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Originally Posted by TF-Viewer
Very nice.
I did find one tiny mistake in the perspective though.
Accidentally went to first person for one sentence. That one slip aside a very enjoyable read.  |
Crap. Went through it a few times hoping I didn't do that and still let one slip.
Overall I feel it's okay but I didn't spend enough time on descriptions or dialogue. It was more or less a test run to see how much I could get done in about an hour and a half. I'll definitely flesh things out in the future, maybe even rewrite this one some day.
Appreciate the good words. Any advice?