[qzar9999]

Okay, so. First of all, let me commend you on making it over the big hurdle: your story isn't chock-full of spelling errors and run-on sentences. I've seen way too many first-timers post barely coherent walls of text. So congrats on getting the basics down early. Now:

+ Not a bad concept, especially for just starting out.
+ Decent descriptions of the changes as she's shrinking.

- Needs work on the grammar. Among other things, you started in past tense and switched to present. I'll tell you straight up that past tense is usually best, especially when you're first starting out. Present is harder to write and often doesn't sound as good.
- Some of the sentences don't really "flow," if you get me. There are places where the story sentences or the dialogue sound kind of stilted.

It's a promising first story. Keep working on your craft.