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frice2000 · 02-08-2012

Nice addition, still as almost always in your stories wish there was more successful resistance to the corruption. Like one or two falling, but one succeeding in tossing off the mental domination aspect and showing that characters struggle against what her dual psyche would want in a more prolonged fashion would be nice. Regardless though, nice transformation and there was some nice characterization considering how short the piece was. Nice transformation scenes as well. Overall a solid addition to your growing collection of stories. Just wish the transformational aspect was less your focus then the story and characters after it, but then I'm probably in the minority on this site in asking for that.

02-08-2012	#90
frice2000 "My way of thanking you" Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 401	Re: Amahain's Stories Nice addition, still as almost always in your stories wish there was more successful resistance to the corruption. Like one or two falling, but one succeeding in tossing off the mental domination aspect and showing that characters struggle against what her dual psyche would want in a more prolonged fashion would be nice. Regardless though, nice transformation and there was some nice characterization considering how short the piece was. Nice transformation scenes as well. Overall a solid addition to your growing collection of stories. Just wish the transformational aspect was less your focus then the story and characters after it, but then I'm probably in the minority on this site in asking for that.