work

Now now, calm down.



LEARN THE RULES AND CONVENTIONS OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.

that is all that needs to be said.

Dear gawd people calm down. How hard is it to just change the ONE number from 14 to 18 and be done with it. Under age isn't a big deal in stories all that needs to be done is literally MAKE her eighteen. Since this doesn't focus on her being underage I think its not that bad.

This story although very rough, has a lot of potential. Obviously you are going to have to make her older but fourteen still probably not going to cut it for THIS forum. Try more like 16-18 and it would be fine. I see a lot of promise so keep working on it and update this when you have more of a story going.

Also yes I just noticed he edited it to say fourteen when it seems to have started out at ten. But still just calm down and be calm people. He just posted an IDEA for a comic or story. Not overtly graphic images of OBVIOUSLY underage kids.

People in this forum need to calm down a bit. I know trolls have been a problem. But maybe if we kept cool heads and didn't flame people when they make mistakes. Trolling wouldn't happen as much as it does. Anger only makes for more anger.

Ah well thats my two cents...

but it does need some work i mean i made some mistakes on my first story so sorry on my first post

No one said anything about the underage part.

No, wolfman did.

Personally, I was too distracted by the total absence of anything anyone would call "writing" to notice that bit of it...

I think Wolfman was talking about the age of the writer.

So...
It's a one-piece fanfic?
with a mary-sue that steals the power of a character from the Incredibles, the main lead of One piece, and some obscure/probably-perverted-comic character?