[pseudoclever]

I like this piece thus far. I'll agree there were some minor lighting issues, and to be perfectly honest that frame where you essentially said "HEY GUYS, this is how this thing works!" ...that might have been a little heavy-handed. Your target audience knows the conventions of the genre. You already said it was a transfer story, and even if we didn't know, you communicated it with the doctor yelling "NO NOT NOW!"

But I want to make it clear that this is still really good thus far. I wouldn't be critiquing it if I didn't think it had promise.