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Mr GorpThorp · 06-23-2010

Pretty good setup, have a good feeling for the characters so far. I'd just say put a couple more breaks in there so it isn't a wall of text. Well done

06-23-2010	#3
Mr GorpThorp Frequent Poster Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 402	Re: Pounds (a BE/WG/BBW/Cliched story) Pretty good setup, have a good feeling for the characters so far. I'd just say put a couple more breaks in there so it isn't a wall of text. Well done __________________ Gorp. Thorp.