Salutations, lass, and welcome to our fair gathering place. It's always nice to see someone new getting started writing; after all, from humble beginnings do masterpieces spring.
I'm an old hand at writing size fiction, especially shrinking. Regarding your current piece, I'll provide feedback, as you requested.
The good:
It's obvious you have a sense of humor. Always a positive.
Though the piece was short, I got a pretty decent sense that Tess is a lively character with potential.
Hard to be sure from such a short work, but you seem to have a decent eye for detail.
It's interesting enough that I'd check out the next part.
The bad:
You could probably use some proofreading. I've seen worse...far worse *shudder*...but you do have some errors, chief among them a tendency to use a comma and lowercase letter when you should use a period and start a new sentence.
If you keep at it, and mind your grammar, you've got potential.
