Re: Amahain's Stories
 

Thanks Frice2000. I actually find it quite hard to describe the TFees state of mind during a TF, so I'm glad that you appreciate the effort. It seems much easier to describe a TF from an observer's point of view, which is why I usually have more than one character transforming in most of my stories.

As for something that's slower paced, more developed, and focusing on the after-effects of a TF, that may be the "midquel" that I have planned for the whole Ravanda-Sibyl saga. Might be some time before I get around to writing it, though.

Re: Amahain's Stories
 

I'm just glad to be able to have helped!

Re: Amahain's Stories
 

And I'm thankful for that. It's always good to have a second pair of eyes go over the stories before submitting them to the public.

Re: Amahain's Stories
 

Just dumping a couple more stories on you guys (see the attachments on page 1): two sequels to Broken Sanctuary - an epidemic TF story set in the Diablo universe.

As always, these stories will be uploaded on my FA account in .rtf format very shortly for those of you with problems reading MS Word documents.

Re: Amahain's Stories
 

These two new additions were OK...just absolutely no resistance at all is kind of blah. Should be more of a struggle, and the damn Rogues should be better fighters. They are kind of known for disarming traps and having mild psychic abilities and they should be able to kill demons far better then this. Pretty much the only reason Andariel successfully took them over was Blood Raven, the Rogue from Diablo 1, betraying them in her death and leading their army with her extreme skill. Otherwise the Rogues would've taken them down. So kind of needs some better balancing as your 'good guys' are way too weak in the context of this story. And while the transformation and fetish value is good would like to see a better story as well.

Re: Amahain's Stories
 

Fair enough. No doubt I've written better stories than those two. They've been stewing in my computer's memory for several months and it just seemed like a waste if I didn't post them. The next story that I'll be posting has a bit more plot.

Thanks for the feedback. I honestly mean it.

Re: Amahain's Stories
 

Great to see you are still pushing the stories out. Very excited to see more from the Diablo universe where corruption and dark transformation are so prevalent.

I liked the multiple use of various D2 Act 1 monsters. The Arachne, Goatlings, and Tainted were certainly interesting...(I have toyed around with a Tainted TF in some of my sketches. Might bring that one up to the surface again.)

The only weakness I think is a consequence of the scale. You excel at detailed TF's and that goes to show in your earlier work with groups of 2 and 3 at a time. Here of course you have a much larger cast and much faster pacing along with characters falling to the same 'classes' so there were some more mechanical repetition in the process.

Still a great read and it is great to see new stuff from you.

Plenty of room for more D2 corruption goodness...Personally been interested in working with some sort of TF involving the Wretched Mothers in Act IV...

Course there is also D3 ;-)

Re: Amahain's Stories
 

Ah, wretched mothers. Glad to see I'm not the only one who saw them in the game and thought "this could be an awesome TF if done well."

The Diablo universe has no shortage of creatures that would work well in a TF story. It's one reason why I'm really looking forward to a complete D3 bestiary.

Edit:
The faster pacing is, in part, because I want to move the story beyond the Rogue Monastery. I was kind of rushing to get the Sisterhood corrupted so that I can focus on some other places in Sanctuary with thematically appropriate TFs (eg. tentacle beasts in Khejistan). I'll try to pace myself for the next story; still plenty of Act 1 monsters that I haven't touched yet.

Re: Amahain's Stories
 

To expand on my prior post, the problem I have to start with the D2 corruption is the question of can humans even actually become demons? That's the question. If you look at most of the humanoid enemies in D1-D2 the 'corrupted' ones are almost always Undead. For example in Act I most of the fallen Rogues you kill are Undead, then in their death animation you see their souls mercifully escaping their twisted and corrupted bodies, likely going to whatever the afterlife exists in Sanctuary.

In fact I'm pretty sure Diablo canon states that you are either born: 1. Demon. 2. Angel. 3. Human/Horradrim. There isn't another option. Moving between states isn't really possible. You can corrupt a humans/angels body into an evil form, but there soul is still and a human and can be saved. I mean if we look at the Warrior from Diablo 1 who became the Dark Wanderer in Diablo 2 he was able to hold THE prime Evil inside him for dozens of months without succumbing then even when he did Diablo had to trick him into going East, he could've still fought longer but he was on a losing battle. Tal Rasha managed to maintain some level of control for THOUSANDS of years against another high level prime evil. It kind of indicates demonic corruption is pretty difficult to cause, and that most of the demons were thus more then likely ported in from Hell.

Anyway, I'm probably just way over analyzing what's supposed to be a fetish TF story, but I would like to see something staying near actual Diablo canon. Let me just reiterate I like your writing and stories and if this wasn't taking place in Sanctuary I'd be far more positive, but since you're in Blizzard's sandbox I have issues with plot connections which makes me a little bit more critical of the story.

Re: Amahain's Stories
 

Although I plead guilty to taking liberties with canon (I mean, this whole story takes place before the events of D3... think of it as an alternate history), I don't think I'm too far off the mark. Corrupted rogues are considered demons in the game, at least for the purposes of game mechanics. Whether or not they're actual demons is debatable, but they are definitely former humans whose minds and forms have been twisted by Andariel. I also see no indication in the game that they're supposed to be undead - I don't really see how their death animation would support that assertion.

Re: Amahain's Stories
 

If you watch Blood Raven, and most of the other corrupted Rogues dying right around here for Blood Raven you can see for a brief few seconds a bright incorporeal flash. I've always taken that to be the soul leaving the body that was corrupted. So yes their body was corrupted but the soul no. If they were Demons then the soul would have to be corrupted too at least in my opinion...which I don't think we've got evidence for.

Re: Amahain's Stories
 

Yes, I'm aware of their death animations. I'd say it's open to interpretation. Maybe it's their uncorrupted soul escaping their bodies. Maybe it's the demonic spirit that possessed them that's escaping their bodies. The game never makes that point particularly clear, and establishing canon based on a death animation seems a bit shaky to me.

And I'm still not sure if I really understand the complaint, here. There's plenty of precedent in the Diablo universe for demons turning mortals into demonic looking creatures. Succubi, corrupted rogues, goatmen, and council members were all humans once. If my mistake is labeling these corrupted people as demons, then it's a mistake that people on the Diablo team have made as well. Succubi and goatmen are specifically referred to as demons in the manual, and all four monster classes are demons according to the game mechanics.

Anyway, it seems like a minor quibble to me. Diablo lore isn't entirely consistent with itself, never mind my interpretation of it.