[frice2000]

A pretty enjoyable story overall. The main issues were lack of proper world building. You've obviously got quite a few magic users running around in your story and you could have done quite a bit more with explaining out what they do and some of the other terms and such surrounding them. Of course your narrator was seemingly pretty unconcerned with such things but he/she did seem to have some passing familiarity with them, so it would've been nice to see a little bit more of the magic rules in the story rather then dealing purely with your characters transformation. Would have made it a bit more sophisticated then just a TG/AR story and that would have only made it feel a bit more fleshed out.

Another minor problem was that your initial time jump after the transformation was a bit unfair. The setup of getting into school and all could have used a bit more detail. How you handled it felt like you shorted the story out of possibly an initial few chapters. Again, just could have used some more setup and explanation. Perhaps a bit of magic to better create an identity before the books were stolen away or something.

Another little problem was the endings. I didn't understand why Joe felt she was in the wrong body when at the end of the story she realized she was accepting the body as her own. And yet when she went back to school the next day she still was saying she wasn't in the right gender and in the right body...even though just the last bit was accepting that she was who she was meant to be. That seemed very odd and didn't really chain together properly. Kind of cheapened the rest of the story to have her not trying to be a little more accepting of everything.

As to the ending +5-7 years epilogue...I think you'd have been better off without that. Kind of closed too many options in my head for where I'd think the story would have gone. Think less would have been more there and you shouldn't have had that epilogue. Another one around the same ages where they're learning witchcraft together and stuff would have been a better ending point to that.

Overall I'd give it a 3.5 out of 5 stars for the price I paid for it. As a free story it'd be about 4.5 out of 5. Was a good story though and I'd encourage people to give it a shot, but there were quite a few spots where you could have pushed it to be a bit better. I did enjoy it though and I don't regret my purchase.