Well that's what I said! Quit agreeing with me!
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The idea of sexual identities is a fairly new one, and is generally a self-generated way to define oneself. Sexual behavior may or may not have any bearing on sexual identities...Though these actions are pretty clearly scientifically defined as homosexual, they may not have any bearing on what one thinks of oneself as.
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But you have to recall, what others perceive is a very important part of identity. Though individuals may create and support their identity, they often incorporate external input as to what that identity should be. Basically, society teaches you what is or is not to be considered a gay identity. I think the problem we're having here is that homosexuality is a scientific term for being attracted to or doing it with men. Being a homosexual in the social sense is a set of expected behaviors and stereotypes. They get mixed up sometimes.