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Originally Posted by pseudoclever
I thought this section might be a sticking point with some readers. I included it for a couple reasons.
First, I was trying to 'show' the reader the type of personality that Candice has, to make her a more realistic character. I've mentioned her theatrical, 'actress' style, and this section tries to reinforce that. I could go on about what kind of 'person' she is, but that's not my style - I'd rather the reader figure it out for themselves.
Second, even if it DOES come off as kind of sexist...some girls do act that way sometimes. And given that Candice is doing this primarily to mess with Seth's head, I don't feel like it should be a problem.
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Well, her
immediate reaction is to yell at him to stop.
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?That was just phase one, my dear. Now, for the second....? I wrapped my fingers around the thin material of her g-string, twisted once, and jerked. The elastic snapped like an overstressed rubber band, and her underwear came free in my hand.
?What? Why did....? she started to say. Before she could finish her objection I darted forward, and thrust my hand into the space I had created. I caressed the edge of her sex with my fingertips for a fraction of a second, and then I struck. She was still damp from earlier, and I slid inside her with surprising ease.
?Oh...oh God, you should...stop. Stop!? she cried.
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It's only after he does that she gets a second to think about it and expand on it/mess with his head. And while I agree that it's her being playful with him, it still sounds really awkward to me. "Well I'm a woman and therefore can change my mind whenever I want." is a strange response to anything.
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By the way Wussy, I do appreciate all the effort you're putting into the 'constructive criticism.' This is the kind of thing I need to get better, and although it's been hard to take sometimes, you've made some good points.
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I'm glad you understand what I'm trying to do. I don't do this a lot anymore because some people got really upset when I pointed out problems. But you asked for it back at the beginning, and so you get it!
