Getting better but seemed to go by fast. A little more descriptive always helps
Add a little flair and make it sound sexy. Describe how her breasts bounced as she ran, what she was thinking and set the mood. This includes the surroundings too.
It's a good story but a little positive advise never hurts. Plus Midna bouncing boobs alone is a smile on my face.
Oh and glad to hear from ya again.