For those of you unfamiliar with Ikki Tousen, it's basically a retelling of Romance of the Three Kingdoms set in a Japanese high school setting. The character names are their Japanese equivalents; Kanu Unchou, for example, is Guan Yu.
(In Ikki Tousen, many of the male characters from ROTK are now female, including Kanu Unchou; Guan Yu's famously long beard was changed to her having very long hair instead.)
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"And the Lord said, 'Come forth and receive eternal life.' But John came fifth and won a toaster."
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