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Originally Posted by frice2000
I don't understand why the changes happened so quickly after the first bit of magic but then did nothing when he did the pretty major magic to change his friends later. Other then that very nice work indeed.
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~~CRITIQUE~~
Yea that's kinda part of it. It seems that the story was somewhat rushed and the main character went from learning he had a magic book to going hardcore with it. There was no transition between which I would think the average teenage boy would have (not exactly unbelievable but different). I know it could be justified with how the kid has always liked magic but it still seems somewhat hard to swallow that the kid would be that enthused or believing of what he is experiencing. Nonetheless, the beginning is so strong that it makes the second part a mere fore thought. Must say that the end of the second part truly has potential to be great. It really leaves the door open and makes the story that much more exciting while building up a atmosphere.