Quote:
Originally Posted by Nom Anor
I just assumed Suzy's spent enough time around Frank to pick up a few things about rewiring transformation technology. That or it had something to do with a tachyon emitter.  |
But see, that's kind of my point. There is no context to believe that these two characters are related to the Suzi & Frank from others. A clear line of Dialogue in the first novel could have solved that.
"I hope Frank doesn't mind us playing in the Little Leagues today," Suzi remarked looking at her youthened face.
I don't want to give away to much because I know folks will read this, and I know I never appreciate it when my friends ruin TV shows (Breaking Bad) or Movies for me.
But if this was going to be a continuation of the first story it should be explained, noted and addressed how Suzi, Marylin, Mandy and Frank all know one another. How the gun came to be in Mandy's possession.
If this is the same Suzi & Maryn from Eeinie Meanie Maryn that would explain the device, but is Frank really the type to let them walk around with a device that potentially fatal in the hands of a novice? Granted this story doesn't deal with this but what would have happened if regression into fetus or progression into dust? We have to assume, as readers, that we don't know these folks from one story to the other unless there's a clear progression from story to story. A reference so to speak.
That's what I was getting at about the story. It just needed a few bits to tighten it up to be a stellar story.
Sorry if I'm over reading this, I've been playing editor for years now and I'm hyper critical of plot gaps and a perfectionist. I don't like leaving my audiences with gaps in the story if they're not meant to be gaps.
Again, nice pictures and regardless I'll be buying the next work. Only works I don't buy from Dreamtales is the GTS, totally not my bag.
--Edit--
I see Captain Ash asked the questions I as a reader were asking. So um... I guess no spoilers from me...