[godleydemon]

Originally Posted by Mytransformations

Trophy Cougar Wife (AP, WG, AR)

Sherry is a trophy wife - a young little thing married to a rich older gentleman. But she has a resentful stepdaughter to deal with, and she feels unfulfilled compared to her successful husband. If only the roles in their relationship could be reversed...

Trophy Cougar Wife is an erotic age progressions story that also includes weight gain and male age regression. It is about 7,000 words long. It's going to be FREE for five days: April 18-22. So get it free while you can!


Here's an excerpt:
“So, Sherry, how’s the studying going?” my stepdaughter Megan asked me.

“It’s going just fine,” I replied, not raising my eyes from my textbook. “I’ll be happy to help you with your homework when I’m done.”

“Sounds great!” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “We can stay up late, have a slumber party, talk about our crushes! Oh, wait! I already know yours: You’ve got a crush on my Dad, right?”

“Listen, Megan, I know you’re not comfortable calling me ‘Mom,’ yet, and I can understand this is difficult for you,” I began, trying to be conciliatory.

“Difficult doesn't begin to describe it,” Megan said. “I’m 16 and you’re a 22-year-old gold digger, married to my 50-year-old father!”

I slammed my textbook shut after letting out a long sigh.

“I don’t know how many times I have to say this: I didn't marry Charles for his money,” I said. “I really love him. I signed a prenup. Doesn't that mean anything to you?”

“No, it doesn't,” said Megan, smacking her lips and giving me a glacial stare. “You’re still just another trophy wife.”

I sighed, and reached over to my snack platter to grab a handful of celery and bell peppers, and washed it down with a glass of coconut water, my favorite drink.

“Got anything real to eat in this house?” Megan asked.

“This is real food,” I said defensively. “I’m just trying to lose five pounds, OK?”

I knew I was already thin, but one could never be too careful about ballooning up.

“Whatever,” Megan said.

She was by no means heavy, but she certainly didn’t starve herself to stay slender like I did. Just as well, I thought. She didn’t have a man to please.

So I went through and read the entire story and you may hate me for this, but I honestly didn't like it. There is absolutely no process, just after the fact observations without anyone being aware of the changes, so there is a simple reality change with each passing day making it to where no one knows what's happened. Part of this sub genre of process is 1. The process itself, and 2. The reaction of the process. Without these two elements, it seems to make the story slightly boring and disappointing.

I do have to say though, you have impeccable writing and pretty good grammar skills. I think you do have a future in this sub genre, but I don't think you know enough about it yet to write stories for money.

Now I'm going to offer some advice, even though I'm sure by now it's not wanted, but I really want to see more contributors to this genre. I want you to write some free short stories focusing on process and reactions and I want you to develop the characters more in a meaningful way. Once you get a knack for what this genre of fetishist are looking for, your going to get more sales, great reviews and more constructive crit. The only crit I can honestly offer at the moment though is: If your going to put reality change into your story, you need an outside prospective to know what's really happening. Putting it into the first person perspective of your transformee, doesn't really lend to the satisfaction of whats going on.

I want you to imagine something for a second as an exercise, change the names of your characters in each chapter. Essentially what has happened is now it's no longer an AR/AP story. It's just several stories about different characters of varying age groups. Without an outside perspective to tie together the various chapters, you no longer have a story, you just have several separate stories.

Hope I didn't upset you, just trying to offer some advice/constructive crit and keep writing and hang in there