Very nice story, I enjoyed it quite a bit. Thank you very much for posting it. I look forward to reading anything else you come out with
. A couple little criticisms and complements follow, but all in all I really enjoyed this story. Again thanks for it.
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He slowly mumbled out to himself. “Wait…cheesecake is a euphemism for…”
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A common street thug uses words like euphemism correctly? :P
Quote:
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“Why do women wear heels? Women wear heels because it makes their legs look good and its makes them taller. Why do they want to look taller? Because women are shorter and smaller than men usually. This witch is making me into a woman. Oh NO, I’m going to be short and small that’s why it (me) wants to wear them.” Ed’s internal monologue ended in an external cry of despair as the new realization sunk in.
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Would be better if you broke that up into a feminine inner voice as well as his struggling male inner voice or if you had simply broken the thoughts up into separate lines, kind of hard to follow like that. Also I wish you had included a little more of it later in the story would have been interesting.
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Ed wobbly rose to his small feet like a fawn taking its first steps
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Awesome line love it.