[frice2000]

Originally Posted by Mindi Flyth

There are other witches and warlocks out there, but they're not too common and they try to keep it underground.

That's very strange. You established a magic/herb shop that obviously has ingredients for spells some of the magic users need. Could you not happen to come across legit magic users simply by hanging around there? Even little flyers with legit spells written in them that only those who know what they're doing could translate would pretty easily help you find others.

his gender than it would be for some people who don't identify as transgender. (I'm assuming you don't, but please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.)

By the end of the story Joe considers himself a grown man and a young girl, simultaneously. He is not completely one or the other, and he is OK with that. That comfortable flip back and forth we see, of Joe acting like a girl or a grown man as it suits him, seems like a healthy development to me. When Joe tells Coach Mungo he is not a "normal" little girl and he calls himself transgender, he is telling the truth. He is an adult/child man/girl, at peace with himself.

I suppose I don't understand that then yes. Seems like he accepted and enjoyed many of the aspects of being a girl. And while I wouldn't have expected him to instantly be one hundred percent OK with everything and embracing it, but it seems like a rather big disconnect there. The whole narrative seemed to be about accepting the part of him that really liked being that, and then in the end he didn't move much further down that acceptance path. Would have been nice for Joe to at least start to try, even if she still has her reservations and isn't totally into things yet. If you wanted that level of psychology in the story perhaps could have done a bit more with it in that ending so it was a bit more relateable.

I could've ended it with Joe and Tammy in middle school, learning magic,

I really wish you did do a later scene with them practicing their magical abilities. You mention them being white witches. That's interesting. What exactly does it mean (beyond what we'd just expect on a surface level from the title)? Why'd they turn away from just doing whatever? Were there downsides to some sort of spiritual component? Was it making them bitter? Different? Not who they want to be? So many options. Seems like there's elements of another story there.

Also Joe obviously wasn't as powerful right? So her having to get used to the idea that Tammy has more natural ability and that effecting their friendship in any particular way could have been a nice chapter on its own or in fact its own story. Lots of expandable possibilities there and I wouldn't mind seeing a sequel with them both practicing their magic and perhaps being responsible for doing something to someone else in perhaps the freshmen year of High School or something where these issues are addressed with maybe a new victim, or someone doing something along the lines of what Joe did to himself and those two trying to help the person.

Generally more Joe and Tammy interaction would have been great. That was one of the best pieces of the novel, and it would have been very nice to see more of them.

I'd be interested what other fates you imagined for the characters. If you feel like my ending closed things off, where would see it going instead?

There were so many different little things it's almost impossible to say them all. The point of ending the story earlier would have been the readers imaginations could have gone anywhere with what could have happened. One could have imagined Joe not at all accepting things well if one liked dark endings and that he'd never be able to adjust. Or some could have thought they'd both legit ended up as models if that was where our imaginations wanted us to take things and sort of making things work out in that direction. There's just so many options a more open ended ending lets people get to.

Unless you wanted a sequel I didn't like the closing things off from wherever readers imaginations wanted to wander. Yeah, I can see how it was sort of a 'happy' ending, but in the genre you're writing which is supposed to be all about fantasy and sort of putting yourself in the characters shoes closing off possibilities with an ending probably isn't the best decision as people want to put their own ideas of what happens in the end rather then your own as it is for much of your target audience something they would love happening to them.