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#1 |
Me
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 44
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Hey, wrote a short scene/story for a friend that I thought I'd share. If anyone is interested.
Contains transformation obviously. Also nudity and sex.. just so you know! Don't want to offend anyone. I don't want to ruin any of it so you will have to give it a try if you want to know more. Let me know what you think! -Nymic |
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#2 | |
Banned
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 318
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Re: Transformation story
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And a little more dialogue would also do wonders in relaying information; thoughts, feelings, ect. Otherwise this story is a decent one, friend. ![]() |
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#3 |
Me
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 44
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Re: Transformation story
Thanks! Sorry for any confusion. I tend to have to much of the story in my head and don't explain it as well as I think I am.
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#4 |
Banned
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 318
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Re: Transformation story
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#5 |
Amateur writer
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 547
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Re: Transformation story
Your writing is very good, just felt like there was too much information released at very rapid pace so the story barely had pace. The transformation was nice as well, I'm not a fan of sudden transformations but the "build up til the moment" was very good, I just felt that the transformation itself lacked a bit of description, it felt like in one seccound the lady is shaking on the floor and then she is a male werewolf(?) Again, the choice of detail on a TF is all left to the author so never mind me on that, but I just feel like the narrative lacks an element that grabs me. But misregard my words, I hardly know anything about the English language or writing, so keep up the pace and good work!
__________________
Check out my FA site, I would appreciate the feedback. http://www.furaffinity.net/user/hexen109/ And may the TF fairy find you and make you rawr!! |
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#6 |
Me
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 44
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Re: Transformation story
You sound competent in English to me. I agree totally. The change itself was chosen by the girl I was writing for and she, while liking werewolves isn't into the process as much. Most my work is far more detailed in that regard. I plan on posting many more from time to time. Hopefully you will like others better.
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#7 | |
The Undying Shadow
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Anywhere and Everywhere
Posts: 1,351
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Re: Transformation story
Good story. I don't want to repeat what has already been said on this thread, but I really enjoyed reading it. Didn't expect a reversion, but it was a nice touch. I hope we can go back to Shea in the near future.
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#8 |
Amateur writer
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 547
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Re: Transformation story
Idem. Would love to read more.
__________________
Check out my FA site, I would appreciate the feedback. http://www.furaffinity.net/user/hexen109/ And may the TF fairy find you and make you rawr!! |
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