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Unread 06-04-2010   #13
Wussy
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 192
Re: Story: The Worst That Could Happen

Quote:
Originally Posted by pseudoclever View Post
?I wasn't planning on using scissors. Just sit tight.?
I like the way "you" think!

Quote:
?Oh...oh God, you should...stop. Stop!? she cried.

At this, I paused. ?If that's really what you want me to do, I will. But can you really tell me that you don't want this? I mean, this whole situation is sexy as all hell. You know I've got a thing for tall girls, and besides that, I bet you wouldn't mind gaining a few more inches either. You can always use the last of your energy to get back to normal, after all. And if we can get your pants off this way...well hey, that's a rather elegant solution to the problem, isn't it??

Candice seemed to consider this for a moment, and then, once again, she shot me that condescending smirk. ?Seth, don't you think I already thought of that? I mean, I still have all this power left,? she said, pointing at her hair. ?I've got to do SOMETHING with it, and yes, you're right, growing again sounds rather nice. Especially if you're as in to it as I am.?

?But then why did you tell me to stop??

She looked at me sheepishly. ?Um, well...contrary to popular belief, 'no' does not always mean 'no.' I'm a woman, and as such, I reserve the right to be illogical from time to time. But thank you for taking me at my word.?

?Any time,? I replied acidly.
This whole exchange seems unnecessary. It sounds like you, the writer, are annoyed with women. If you cut it out, nothing changes in the story.

Quote:
My eyes were now level with her full, luscious lips. As she spoke I watched them move with a kind of hypnotic fascination.
I like these lines. They're just a couple of sentences but I find them really appealing.


Your story continues to impress, and I look forward to the upcoming installments.
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