The Process Forum - View Single Post - The Succubus' For Better or For Worse Part 2 (Complete)

frice2000 · 01-17-2010

My God the bar with you just keeps getting put higher and higher with each passing story...

My initial reaction to this story being in your Succubus/Cheesecake Universe (...sounds very palatable) was disappointment. I didn't really think you'd come up with a story to tell beyond the one and dones that this little universe of yours already had. But I was very very wrong. This story was superbly crafted. Your characters evolved superbly, you dealt with family relations which are so often forgotten, and you filled in backgrounds and motivations so very beautifully. It's staggering the level of improvement in this story compared to just your last one. Every single one gets better. Your writing style to me seems to be evolving to be very reminiscent of the author Kelley Armstrong's work where she introduces new characters in each story that are later set up for their own original novels. I'd love to now read more about any of the characters you've filled out in this story. Simply fantastic where you can go with ANY of these characters in the future.

Weak points of this story were few and far between. I did see the ending coming from the very beginning of the story sadly and when she was told to go to Las Vegas I groaned at the obvious implications. Other weak points were a little more could have been done with Zoe's parents in my mind, but I expect they'll be making their appearance in your next chapter. Also I do hope that some representation of a positive force similar to angels or the like is revealed (not just fuzzily moral characters such as witches) in this universe as obviously demons and such exist so their opposite number would be intriguing to hear about. Hell can even see them being a good antagonist if you wrote a fourth one with them suspicious/interested in Zoe's existence.

Again wow. It's criminal if you don't have some sort of professional writing job. I feel you really need to write something more mainstream and make a career out of this. Your writing and characters could EASILY be published. Regardless, I super anxiously await the conclusion of this story...please don't take too long

. Oh and my comment about Zoe not being a real Succubus in the end in one of my posts in your stories...I apologize >.>. This was the best treatment of Succubi I've ever read and that includes various professional authors books. THANKS VERY MUCH for sharing this. You should publish this in some more places too. Give it some more exposure. Definitely deserves it. Also if you do happen to write at any other sites with material that you have not published on this forum could you provide a link to them? Even if they are not work of this type I'd be quite interested to see what else your imagination has cooked up. Thanks also for posting a PDF file this time. Was a lot easier to get it archived onto my e-Reader with proper formatting then your other stories have been. I pity the poor poor people who have to read this uncomfortably off a computer screen.

Also someone needs to come up with a Succubus Cheesecake recipe. I can see it having chocolate and pineapple in it...Oh look found a recipe for it upon a Google search: http://www.grouprecipes.com/31727/ch...heesecake.html . I would bake it in your honor but I hate pineapple. Couldn't have gone with cherry or vanilla huh?

01-17-2010	#7
frice2000 "My way of thanking you" Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 401	Re: The Succubus' For Better or For Worse Part 2 of the Succubus Bride My God the bar with you just keeps getting put higher and higher with each passing story... My initial reaction to this story being in your Succubus/Cheesecake Universe (...sounds very palatable) was disappointment. I didn't really think you'd come up with a story to tell beyond the one and dones that this little universe of yours already had. But I was very very wrong. This story was superbly crafted. Your characters evolved superbly, you dealt with family relations which are so often forgotten, and you filled in backgrounds and motivations so very beautifully. It's staggering the level of improvement in this story compared to just your last one. Every single one gets better. Your writing style to me seems to be evolving to be very reminiscent of the author Kelley Armstrong's work where she introduces new characters in each story that are later set up for their own original novels. I'd love to now read more about any of the characters you've filled out in this story. Simply fantastic where you can go with ANY of these characters in the future. Weak points of this story were few and far between. I did see the ending coming from the very beginning of the story sadly and when she was told to go to Las Vegas I groaned at the obvious implications. Other weak points were a little more could have been done with Zoe's parents in my mind, but I expect they'll be making their appearance in your next chapter. Also I do hope that some representation of a positive force similar to angels or the like is revealed (not just fuzzily moral characters such as witches) in this universe as obviously demons and such exist so their opposite number would be intriguing to hear about. Hell can even see them being a good antagonist if you wrote a fourth one with them suspicious/interested in Zoe's existence. Again wow. It's criminal if you don't have some sort of professional writing job. I feel you really need to write something more mainstream and make a career out of this. Your writing and characters could EASILY be published. Regardless, I super anxiously await the conclusion of this story...please don't take too long . Oh and my comment about Zoe not being a real Succubus in the end in one of my posts in your stories...I apologize >.>. This was the best treatment of Succubi I've ever read and that includes various professional authors books. THANKS VERY MUCH for sharing this. You should publish this in some more places too. Give it some more exposure. Definitely deserves it. Also if you do happen to write at any other sites with material that you have not published on this forum could you provide a link to them? Even if they are not work of this type I'd be quite interested to see what else your imagination has cooked up. Thanks also for posting a PDF file this time. Was a lot easier to get it archived onto my e-Reader with proper formatting then your other stories have been. I pity the poor poor people who have to read this uncomfortably off a computer screen. Also someone needs to come up with a Succubus Cheesecake recipe. I can see it having chocolate and pineapple in it...Oh look found a recipe for it upon a Google search: http://www.grouprecipes.com/31727/ch...heesecake.html . I would bake it in your honor but I hate pineapple. Couldn't have gone with cherry or vanilla huh? Last edited by frice2000; 01-17-2010 at 09:35 PM.