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DragonMasterX · 01-29-2014

No, of course not. There's no realism here other than me trying to generally edge around viability, kind of like how most of the zany sci-fi stuff happens. Speaking of which, I could've been a bit more detailed about the super-strength thing. Similar to how Spider-Man can bench press a tanker, Charlie's even stronger (because apparently scorpions are physically stronger, or so I hear), so translate all that potential to an even larger body (Lexine's bat body) and you got a power-house. Charging through sheer concrete is something reserved for a boring machine or industrial drill, or something of similar impact I realize, but the fact Lexine, after her transformation, was able to absorb all the damage Charlie tried to deal wasn't just to show off. The bat is actually as strong as she's crazy.

lol I wasn't aware buttcheek was a word frowned upon in these kind of stories. Whoops. x: In my defense though, I like to think that despite all the seriousness going on in stories, purposely slipping in words like this can further accentuate that the story's taken in a lighter note. Kind of like a comic book, which was what I was going for to be perfectly honest. XP

And uhm, that review of Charlie's backstory was actually an inner monologue. It's actually a little rule I follow with my Codename: Stinger universe; I instantly assume that this might be the first time for someone reading these stories, and I don't want to leave everything to be assumed by the reader, neither to force them to have to sift through origin stories. To help this, I add scenes similar to this one in order to give the reader a quick intro.

Mmhm, you helped me by mentioning the buttcheek thing indeed. I'll definitely be more careful with my vocabulary from now on.

If you don't mind me asking though, what was lacking in the transformation scene, in your opinion? Please be brutal if you need to. I realize this is a relatively old story and by now I've picked up some cues, but I better attack my weakness while I still got a good reviewer and good storyteller giving me tips to improve.

01-29-2014	#9
DragonMasterX Frequent Poster Join Date: May 2009 Location: Mar del Plata, Buenos Aires, Argentina Posts: 219	Re: Wonderful World (Bat t/f, story series) No, of course not. There's no realism here other than me trying to generally edge around viability, kind of like how most of the zany sci-fi stuff happens. Speaking of which, I could've been a bit more detailed about the super-strength thing. Similar to how Spider-Man can bench press a tanker, Charlie's even stronger (because apparently scorpions are physically stronger, or so I hear), so translate all that potential to an even larger body (Lexine's bat body) and you got a power-house. Charging through sheer concrete is something reserved for a boring machine or industrial drill, or something of similar impact I realize, but the fact Lexine, after her transformation, was able to absorb all the damage Charlie tried to deal wasn't just to show off. The bat is actually as strong as she's crazy. lol I wasn't aware buttcheek was a word frowned upon in these kind of stories. Whoops. x: In my defense though, I like to think that despite all the seriousness going on in stories, purposely slipping in words like this can further accentuate that the story's taken in a lighter note. Kind of like a comic book, which was what I was going for to be perfectly honest. XP And uhm, that review of Charlie's backstory was actually an inner monologue. It's actually a little rule I follow with my Codename: Stinger universe; I instantly assume that this might be the first time for someone reading these stories, and I don't want to leave everything to be assumed by the reader, neither to force them to have to sift through origin stories. To help this, I add scenes similar to this one in order to give the reader a quick intro. Mmhm, you helped me by mentioning the buttcheek thing indeed. I'll definitely be more careful with my vocabulary from now on. If you don't mind me asking though, what was lacking in the transformation scene, in your opinion? Please be brutal if you need to. I realize this is a relatively old story and by now I've picked up some cues, but I better attack my weakness while I still got a good reviewer and good storyteller giving me tips to improve.