[Hellstromm, Son of Satan]

100 non-technological things your son/grandson/nephew may never know about:

1-"The Texas Chainsaw Massacre", despite its title, has very low gore

2-Michael Myers doesn't torture people, and his victims don't squeal like banshees

3-Inspector Clouseau is Peter Sellers

4-The Joker was mutated when he fell on a vat of chemicals (and he looks like either Jack Nicholson or Cesar Romero)

5-Muslim people aren't our enemies

6-Michael Jackson was something OTHER than a big pedophile joke

7-Danny Ocean is Frank Sinatra, his ten thieves are the Rat Pack

8-Star Wars is a trilogy of live action movies worshipped by nerds starring LUKE Skywalker with Yoda in a non-asskicking supporting role

9-Eurythmics sang "Sweet Dreams Are Made of These"

10-Transformers Generation 1

11-80s Ninja Turtles cartoon

12-Harry Potter is a character from "Troll"

13-Homer Simpson is a character from "The Day of the Locust"

14-Buffy is Kristy Swanson

15-Stargate is a movie

16-Seeing a woman grow to giant size in the big screen is a rare thing

17-Traditionally animated WESTERN movies

18-"I Am Legend" is not a remake of "28 Days Later", it's the other way around

19-The Power Rangers are Billy, Kimberly, Trini, Aisha, Tommy, Zack, Adam, Jason and Rocky, and they fight Rita Repulsa and Lord Zedd

20-"Disney actor" doesn't mean "teenage actor"

21-Slasher movies can have gore without being gore porn or torture porn

22-Gwen Stacy is supposed to die

23-Ghost movies don't have to be remakes of Asian movies

24-George W. Bush Senior

25- Dwayne Johnson is a wrestler known as "The Rock"

26-The Mummy is Boris Karloff

27- "King Kong" is a 1933 movie

28-"The Lord of the Rings" is a cheesy animated movie by Ralph Bakshi

29-Nobody gives a rat's ass what Ian Fleming thinks

30- When you want to start fresh with a dying franchise, you remake the original movie

31-When people are in danger, they run away (they don't "parkour")

32-Being a goth (as opposed to being emo)

33-Someone with long hair and garish clothes is a person with poor taste in fashion (not a "flogger")

34-The go-to show about a group of people stranded in a desert island is "Gilligan's Island"

35-A man with womanly tastes and looks is effeminate (not "metrosexual")

36-Someone who doesn't eat meat is a vegetarian (not a "vegan")

37-Weed is primarly smoked by hippies

38-Rap is an uncool, kid-friendly thing

39-Ozzy Ozbourne is the singer from Black Sabbath

40-The king of goths is Alice Cooper (not Marilyn Manson)

41- MTV is supposed to show music videos

42- The Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon and Disney Channel are supposed to show only cartoons

43-The go-to musical about teenagers and high school is "Grease"

44- "Romeo and Juliet" is a tragedy

45- A lesbian is someone from the island of Lesbos

46-Fox Kids

47-The correct music to be played in the event of a zombie invasion is "Thriller"

48- Vampires are affected by crosses and holy water

49-A werewolf originates by either being the seventh male son born, or being cursed by a gypsy

50-Batgirl is Barbara Gordon, Commissioner Gordon's daughter

51-Animatronics, make-up and prosthethics as special effects

52-The word "muggles" comes from the book "Rah and the Muggles"

53- "Howl's Moving Castle" is a book by Dianna Wynne Jones

54-The go-to giantess in comic books is Giganta

55- In Marvel Comics, superheroes are the good guys and supervillains are the bad guys

56-In Marvel Comics, good is supposed to win over evil

57-The go-to show abot young people suddenly gaining superpowers is "Misfits of Science"

58-"The Mask" is a comic book filled with gore and dark humor

59-The Teenage Mutant Ninjas Turtles are character from a comic book filled with gore

60-The worst video game movie had nothing to do with Uwe Boll (and it was called "Super Mario Bros")

61-The worst comedy director is Michael Lehmann, not Selzter and Friedberg

62- It was called "Scary Movie" because that was the working title for "Scream"

63-You are not supposed to know that Jigsaw is John Kramer

64-The Punisher is Dolph Lungrend

65-A faggot is a musical instrument

66- The 300 Spartsans and the Battle of Thermopylae has nothing to do with Frank Miller or Zack Snyder

67-There are other movies made about the Titanic other than the Leonardo Di Caprio one

68-Leonardo Di Caprio looks like a woman

69-The original "riffing movies" concept comes from showings of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" (and not Tom Servo or Rifftrax)

70-There are Tim Burton movies not starring the Johnny Depp-Helena Bonham Carter duo

71-"Mars Attacks" are a series of trading cards

72-"Twilight" is a crime thriller starring Clint Eastwood

73-"28 Days" has nothing to do with zombies

74-"Sabrina" is a young seductress, not a witch

75-Homer is a poet, not a cartoon character

76-This site didn't start as a message board

77-Werewolves are supposed to be scary, not erotic

78-M. Night Shyamalan is a scary, intelligent director

79-The worst movie of all time is "Plan 9 From Outer Space"

80-Animated movies not voiced by celebrities

81-The sequel to "Peter Pan" is "Hook"

82- "Wizard" and "magician" are NOT the same thing

83- The best comic book movie is "Superman"

84-The original "Dragon Ball" anime

85- The go-to anime about teenage heroes on giant robots is either "Gatchaman", "Mazinger" or "Voltron"

86- Willy Wonka is Gene Wilder

87-The Nutty Professor is a skinny white guy who drinks a formula in order to become cooler, hotter and suaver

88-Doctor Dolittle is white, and he sings

89-You are not supposed to know that Mister Hyde is really Doctor Jekyll

90-Hannibal Lecter is Brian Cox

91-Wolverine is not the leader of the X-Men, Cyclops is

92-The Phantom of the Opera is a novel by Gaston Leroux and a movie with Lon Chaney

93-The correct name is "Frankenstein's Monster"

94-His name is Captain Marvel, not "Shazam"

95-Green Lantern's weakness is the color yellow

96- The go-to movie about teenagers wanting to lose their virginity is "Porky's"

97-Duck Dodgers wears a green spandex suit with an antenna, and his enemy is called Marvin the Martian

99- Frank Miller used to hate Hollywood

100- The go-to Republican president associated with evil is Richard Nixon