Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus Steel
Like Godley said, to me, it was out of left field, if they had said "Oh, what happened to my contacts", or "we have to take them out before we go swimming" or "we lost them swimming", they're eyesight would have been more believable. Heck I would have even accepted that the pool stole the traits of the other women IF it'd been hinted at appropriately. It threw me off but not nearly as much as stuff like the obviously creeping on the little girls in Yard Work 11 by the older brother, or the little sister willfully breastfeeding her brother in Yard Work 13, that's just really weird between siblings, or the shrink/youth ray in Beach Blanket Beauties II shrinking Mandy instead of making her younger.
I'm all for subtle shifts in the story, if it needs it. But if you're working on a particular narrative it seems weird to throw in a fetish just to throw it in. I understand you enjoy fetishes and you want to make the stories interesting for yourself, and I tend to purchase most of your work, I really don't like GTS so I try not to buy those, because I want to support you, but when the change in the narrative seems to happen for no reasons just to fit your own "niche" it's jarring to some of us.
When I write a story and I've found something has shifted out of focus, like how the roles of Monica and Tiffany ended up in A Goddess's Gifts, I go back through and reevaluate everything that led to that and make sure it's a logical progression. Sometimes it can't be helped without a fresh set of eyes, no one can catch everything.
My general rule of thumb, granted I've only provided a few pieces here on the process, but I like to think my narratives are pretty tight, is if you write the rules to something saying it does XYZ and then it suddenly does ABC without a valid explanation it just bad story telling.
If you're looking for test readers for scripts I'm sure there are dozens of us here who would help. With a little judicious rereading, trust me after publishing True Blue Alien: Digital Memories rereading and editing never hurt a story, everyone will start to think less and less about Squirt and more about your latest story. Personally I'm a fan of Booby Battle... but that's just me.
Not meaning to be harsh, I'm a big supporter and I just want to help make all the stories memorable.
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Couldn't have said it better myself there Janus and I also happened to enjoy booby battle quite a bit myself XD. I actually often read over stories for MaxAP and Ninja on the forums for them from time to time and gave them some advice on different scenes or descriptions. There was one story of Max's where I rewrote an entire transformation for him to try and show him what I was talking about. Sometimes fresh eyes on a story really helps in terms of if something makes sense or out of context. Max also has read both of mine before I posted them on the forums here to help out a bit in trying to figure out the context I was going for. We've also brain stormed on a sequel to Attributes with more action involved in it. A lot of the content story creators on this site communicate off of it, and try to give each other a hand from time to time to edit and proof read stories before posting. I think we all value each others opinions and help in trying to make the best fetish material possible with our given skills
Like Janus though, I noticed a TON of the glaring holes in the yard work series. I think that's when the community as a whole started seeing the drop off in quality somewhat. certain story aspects just threw us completely off and left a lot of us scratching our heads. I know I've listed some of my complaints on those forum threads, in panels not being colored right. To mom's glasses disappearing from one panel to only appear in another (please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong here, it's been a while since I've looked at those lol). Then there was inconsistencies on what the formula's actually did in context to the beginning of the story line. The beginning of that series was setup in SUCH a great way and then it sort of, failed to meet expectations on what we thought the story would actually go.