[Rachel Bronwyn]

To be fair, ADHD is overdiagnosed in North America and Ritalin is overprescribed. There are a lot of parents who can't be bothered to, you know, parent their children. Some are naive enough to think "It can't be that tough." When the kid arrives and it becomes apparent being a mom or dad involves effort, some refuse to believe their perfectly normal child is just that and insist the kid's hyperactive and needs to be zombified.

There are doctors who are too eager to diagnose kids with ADHD and prescribe them Ritalin. MY step-sister is a special education teacher, working primarily with behaviourally challenged kids. She's seen her students with social anxiety being doped up on Ritalin because it's the flavour of the month, causing them to become hypersensitive and have horrible gut pain and cardiac arrhythmia and tachycardia, which exacerbates their anxiety.

Lazy people will use anything as an excuse not to challenge themselves. "I can't lose weight because I'm genetically fat" is my favourite. There are lazy parents who insist their children's shit behaviour is due to a disorder as opposed to their absolute lack of parenting. There are doctors who will enable this.

95% though? I'd love to know how you came to that statistic. ADHD is very real and quite common. It is debilitating. Lots of people with ADHD are motivated to be the best they can. It's significantly harder for them to accomplish that than it is for others without disabilities though. They often have to do things differently, sometimes taking longer than those of us who are lucky enough not to be interrupted by behavioural disorders.

A girlfriend of mine wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until the end of high school because she doesn't demonstrate the overt hyperactivity young boys with the disorder have. She's can't absored information though. ADHD is severely underdiagnosed in girls because they display it differently. At the beginning of every semester she serves her professors with a form from the federal government, saying they are obligated to provide her with a private room in which to write tests so she can read all the questions aloud and a third more time than the rest of the students. She's capable. She's motivated. Accomplishing what comes relatively easily to me though is significantly more difficult for her. I don't tell her to pull up her bootstraps. Her challenges are by no means the result of laziness. I don't blame her parents either because, regardless their efforts, her ADHD could not be averted and it cannot be undone. It's an organically occurring condition. Her brain functioning looks different than mine on an EEG. I'm empathetic towards her and am greatful I'm not faced with the obstacles she is. I don't shit on her for her disorder.

Then there are kids so severely affected by ADHD that overcoming their disability may not be possible. A former boss of my mom's has a teenage son with sever ADHD who will go several weeks without sleeping. He's also drug-resistant. Because he doesn't sleep, he's perpetually on edge, mood-wise and physically unwell. One of his parents always needs to be up with him. The best outcome for him anyone can hope for is that, post-puberty, his symptoms mellow. If not, he will likely never lead a normal life and will require assistance 24/7. If that's the outcome, I won't be telling him to pull up his bootstraps either. Again, this isn't the result of laziness on the part of the parents or the kid. If he could overcome his disability, he would do everything in his power to. He is miserable. He doesn't lack motivation. He lacks ability. Seeing him makes me particularly greatful the challenges I do have are treatable. It also makes me ponder how unfair life is.

It's best not to pass judgement on conditions or generalise the circumstances of disorders. Until you know the particulars of an individual case of ADHD you have no idea whether a lack of motivation on the parent or child is to blame whatsoever and it's probably best to approach the situation with a bit of empathy.