free hit counters
The Process Forum - View Single Post - New Story "Take It All In" by Clovis
View Single Post
Unread 10-01-2017   #36
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 4
Re: New Story "Take It All In" by Clovis

Hey Clovis!

I wouldn't sweat criticism of your characters in PWAFD. I think they're fantastic. They're part of the reason I kept coming back to them. Sure they were archetypes, but as a casual reader, that's kind of what I'm looking for. I've read it plenty of times over the years - and I hope this isn't insulting - I can't recall the characters' names. But I do remember the small girl who hopes to be larger. The gifted feminist who doesn't practice what she preaches (and the fun dynamic between her and the smaller girl). The reveal of the busty girl who is haunted by it - and then gains further. The double twist at the end. And the way you described the sense of .. destiny? Completeness? Absolute-ness? I don't know the word. I'm sure you do. But the end where the 'winner' looks upon her bounty is beautifully described.

Thoughts on this story:

I'm glad you have the opportunity in this longform story to flesh out characters. Personally, I'm not a fan of the descriptions of Etna; not my kink, and I come to erotic fiction to - come. But I don't mind it, it sets a fun adversarialness that is enjoyable. I really like the role she plays in the story. She occupies the space in my mind that Anne Wilkes did in Misery.

My favorite bit of these kinds of stories is the.. I don't know how do describe it, but this quote-

Dawn looked down sheepishly as she admitted, “Running may not be my thing anymore.”

-kind of encompasses it. The impediment that comes with such a bounty is so much fun. The busty-girl-who-yearns-for-less-and-gets-more is my favorite bit of PWAFD.

As such, Holly is my favorite player in this story. Her character arc is so great. Her self-consciousness turned sort of Disney-eyed hopefulness that she'll be worthy in a new super-bombshell body is mesmerizing. Her gaining confidence and realizing her sexual power is such a delight.

Please write more. And thank you so much.
spenguin is offline   Reply With Quote