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Re: (Story) My Lesbian Boyfriend
Not bad at all!
The main suggestions I have are to pay attention to the tenses (you switched from past to present tense mid way) and to insert blank lines for paragraph separation (easier to read than a wall of text)
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* The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.
* Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
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