[frice2000]

Wow...Another fantastic story from you. This one didn't have the plot and character development of your last work and as such wasn't exactly on its level...But wow did you ever write a unbelievably compelling transformation scene and story.

I can see that you were concerned about your issues with internal dialogue in your Christmas Cake story and this was sort of your way of attempting to work through some of those problems. Let me assure you, you definitely succeeded. The internal dialogue between the male protagonist and the emerging female persona was done brilliantly. Word choice, emotion, memories all done extremely well. This is the best example I've ever seen of this technique used within a TG/TF story and I've read quite a few that have attempted it.

Next the transformation itself. Damn fascinating and erotic to behold. The skin changing colors from 'mocha to milk' as you put it was a personal highlight for me. The other changes were superb as well. The transformations mental changes are always a favorite for me and while your story wasn't long in terms of time dealt with the changes still felt slow and wonderful. I would have personally preferred to not see his old male personality totally subsumed or have had an impact on his new female persona, however you did write that extremely well too.

In regards to the transformation scene it felt like you really had two stories. One of Jonathan picking out Michelle's new form through clothing selection and the like and the main one of Michelle transforming. It would have been nice to see more of Jonathan's choices to transform Manuel and intersperse them with the main transformation possibly, although you used similar techniques in other stories so I can understand why you were reluctant here.

In regards to the non-transformational elements this is where you REALLY shine. Instead of having hollow two dimensional characters you actually inject personality and history which links so nicely with the transformational aspects happening to the character. Michelle's love of donuts was a very cute little plot point that most other authors would have left out that adds a great deal to your story. Other little touches similar to that is what really elevates your stories from the other stories on this site and other websites. I love the backgrounds you carved out for them.

All in all another fantastic story from you. That there are no other replies to this thread after 12 hours is criminal. This is one of the best TG stories I've read as are all your others. I look forward to reading more from you in the future. Thanks very much for sharing your very vivid and well written stories.

Oh and as a note...If you post a story in a Word Document you release meta-data that includes what is likely your real name and other such information. You may want to remove that by right clicking on the .Doc file and editing its properties if you want to go under a pseudonym. It might also behoove you to post the stuff as a PDF so that no one can complain about formats and the story will display exactly as you want it. There are many PDF creators out there that act sort of like a printer and you might want to try that for releases.