[joyce]

Originally Posted by farkas17

Love the size comparisons and the humiliation Jeff undergoes. Hope it gets worse. --Aaron Farkas

Thanks Aaron! I am happy to report that yes, it gets worse


The next three chapters:

Chapter 4: A Change of Residence

Amid odd phantasmagorias of color and clashing cacophonies of sound, Jeff awoke. His heart was beating rapidly and he realized he was soaked in sweat. He couldn’t recall the last time he had awoken from an actual dream. For years now, he had gone to bed drunk or high, and usually some combination of the two. He realized, lying on his mattress and staring straight up at his cobwebbed ceiling, that he actually hadn’t had anything to drink or smoke yesterday. ‘Excellent,’ he thought immediately, ‘No qualms about drinking today!’ He cheerily kept looking at the ceiling as he planned out exactly how he was going to get wasted, and where he’d go for the best chance at maybe meeting a hot chick to talk up. He thought back a little and remembered a some new beats he had come up with a few weeks ago. Yeah, those were pretty tight.

“Drummers always get the hot chicks,” he said out loud to the ceiling. He smiled to himself, feeling pretty optimistic about the day’s outlook. About this time he turned his attention to the massive erection he was sporting. He looked down his chest at his underwear, which bulged out tremendously. He flexed his erection a few times, enjoying how it strained the underwear fabric. He finally reached down a finger and freed his dick, allowing it to bounce around stiffly until it stood still, tall and proud at full mast.

Jeff loved looking at his dick. He loved flexing and relaxing, and letting his big purple head mushroom bigger and bigger with each flex. He didn’t need to stroke himself to get hard — all he needed to do was look at himself and that was enough. At just over 9 inches and impressively thick, Jeff’s dick was definitely his most physically impressive attribute. Years back, when he was playing music more regularly and when he was having a lot more sex, he had several girls tell him that they had never seen anyone bigger. He remembered their looks of awe, how their eyes almost misted over, how they had choked and gagged down on him, trying hard to be the first to deepthroat him. None of them ever succeeded, Jeff was often proud to recall.

He reached down and grabbed his erection with both hands and squeezed, enjoying how this made him look even larger. He suddenly noticed, with his arms outstretched, the marked contrast between the size of each arm and the size of his penis. Could it be? Was his dick….bigger than his arm? He sat up, pointed his dick forward with his left hand, and held his right forearm up next to it. His penis wasn’t just bigger than his arm: it was almost comical how much his arm was dwarfed. It was at least twice as wide, and many times thicker.

Jeff sat there staring at the contrast, almost not believing it. A strange feeling was beginning to seethe in his loins, and he was surprised to see himself grow even longer and thicker. He was getting turned on, very turned on, in a new way. Something about seeing the contrast, the hugeness of his member next to the tininess, the puniness of his arm, made him feel…it made him feel that something was somehow not right. That something unnatural was happening, and was almost irresistible, something that was inevitably coming on and would not be denied.

And then he suddenly thought of Sarah’s arms. He hadn’t even thought of his encounter with her yesterday until now, and all his confusion and disorientation came flooding back and mixed with this strange feeling intensifying within him. His dick grew larger still. He looked immediately to the hair tie on his nightstand, and without thinking reached over and snatched it up, breathing hard. Would it fit around his cock? It had fit tightly around Sarah’s wrist…

His heart beat even quicker as he tentatively held it up to his mushrooming head and then began pushing it over. It went over his head, but he did have to push it a little bit, and then once it got past the head it fell down to about a quarter down his length, where it stopped. Jeff caught his breath, and began to push it down farther. At his most wide, about 3/4th’s of the way to the base, the hair tie had to stretch a little bit — Jeff pulled it and let it go to see if it would snap, and it didn’t; it remained relatively flaccid around his dick’s thickest part, even though his thickness definitely filled the hair tie’s space. Jeff almost gasped in arousal as he realized that even though his dick was big, Sarah’s wrists were bigger. How puny had his own arms looked next to his erection, which now looked bigger than ever? What were these feelings? His hands began to pump his length from its base, as if he were in a trance.

A crash interrupted his reverie, and Jeff jerked his hands off his dick like he had been burned. A few more crashes followed, coming from John’s bedroom. It was John, bumbling around in the morning. Probably still tripping. Jeff shook his head, wondering why he kept his roommate around, and felt superior to him. ‘John’s got to get his shit together,’ he mumbled to himself, and he looked down at his erection, with the hair tie around it. Jeff was filled with disgust and ripped the hair tie off and threw it in the corner of his room among his papers. What had he been doing? What the fuck was all this shit? Was this because he was dreaming last night? It was probably just from the after-effects of being in a hospital. God knows what those hospital and pharmaceutical execs were pumping into the air. Those money-gouging schemers, who owned all the medical patents, who had all the control, who were just trying to make a buck off you. Poor Sarah, she had gotten conned by them — well, it was just a natural part of growing up. Maybe she’d see reason someday and stop being part of the system. Maybe he’d even write her a friendly email about it, offering some much-needed advice.

Anyway, he was still hard. Time for some actual porn, he thought happily. His mindset switched so seamlessly, such was his lack of self-awareness. It was enough that he did not wish to know or explore that which he found uncomfortable or undesirable — he could simply not think about it, and that was enough for him to proceed merrily along. One time recently a girl even called him “clueless” when he was flirting unsuccessfully with her. He knew, though, that she couldn’t handle his confidence, a man who knew what he wanted, so of course she had said “clueless” rather than what she had meant to say, which was “confident.” Clearly she couldn’t handle him.

That’s what Jeff was getting off to these days. Girls who couldn’t handle big men. “Big” here meant “big penis,” and as far as Jeff was concerned, the two were the same. He quickly splayed open his laptop and went straight to piracy website, searching “big dick small ass.” He liked to find the big white dicks (so he could pretend the dick was his) banging chicks who didn’t have much ass, and who were moaning in pseudo-pain as they were being fucked. Never in the ass, though. That was just gross. Why would anyone want anything to do with an asshole? In any case, he was pleased that he seemed to be into what everyone else was into. There were literally millions of videos of nice big cocks fucking nice tight little dripping pussies. He remembered how Cassie once complained about how most porn was so boring, and how hard it was to find stuff she liked. He chuckled to himself as he pumped his dick, watching a just-turned-18 girl get her pussy banged by a thick white cock. ‘Well, if Cassie gave into her more natural urges and wasn’t such a stubborn freak,’ he thought, ‘then maybe she’d have a little easier time of it.’ It didn’t take him long to have his morning orgasm; ten minutes later he was on the way to the fridge for his late-morning breakfast of Miller High Life and a Slim Jim. It was going to be a good day.

As the next days passed, Jeff went about his usual routine without even thinking about his hip x-ray. Sure, he still limped around, and sure, it hurt, but a little pinched nerve wasn’t going to stop him from doing what he wanted. He drank a lot of cheap beer, smoked a lot of weed (sometimes with Dave, although Dave had started moving his stuff out), and sometimes picked up his drumsticks and tried out some new beats on his rubber drum pad. He was even reading a great new book, called 87 Lies Of The Brave New World: What They’re Not Telling You About The Moon Landings, 9/11, The Federal Reserve, And Everything Else. This book was getting him excited about starting an activist group that could meet in secret and discuss various ways to undermine all the bad forces controlling society. So far, he hadn’t organized everything, but he would, right after he finished this book…

As the days turned into a couple weeks, however, Jeff noticed that although he wasn’t thinking about his hip or the x-ray results, he couldn’t stop thinking about Sarah Helleger. It was starting to really irritate him, how she would randomly pop up in his head at weird times. But he was starting to notice it more and more. It began with just remembering her gorgeous, smiling face, and how wonderful she had looked and sounded. He couldn’t help but be blown away by what she had grown into. But even with this seemingly innocent recollection of Sarah, Jeff felt perplexed and uneasy. There was something sinister that seemed to lurk in the feelings she inspired. He tried to just think of her as that little girl on the block, with her little bicycle, and feel something like fatherly or brotherly affection for her becoming an adult. But this didn’t work, because the apprehensive, amorphous, and slightly sickening feeling only intensified when he thought about how, in only ten years, she had blossomed, developed, and flourished from what she was then to what she was now. He thought about how gentle and how effortlessly adult she looked, and how she had bent down to look him in the face and hand him her number. Why all this fixation on her appearance, on her demeanor? On how grown up she looked?

Jeff’s discomfort grew and grew each passing day, because his usual strategy for ignoring things he did not like to think about wasn’t working. But he loved thinking about Sarah — she was so pretty and doing a great job because of how he helped raise her…but that was not the way he was thinking about her. He was thinking about her big, long hands and fingers on her hips, how tall she was compared to him, her imposing breasts, her grown-up scent, and her expressionless glance across his body after she learned that he weighed 113.1 pounds. He was thinking of how small she made him feel, and about how, despite the fact that he was 7 years older, she was much, much taller and bigger everywhere on her body than he was.

‘Everywhere except the dick,’ he tried to reassure himself. Even that didn’t work this time. And much to his displeasure, he would think about Sarah right after he noticed little things in the world. One day, in the self-check-out line at the grocery store, he had to show his ID to a store employee. The employee came up: she was short and petite, of Indian ancestry, and she was cute. Jeff was thinking of something witty to get her interested in him before he noticed her ass and hips squeezed into her employee pants, leading down to her thighs, which also fit into her pants skin-tight. Jeff was seized with panic as he realized, as he knew, that he could never fit into those pants like that. They would probably fall down around his waist. ‘Anything else, sir?’ came her amused voice, and Jeff turned and took his ID back, unable to meet her eye contact. He had gone home downcast that day, helplessly thinking about how Sarah had filled out her work outfit.

He was noticing these kinds of comparisons more and more, and they were stressing him out. They made him feel small and weak. He knew he wasn’t small and weak. He was just preparing to do great things. So many people, he thought, had to be shunned by society, had to live in the shadows for a time, in order to truly achieve greatness.

And yet he couldn’t help but notice, again and again, and more with each passing day, how big so many women were compared to him. Not fat…just big. He was sure the fat ones were so many more times his size it wasn’t even worth counting. But just regular women, mothers, young women, even teenagers and sometimes younger, started looking big to Jeff in ways he had never really appreciated. A young woman in the parking lot who couldn’t have been older than 20: Jeff had glanced at her legs and noticed how shapely, firm, and muscular they looked in the sun. A mother of two, about his age, in line in front of him with her kids at the pharmacy: Jeff had ventured a look at her and noticed one of her arms as she held up her young son. Thick cords of veins, muscles, and tendons bulged in her undeniably strong arm as her large hand with long powerful fingers steadied her infant son’s legs. He couldn’t even be around Cassie anymore without fixating on her tattooed arms. Of course she noticed and couldn’t avoid flexing her forearms at Jeff, and then licking her lips and flicking her tongue at him when he saw her teasing him.

The worst part about all these things was that they were totally out of Jeff’s control — he was utterly powerless to stop these feelings when they started, and, perhaps most troublingly, they always led back to Sarah. What had she done to him? What was happening to his mind? It was almost as if something wicked had hijacked his psyche and opened a portal into some kind of permanent mental torture. Jeff tried to fight these distressing feelings in two ways. The first was to give himself pep talks about how much of a man he was. Yes, he was small, sure, in all the ways that didn’t count — he had a bigger dick than pretty much any guy who thought he was tough stuff. But who’s better at making girls happy, huh? Besides, plenty of small men did great things. He even went so far as to look up famous great men, and was happy to discover that his own height was shared by Napoleon Bonaparte and Winston Churchill. All he knew was that Napoleon was French and Churchill was English…all that really mattered was that they were 5’6 and “great.” Hell, even these guys named “Mussolini” and “Alexander the Great” were 5’6, and they were all pretty great, apparently. Jeff laughed as he thought about the dick length of this “Alexander the Great” being something like 16 inches. ‘History can be fun,’ he thought as he exited out of his search, having learned all he needed to know. His mirth, however, did not last long.

The other way (by far the more effective) he fought these encroaching feelings was to get even more wasted than usual. Generally he would get drunk almost every night, and then smoke some weed, and then eventually pass out on his mattress. These days, however, with these weird phantom thoughts swirling around his head about Sarah and feeling small and overwhelmed, he really had to take it up another notch. He would start drinking heavily in the morning and not really let up until he simply couldn’t drink anymore. He began finding John better and better company, since they would both often just sit and silently stare at things in the room. As these kinds of days stacked up, Jeff was truly beginning to lose it. He was constantly drunk, tottering around the house in his underwear, occasionally wetting himself. He awoke one morning to the sound of Cassie tugging her last suitcase down the hallway. He was splayed out on the floor in the living room, in a puddle of his own piss, with a smelly brown stain on the butt of his loose-fitting underwear. He looked indistinctly up at Cassie as she carefully, and literally, stepped over him on her way out the door. He had caught a look of disgust in her eyes, and she had even brought her free hand up to pinch her nose closed as she walked over his prostrate form. ‘Well, best of luck to you, Jeff,’ she had said ironically, and turned to leave. Jeff watched the two pillars of her thighs move in her jeans, and weakly watched her ass jiggle and dance its goodbye before she shut the door. He went immediately to his room and masturbated to Cassie’s body before he passed out.

Later that afternoon, in a hungover haze, he woke up and decided on a whim to check his email. Jeff didn’t check email much, because there wasn’t anything he was involved in. He hadn’t checked it in two weeks, since…he froze. Since he wrote that note to the Hellegers! He fumbled at his laptop even faster to see what Sarah’s parents had said to him…about Sarah. He opened his email and began to quickly scan his new messages, mostly from advertisers. However, one subject line caught his eye immediately: BAU HOSPITAL X-RAY RESULTS. Jeff quickly clicked on this link, thinking nonchalantly that he’d have a look. In reality he was prolonging the excitement for the Hellegers' email. He went through the “Patient Portal” and was met with this message:

Mr. Jeff Stintam:

An x-ray of your right hip showed the presence of significant osteonecrosis, otherwise known as avascular necrosis, on the femur head. This condition can be severe, especially when it progresses to the fourth and final stage, as it has in your case. Continued wear on the joint could further damage the femur head and lead to complete bone collapse and arthritis. We recommend prompt Total Hip Replacement surgery, since treatments which involve stem cells and core decompression have not been found to be effective after Stage 3. We are not sure what exactly has caused this condition in you, but risk factors include bone fractures and dislocations in the past, alcoholism, and the use of high-dose steroids.

Please contact the hospital as soon as possible to schedule your surgery.

All the best, BAU Orthopedics


Jeff read the email a few times, feeling dazed. He had to get his hip replaced?? This couldn’t be right. And a bunch of words he couldn’t understand for good measure. It had to be bullshit, he decided. He closed down the hospital’s email and went looking for the Hellegers’. His heart jumped as he saw it, sent 13 days before. Those Hellegers were always on top of it, weren’t they? Jeff chuckled as he opened this email:

Dear Jeff, How wonderful to hear from you! What a lovely happenstance that you ran into Sarah at her work. Nothing too bad brought you to the hospital, we hope?!

Anyway, I’m sure Sarah took good care of you. She has grown up, hasn’t she?? She’s taller than both of us now; it’s incredible. She was a late bloomer too. She was tiny little Sarah up until she was 16, and then boom, she just kept growing and growing!

We really could not be more proud of her these days. She’s working at the hospital, and she’s a consulting researcher for several of the medical journals in the city. She’s young, but she’s already gained a lot of respect in many circles, and she’s even published a coupled of articles with other people! Haha, we know it’s obnoxious to brag about our daughter, but it’s just so hard not to!

We’d love to see you when the holidays roll around! Sarah keeps on coming back here, even though she’s got her own place now. She worked all through high school and college and saved up, because she knew what she wanted! A space of her own! We don’t even help her with any bills anymore. She’s got it all covered!

Well anyway, Jeff, enough about Sarah. How are you doing these days? Still playing drums? You were always so nice to Sarah growing up — I’m sure she loved seeing you again. Thanks so much for contacting us, and we hope to see you sometime soon.

Love, Jan (and Chris of course, but Jan wrote the email!)


Jeff stared at the screen, his thoughts completely blank. Gradually, after a few minutes, everything came back into focus. Sarah had…her own place? Did she….OWN it?? She was totally on her own?? She was truly an adult. She had two, maybe three or four jobs? She paid for everything. Jeff had no job. He paid for nothing. His parents paid for everything. Her body…the contrast was too much to handle, and he went for his only option: whiskey.

An hour later, a phone call from his mother put a temporary stop to his binge. His parents had received an email as well about his condition, since Jeff always put down their contact information (sometimes in addition to his own, sometimes not) on any forms he was filling out, since they paid for everything and also since he didn’t have time to deal with a lot of nonsense.

His parents were grave over dinner that night, and Jeff noticed with annoyance that something dramatic had apparently happened. His parents, usually kind to a fault, were all business tonight.

“Jeff,” his mom began, “First thing’s first. You’re going to have this surgery.”

He looked at her in frustration and then simply huffed over his pasta and meatballs without saying anything.

“This explains why you’ve been in pain for so long,” his mother continued deliberately, “and probably why you’ve frankly been wasting away.” She gestured to his seated form, which sat cross-legged at the table.

Jeff rolled his eyes. “Mom, I’m not…wasting away at all, I just haven’t —”

“You are Jeff,” interrupted his mother firmly, “and what’s more, your lifestyle is what’s caused this condition. It says alcoholism is a risk factor, and you definitely drink too much, Jeff. You drink too much, you smoke too much, you don’t get good sleep, you’re not actively engaged in anything, and it’s made you start to crumble, on the inside and the outside.” Her voice quivered with emotion as she spoke, but her resolution never faltered.

Jeff looked around at anything but his parents, and decided to laugh. “Oh come on,” he said casually, trying to lighten the mood, “Can’t I be allowed some time to think and decide what I need to do? The world is a pretty messed up place, and I really need the — ”

“It’s been years, Jeff,” his mother interrupted again. “Years. You had a job a while back. You got fired from that job, for drinking, as I recall. And since then you’ve done nothing except drink and smoke weed and hang out with that pitiful John person. You don’t even play drums anymore. What has your life become?”

Jeff sat there with a silly grin on his face, unable to comprehend why his parents were being so serious all of the sudden. His mother turned to his father.

“Do you have anything to add, Carl?” Carl shook his head, staring at Jeff with his arms folded and a darkened expression furrowing his brow.

“Well, that’s pretty much it, then,” his mother continued. “This “avascular necrosis” condition has really hit home some important realities for us, Jeff. Your father and I have decided that you will move in with us. This surgery will be hard, and you will need time to recover. We want to provide a safe place for that, a place where you won’t be drinking and smoking. We’re going to help you start a rehab program for your drinking. And we’ll continue to provide you with love and support, with a roof over your head and good food to eat, through this whole process. The only condition is that you live here with us.”

Jeff was angry now. “Rehab?!? Are you fucking kidding me?” he burst out in a whine. “There’s nothing wrong with my drinking! Do you understand the thoughts I have under the influence of alcohol?? They’re deep thoughts, and they’re real, and they help me become a…a deeper person who appreciates…beauty more! And as for rehab — ”

“Jeff,” his father’s voice calmly cut in. “This is not up for discussion. Jen and I both love you very much, and we hate to see you angry like this, but as of tonight we’re cutting off your money. We can’t keep allowing you to live this self-destructive lifestyle that messes up your brain and makes your bones decay.”

Jeff got up from the table and slowly backed away. “This can’t be happening,” he said shakily as he backed up. “You guys can’t be…be serious about this. I’m a…I’m a man! A man needs his own space!” He noticed with sudden horror the arms of his mother folded in her lap, and how her legs filled the chair in which she sat. His mother wasn’t tall or robust by any means! And yet he noticed her stable wrists and sturdy arms, and strong hips that filled out her pants. An image of Sarah’s swaggering ass flashed in his mind, along with her long fingers tearing off a piece of paper as she looked down kindly at him. He shook his head desperately, unable to get rid of these thoughts, as he felt blood trickle decisively into his cock.

“You all are crazy!” Jeff managed as he backed his way to the front door. “You’re…you’re out of your minds!” He closed the door shut and got into his car and drove to the nearest liquor store as fast as he could, hoping that his parents hadn’t already cut off his money. He was relieved to buy a pint of cheap whiskey, and on his way home, he checked his account balance for good measure. $3.85. Enough for a coffee. He sighed. He knew that he was going to move in with his parents. What else was he supposed to do, get a job? In this messed up system? Also (he realized as he walked into his room with the whiskey) it’s free food. And his mom was a great cook. Not a bad gig, when you really thought about it. Jeff had pushed his mother’s words about his body and his lifestyle out of his mind. But he had bought this whiskey because Sarah Helleger existed in the world, and somehow she had cast a spell over his mind. He hated it; it made him feel crazy, helpless, controlled. And he was not going to be controlled. He opened the bottle and got drinking.

A few hours later, sloppy drunk, he finally did what he had been thinking about for weeks. He fumbled over to his nightstand, picked up the piece of paper with Sarah’s number, and called it. It was 1:22 am, on an early Tuesday morning. The ringtone rang one, two, three, four times, and then…Sarah’s chipper voice, but somehow deeper. Was that her real voice? As drunk as he was, Jeff could still see her talking:

“Hello, you’ve reached Sarah Helleger. I’m not able to come to the phone right now, but leave your name and number and I’ll call you back as soon as I can. Thank you!”

“Uh…hi..S-ssSarah…Sarah it’s me!! Jeff…uhuh..Jefffff Stintum. Ahhhha wwwellll, I was just umm, just ummmm…calling you to say — uh, what’s going on Sarah?? Huh?! I mean, uh…..uh how’ve ya been?!? Do you likkke, uh…..do you like, uhhh, like go on DATES with other people?!?! Hahahahaha!! Right?!? I mean like dudezz who go withh you, out with you…Do they have like BIG dicksss?? Hahahaha!!! Cause I do!!! Hahahahahaha!! I really, really doooo!! I thinkkk you’d be pretttyyyy impre — pretty impresssssed by it. Oh my goddddd too funny! Ahaha!! Do you date, like black dudes, Sarah??!? Sarah!!! I mean like maybeee you date girlssss toooo, no one’s judging not me I mean oh woooowww that would be hot!!! Ho Ho man!!! But black….black guys…um…uh….I’m trying to bite off this fingernail…thumbnail…uh, Sarah??!? Sarah!!! I think you did something to me Sarah!!!! What did you do to me!!?!? Oh fuck, I fell down…..Hahahahahaha!!! Well, that’s…that’s all I have, Sarah!!! Do you want to hang out let’s hang out. Be the adult you want to see…to see in the world!!! That’s the advice from me, and keep it easy, man…eeeasssyyyy…plus, Sarah — ”

And it was here that Jeff’s message was cut off, due to time length. Jeff laughed and put his phone down and promptly passed out on his floor.

The next morning, at 11 am, Jeff woke up with a carpet design imprinted into his face, and a splitting pain in his head. He lay awake with his eyes closed for a few moments, and then a sudden blaze tore through his brain: he had called Sarah last night!! He had left her a message!!!! What had he said???? Had she replied??? He caught up his phone in a flash and opened it and looked at his messages. One from Sarah Helleger. It read:

“Hi Jeff. Sure I’d like to hang out. How does this afternoon work for you?”



Chapter 5: Coffee, Part 1

Jeff was pretty sure he had thought everything through as he drove intown to the coffee shop that Sarah had suggested. He had strained his mind back to the night before, trying to recall his words, his tone…anything he had conveyed to Sarah in that message he left for her. Jeff couldn’t remember much, but one thing was for certain: he knew he had not talked about all the weird thoughts he had been having about their disparity in size. What a relief, he thought. That would have been super awkward to explain. Disrespectful, really. At least he had his pride intact. He sighed in relief as he reassured himself once again. This cycle of worry and reassurance had dominated his day ever since he had read Sarah’s first. There had been no consistency in anything Jeff had done to prepare…he had thrown some clothes on without thinking, yet taken great care to shave the (very thin) stubble on his face. He hadn’t bothered to take a shower, yet he had put on his best cologne. On a mad whim he had retrieved Sarah’s hair tie and stuffed it in his pocket, yet he had successfully managed to forget about it.

The coffee shop was a cute little boutique place tucked away in one of the quiet, wooded neighborhoods of the big city. Jeff couldn’t help but shake his head as he walked up to it after parking. It was painted a deep purple, and interspersed with little moons and stars. There was even a little book cart outside that sold a variety of books for $1 each. ‘Yeah,’ thought Jeff as he opened the door to go inside (and the bell attached to the door gave a little ring), ‘this place probably charges like $5 for a coffee. All fancy-pants, woo-woo shit. What did Sarah have against Starbucks?’

Jeff would’ve kept his thoughts coming, but he had just spotted Sarah. Any feelings of reassurance, of security, of confidence he had managed to build up vanished instantly. She was sitting at a small table in one of the corners of the one-room shop. Her cascade of blond hair made her impossible to miss, as did her…size. Jeff immediately went weak in the knees and stood rooted to the spot near the door. He had subconsciously worked his way up to promising himself that he would totally ignore any freaky thoughts he had about all the size shit that had invaded his brain the past few weeks. But one look at Sarah and every promise was broken. She wore skin-tight jeans that left nothing in her legs, hips, or ass to the imagination — she positively filled the seat she was sitting in, and some of her butt and hips even extended over the sides. She rose over the table imperiously; she wore a brilliantly red, short-sleeve top which fit her form and showed her long, full white arms and displayed her breasts…her breasts…Jeff felt his mouth go utterly dry. He had not realized she was that developed; her scrubs must have hid them when he saw her in the hospital. He could see that she was still wearing all the accoutrements on her arms, as she had them splayed out against the table…her bracelets and her watch, which all made her look so…so adult. And Jeff truly lost his breath when he saw that she was wearing black calf-high boots. Boots! He couldn’t believe it. It looked like they were the kind of boots with a heel too. He couldn’t look anymore. He broke his eyes away from Sarah as he fixed his stare on a particular corner of an ornate bookshelf.

What was going on? It was like he had no control, absolutely no option other than to notice everything about her, to take in as much as he could possibly take. Why couldn’t he just approach her like he did with everybody else — with that calm, confident, casual, don’t-really-care mentality? There was really something going on. He looked back at her. She was facing the door, but she seemed to be attentively typing on her laptop. Jeff also noticed that she had a book splayed in her lap, which she was now consulting. She had her earbuds in, and her head was nodding subtly in a rhythmic manner, so she must have been listening to music.

“Can I help you, sir?” Jeff was jolted away from his thoughts. The barista was at the counter, looking at him expectantly. Jeff darted his eyes once more over to Sarah. She still didn’t appear to realize he was there.

“Yes…uh, yes,” said Jeff, hurriedly limping his way to the counter. He scanned the menu above the counter, which was painted in colored chalk. “I’ll have…uh…I’ll have the, the, oh what the heck, the latte.” Jeff wasn’t exactly sure what a “latte” was, but it sounded fancy enough. Maybe Sarah would be impressed.

“Ok, sir,” said the barista, smiling, “That’ll be $4.35.” Jeff handed her his debit card, and then realized right after she swiped it that he didn’t have enough for the drink. Didn’t he only have like 3-something dollars left? ‘Oh well,’ he thought, ‘it’ll probably still go through, and I might overdraft but that’s fine, whatever, my parents and I can deal with that later…’

“Sorry, sir,” said the barista, staring at the computer screen with a concerned look on her face, “it seems like this card isn’t going through. Do you have another one? Or cash, maybe?”

“Uh…uh,” Jeff fumbled, growing increasingly red and flustered. He looked over at Sarah, who still seemed preoccupied with her work. He looked back over to the barista, who was looking at him sweetly with her eyebrows slightly raised in gentle concern. She was young, Jeff realized…auburn hair, cute face, and he was looking up at her. If he looked at her straight he would be looking straight into the middle of her neck. He shook his head, trying to chase away these thoughts.

“I’ll just uh, get the 12-ounce drip coffee,” he said quietly. The barista eyed him for a moment, unsure if he appreciated that his card didn’t seem to be working. But then she smiled at him and nodded and said “That’ll be $2.78…same card?”

Jeff nodded, and was relieved to see it go through. The barista got his coffee and handed it to him with another friendly smile, and now he was left to approach Sarah’s table. His heart began beating quickly. He became painfully self-conscious of his skinny legs that stuck out of his long shorts; was Sarah going to look down on him for ordering such a boring coffee? This shirt that he was wearing really was hanging loosely on him…how would it fit Sarah? What had he actually said in that message? Was Sarah going to hate him? But she had invited him to get coffee, right? What was it going to be like when she stood up in those boots? He could make sure they don’t stand next to each other. She had her own place. Could they go back there, maybe? The hair tie! Would she want it back?? He stood in front of her table. Her head came up to his chest. It was still beating gently in time to her music as she focused intently on her screen, typing. She fetched the book off her lap and marked a little note in it with her pencil. The bracelets clinked on her arms. Jeff continued to stand there with his coffee, unable to do anything else. She kept working, and he kept waiting.

Finally, after a couple minutes, Jeff managed to step forward and put his cup of coffee down on the table. Sarah immediately looked up and smiled at him, taking her earbuds out and closing her book and laptop.

“Hey!” she said merrily.

“Hey,” said Jeff, still fixed to his spot and unable to offer any emotion or feeling. He also couldn’t blink. He wondered when Sarah was going to stand up and give him another one of her hugs.

A couple moments passed, and Sarah laughed. “Well have a seat, Jeff!” He did, almost spilling his coffee in the process. When he sat down he realized how small the table actually was, or at least how small Sarah made it seem. Her arms took up well over half of the table, and she seemed to realize this, moving them back a bit to the middle. Sitting down, his butt felt tiny in the seat that Sarah so effortlessly filled, and he realized that his eyes were even with the bottom of her neck. He shut his eyes, overwhelmed.

“Hmm, let’s see, what did you get?” asked Sarah, leaning over the table to look in to his cup. “Oh! A black coffee. Black as night. No fuss or frills with your coffee, huh? I like it.”

Jeff opened his eyes. “Yeah, um. Yeah, I just like it mainly straight. Just the shot of caffeine is all that really counts, right?” He was doing it; he was having a conversation with Sarah Helleger. His confidence began to swell.

Sarah laughed and reached up a hand to flip her hair slightly. “Haha, yep! It’s one of the many pleasures in life.” She then leaned in forward on her arms, looking down into his eyes. “So tell me, what’s been going on in the life of Mr. Jeff Stintum? What’re you up to these days?”

Jeff made sure to take a nice long sip of his coffee before he started. Sarah waited patiently, her eyes hovering on him with interest. He had leaned back into his chair, so he wasn’t so close to her body. “Well, he said deliberately, “it’s a complicated thing, life. Sometimes you think you’re doing one thing and then you just end up doing another. Sometimes you have this one project but — damn it, something else comes up and you just gotta go after it, you know?”

Sarah nodded her head kindly. Jeff continued: “I mean, life is a crazy thing, you know! Right?” Sarah nodded again, saying gently, “It sure is.” Jeff felt his courage rise still more. “And, you know, there’s a lot of problems in the world. A lot of things wrong. And, well, I just feel that I can’t just sit around anymore and support the system.”

“The system,” said Sarah quietly. She raised up an arm and held her chin in thought as she looked at Jeff, furrowing her brow. “Hmmm, that’s interesting, Jeff. What do you mean by “the system”?”

“Everything!” said Jeff excitedly. He was so glad Sarah was asking him about his work. “Just…everything that happens. The rules we all live under. The uh…narratives that we are fed by the people in charge. It’s all just a big lie. A big smokescreen.”

“Uh huh,” said Sarah. She put her arm down and leaned in again. Jeff realized that, in his excitement, he had also leaned in, and their arms were right next to each other on the table. In a moment which temporarily froze his mind, he saw the clarity, the ridiculousness, the absurdity of their contrast. Her arms were so smooth and solid, from her wrist all the way up, and his were just skin and bone…surely with much smaller bones. Good lord her wrist had to be as big as his upper arm…bigger. Could it really be that her arms were…were as big as his legs? Sarah Helleger? His little neighbor? But all this was in a moment, and Jeff recovered. He was on a role.

“And,” he continued, “and the worst thing is, everyone walking around with their heads in the sand, and they have no idea. All they see is the smokescreen. They don’t see the truth.”

“The truth?” asked Sarah, raising her eyebrows. “Wow, this is so interesting, Jeff. What’s the truth?” Her questions were so innocent, Jeff realized, so much so that they were beginning to annoy him. She didn’t really seem to be grasping the gravity of the whole situation.

“What’s the truth?” he laughed a little and took another long sip of his coffee. Sarah again waited patiently, not taking her eyes off him. Jeff noticed with a bit of latent fear that her eyes were beginning to travel across his body, eying his torso, his limbs, his legs.

“The truth…the truth,” he said at last. Sarah eyes flashed back up to his face. She had been fixated on his wrists. “Where do I start…where do I start?” Jeff had no idea where to start. So he said, “Well, how about we just say that everything isn’t as it seems. Am I right?”

“You’re definitely right, Jeff,” said Sarah quietly. “Lots of things aren’t what they seem.” Jeff nodded vigorously as he drank more of his coffee. Sarah sighed a little and then extended her fingers out together, cracking them. The popping sounds made him jump, and Sarah laughed a little.

“Haha, sorry Jeff, I just can’t help it sometimes, it’s like a little tic, you know?”

Jeff nodded and for some reason decided to try and crack his own fingers — they cracked, but they barely made any sound. The conversation had dulled, and Jeff had no idea what to do.

“So you still play drums sometimes!” said Sarah. “That’s cool. I actually go to some shows myself. Fun times! You’ve been playing since you were a teenager, right?”

“Right,” said Jeff, failing to mention that he hadn’t played his drums in months.

“I’ve often wondered what playing drums does to your hands,” said Sarah. “Like, how calloused they get and everything. You’ve been playing for years — I’m curious. Do you mind?” She already had her hands ready and Jeff could not shake his head “no” even though he wanted to. He was afraid of what she’d find. She reached out her hands and took his right hand in her grip, flipped it over, and began examining his palm. Jeff had to shut his mouth to keep from making a loud exhale, and he felt the unmistakable glut of blood making its inevitable way into his cock. Her hands were unbelievably huge compared to his. And warm. And…strong. The way her fingers moved his palm, turned his hand, pried around his fingers…it all hit home to Jeff the unmistakable power in her hands. And they were still — feminine. Her nails were long and painted the same red as her top. Her skin was soft. And yet, underneath she was strong, and effortlessly taking control of his hand.

“Wow, Jeff!” she laughed, “Your hands are as soft as a baby! No callouses at all! How do you do it? What kind of lotion do you use? I gotta know.”

Jeff knew that his hands were soft from all the lube he used on himself, not lotion. But he said, as casually as he could, “Oh you know, a touch of that here and there. Not really a big lotion user.”

Sarah laughed again. “Well, they sure feel nice.” And she lingered a bit more on his hand, examining it. Then without warning she wrapped her hand gently around his wrist and held his hand up. Then she put her other hand up to his, in a comparison. Jeff couldn’t believe it; she just…did it…casually. There was nothing he could do against it — his brain hardened in fear as he looked. Her fingers rose above his and her hand extended beyond his on all sides. It was ridiculous, absurd. His fingers only came halfway up to hers, which looked even longer with her long, sharp nails extending even more outward. Her palm dwarfed his, encompassed it almost cartoonishly. This girl was 7 years younger. And she was doing this comparison offhandedly, nonchalantly, as a kind of curiosity. Their eyes met and she squinted at him and smiled genially, and then she brought fingers down in a claw on top of his, to emphasize the size difference. She looked at Jeff again and smiled once more, and then she engulfed his hand in hers and gave it a little shake, which literally shook his whole arm, from his hand all the way to his shoulder. Then she released him and sat back, smiling at him. He sat in his chair, unable to speak.

“Well, wanna take our coffees and go on a little walk, Jeff?” she said.


Chapter 6: Coffee, Part 2

“Oh, but wait!” said Sarah, catching herself, “I almost forgot about your hip! I noticed you’re still limping — maybe a walk wouldn’t be the best thing right now. How is it feeling?”

Jeff had to snap back from the brain freeze of Sarah’s easygoing, spontaneous hand comparison, but he managed to say, “Uhh…oh yeah! Yeah, my hip. Well….uh, not too good, actually.”

“Oh really?” Sarah looked concerned. “Have you gotten your results back from the x-ray?”

“Umm….yeah. They said I have this thing…this thing called, like, uhhh…macular acrosis or —”

“Avascular necrosis?” Sarah ventured.

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s it.”

Sarah blinked slowly and reached her hand over to Jeff’s arm and held it briefly. Jeff was too afraid to look down (but he felt the warm flesh of her hand and fingers extend across most of his skinny forearm), so with difficulty he kept eye contact with her. He noticed that her eyes were sea green.

“Aww Jeff, I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. It can be a nasty condition. Are you Stage 4?”

“Yeah,” said Jeff, and then he thought back to Sarah’s face examining his x-ray. “Did you…did you know already? Just from looking at my x-ray?”

Sarah sat back and sighed, swelling her diaphragm up and down. “I mean, that’s what it looked like to me. Dana thought it was some early-onset arthritis, but I thought there was just too much bone decay. To me, it looked more like avascular necrosis, but I didn’t want to believe it, because you know, you’re gonna have to get hip replacement surgery. And I really didn’t want to freak you out with a diagnosis that turned out to be incorrect.”

“Well, uhh…it’s pretty impressive that you got it right, though,” said Jeff, feeling able enough to continue on the conversation. “Is that what you’re training for? Bone stuff?”

Sarah laughed and looked at Jeff through her hair. “Orthopedics? Haha, yes, well that’s one thing I’m considering. I’m just fascinated by the human body, you know? We’re incredible organisms. For a while there in high school I was convinced I was gonna go into neurology, especially since there’s so much progress being made on degenerative brain diseases. But then I got super into hematology early in college and was kind of on that kick for a while; blood just seems pretty simple, right? Well, there’s actually tons more to it — and.…well anyway now I’m into my orthopedic phase, and I guess we’ll see where it goes from here!”

She laughed again, mostly at herself, and sat back in her chair. Jeff wasn’t really feeling able to comprehend all those words she had just used, but he felt like replying in a paternal way would remind himself that he was the older one here. “Well, just look at little ole Sarah! A full-fledged adult and on her way to medical school —”

“Fingers crossed!” interrupted Sarah, crossing her large fingers.

“Oh yes, fingers crossed on med school,” continued Jeff, choosing not to cross his own fingers. “I just…I just can’t believe it, Sarah. You’ve grown…up. Like, you’ve really grown up.”

“Yeah, I’m big now,” Sarah laughed, puffing herself up and sitting even taller in her seat. Jeff immediately regretted instigating this behavior, as he now felt even smaller as she loomed over him. He felt especially tiny knowing that, even as he was now sitting up as straight as he could, there was nothing he could do to match her. She was just more person. “For a little bit there in high school I hated my size, but now I like it.” She stretched her arms out over her head to emphasize just how far she could reach, and Jeff couldn’t help but gape at her figure. She saw him staring and put down her arms, laughing.

“I hope you don’t mind me holding your hand like that, Jeff. Or stretching in front of you like this. I just feel comfortable around you. You were always so…so nice to me as a kid. And you would help me. Like remember when that mean boy took my bow and arrow?”

Jeff could not for the life of him recall this incident, especially now, but he said, “Oh, yeah! Yeah, the bow and arrow.”

“You made him give it back to me,” said Sarah. “You said that no one could mess with me because I was under your protection. And it was true — I felt safe that day. You were so sweet.” Sarah clearly meant her words in earnest, but even as she inclined her head to the side and looked down at him with her big affectionate eyes, Jeff could not avoid the thought that everything she was talking about was far, far away in the past.

“And now I’m all grown up!” said Sarah, laughing as she gestured both hands to her tremendous body. “Now I can protect YOU!” She said these last words playfully at Jeff, reaching one of her fingers and poking him gently in the chest. Even this simple motion from her caused Jeff to steady himself in his seat against the pressure from her finger.
Sarah saw immediately that he did not know what to make of her lighthearted jests, so she sat back again and decided to change the subject.

“So, Jeff…you’ve been playing the drums…you’ve been standing up to the system…basically, you’re not conforming, right? That’s great!” Sarah smiled at him genuinely, and Jeff felt himself drop, afraid of what was coming next. “What else have you been doing? C’mon Jeff, tell me about your music! Have you gone on tour anywhere? What else do you do besides music? Where do you work? Or is music like your full-time job?” Sarah caught herself and smiled apologetically at Jeff, laughing as she took up his hands in hers and squeezed quickly and put them back down. Jeff looked down at the color slowly creeping back into his palms — she had squeezed the blood out of them. “I’m sorry Jeff, so many questions, I know! I just wanna know what’s been happening with you!”

Jeff rubbed his hands and tried once again to paint an accurate picture of his life for Sarah, a picture that depicted him as he saw himself. Every attempt, however, sounded bad when he said it out loud.

“Well, the music is good,” he began, easily enough. “And you know…well, yeah I’ve played some shows around town. With some of my, uh, bandmates. My music…yeah…but, uh, we haven’t really played any tours yet. Our, uh…experimental style is...well, uh...hard for some people to handle.”

Sarah looked at him and nodded graciously. She then sat expectantly, and Jeff realized that she really was awaiting more of a response. So he tried to give her one. “And well, aside from all that, I uh…write some stories.”

“Oooh stories!” said Sarah excitedly. “About what? Gotten any published yet?”

“Umm…no, not yet. My style is pretty….”

“Experimental?” Sarah offered, grinning. Jeff had no idea if she was mocking him or not, but he was distracted by her gorgeous face wreathed in her golden hair, and the sound of her fingers beating lightly on the table. Her rings made gentle rapping sounds, and Jeff was once again drawn to the immensity of everything she did. Even when she just moved her fingers, his world seemed to shake.

“Yeah. Umm, and I also…uh, I’ve tried some sculpting…some stuff with….clay.” He couldn’t say any more. There was nothing left to say. Everything else was just drinking, smoking, tying to fuck random girls, and then jacking off on the internet to what he couldn’t get in real life. He felt himself crumble before Sarah, and he bowed his head in shame.

Warm, strong fingers tenderly grasped his chin, and he felt light pressure incline his head upward to meet Sarah’s eyes. She was looking down a good many inches into his, and for a moment Jeff saw her face completely expressionless — she was just looking at him. The next moment, though, she smiled again at him kindly and spoke down to him playfully.

“Oooohh I see! You’re an artist, Jeff! You create things! Music, stories, sculptures…you’re a regular renaissance man!” She let him go and sat back again, seeming to Jeff to bask in her luxury.

“Yeah…yeah, I’m an artist,” he said as if he were realizing it for the first time.

“Well, I’d love to hear your music sometime! And read your stories and see your sculptures! I don’t really know many artists right now. Just stuffy old scientists, haha! Just kidding, I love my friends, but still — send me some of your stuff!”

It occurred to Jeff that the longer they talked about him, the sooner Sarah would realize that he had done nothing with his life. He did something that seemed to him drastic and crazy — he changed the subject. ‘And smoothly too,’ he proudly thought to himself as he stared hard at a small divot in the table in front of Sarah. He could not hold eye contact with her for more than a second without starting to panic, and (as he hadn’t even realized) without getting hard.

“Oh, well…I’d love to, Sarah! But enough about me — how about you? Your…uh parents tell me that you have a place of your own.”

“What?? You talked to my parents??” Sarah laughed. “When??”

“Um…I, uh, I sent…uh, I sent them an email a few weeks ago. I mentioned that I ran into you in the hospital, and they uh, told me what was going on with your, uh, stuff.”

“Aww, that’s so sweet of you, Jeff, emailing my parents!” Sarah laughed. “Those silly beans; they didn’t even tell me you’d contacted them. Although I guess I am pretty busy these days…oh well, here we are, right? So I guess you know all about my life, then, huh?”

“I…uh,” stammered Jeff, focusing on the divot. “I…know you have your own place.”

“Sure do!” said Sarah proudly, ridiculing herself in mock-self importance by sitting up tall in her chair and putting her hands on her hips. Her bracelets jangled, her weight shifted, her hair jumped around her face, and Jeff was sure he heard the chair groan a little. How much did she weigh? “Mom and Dad didn’t even need to help me with it. Hard work, grit, and some luck will go a long way, right?”

“Right…um..and they also said you were famous in your field or something.”

Sarah really laughed hard this time, even snorting a bit. “Fam — haha, what?? Famous?!? My parents are out of their minds!! I’m not famous at all — I’ve only just started working with all these professional people, and let me tell you, Jeff, I have a lot to learn. Ha! My god, my parents are silly. I co-write a few articles that get published and they totally lose their shit.”

And here Sarah stopped for a moment, because Jeff had blinked and visibly jolted a little bit when she said “shit.” She discerned his reaction and slowly, ironically raised her eyebrows as a sly grin crept across her face. The right side of her cheek suddenly jutted out a good ways, and Jeff realized that she had thrust her tongue into it.

“Oooo yeah, that’s right,” said Sarah, nodding slowly down at Jeff as her tongue worked in her cheek and her eyebrows went up and down her forehead. “I don’t just look like an adult — I TALK like an adult now.” A few seconds later she broke her act and descended into laughter. Jeff made his best attempt to laugh with her, but could only manage vague croaking sounds as the color burned in his face and his erection (which he now absolutely noticed) strained in his pants.

“Well, enough of that,” said Sarah, her giggles dying down. “Where’re you staying these days, Jeff?”

He had no energy to invent some kind of story; he had nothing left. “I’m uh, staying with my parents right now.”

“Oh yeah? Cool stuff.” Sarah had begun fishing around in her purse, which gave Jeff time enough to at least explain his situation a little more.

“Uh…we thought it’d be better that way, you know…because I have that surgery coming up.”

“Oh yes, Jeff, your surgery!!” Sarah had found her phone and stopped looking in her bag. She turned her full attention to Jeff, her eyes compassionate and…something else. Determined? Jeff was not in the habit of looking at people the way he found himself looking at Sarah, and this novelty of analysis had already left him exhausted to his core.

“Jeff, I want to help you through this process. I mean, how lucky, that I was the one who took your x-ray!”

“Yes,” managed Jeff, whose mouth and throat had gone dry.

Sarah leaned in further on her crossed arms, and Jeff saw their firm bulk widen as she put her weight on them. Her long fingers were randomly playing with each other and tugging on the bracelets and hair ties around her arms. “Yeah. There’s no reason to worry about this procedure. They don’t even cut through your quadricep — they actually pry your muscles apart and go straight at the ball of the femur. It’s a really interesting procedure; I can tell you all about it later.”

“Th-thanks,” said Jeff simply. He was able to raise his head to meet her eyes. Sea green…..Sarah looked at him for a moment longer, and then smiled as she broke away.

“Well, this has been lovely, Jeff. Unfortunately I’ve gotta run, though. I have a meeting with a colleague about some research he’s doing.” She was packing her things away, and had already stood up. Jeff put his hands in his lap as he braced to stand up, and he suddenly felt the hair tie in his pocket. He acted quickly, grabbing it and standing up so that he faced her. His arm stretched out, his hand offering the hair tie back.

“Www-wait, wait Sarah! Don’t leave without this!” Sarah looked at the hair tie in his outstretched hand and paused a moment, confused. In this moment Jeff realized the situation. Sarah was towering in front of him, standing wide-legged in her calf-high black boots and her skin-tight jeans and bold red top barely managing to restrain her luscious curves. Her thighs, her hips, her arms…they didn’t didn’t seem possible to Jeff. And the effortlessness with which she stood. And here he was, holding out a hair tie to her with a shaking hand. He felt like a frightened child.

“Um, what’s this, Jeff?” Sarah turned casually and made a step towards him. He could see that Sarah was even taller than he remembered. He was afraid to look up long enough to see, but he fought through and did it anyway and looked straight ahead. Into her breasts. Her lower breasts. He couldn’t stand there like this any longer. He looked up at her desperately, up her chest and into her face.

“It’s that hair tie you gave me at the hospital. The one you used to…to help —”

Sarah’s mouth had dropped open as her face reacted in adoring surprise. “Oh THAT’S what it is?!?! Oh my god, Jeff, you’re just…you’re just the cutest little thing!”

She bent down and hugged Jeff, cracking his bones. As she ascended again she gave him a little kiss on the cheek for good measure. She rose and rose up until she was standing tall in front of him, and the two shared a moment, him looking sheepishly up at her, and her looking down amused at him.

“It’s wonderful to see you again, Jeff,” said Sarah quietly, breaking the silence but not her steady eye contact. She jostled her body a bit, as if to emphasize her size. Jeff saw her hips, legs, and ass wobble slightly with her motion. “I know it’s probably pretty crazy to see me all grown up like this, especially, well…anyway, just know that it’s still me, Jeff. It’s just me — I’m that same little girl who was riding around on her bike, shooting bows and arrows, exploring the world. I’m just…really tall now.” She put her hands playfully on her hips and moved them in a fluid motion from side to side as she added, laughing, “And big in all the right places. But really, Jeff, I’ll hit you up sometime soon — I’ll have you over to my place and we can hang out some more. Please send me some of your stories, and I wanna hear your music and see your sculptures too!” She bent down again and gave him one last hug, and turned to leave.

Jeff just stood there, the hair tie in his hand. Sarah looked back as she pivoted, remembered, and reached down, snatching it up happily from his hand. “Well thank you sir! Till next time!” she said in mock formality, snapping it back on her wrist, where it fit tightly. Jeff’s breath caught in his throat, realizing the reality of her size as he watched her walk out of the coffee shop, her legs long confidant pillars, her ass and hips working like they were grinding pepper.