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Unread 11-20-2008   #12
Sephie
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Over the Mountains Of the Moon, Down the Valley of the Shadow
Posts: 9,693
Re: A Fedgling Writer Emerges

Just now found this thread. I wish that not only would people actually read the writing threads but they would comment on them. The lack of this discourages new writers. Most of the better writers actually appreciate it when you find errors and point it out and the lack of community interface can cause them not to submit their works, or in my case not bother in producing process material (though college has something to do with that too).
Quote:
In the beginning there was only one god and man.
This sentence is ambiguous. It could mean that their was only one god and one man or there was only one god and there was man (as in mankind).

Quote:
The god watched over them unnoticed until one of his jokes back fired.
I would establish that the god played jokes on man before you have this sentence.

More to come later
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