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Unread 08-17-2016   #19
sadmanofshadows
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: The pacific north west
Posts: 243
Re: New Story "Take It All In" by Clovis

Hi Clovis!
I really like your story. Your growth description is delightful and one of the reasons I can't get enough of your story.
I don't know if it's just me (a likely thing cause I can get details crossed in my head) But my only issue is... and now I can't find the word. Scaling? Relative size to the things around her? You've done a lovely job of telling us every detail of her growth, but I guess I'm confused as to how big she is. Maybe compared to the girls around her? How big is Etna? In both height and size? I know you gave us a description and if I'm the only one who's lost I apologize but that is the only detail I'm unsure of. Is Dawn growing in height as well or just girth?
All the same, I love how detailed you characters are! Their backstories, reasons, and attitudes are all amazing.
I look forward to reading the next chapter!
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