The Process Forum - View Single Post

Jaran · 03-29-2009

That was exceptionally well-written. Excellent job on the gradual shrinking, and the role reversal. Loved it. Only error I could find that threw me off slightly was that Rick slipped in where it should have been Kyle, at one point.

"pulled her now soaking hair away from her face and looked up at Rick’s face" - Kyle's face, unless I'm mistaken."

Regardless, excellent story.

03-29-2009	#2
Jaran Frequent Poster Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 267	Re: Story: Gemma (SW, slow, SM) That was exceptionally well-written. Excellent job on the gradual shrinking, and the role reversal. Loved it. Only error I could find that threw me off slightly was that Rick slipped in where it should have been Kyle, at one point. "pulled her now soaking hair away from her face and looked up at Rick’s face" - Kyle's face, unless I'm mistaken." Regardless, excellent story.