[MCLP]

Okay, I just buckled down and read the whole thing. I just wanted to vent a bit and give my two cents.

I've rarely wanted to smack a main character as often as I wanted to smack this guy. He's thoughtless, emotionally fuckwitted, and would drive me crazy if I hadn't known a bunch of teenages that act just like him in my life. As it is, I just really wanted to reach accross the 4th wall to backhand him on more than one occassion.

Also, his doctor is a complete quack. After being discharged for major head trauma your patient comes back to you days later having lost a great deal of weight and you give him a clean bill of health? Later you suggest microwaves might be responsible for something before never recorded by medical science? Microwaves? It boggles the mind.

Another critique, I'm never sure what color anyone's hair is. You would think just shading in hair wouldn't be dificult, but apparently the artist can only shade in certain people's hair...if he's in the right mood...and it's the right time of day. I am glad, though, that he's started cleaning up his sketch lines. Now if only he could move onto inking and backgrounds I would have no complaints. Well, no complaints except that some of those chins are way too pointy, but unfortunately, that's pretty normal these days.

Final opinion, well, those are really the biggest problems I have with it. Even though I've known people who are like the main character, that doesn't help make the main character likable, but it's far better than so much TG fiction that's out there, and on it's own it's at least readable. I'll be sticking with it. In part because I'm curious to see where it goes, and in part because despite the problems I have with it, it seems to be improving as it goes along.