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Unread 10-04-2010   #6
EchoWing
Process Master
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 837
Re: BESC: The God's Labyrinth

Woo! Responses!

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Pretty decent script. Just wished there was more Breast expansion in the second installment. but I like the storyline.
Thanks, mj - here's hoping you like how it all plays out. Trust me, there will be more BE before everything's through.

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I know it's the *Breast Expansion* Story Club, but I like seeing a vatiety of processes and transformations. So long as stuff is changing/getting bigger in general, I'm all for it. Don't be afraid to brach out!
Glad to hear you're enjoying that, Soylent. Rest assured, there'll be more changes as the story goes on.

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Thanks for reminding me I was overdue to resubscribe to the BESC (can't justify it every month).

A variety of magical "increased beauty" transformations, with the promise of more to come -- right up my alley, so you've got me there.

No problem with the fact that there aren't any transformations in the second chapter. With all the exposition that is provided, it really increases the tension for what's going to happen in the next 3 chapters.

I'm kind of going back and forth on how I feel about seeing Leslie's final form at the very beginning; of course, based on the first two chapters, I assume we can look forward to the other four becoming more, uh, different from their initial forms than Leslie does. (And by the way, I strongly disagree with her narration box statement "But you aren't interested in me now" -- a tall, geeky redhead with a cute face and big boobs? I am very interested. )

I actually think the sexiest transformation depicted in the first chapter is Stephanie's hair growth. Just because it's the kind of thing I'm into, I hope it's actually a "curse," that is, that she either won't be able to cut it, or that it grows back very quickly.

Annie's clothes becoming skimpier before dissolving entirely was also pretty darn sexy. Although speaking of curses, I was also hoping that her "transformation" was actually a curse, and that any further clothing she put on would either dissolve or become skimpier -- but that doesn't seem to be the case in Chapter 2. I know, I know, I'm sure there are plenty of surprises on the way in the next 3 chapters...

One thing I couldn't help noticing -- this seems like it might be the artists' fault and not yours -- is that the "Latin" carved onto things in the labyrinth actually looks Greek. I guess it's possible that it's Latin written in the Greek alphabet, although it doesn't seem like it would make much sense for a Greek god to do things that way.
No TFs in the second part? Someone obviously edited my script then, because I had all five girls transforming at the end. Does it still end on a cliffhanger with the Sphinx? I can't tell for myself - no subscription to the site.

And truthfully, I never considered the idea of the hair regrowing after being cut. I had planned something else entirely for the hair, that would've gotten used at the end of the second chapter, but apparently that's been removed. Regardless, it'd be a moot point towards the end anyway. And as for clothing, well...with luck, that'll still be in the third part.

And I specified Latin in the script. That's all the artists.

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I say kudos on the varieties of transformation, but I would also say don't shy away from the extremes.
On another note I did like that fact that not all the characters were happy with their transformation though the one with the hair I would have assumed to be the least phased while the butt expansion girl to be one of the most. Hair can be cut styled and shaped in an instant but body physical features are harder to transform (that is with out potions, aliens, magic, ect.)
Eh, extremes are okay, but I'm more playing around here. I didn't want to go for broke unless I had to.

As for reactions, well, these are meant to be five different girls. Leslie's your average cute geek, smart and fairly normal though not above a little jealousy, Jennifer's the bouncy, friendly blonde (not dumb, but definitely good-natured), Christine's sweet but kinda clumsy, Annie's meek and shy and prettier than she thinks, while Stephanie's something of a stuck-up bitch. Stephanie's frustration is more about being in this situation in the first place, while everyone else is just trying to stay calm and deal as best they can.

Anyway, glad folks are enjoying it. Here's hoping you like the next few installments...and that I get paid for all of them in very short order.
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