[Esquire]

Having now actually read the story, I do have some criticisms to make. Far, far too much seems to happen just because the plot demands it. It's kinda pointless to use the tone of a serious story and then go "well, X happens because I say so", "on autopilot" rationale or no. There are more graceful ways to handle stuff like that. Also, Lilo's personality seemed to change far too drastically in chapter 4. I do like the "Renovations" dream-metaphor, though.