[Amahain]

Correct me if I'm wrong (and I don't mean that in a patronising way - I really might be wrong here), but you seemed to imply that erotic stories and well written stories are mutually exclussive, and so it makes no sense to critique an erotic story for its style. I don't think this is the case. A well written erotic story is going to have more of an effect on its readers than a poorly written one, and so style is still important, and it makes sense that a writer like Tetsumi would be asking for constructive criticism.