I'm trying, please be patient...

Stabs · 12-23-2008

This is my first try at some actual GTS writing. You know I can draw, but I don't enjoy it as much as I wish I did.
I took so many liberties here I wish I could name them all. But I can't, and I won't. You will judge the quality yourself.

"Twenty bucks say this was a pissed off employee with a gun."
Portman, Doom.

Duke stopped fiddling with his fingers for a while. Then he looked out of the window.

"Are you sure that you're not itching to use the gameboy you brought? Your fingers tell me otherwise..." a woman's voice said, over the noise of the blades spinning through the air.

The endless expanse of blue ocean below the helicopter seemed to go on and on forever. Perhaps because it did. Duke looked up at his captain.

"I've already told you that I didn't sneak a gameboy aboard, miss." he said, with an almost military courtesy. On the inside, though, he was shivering. Referring to a woman as a superior... he didn't know if miss would cut it. Perhaps he was supposed to call her Sir, nevertheless? Sirrah? Lady? Milady? He had never really paid attention to proper greetings in academy...

Looking up to meet his captain's brown, icy eyes, Duke did his best to repress any display of emotion. Her slow reaction was sending more shivers down his spine. At any time now, she'd speak up and berate him in front of the other five soldiers in the helicopter.
But she didn't. After half a minute that seemed like an eternity, he realized that his captain wasn't interested in arguing. Not right now.
That didn't calm him as much as it could have. He HAD snuck a gameboy aboard, nevertheless...

"If I find a portable console, however, remember that I'm throwing it away immediately." the captain told him, finally.

Duke nodded.

"Yes, lad... miss." he stuttered.

And then, one of his companions spoke up.

"Permission to speak, miss." he said. Duke felt relieved that someone else had either made the same mistake or vindicated him as getting it right.

So Duke looked at Jebediah, the one who spoke. Not a codename... their mission wasn't that important. As far as he knew, they were going to do guard duty in some ass-end spot of the world. Probably Anctartica or the likes. But that wasn't specific enough, and three of them were bothered by that.

"Permission granted." the captain answered.

Jebediah nodded.

"I would know, if we have clearance, exactly what is the place we're supposed to guard."

The captain hummed for a moment.

"No, you don't have clearance. I can't tell you what that installation is." she said. "I can only tell you that I will have your heads in a pole if anyone gets in despite you."
"The same pole for all heads?" Ray asked, next to Duke. His thin head belied an able body. Able, at least in body. Because his mind wasn't anything worth looking at.

"Don't you all get uppity here." the captain finally said. "Guard this place. Two months. Then go back home, we'll find other morons to do your job. Is it that hard not to ask what this place is?" she asked.

No one answered.

"It was not a rhetorical question." she clarified.

"Oh, god, something please make the bitch shut up... something please make her shut up, something please make her shut up..." Duke thought.

The captain put her finger to her ear for a moment. Then she spoke up, making her voice clear despite the blades.

"Okay! You all get ready to get off the helicopter! And not a single complaint more. Don't ask a damn about this place, got it? Don't speak to anyone unless spoken to. And even then, don't speak! Cut your tongue off if you have to. It's all for the good of the country." she said, in a voice that skipped all the punctuation signs.

"For the US..." Duke had heard that only in movies. Well, now his life was soon to become a movie.

======

Getting off the chopper, Duke, five others, and the captain stepped on the landing pad, to the familiar feeling of solid concrete underneath. That was a relief particularly for Duke. Six hours of chopper will do wonders for some people's insides.

-Ah...- Duke sighed, trying to stand straight. He realized that three people were now looking at him... one of them being the captain.

As for what they saw...

Usually, people in the military service have short hair or a shaved head. Duke had the first, though his black hair would have been unnoticed anyway; not because his skin was black, but because he never learned how to use hair to his advantage. The captain had very short hair, and that was a pity, because she would've been a real looker otherwise. Jebediah was shaved, and Ray had short hair. The last three had all shaved heads. As is cliche for a group of soldiers, everyone was white, except for one. But he didn't look like Samuel L. Jackson either.

Someone came out of the stairs. There were stairs next to the landing pad. Those kinds of stairs that open to rooftops, with the door and everything. Two people flanked him. And unlike the ones from the chopper, these two were armed... to say the least. Their weaponry looked advanced, and deadly. Which is to be expected when half of the world's weaponry budget is only one nation's.

Though, frankly, most people couldn't tell an advanced weapon if it shot off their innards with small black holes. Actually, those weapons just looked shiny and big. And fully automatic. And were backed up by tactical armor. This individual could be thought of as important... if not for the fact that he had just walked out into the open, unlike really important people. So the impression was that he was just paranoid.

The beret he wore didn't seem to carry much meaning. His black glasses, neither. The badges on his chest, though, Duke counted them. One, two, three... err... more than three. Didn't matter how many more, or which ones... He answered to this guy now.

As the man with two guards approached the captain, after they shook hands, and compared credentials, Duke did his best to stand still and firm. He hadn't joined the army to serve the country. He wanted to be put a weapon in his hands, not just stand there and look nice. If only he could pull his gameboy from his pocket now... those two seemed to take forever... what the hell were they discussing?

Finally, the man stepped forwards to greet them. Duke looked at the guy's tanned skin. He wondered if the skin under his beret was tanned too, or if the man had a large white spot on the top of his head. The thought almost made him crack a smile.

"Greetings, men. I bid you all welcome to The Spearman, this little base of ours. Location: the middle of the ocean. Time: Day. Mission: Capture anyone who gets too close. Those are the only three things you need to remember to do a perfect job here. I'm assuming even you can do it."

Oh, burn. And everything seemed to be going so well... until the Man remembered that he was to berate people.

"I have no idea why is it you've not been stationed in Iraq. Just be sure it wasn't because you were too good to die. I just wish it were that you were too stupid to fight in a real war, but I think you all seem to have a twinkle of sentience in your eyes... try to keep it where I don't have to see it."

"...I'll give this twinkle to you at the first chance I get, whatever your name is..." Duke thought to himself.

"ANY QUESTIONS?" he finished.

Duke raised his hand.

"The schoolboy who raised his hand. What is it? What's your name?"

"My name is Duke, sir! I wanted to know how are we to refer to you, sir!"

"Sir" grimaced.

"Oh, I see. Well, that depends. When you are talking to me, I am ?sir?. When you are talking with each other, I am ?God?. Any other stupid questions, Duke?"

"No, God!" Duke said, unthinkingly. And then he realized what he had just said. "Sir! No, God, Sir! Argh...!"

"Shut that hole before I shut it and make you a new one." God said. "So we have a clown here, huh? Well, you'll be known from now on as Bozo. BOZO?"

"Sir!" Duke asked. Regretfully, he had to admit to himself that whatever God was doing, it was working.

"What happened to God?" the guy with a dozen badges asked.

"Sir! It was a mistake, sir!" Duke exclaimed. This was getting boring. And a bit annoying. Not to mention degrading. Well, at least he couldn't get degraded any lower than he was already.

"Are you calling God a mistake?"

"Sir! It was my mistake to confuse the names, sir! It won't happen again! I am very sorry, sir!" Duke tried. Though he had to admit to himself that if it were by him, that would happen really often.

But God was satisfied.

"Okay, you did choose them exactly as stupid as I want them." he smiled at the captain. "Captain Tanner, this is the exact kind of stupid I want. Webcomic worthy stupid." God asked.

Duke was only slightly offended. He had never been the brightest bulb in the box, but people usually at least had the decency to tell him on his face.

"Very well. Chitchat's over. I want your names. Except for Bozo's. And then, my assistants here will point you to your guard posts." God said. Then he pointed at the man on the left. And then to the right...

"Sir! I'm Oscar, sir!"
"Sir! I'm Robert, sir!"
"I already know Bozo..."
"Sir! I'm Jebediah, sir!"
"Sir! I'm Wally, sir!"
"... (gestures to throat) ..."

"Congratulations on finding that one, Captain." the man smiled. "Exactly the person I needed for the job. Mutie! You get a promotion, right here, right now..."

======

As soon as they were all placed in their spot, Duke looked around. This place would be his home for a month, he better got a good look at it...

Right now he was ten metres above the average sea level, looking out at the sea, with nothing but a transponder on his hand, a gun in his waist, and a small stool behind him. A really small stool. The kind of stool that makes you wonder if they meant it to be used for comfort, or if they were betting whether it would go up your arsecrack or not as soon as the two of them made contact.

Duke felt distrustful. Towards a stool.

-Standing up it is, then...- he said, with more personality this time. He started doing his job; looking through the windows in the round corner of the hallway, checking if anything was there on the horizon. He faithfully performed this duty for his country...

...for approximately twenty minutes. Then he pulled out the gameboy from the pen pocket near his heart, and turned it on.

He skipped through the intro for the Legend of Zelda. He swore this time he was going to get through the damn game. Through the damn entire game! It had been tough, but he had finally acquired every possible powerup. Now he was sure he'd get a secret ending, or, at least, get through the endgame. He loaded his savegame. And then...

...someone swiped it off his hands, opened one of the windows, and threw his gameboy away.

-Hey!- Duke protested, before he saw that it was his captain. She then kept strolling down the hallway without saying another word. Duke watched her go with a little anger brewing within him. If she knew of the trials he had to overcome to get where he was in that game... Duke thought. If only she knew...

...she'd probably have berated him too, and broke the gameboy on his skull before throwing it away. But anyway, what was the worst that could happen now?

Duke later than sooner found out. After the first three hours standing up, even that little stool looked like a viable seat. He wondered if he couldn't improvise a larger surface to sit on with his gun... then he remembered what his grandpa used to say about sitting on a pistol. So he wondered if perhaps the architecture was as shoddy as it looked, then he could perhaps steal a few tiles from here and there, use them to improvise something that he really could sit on. Hell, even sitting on a half-open window was starting to look like a good idea. Despite the sea on the other half.

-They better not be using us in some shoddy experiment about human behavior when we really want to lean our arses on something...- Duke said, out loud.- Argh!

Sooner than later, he figured this out: there was nowhere to sit on. And yes. He was going to have to look outside for a long time... a loong time...

-At least, it's only thirty days.- Duke said.- There are worse ways to make a living...

Half an hour later, Duke decided nothing would zip past the horizon and disappear if he went for a diet coke. On his way there, he remembered seeing a vending machine somewhere...

Retracing his steps for two corridors, he finally found the vending machine. It was in a T-intersection. And god, he was thirsty... mindlessly, he walked towards the vending machine, thinking that perhaps he didn't have enough change...

...though soon he'd have all the changes he could handle and more.

======

As he approached the vending machine, he discovered someone else had approached it too. And they were about the same height. And both were, for some reason, leaning forward at the same time. Some people would've called it fate. Well, most people would've called it fate. But two people knew better and called it a contusion.

Namely, those were Duke and the blonde he bumped into.

-Ow!

-Argh! Watch your step, you dumb piece of...!

Duke stepped back, alarmed slightly as he vociferated profanities. Then he looked at the person he had bumped into.

She had the most beautiful brown eyes. Work seemed to have taxed them, judging from the small dark spots under them and the red lines in her globes. Her pink, unassuming lips were curved in an expression of pain, and her forehead showed a beautiful frown, the kind that comes just before you shout a littany of blasphemies at a mere passersby. Her curves were all smooth and modest, but beautiful; the curve in her hips, the curve in her chest, the curves in her shoulders, the curve in the beating vein on her temple, and the curve of the vein that fed her sternocleidomasti... sternicledo... the yugular vein, I think. Her unpainted nails and practical hairstyle told one or two things about her and her country... namely, that the US army doesn't buy nail polish for its secret bases, and that she hadn't brought any herself. You didn't hear this from me. She also had a very sexy bruise on her forehead, in which Duke could see the shape of his own head.

-Sorry, my bad.- Duke said, a bit more calmed because of the music that was now playing for him and him alone.

-Yes, your bad.- she said.- Watch your step next time, darn it!- she screeched. He wasn't paying attention to her voice, though.

-I might.- he said, approaching the vending machine and dropping coins into the slot. -I hope I do.

She sighed.

-Sorry about snapping at you like that...

-I didn't mind...

-No, really, sorry.- she said.- My name's Brenda.

-I'm Duke. Pleased to meet you, Brenda.

-Pleased to meet you, Duke.- Brenda said.- Say, I haven't seen you here...

-No, I'm new. I just started work today... it's a frustrating, boring job, and I've been here for only one day.- Duke said.- Couldn't they just put... buoys with cameras a mile away?

-You tell me. Yes, I hate this place too.- she admitted.- Can't get a good meal, can't get anything to read, can't get any news, can't get any...- she started.- ...anyone to talk to, I mean.

-Oh, yes, I know what you mean.- Duke said, as he checked the selection.- Wait a moment. They only have diet coke in there!- he exclaimed, frowning.

-That's right.

-That's impossible...- Duke said, turning around, rather violently.- You were going towards the vending machine... why would you, if...?

-Hold it, I never said that.- Brenda answered.

-Well, then, what were you...?

-Okay, I was. It's either that, or lukewarm water.- she answered.- It's actually the first time I...

Duke pushed a button. A freezingly cool diet coke dropped into the slot.

-So, got any lukewarm water, then?- he asked, offering Brenda the cold diet coke.

======

After those fifteen minutes of life, Duke returned to his position. Though he didn't like to admit it, Brenda might yet make the trip worthwhile. That is, if he didn't know there were five others like him around the base. But Brenda didn't seem like the sort of person who would have six people compete for her attention... which wasn't a good thing either, because it would mean she'd probably turn the six of them down. He secretly hoped she didn't meet any of the others.

But well. He just stood there for eight more hours... bored to hell, but staying observant, to a reasonable degree for someone who's signed up for one thing and wound up doing another. He scratched his head, thinking why hadn't they just put security cameras and a room with them.

-Guess they have to save up somewhere to buy all these jet fighters they're never going to use...- Duke told himself. Until sundown. When he thought that someone should've come to replace him already. They wouldn't have twenty-four hour shifts; not even in times of war was that a possibility... was it? Or perhaps they really knew how futile their job was?

But well, in the dark, and left wondering what the hell was up with the shoddy administration, Duke had no better idea than to check his transponder. He was surprised when he saw that it had only one button.

"Push if you see something on the horizon."

At that point, Duke felt underestimated. Then he felt it was funny. Then he felt it was sad. Then he felt it was intriguing. Then he felt it was just... too much. He needed to talk to a superior. But at the same time, he knew what the answer would be. They weren't expecting them to be smarter than monkeys.

-They picked us because we are stupid?- he wondered out loud.- I thought he was just... those rotten...!- He scratched his scalp for a while.- Okay, let's stay calm, it's all for the good of... whatever country's waters we are in. We are still in the US, right?

As he said that out loud, he got his answer from that very question. And then he yawned.

Two hours later... he yawned again.

And then he yawned irregularly and more frequently. Finally, he started sitting down... on that stool... he didn't feel his arse anymore. All he knew were the lines in the horizon. And the lack of light was making it hellishly hard to see anything. His eyes closed... closed again...

...and the next thing he knew, there was light coming in from the windows. He had been sleeping the whole night. But what was worse was that, as he stretched out, he fell from the stool. He then realized something...

...yes, he was as stupid as they would've chosen. Something was obviously wrong, and he had just stood there all night like an imbecile, believing that they'd have made such a lax and useless schedule. It was the damn army of the US, and he had just thought they were as stupid as he was?

...but it still didn't convince him.

-Something's obviously wrong here...- he told himself, trying to drive the point to himself. It made perfect sense, now he only needed believe it despite it was his idea.

-Something is obviously wrong here, and I'm not going to stand here like an... like another idiot and let it... do whatever it was going to do.- he finally said. But even then, he didn't believe it.

-Oh, what the hell!- he finally exclaimed, turning around, and speeding through the corridors, looking for someone to ask for clarifications on some concepts...

======

Not too long afterwards, he found a small door. He knocked on it.

Someone opened the door a bit. A young man, thin, black eyes and hair, rather short, sunken eyes, long nose. Not a particularly impressive or emphasizable specimen.

-Yes, who is it?- he asked.

-I'm recruit Duke.- Duke answered.- I'm a bit concerned about our current orders...

-You are a bit concerned?- the man asked, with a half-grin.- Come in.

He opened the door the rest of the way, and stepped back. Duke saw a room full of monitors.

-What is this?- Duke asked, looking at all the cameras.

-We just got back our system.

-What system?

-The surveillance system...- the man answered.

Duke looked at the monitors. Several of them seemed to show the sea outside.

-Does this have 360 degrees coverage?- Duke asked.

-Yes, 360 degrees, with cameras every ten degrees.- the man answered.- Also several on the inside.

Duke grimaced.

-Then why was I posted on a corner, charged with looking out of the windows to check for... whose country's ships would bother us here?

-Any of them, this is a secret base.- the man answered.- We just got our system back about... eight hours ago, that's it. Programming bugs. You know, Windows XP is a bitch.- he smiled.

Duke didn't want to pin the blame on Windows XP.

-So I could've went to get some rest eight hours ago, if only someone had had the decency to tell me my job had been rendered redundant?

-That's not my fault.- the man answered, humanely, despite he was obviously something higher than a recruit.- I'm not a messenger.

-Well, we seriously need a messenger or errand boy here, then!- Duke exclaimed. Poor him...

The man looked at him.

-You're right. We need a messenger, badly... our lieutenant is an idiot.

-Really? I thought we were the newest shipment of them.- Duke grunted.

-Nevermind, recruit.- the man said.- Well, do you believe in leading by example?

-Leading by example? What do you mean?- Duke asked.

-I need (and so do you) to notify the lieutenant that now that we have our surveillance back, it would be... appropriate if he decided to recall the guards placed on the watch posts. You know, like you... this is all getting a bit useless...

Duke hadn't had dinner, or breakfast. So he felt like going up to Sir and telling him to start treating people with respect...

-I will, sir.- he told the man.

-Private Leslie. There's no need to call me Sir.- the man said.- Oh, by the way, you might need this. It's a small map...

======

It didn't take long for Duke to figure out the general layout of the building, and find his way to the lieutenant's office. He only got lost twice.

On the way to the office, though, he found the rest of his... squad, so to speak. They were in the kitchen, all having breakfast, together with Lieutenant God.

-What are you all doing here?- Duke asked, angry... and hungry.

-Duke! Where have you been?- Jebediah asked.- We were all a bit worried about you. You never showed up for dinner...

-No one told me we were having dinner!

-We didn't think we'd have to.- God said.

-I sat there all night long, with a stool that was only barely large enough not to get up my arse, watching the perimeter of this godless base for the sake of the country for god knows how long, and you didn't think you'd have to tell me we were having dinner?

-Of course, Bozo.- God said.- Do people stay awake all night long watching the horizon in moonless and cloudy nights without having dinner where you live?

This was a bit more than he could stand.

-I had just met with Private Leslie, sir.- he started.- He recommended you recalled the guards placed on the watch posts, but I see you've already done so.

-No, there was no need. They recalled themselves.- God said.

-Come on, take a seat!- Ray told Duke.- You look hungry.

-I would, but Leslie needs to know I...

-He's already seeing it, we have a camera there.- another soldier said, pointing at a camera on the corner.- Leslie's the man in the camera room, right?

-Right, recruit.- God said. He obviously found the whole situation fun.

-I see, sir.- Bozo/Duke said. Then he took a seat.

-So, corn flakes or jerky?- Jebediah asked him.

-Give me the densest jerky you have. I'm going to sleep after this.- Bozo/Duke said, scratching his head.

Jebediah stood up, and checked the pantry.

-Hmm, we don't have any more jerky, I'm afraid. We ate it all.

-I'm not going to eat corn flakes before going to sleep, I need dinner...- Duke said.- What else do we have?

-Well, we have ham-flavored cheetos, and...

-Corn flakes it is then.- Duke grunted.

-You seem cranky, recruit.- God said, with a smug smile.- Why is that?

Bozo met his superior's eyes. And then he got ready to do the sir thing.

-Sir, I seem cranky because... I am having trouble adjusting to the organization here. It seems... haphazard, sir.

-I prefer to call it humane, recruit.- God pointed.- But we're holding an immediate meeting so that you all will adjust as well as possible.

Bozo ate his corn flakes with no sugar (because it was stale), and got ready for the rest of a long day. It was obvious that he wouldn't be sleeping at all...

======

-Oh, screw God, and his disciples, and their mothers...- Duke grunted, as he approached the T-intersection where he had met with Brenda before. He got his hopes up a bit more than he should have, though... he waited with characteristic patience, and Brenda never showed up. Well, it wasn't like it was a date or anything.

But nevertheless, he decided to try something... he looked for the direction from which Brenda had came. And then he went in that direction. If he was lucky, he'd be able to meet Brenda... sometime soon...

Feeling a bit silly in his camo clothes which he hadn't had any time or spares to change, walking indoors in an Operation Desert Storm costume, just without the cool weapons, he quickly found where Brenda worked.

Right behind the red door reading "BIOHAZARD" with its characteristic icon, a cardkey reader, five metres of yellow and black stripes, which were divided between five feet of CAUTION signs, five feet of DANGER signs, five feet of WE REALLY MEAN IT signs, and a last five feet that he couldn't finish read because twenty feet mean six metres, and the last five feet finished behind the door.

He looked at the cardkey reader. And then he pulled out his credit card. No rule seemed to be meant with any discipline or indeed intent to be followed there, and he could just follow suit. So he slid his credit card down the slot reader. Immediately, the screen flashed.

"HOW MUCH OF A BRIBE DO YOU OFFER?"

He pushed the 1, and then the 5.

"FIFTEEN, EH? THANKS, BUDDY!"

He blinked. But the door didn't budge an inch.

Bribing a cardkey reader was probably the most unique thing that would ever happen to him, if you don't count the part where the reader didn't do anything afterwards.

-Well?- Duke asked the AI.- Open the door?

The door didn't open. Duke grabbed the doorknob...

...to discover it had been open all the time.

-This place is so dumb, it's scary...- Duke grimaced. Now he wasn't sure he wanted to know what lay behind the door. Some brain-eating bacteria, perhaps? And they needed stupid people as test subjects?

Of course, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and Duke could've noticed that the only idiot in the installations was him. But he was too scared, annoyed, worn out, and otherwise stupefied to even imagine that.

======

Through the door, he found... a room with a desk. And he found Brenda on the desk. That room had a glass wall that showed a much larger room, one with actual laboratory equipment. On one side of the small room, there was an airlock, marked BIOHAZARD, too. On the other side, there were two doors, marked with the shape of a guy, and the shape of a guy with a skirt.

There was a computer on the desk. But he didn't care about that.

-Brenda?- he asked.

Brenda turned around, and looked at him.

-Ah, hello. How did you get in?

-It was open.- Duke answered, pointing at the door.- Didn't keep the card reader from cheating me out of fifteen, though...

-Yes, it does that sometimes. No one knows why, but it's just not the moment to replace it.- she answered.- We're in a crucial experiment right now, and...

-Crucial experiment?- Duke asked.- Do tell me all about it, then...

-It's not much, actually.- Brenda answered.- We're just testing a synthetic virus' ability to infect different kind of cells.

-Aren't virii... defined by attacking only one specific kind of cell?- Duke asked.- Literally, only one kind of tissue, from only one species?

Brenda nodded.

-That's right, but there's no real reason why it would be so, other than because Mother Nature kept it at that.

-Isn't that a good enough reason for us to leave it at that, too?

-I don't really feel like discussing the ethics or morals behind the modification of virii, not right now.- Brenda answered.- If you don't like it, get behind the damn biohazard door.

-What for? It's open anyway!

-Close it when you go through...

-No, nevermind. Sorry about the criticism.- Duke said.- Just trying to make small talk, you know.

She looked at him, and smiled.

-Sorry about that. This place is a bit maddening.

-You tell me. I've only been a dozen hours here and...

-Twelve hours.- Brenda interrupted.

-What?

-You said "a dozen hours". It's the first time I've ever heard that.- she said, with a strange gaze.- So where are you from?

-Alabama.- Duke said.- Didn't get out much, yeah, but I did learn to pay attention in school.

-Really?- Brenda asked. The two of them were smiling already.- And... how did you end up in the army?

-Very quickly, actually. I went to military school.- he answered.- And you?

-No, I went to public school, I'm from Florida. The level isn't high, but once in a while, you will find a teacher who really likes to teach science.

-What do you mean by that?

-What you heard, what were you thinking?- Brenda asked, raising her eyebrows for a moment.- You know, public school doesn't have a high level, but each of us can decide our own levels.

-Really? How?- Duke asked, pretending to be interested.

-It's actually very easy. You just have to set your own standards. My grades at school weren't high, but I was smarter than anyone else in my class.- she smiled.- I was just studying something different.

"Okay, she loves herself, I like that..." Duke thought to himself. Then he nodded.

-And you?

-No, not me.- he answered.- Anything more on that vein?

-There was this guy, he was in a different class... I never really met him, but his father was always bragging in meetings that his kid already was on a level good enough to pass university exams in physics. You know what the secret was? His father was the guy who taught chemistry to both this kid AND the people at university; the kid had been prepped from the age of seven. So obviously he'd be able to pass college as a twelve-year old. He was studying something different, too. I know he didn't make it to university; he quit school at the age of seventeen to become a rocker.

-My god, that's so ironic!- Duke laughed.- At least, was he good at it?

-No, that part I dunno. And you?

-No, I didn't quit school to become a rocker.

-No, I meant... anything interesting to tell, Duke?

-Nothing I can think of.- he smiled.- I'm pretty much one-dimensional: what you see is what I am.

-Nothing at all? Nothing to tell me about your parents, relatives, job...?

-Nothing, I mean... are you really sure you want to talk about my parents, relatives, and job?

-Well, what else would we talk about?

-Are you sure that what you want is to talk?- Duke asked, relaxing his eyes... for lack of a better way to describe his face. The kind of face that Di Caprio makes sometimes in ads, the face that starts looking a bit silly if you look at it for too long. Then again, silliness and seduction might be related. God knows I hope they are... knows I wish they were. We all know no one's turned on by clowns. Well, no one we'd want to be near. Then again, a guy in a clown costume could overcome the handicap if he really had the attitude.

Anyway, this is a story about impossibilities. It's impossible an army contains anyone that incompetent or that insubordinate, it's impossible for a keycard reader to act like an ATM (a corrupt ATM, too), it's impossible for a guy called Duke to pick up a chick unless she's a furry who's into dogs, it's impossible that something like "are you sure that what you want is to talk?" works as an effective pickup line, it's impossible for me to post this and get away with it. But what the hell.

She met his eyes, her smile disappeared.

-Well, you're direct.- she said.- I can respect that.

-Respect is not what I'm after.

-Yes, I know...- Brenda nodded.- I'm thinking about it right now.

-Thinking?- Duke asked, raising an eyebrow.- Why?

-You have a point there. A monosyllable, but you have a point.- she nodded.- Did you bring condoms?

-Why would I have brought condoms? I was here for guard duty!- Duke protested.

-Well, you were here for one thing, you intended to do another... now it looks like we're doing neither because preservatives were excess weight or something.- she huffed.- Now let me get back to work already, okay?- she said, turning to the monitor.

-Hey, don't be like that!- Duke said, leaning towards her ear.

-Don't be what? Unwilling to make your babies?- she grunted, tilting her head away.- I was looking forward to it too!

-Well, then why didn't you bring condoms yourself?

-Do you REALLY want to get into that now?- she asked.- Be a jerk, okay! Be my guest!

-Oh, come on.- Duke said, leaning away.- There must be something we can do.

The speaker emitted a beep.

-Not right now.- she said.- I've got work.- she took a pair of glasses, put them on, and then looked at the keyboard, leaning in.

-You need glasses for reading?

-You didn't want to talk, didn't you? Wait, this looks promising.

-Promising? Did a virus finally agree to expand business?- Duke asked, with a mocking smile.

-Yes.- she said, turning the monitor a bit towards Duke, and then pointing at two dots in a sea of cells each, two different kinds of cells in two different windows.- You see those two cells with different shapes?

-That one looks very small...

-Because it's almost out of focus. But they've both got this blue spot in them, you see?- she pointed at two small spots, one of which Duke frankly didn't identify as a spot... or identify at all.- That one is a fat cell. That other one out of focus is a bone marrow cell.

-Hm.- Duke nodded.- So they've both got blue dots... what happens now?

-Now, we have to see if those blue dots did manage to do anything to the nucleii. For that I'd have to check the DNA. Just allow me to check this program...- she turned the screen back to herself, and then slid the mouse to another icon on the desktop. She double-clicked... and waited.

-Does it always take this long?- Duke asked.

-Usually, yes.- she answered.- I've got to defrag this drive next chance I get. And erase all my Valentino and Legolas porn.

Duke grinned.

-What?- Brenda asked.- They are hot, you have to admit that!

-No, it's not that. I think your computer just froze.

-You don't say!?- she protested, looking at a light behind the window. There was a red light in a small CPU which was on, not flickering... she shook the optic mouse a bit. The cursor didn't move.

-It froze!?- she protested. Then she held down Alt, Control, and used her right index as a scourge for the Del key, once and again, and again, and again...

-Well, that's what you get for using Windows Vista.- Duke said, grinning.

-What the hell do you know about what we're using?- Brenda frowned, visibly angry.

-Your computer doesn't look like a Macintosh and those windows don't look like Linux.- Duke said, with the same smug eyes.

Brenda looked at him. Hate was now visible in her eyes.

-They didn't teach you how to be at least a bit sensitive?

-Sorry, I didn't know Microsoft was such a touchy topic.- Duke said.- I usually get slapped for being more open about civil warranties or religious freedom than about Windows.

-So you're sarcastic, now, too?- she asked.- I'll have to reset it manually... wait here. DON'T come after me. I'm okay.- she said, walking towards the airlock.

-Isn't there anyone who can do that for you?- he asked, as she went there... and then, when he saw her on the other side of the glass...- Shouldn't you have put on a containment suit?

-Hmm. No need to bother anyone. This happens all the time...- she pushed the button on the CPU to reset the computer. Meanwhile, allow me another impossibility...

======

At a different scale, in a million to one at least, YTR-3268 looked around, bored. YTR-2234, behind, recited something.

-In this secret laboratory, scientists have managed to both create and isolate the vicious YTR virus. However, the experts maintain that once isolated, the virus will die... of boredom.- 2234 said.

-Nothing ever happens around here.- 3268 said.- You know, for once, I'd like to do something else than infect marrow or fat cells.

-Totally.- 2234 agreed.- You know what I'd really like? Some stem cells. I'd stir up some nasty shit with that.

-Hey, stem cell experimentation is against the Creator's will.- 3268 said.- Just kidding. Gosh, I'm bored...

The two of them watched the blonde approach the computer. Only ten centimetres away from them...

-You know, 2234, I wonder just how many tissues the average LIVING self-sufficient specimen has.- 3268 said.

-Look, the computer froze again. That's what she gets for using Windows Vista.- 2234 judged.

-Yeah. But if she was using Macintosh, then what would we be doing here?- 3268 asked.

-You're right. God bless Bill Gates and his evil empire.- 2234 nodded.

The two of them once more looked at Brenda. She was covered with white, but some parts showed keratinous activity. And some others showed... a melanine-pigmented surface composed of irregularly-shaped cells. Then again, they once in a while got to see a blood vessel... sweet blood vessel... or a transparent, gelatinous substance. She even showed them some cleavage, but they couldn't appreciate it.

-I'd do all her tissues...- 3268 said.- Me and my billion children.

-It's so frustrating.- 2234 said.- You know, I'd love to make her a baby doll... with drool. But we're stuck here in the surface of this agar. And all we've got here is marrow and fat. Just for once, I'd like for something to happen. Something really big. I'd like to do something more. I know I could.

-Well, unless she decides she wants to have some jelly with us in it, I doubt we're going anywhere.

2234 got on its sheath.

-Almighty God, if you're there, give me a sign that you love me. It's an order!

3268 shook its cromosomes.

-Okay, that's something new.

-Boy, I was so close. And I could've gotten there. If only that chick had packed some condoms...

-At-choo!

At low speeds, a fluid maintains a laminar regime. But most of the time, a fluid (liquid or gas) is turbulent. And within a turbulent fluid, it's hard to say anything. Except that you don't want it.

But 2234, 3268, and the other 50.000 copies of YTR wanted a turbulent fluid. Seven hundreds of them were carried away by an unlikely disturbance in the air.

-Whoohoo!

-Yee-haw! Ride the wind!

-What the hell just happened? This is a clean room!- Brenda protested.

-Not anymore, baby!- 2234 said.- We're free!

Unfortunately, they were only a few centimetres closer to that sapiens sapiens. They landed on the table right next to the computer, where her hand approached...

-Look at that!- 2234 said.- I did it!

-I can't believe it, God really loves...!- 3268 exclaimed.

Her finger stopped a centimeter short of them.

-Loves you not.- 3268 said.

Then she clicked her fingernail against them, leaving them stuck in the keratine.

-Loves me do...- 2234 said.

Nothing more. Just keratine.

-Loves you not.

She ran her hand closer to her mouth...

-Loves me do...

She lowered her hand

-Loves you not.

Then she walked out of the clean room, and approached Duke. She leaned forward...

-Loves me do...

...kissed his forehead, and slid her other hand's nail on his lip, as he said something they didn't quite get.

-What do we REALLY know about religion, anyway?- 3268 asked.

-Come on, you big-ass slut! Suck on your finger for a while, will ya? Guys love that! You've had college education, you can do this! Even if you're a blonde!

-I really don't think you should...

-Oh come on, you idiot! Suck on your finger! While he leaves! Because you're really lusty and we all know it!- 2234 shouted, as he saw Duke leave.

She brought her hand closer to her mouth.

-That's it, that's it, come to daddy...

She spread her fingers.

-Yes, yes, yes!

She... put her pinky between her lips.

-No! NO! WRONG FINGER!- 2234 exclaimed.- VERY WRONG! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU TO HELL!

-Look, 2234, stop before you...

-I should probably wash my hands.- Brenda said.

-NO!

-With water and soap.

-NOOOOO!

-With water, soap, and a little alcohol.

-NOOOOOOOOOO!

-Twice.

-NOOOO! NOOOO! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU TO HELL, BITCH! DAMN YOU, DAMN YOU ALL! NOOOO!

-Well, 2234, it was nice knowing you... those last forty minutes. If reincarnation exists, then I'm sure we will both have our seats in the Senate.

-No! I don't want to be in the senate!- 2234 complained.- I'd have to... work!

-Don't give up, not just yet.- 3268 grunted.- There might be a way around this.

-She's gonna wash her hands! We're going down the drain! We're going to end up in the sea! It's salt water with protozooans! You know I don't do protozooans! And it's too cold! And then I'll become a politician because of the life I've led!

-Oh shut up.- 3268 shouted.

By the time they ended that conversation, Brenda had already washed her hands. Twice. But her fingernails weren't washed. Common mistake.

======

Only seventy minutes later, 2234 and 3268 had already gotten into her system.

-Oh boy, this is so cool!- 2234 expressed.- She didn't have to change her tampon today, but she did! And now look at this place! Only an hour and we're already in the womb! I like this system! What did you say they called it?

-Reproductive system?

-No, not that! I mean the system by which we got from an absorbent medium like a tampon to the inside using only liquids! It should've been the other way around!

-It's active transport through ionic concentration. I had to infect only a few cells, get them to release too many ions we could stick to, and here we are!

-Great! What did you say this species is called?

-Homo sapiens sapiens.

-Homo sapiens twice? Cool! Is it like the pig or labrat?

-Well... they're all mammals. But it's not like the Sus or the Mus.

-Yeah, homo has two syllables.

-You know what, I don't care. I came here for one thing, and by God I'm doing it. Help me find some ova?

-Yes. Hear this out: we find ova, we trade (or rather, we say we trade. Actually we take) some genetic material, mutate some, then we get in the bloodstream. With that structure under our power, we'll be able to target the entire damn body! Isn't that a perfect plan?

-... you must be crazier than I thought.

-Oh come on, we gotta die of something. Look, once we can, I'll take the bones. Any new cells you'd like to infect?

-Oh, yes! Just one question, though. We gotta do something new, something special! I don't want to just turn her insides blue, no one would notice.

-If her pussy turned blue, I think she'd notice.

======

About by that time, Brenda was back to work... checking, together with three colleagues, that the clean room had stayed clean. Nothing had really broke, and her sneeze had only affected exposed material. Some samples were thrown into the incinerator, but the rest just got thoroughly cleaned. And she got a paycut for that month...

...when she heard something rumbling at the height of her waist.

======

-OH my god.

-Whoops, sorry.

-OH MY GOD!

-Hey, I said I was sorry!

-You aren't sorry enough! Do you know what this is?- 3268 exclaimed, pointing at the blood that emanated from the vessel.- This means hurry. If she doesn't notice she's bleeding into her womb, this probably isn't be your fault.

-Then let's hope...

-If she doesn't notice she's DEAD because she just got shot while you burst that vessel, moron! Now let's go. Wherever we want to be isn't there...

======

It wasn't long until it was her lunch hour. She sat down in the kitchen, and helped herself to a BLT sandwich.

-Where'd you get that?- Duke asked, as he entered.

She looked at Duke. Now he interrupted her lunch, too?

-Don't you have work to do?- she asked, taking a bite.- 'm tryng tuh heff loonch.

-I was going to have lunch, too.- Duke said.- I didn't know there was bread, or lettuce, or tomato.

He checked the cupboards.

-Hey, they refilled. I'll make some fried rice. Do you want any?

-No.- she said.- I don't like fried stuff. Or rice.

-Oh.- Duke said.- How about...

-"I'll make lunch" is not a pickup line.- Brenda interrupted.

-I'm not trying to pick you up. I just wanted to apologize. I was a bit moody, I... thought I saw something, a chance, I overreacted. I'm sorry!

-Not the time. I'm eating.- she said.

-As you say.- Duke sighed. Then he turned on the stove, put there a pan, added oil, heated it slowly to make sure it didn't jump off.

She was halfway across her sandwich when she looked at him.

-So you want to talk?- she asked.

-We were recommended not to.

-None here actually pays any attention to it. We were supposed not to get distracted, but frankly, you help me concentrate.

-Really?- Duke asked, looking back.

-Yes. You make the alternative clear.

Duke scratched his head.

-Less than a day have I met you, and already you're saying stuff like that. I must've really grown on you.

-Like a mushroom.- she smiled.- I don't hate you, don't take this the wrong way.

-You don't hate your friends, I know.- Duke said.

-Who says we're friends?- she asked.

-It's what you were about to say, right? Let's just be friends?- Duke asked.

-I wasn't going to say that.- she said, tilting her head.- I was just going to ask you to do something. If you're not going to do this for me, do it for yourself.

-I'm intrigued.- Duke said.

Brenda smiled.

-Don't you ever get near the lab again. Got it? Leave me to work.

-Okay, sorry I bothered you. It won't happen again.- Duke said, sighing.- I'm really looking forward to sleeping tonight.

-Did you pick someone up in this little time?

-No, it's not that.- he said.- It's just I'm really, really tired. I can't wait for you to see me rested. I'm a completely different person.

-Completely.- she said.- I though you were rested right now.

-No, I'm not.- Duke said.- I'm just making an horrible effort to try and be polite. And to avoid crumbling to the ground like a sack of potatoes.

-Sir, that's very military, sir.- she smiled.

-Thank you.- he answered.

======

That night, while she slept, the virii silently attacked her intestine (and ran), the marrow (and ran), and several other organs (from which they escaped). But even then, all they did was turning them blue. Also that night, our dynamic duo left through her lungs... and filtered themselves in the vents.

On the other hand, Duke had a perfectly wholesome and restful night's sleep.

Now the unmitigated, desired chaos finally starts...

======

"God" was poring through his files, checking the information on those new recruits. He smiled as he checked Duke... a perfectly average, perfectly expendable person. So was Jebediah. And that guy who hadn't said a word... could have said a word. Well, he fooled him pretty nicely. There'd be plenty of time for revenge. Oscar and Robert... he couldn't finish with them. He heard something on the vent.

Something on the vent heard him, too. Though at the time it was an unintelligent arthropod.

======

-Look!- 2234 said.- Look at this!

-Look at what?- 3268 asked.- That spider?

-Yeah! Let's infect it.

The YTR virus got into the spider... easily, since it was an arthropod and breathed with its entire body.

-Sweet.- 3268 said.- Hey, we never really got any chance to infect that chick...

-I left some guys there, though. They'll make her insides blue in no time.

-Unless they end up dynamiting her, like SOMEONE did.

-If you think your replications are better than mine, then you could replicate a bit more!

-No, it's not that. I was just thinking... paradox of fate! We just got all her ova desoxirribo... derribo... oxiribo... ribbon... all her info and we can't do a damn thing with it.

-Can't? Or shouldn't?- 2234 said.

-No, frankly, neither. But I don't know what could we do.

-Well, isn't it obvious? Let's mutate this spider a bit. Rock the boat. Shake the bird.

-Mutate the spider, yes. Let us start.

Unaware of the changes about to be undergone, the spider went about its business, enveloping a small fly with webbing. When suddenly it stopped.

-Hey, but where would the extra material come from?- 2234 thought.

-From outside, duh.- 3268 replied.

And then the spider dropped from its web, very still. The fly took the chance to escape the web... and succeeded, actually.

Not too ceremoniously, the spider started swelling. And swelling. And turning from black to brown. Before it knew it (before it knew anything), it was so darn big it filled the section of the vent... but then it stopped again.

-Hey, but air doesn't spontaneously turn into flesh. There must be energy involved for nitrogen to turn to aminoacids from its highly stable diatomic state.

-That's what the oxygen is here for. Oxygen and carbon reaction.

The spider's hairy cephalotorax grew hairier. And hairier. It reshaped. A nose appeared. The eyes flowed from the top, to the front, to the bottom... and then they stopped.

-But the oxygen and carbon reaction is exothermal, and requires a constant intake of carbon...

-There's enough carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.

The thorax of the spider lengthened. The many legs flowed to the back of its body... and then curled, ignoring their own exoskeleton. Two protoplasmic prolongations emerged from the sides. But before they took shape, they stopped.

-However, carbon dioxide is a very stable mollecule, and requires an intake of energy for carbon to be reutilizable...

-We get that energy from burning carbon.

The protoplasm darkened, until it was as black and brown as the rest of the spider. Then it took shape, fagocitating its outer layer, replacing it by a fully brown surface. The tips of the prolongations split into many, the exoskeleton showing from the tip of each. The shape of the arms was now defined. The abdomen stirred into action... but stopped.

-But according to the first law of thermodynamics the maximum effectivity of an energy transf...

-Shut up and finish this, will you?

-Okay, geez. Just trying to make small talk.

Anurubius · 12-23-2008

damn, thats long... I'll have to read it later...

Mecha-naruto · 12-24-2008

2234 and 3268 best virus ever

!!!

asusus2004 · 12-24-2008

This is a brilliant story so far, keep up the good work.

BlazingBarrager · 12-24-2008

Agreed. I'm going to enjoy this a lot.

Stabs · 01-27-2009

Chaos stage two: Setup

-Shut up and finish this, will you?

-Okay, geez. Just trying to make small talk.

The abdomen stirred into action; the legs on the back of the thorax turned to the front, then to the bottom, and then seemed to melt into the abdomen. Finally, the abdomen's bulge lengthened, and then a part shortened as it flowed on top, while another part continued to lengthen. The shortening part contained the weaving gland... the lengthening part contained the legs and some of the abdomen. The mouth, with its quelicerae, contracted upon itself, and its stinging teeth released themselves from their insides, forming an arbitrary array of teeth in each mandible. The eyes melded together.

-Okay, now what do we do?- 2234 asked.

-Hmm, I don't know. How about... bigger?- 3268 suggested.

-That sounds good. But let's have a little fun before that, okay? Besides, there's almost no energy left.

-Now YOU talk about energy? What was all that deflecting, then?

-All that was, in one word, true.

-Offughargh... why do I keep trying to reason with you?

-Because if you didn't... what would you do?

-Alright. Pass me the control. So, A button to talk, B button to bite?

The she-spider crawled through the vent. Eventually, it felt the scent of blood... actual blood, not lymph. Its favourite now. It forgot entirely the fly that it had trapped shortly ago. That wouldn't really feed it, not anymore. Not at this scale.

Moving towards the scent of blood, it approached a grate... and looked down.

-Well, what do we have here?- 2234 asked.

-That's another Sapiens... but frankly, it looks like a Neanderthalensis. I mean, look at its sloping forehead, its small eyes, the sound it makes when it tries to drink with its proto-lips...

The neanderthal suddenly sneezed, dropping the plastic glass on the ground, spilling water, leaning on the dispenser for a moment.

-Did someone put pepper everywhere for innocent's day or something?- Duke grunted.

-I see prey...- 3268 nodded.

-To it!- 2234 exclaimed.

Duke felt a shiver down his spine. He looked around... but the only place where something could come from was the vent, above. For a moment, he thought he saw a pair of red eyes in it.

His hand approached his sidearm slowly. Something primal in him decided he was to shoot first, and ask later. Ask later things like "what has red eyes and crawls in the vents"?

-Okay, kill him! Kill him!- 2234 exclaimed.

-I'm trying! What button to open the vent?

-Did you already try the A button?

-I did!

-Well, try them all! It's almost reached its gun now!

Duke grabbed his gun. His face, right now, was worthy of a western... there was a relaxed, but dangerous expression in his eyes. And then, raising it slowly...

-Duke!

Duke turned around, not aiming his weapon at the interloper.

-What?- he asked, looking at Jebediah.

-Couldn't sleep?- Jebediah asked.- What the hell have you taken out your gun for?

-Okay, stand back, now! We'll reconfigure keys later!

Duke turned around violently, giving his back to Jebediah, and looked back at the grate. There were no more red eyes in it.

-I think... sleep deprivation is affecting me. I thought I saw two red eyes in the grate.

-Really. I'd rather say videogames are affecting you.- Jebediah said, a look of genuine concern in his face.

-And you.- 3268 told 2234.

Duke holstered his sidearm again.

-Then again, what is it they do here?

-I don't care.- Jebediah answered.- They don't pay me to care.

-No, they just pay you to lay your life for its protection.

-Exactly. Given the threat level here, I'd say I'm paid for the hell of it. There's absolutely nothing here, and no one in their sane mind would try to attack this place. Else, why would they be using half a dozen recruits for its protection?

-Hm.- Duke said, scratching his head.- Let's just go get some sleep.

-After you. I want to get some fresh air first.- Jebediah said.

-By the way...- Duke said.- Those eyes seemed very, very real. Are you sure there's nothing here with red eyes that can crawl through a vent?

Jebediah snorted.

-Perhaps the old janitor's cat.

-They let a cat...?

-No, they just refused to put him down. God told me. That little pussy bugs people in a daily basis.

-Hell yeah. Annoying little thing, it screeches like hell.- 2234 said.- Next time I see her, now I'm riding on this, I'm going to kill her so hard the grim reaper is going to feel its pain.

-Her or its?- 3268 asked.

-You shut up, grammar nazi. I'm going to follow this Jebediah guy. He doesn't look so alert.

-But the other one's sleep deprived and thus weak!

-You kidding? Did you pay attention? The guy's monumentally high on sugar: he can't sleep, he could see and not ignore these red eyes, and did you see what a jolt he got when his pal appeared? I might as well attack Schwartzenegger on PCP.

-Hey, sugar isn't ketamine. It doesn't act as a painkiller or cause an ego...

-...so he's going to be twice as pissed off when we get him, he'll be in perfect control of his body, and he won't be overconfident.

-Are you afraid of sugar?

-Some people think homosexuality causes global warming.

-Some people are afraid of virii.

-They better be, damn it!

While the viral compound had this talk with itself, the spider was following the man through the vents. Until it found the place to ambush him...

...at one point, there was a vent on the middle of a corridor. After a little, the vent system led to a large, slowly-rotating fan, which in turn led to the outside. So the spider guessed that the corridor led to Jebediah's goal.

-Okay, how do I break the vent?

-You press X in front of the vent, and then press A.

-Cool.

Jebediah found a window. Opening it and taking a deep breath of cool air from the middle of the ocean, he refreshed his thoughts for what felt like an eternity. Then he turned around, and went back to the barracks.

-Boy, isn't this place big. Whoever thought of using six people for it was insane...

...and then he realized just how insane, when something pulled at his foot. It was like bubblegum, but much worse.

-What the hell!?- he shouted, leaning down to check. And while he did, the vent came down on him, a recent convert to the order of the vertebrates bit him in the lower back, everything went black, and then... it never again went colors. He didn't even get to scream.

======

-Okay, we got him. Now what do we do?- 3268 asked.- This thing is too big to crawl back into the vent!

-And it's going to get bigger!- 2234 exclaimed.

-What the hell? Are you nuts? We're going to get shot!

-No we're not. Okay, start sucking him in.

3268 thought of a counterpoint.

-What do you want? What could he have, five litres of blood? Five litres bigger isn't going to make the difference.

-Well, what do you comp... oh, right. We're going to have to make some deeper changes here.

-What?

-Well, it's not going to drink just the blood. We better make sure it eats the flesh, and the skin, and the bones, and the innards...

-We don't have time for that!

-Then we better make time for that!

-How?

-We need a montage.

======

Duke thought he heard a bump in the distance. But this time, he thought that it was really his lack of sleep and his endless thinking about videogames. Or perhaps the fact that he had stupidly lost an old gameboy. An old gameboy he'd had ever since gameboys existed. And that felt like a long time.

So he rolled over in his bunk bed and went to sleep, wondering when would Jebediah go to sleep. His space was above his bed, so he was very aware of his absence. But he shut off his conscience, and accomplished his passage into Dream.

======

The next day...

======

"God" woke up, quickly got dressed, went to his office, and looked at his desk, smiling. This little joke from the real God (and from his mother) brought a smile to his face every morning, as it had done for the last... forty-three years.
"LT. Einstein." read the plaque in his desk.

They wouldn't believe him that was his surname even if they read it. So he instead went by the nick of God. Those few who knew his real surname usually referred to him by rank, after a while.

In any case, there were two people waiting out of his office. He opened the front door, and looked around. Those two were the man who pretended to be mute, and another man... whose name he never recalled.

-Okay. Come in.- he said, pointing at the man whose name he never recalled. He wore a labcoat, his nametag read... Gourney.

-Yes, mister?

-Lieutenant. Three people never went back to their quarters this morning. We've looked for them, but we haven't found them.

The mute man interrupted, opening the door, and then opening his mouth.

-You wait outside.

-Sir! One soldier are...

-You wait outside, and you're mute! That's an order!- he barked, almost reflexively. Then he cleared his throat, and looked at the man in the labcoat whose name he never recalled, but whose labcoat read Gourney.

-As you were.- God told Gourney.

-We have three scientists missing, as I said.

-Strange.- God said.- This place is big, confusing, and mazelike, but nevertheless, no one had gotten lost before. I'll look into this. You may leave.

-Lieutenant.- Gourney said, leaving. Then the mutie walked in.

-No, you stay out.- God said.

-But...

-While you're at it, explain why you pretended to be mute, and then go to the room for the cameras. Ask Leslie to find these three, and let's hope no one leapt into the sea.- God nodded.

-Sir, I pretended to be mute, because it could only last long enough for kicks, sir.- the mutie said, closing the door as he left.

-Good. You were right. That doesn't get you off the hook, now go do that.

-Sir.

God scratched his head.

-So something's happening. Careful what you wish for, you may get it, mom used to say. Doesn't matter what you wish for, you get what you get, so be careful about really important things, like what you're doing to get what you wish for, dad used to answer...

======

Duke was eating his breakfast. He hadn't slept much, he hadn't dreamed, but his sleep was sound and restful. And once more he was getting a fix of a very, very, very insidious drug, which was also a very nutritious, and very vital one, perhaps the most important one for this modern world, sugar.

Once more, Brenda got in. She looked at Duke, who was putting flakes in his sugar.

-You know, it IS possible to get high off sugar.

-Are you kidding me?- Duke said.

-Yes. Do you know about base cocaine paste?

-What?

-A very, very dangerous drug. It's roughly got the effect of PCP, but you make it from cocaine... or more exactly, its residues. It's horribly cheap to make, much more addictive, and far more destructive on the system.

-Oh. I heard about it. It's making a mess in South America.

-Well, rehabilitation for it involves eating gruesome amounts of sugar. A pound a meal, roughly... no, wait, between meals, for a year, while you go with the drill for any other drug.

-A pound of sugar?- Duke exclaimed.

-Well, not really sugar. Jam. And not a pound, a quarter kilo.

-Hm, I could eat that.- he said, pouring milk onto his sugar with flakes.

-You know that sugar's bad for your teeth, right?

-Yes, so I brush them after every meal! Didn't you smell my minty breath?

-I thought that was a breath mint.- Brenda said, serving herself a cup of coffee.

Duke didn't answer. He just took a spoonful of flakes with milk (and partially dissolved sugar), and downed it. Brenda looked at him for three spoonfuls, and then took a sip of coffee.

-Anything wrong?- Duke asked.

-Yes. You wouldn't happen to have seen a red-headed, tall guy with raised, spotted cheeks, in good physical condition, with an oddly screechy voice, right?

-No.- Duke said.- You wouldn't happen to have seen a guy who answers to the name of Jebediah, right?

-Perhaps. What does he look like?

-Well, he has... short black hair, brown eyes, an average build, thin lips, and dresses in all the trappings of a recruit.

-I'm looking at him right now.- Brenda said, looking at Duke.

Duke shrugged.

-We must all look the same to you, right?

-No. One is black, and there's one who is an inch taller. There's also two I never saw.- Brenda shruged.

Duke nodded.

-Right.- he said.- Well, there's missing people... so I guess silly Jebediah was wrong in the end. Yes, there was a little risk after all.

Brenda sighed. Then she brought the cup to her lips again... seeing something that terrified her. She lowered the cup, and put it in the table, looking at her fingernails... seeing blue spots on them.

-By the way...- Duke said.- Nice lipstick.

-Lipstick?- Brenda asked.

-Yeah. That shade of blue goes well with your eyes.- Duke smiled.- Didn't know you could bring that here, my captain threw away my gameboy.

Brenda wasn't listening. She was more concerned with the fact she had gotten herself infected with the virus she was working on. And it seemed like it had worked really, really fast...

-This coffee tastes awful.- she said.- I think I'm awake now. See you, Duke.

Her voice betrayed her. But Duke didn't react quickly enough, and she dumped the coffee in the sink and disappeared through the door too quickly, leaving a bewildered recruit with a mistery in his hands and a suspicious individual in mind.

======

Meanwhile, the only two people who interest us, 2234 and 3268, were right now looking down at the sea, where the gravity led, with the spider's limbs stuck on the base of the platform that the building was based on. The sun was low in the sky, annoyingly enough.

-So look. We started out with five feet of spider, now we have fourteen feet of spider. After only three five-and-half-feet meals. What do you call it?

-Mostly hollow, and very longitudinal.- 3268 shrugged.- Hey, I'm bored of this spider. Let's go infect something else.

-Yeah!- 2234 said.- I never really got to do anything with that blonde, outside of turning her blue from the inside out. We could've had so much fun.

-I agree.- 3268 said.- But frankly, what would you've done? We're basically infecting something else with her. What could we do to make her more herself?

-Use squares or cubes.

3268 looked at the sun through the spider's eyes.

-In any case, we're not going to get anything done staring here at the sunset.- it said.- So let's get something done, okay?

-Yeah. But don't you think we need some more meat first?

-And how are you going to get it? We'll denature in cool water.

-We're inside of a host.

-It'll drown in cool water.

-Don't spiders swim?

-Do MUTATED spiders swim?

-Do you want to find out right here and now?

-Okay, we could... get the fishes out of the water.

-With what? I didn't bring a fishing rod, I'm no homo sapiens.

-So I'm the gay one?

-I said homo sapiens, not homosexual. Besides, why do you take offense at the idea of homosexuality? You don't reproduce sexually, you're a virus! You reproduce by making a cell assimilate your code and then kill itself producing copies of it!

-Yeah, kinda like a man, both cases.

-Oh, go screw yourself... but first, we've got things to do. Yes, we need more meat. No, we're not going to mine for fish. We're going to get in there again, eat something, and then bite someone. Okay?

-Okay.

One side of the sky was orange. The other one was purple. The spider headed for the purple side, and then scrambled up the side of a wall, crawling into an open window... finding itself in an office. Right now, there was no one there. There was a large vent, though, and they recognized it.

-Hey, if instead of stopping at the spider, we'd went on, we'd have ended up here, remember?

-Yes. Who was there?

-If I recall correctly, it was God.

-The guy who was against stem cell research?

-The guy who's approaching right now, hear his steps...

-I've got an idea...- 3268 said.- Pass me the controls.

Lieutenant Einstein approached his office, and spun the doorknob. Then he took a step in, and closed the door behind him. Then he was thrown to the ground, and flipped around several times... something enwrapped him, specially around the mouth.

He could barely see what was doing it; the many times it spun him made him dizzy. But eventually, it stopped.

-So I herd U don't liek stem cells...

He focused his eyes on the source of the voice... and then opened them very wide. But what he felt afterwards made him feel speechless.

-God?- it said.

It. Or she. In any case, it was a purple-brown thing. Large, but not massive; more like very tall and thin, more like a spider. But it was to a spider what a mandrake was to a ginger root... an oddly human creature. With two red eyes, on the front... why were they red? There was hair on its head... and it was a head, not a cephalothorax. Silvery hair, too. It had a mandible rather than quelicerae... and large canines. And it had arms. Were he a believer in the evolutionary theory, this could've made him contemplate the possibility that humans had descended from spiders rather than from primates. Actually he did believe in evolution, but right now it made him contemplate instead the possibility that someone had been playing with mutagens under his nose.

He tried to scream, but it didn't work. His vocal chords didn't answer.

-Don't try to scream...- it said, before producing a strange sound as it moved its mouth to bite him.

That same afternoon, the guy who pretended to be mute was also going around the mazelike building, trying to find Leslie, the man in charge of the surveillance room. Ironically, he got lost looking for the surveillance room. But in the end, he found it. The difference between the morning and the afternoon is at least eight hours, though... try not to think about it.

Opening the door, he found something horrible. So he took out his handgun already, and stepped into the room, pointing at something behind the door, before closing it with a kick. But no, there was nothing hiding behind the door.

There were bullet holes on the walls. Several screens were broken. There were bloodstains (and stains of something that wasn't blood) in the chair, not to mention a shredded boot on the ground. It didn't take a genius to realize what had happened... it only took someone who could see the oversized, insectlike leg on the ground.

He looked at the panels. The room looked small enough, and there wasn't enough rubble to hide anything that had legs of that size. But he kicked what he saw on the ground, seeing only yellowish lymph under it.

-Oh, god...- he said, searching the console for a button to sound an alarm. Yes, there was such a button. No, it wasn't available: someone or something had found it before him and tore it off.

So he instead looked for something else in the console. Perhaps there was something to sound... something to contact someone... no. Everything else was in that same shape. At least, he knew that Leslie had put up a fight.

Not that he had meant to put up any fights here.

======

It was only a matter of time before they sent Duke from the barracks to God's office to see what was happening. Actually, they didn't really send him. He just drew the short straw.

The path from the barracks to the lieutenant's office was short and simple, so he didn't get lost in the way. What he found, however, made him wish he had gotten lost instead. He approached the door... and heard something inside. There was a woman's voice. Well, it tried to sound like a woman. But it reverberated strangely; it was obviously not the acoustics of the room. And it sounded like its source was above the door's level.

-I wonder... what does God taste like?- the voice said, with no hint of need for privacy or shame.

Duke took his handgun. Then he opened the door... not yet aiming, since he thought there was a little chance all this was a practical joke of sorts. And he saw a desk... above the desk, a terribly big spiderweb. On the spiderweb... something, roughly fourteen feet around, which looked like a drow elf clutching to a spiderweb... and he remembered those eyes. Only that now they seemed bigger. And there was a cocoon... well, a ripped coccoon, with... half a "god" in it.

Okay, videogames had affected him. He took a deep breath, and tried to calm down, so the thing saw its chance and leapt on him. Immediately, he stepped back and closed the door. When the thing punched the door and through it, he realized it wasn't his imagination, raised his gun, and shot at her neck, several times...

Still not sure of what he was seeing, he saw it bellow an horrible screech, and then disappear through the window. He blinked for a moment, and then ran into the office, unsure of whether to look out of the window or not. In the end, he did... he looked through the window, and looked to the sides, above, and below... but found nothing except the sea and the sky.

"If something... let's call it a biological weapon... kills your commanding officer and has you trapped, what does protocol call for?" Duke thought. "Crap, I never got this one answer right... I suppose it calls for survival, and trying to contact someone..."

Putting his head back into the room, looking at the window strangely, aware that the beast, whatever it was, could once more enter the room and this time eat him, he decided to gather proof, and some sort of clearance card. Proof was easy. He just grabbed the trashcan, emptied it, and used the black bag inside it together with a small pocket knife to grab at the web without getting caught, cutting and pulling down slowly God's body. Who, as he read on the small plaque on the desk, was actually Lieutenant Einstein.

-I'll call you God.- he grimaced, seeing that God's head came off. The thing had really been thorough with God. Well, God's head would suffice. He put it in the black plastic bag from the trashcan, and tied it to his belt. Then he searched in the desk, quickly, for any maps of the complex, logs... something that would explain at least a little what the hell was a mutated spider-woman doing in that place. He didn't find anything of that matter; but he did find a folder with codes for a computer, a map, and... keys. After getting them, he quickly ran towards the barracks on the double...

======

...while the spider-thing had gotten back into a secret spot in the platform.

-We've been seen! We've been SEEN!

-Stay calm. What did protocol say we had to do if we were seen?

-There's no protocol! We're two damn mutagen virii!

-Yes, but there must be something we can do. Let's see. I am a soldier. I've seen a monster eat my captain...

-Lieutenant...

-Doesn't matter. What do I do now?

-Easy! You gather up your fellows to hunt for the monster!

-See!? It's not that difficult. We just have to get to his fellows first, and then do our thing.

-Mix them with the blonde?

-They aren't my type. Let's instead... what was that?

The spider heard something else. Something that heard it back. So, honoring the virtue attributed to it, the thing that heard the spider went towards it to see what it was, exposing itself at the same time.

-Look, it's the cat! At last I can kill that screechy thing!

-No you can't. We'll need it.

-We? What do you mean?

-We got shot, we're jumping ship.

-Hey, no need for that! We twisted this once, we can twist it back into shape!

-Yes, but do we want to twist it back into shape?

-Let's just fix this, and then jump ship, okay?

-Okay.

The collarbones in the mutation were right now yellow, exposed... flesh imitation. But that flesh quickly enough mutated into something purple, dripping a yellow liquid as it did. The small animal before it, an orange cat, approached the liquid. Where our favourite duo were.

-Weren't you forgetting something?

-Oh, yes. DNA bunshin!- 2234 exclaimed, replicating itself inside the spider to keep it functional.

The cat approached the liquid. And then licked it. There were only a few drops, so it quickly licked it all, for your amusement.

-And here we go again!

First, the cat dropped on its side. Then it stretched... and then it kept stretching forth, while it thickened. Its paws split and lengthened, forming, eventually, fingers. Finally, the effect was complete as the fur itself folded back into its skin, the pink darkened slightly, the face lengthened vertically, and the ears bent around the head.

The new species stood up, and looked at its reflection in a nearby wall.

-Hadn't we seen this somewhere too?- 3268 asked.

-Yes, I've got good taste.- 2234 answered.

The mutated cat (herreafter referred to as "catgirl") turned around, and smiled.

-Okay, to the barracks. I'm having a few soldiers for dinner.

It wasn't long before it found its target, and got there before Duke did, too. Duke had spent too much time in God's office. Deciding against hitting everyone at the same time, it waited in the bathroom instead.

The bathroom seemed... serviceable. But that was all. It showed quite a bit of neglect, but what public bathroom doesn't? At least it had no graffitti on its green tile walls, and the paint in the ceiling was all in the ceiling.

Eventually, one soldier entered. Alone. This recruit (herreafter referred to as "Wally") was one of the two that Brenda had never seen. As a distinguishing trait, he had short, blonde hair, instead of short, black hair.

He approached an urinal, pondering the events of this day. First, Jebediah didn't come back. Second, that guy who had pretended to be mute (also his best friend. Wally knew that he wasn't mute, but that didn't keep him from allowing him a little harmless fun once in a while) and whose name we still haven't expressed, was still out there. Well, he didn't worry, not yet. What was the worst that could happen? Nothing had come in, nothing had come out, at best it was an accident, at worst it was a pissed off employee with a gun. All that caution he was taught had obviously not stuck in.

One of the toilet doors opened. He didn't look back.

-Hi.- he said.

-Hi.- she answered.

Wally finished quickly, raised his zipper, and then turned around.

-This is the men's bathroom...

...and then cat got his tongue. The fact she was naked also helped.

She sidled slowly towards him. His eyes were locked on hers, for the time being. Then she ran a hand on her collarbone... and his gaze fell to a more interesting place.

-I supposed...- 2234 started.

-...I'd find men in here, right?

Wally still didn't answer. It'd be too embarassing to talk to someone while he was looking at her chest. But well, eventually the novelty wore off and he raised his eyes.

-Who are you?

-I'm 3268, this is 2234, we're variations on the artificial YTR virus. We're here to assimilate you.

-I'm Brenda.- it answered, smiling, telling him the only woman's name it knew. She was already only three feet away from him... and already he was starting to regret having raised his zipper. Knowing conversation was the only way (well, one of the few ways that wouldn't break the atmosphere) to keep him from thinking anything useful, such as "where the hell did this come from" and "could this be related to the fact we've had two missing people today", the catgirl tried another question. -And you?

-My... name is... Wally...- he said, slowly. She was already two feet away, and hadn't yet found resistance.

-Wally. Tell me something kinky to answer to this moron!- 2234 screamed.

-I don't know! I'm a virus, not some sort of slut professor!

-Well, if we don't think of anything, we're not...

-Tee hee! I can't think of another thing to say...- she grinned.

Wally swallowed. She was one feet away.

-Okay, I know the one-liner here!- 3268 said.- Pass me the controls!

She was one feet away... she put her left arm around his neck, looking up into his eyes, fondling slowly the muscles between neck and right shoulder...

-You're so dense...- 2234 said.- What sort of mongrel stock were you bred from?

-You're so tense...- the catgirl said.- Why is that?

Finally, he didn't answer. 3268 looked carefully.

-Is that lust or gas?- he asked.

-Let's check.

She poked him in the belly. And then, the question answered, she finally leaned her neck upwards, and kissed him... excuse me a moment. I think I'll be in the bathroom.

He opened his mouth, pleased to take her, there and now if he could. He bit her teeth, and her tongue, and tasted her... she had a strange taste, like blood, like iron... the taste sent a shiver down his spine, and a little acelleration into his heart. But he didn't stop. Being unaware if what he felt was real or not could slow reactions and dull common sense.

He felt she was leaning forward with her crotch. His hands, one from his zipper and one from the side of his pants, left their posts at once and found their way to her thigh and her back. He leaned forward, still feeling the taste of iron, still unsure of whether that was real or not. But if it was, he was sure he wouldn't let the chance go to waste. Yes, despite that if it was real, he was in deep trouble.

He lifted her, and staggered forward. She was so light, almost like a cat. Then he staggered towards the mirror, where there was a surface. Placing her between two faucets, he quickly fumbled for his zipper and opened what he had closed only moments ago. Hastily, he found his way between her legs, into a tight space he and his kin lusted after. Leaning forward, he braced her against the wall, and thrust deeper into his doom, putting his knees on the small table on which every faucet is mounted, spreading his own legs as well... until, too shortly after for anyone's taste, he was done. Sweating, and gasping, he looked deep into her eyes...

...with his lust slaked, his common sense found its way back. Only a moment too late, as he felt how the saliva he swallowed seemed to cut a searing hole in his stomach. He frowned for a moment, but then she pushed him off the surface, perhaps meaning to crack his skull against the ground. Perhaps she wanted to keep playing, on the ground this time. But the result was the same, and it was deadly... terrifyingly enough, he kept shaking for a moment before he finally died. She pounced on him, and sniffed his neck, with a smile that didn't come off. Like a dolphin's.

Then she started eating.

Almost thirty minutes later, Duke charged into the barracks, with a man's head enwrapped in spiderwebs tied to his waist. He found them, surprisingly enough, empty. Even the bathroom door was open, but it had always been. He didn't hear anything coming from it, so he ignored it, and ran off.

Walking out of the bathroom, an almost eight feet tall (the height you'd expect of a slim humanoid build with three hundred eighty pounds of flesh behind) feminine figure licked its lips clean of blood... and other things. Then it spat a furball... that included some flesh from a scalp. And walked out the same door Duke had.

======

With this, we have two soldiers down: Jebediah and Wally. We still have Robert and Oscar clueless, while Duke and the one who had pretended to be mute are aware of the situation. We also have Captain Clueless and Lieutenant Dead. There's also the fact that Brenda is aware of the situation, and there are other people in the complex, people whom these recruits have had no reason to meet. What could come next?

======

What could come next was that Brenda had understood nothing important since she understood that she'd caught a virus that turned her tissues blue. She wondered if the people missing had caught that too. If they had died, or lost motor function, or threw themselves into the sea to contain the infection. Right now, she was locked in her room with her own fears, a mirror and a recorder, where she endlessly recorded, hour after hour, how she saw no new symptoms.

Meanwhile, a copy of 2234, still in the spider, was arguing with a copy of 3268, wondering where to next. They could hit the lab wing again and eat some scientists. But they had other priorities: finding and infecting something else.

-So we could hit the room with the guinea pigs, you know.- 3268 said.

-Yes, we... We have a guinea pigs room?

-I think they called it something like specimens, or test subjects... in any case, there are mice there.

-Really? Let's go! Mice are cute!

-Says a virus hellbent on killing them.

-That's my definition of cute: that makes you do what you want to them.

-So, everything's cute to you?

-Yeah. Except rocks.

Scrambling into an open window, the spider found its way to a white, large room meant for lunch breaks (which Brenda, for some reason, never used). There were six people there... which when they saw the spider, screamed.

-Why would you do that?- 3268 asked.

-Well, when we get to them, they'll need food.- 2234 said.- So let's weave some coccoons before we spread.

-Reasonable enough...

The she-spider advanced. Then it spun a web in the door it had came through, and leapt into the next door, not before two people escaped. Nevertheless, it wove webs on that door too, sealing it shut. Then it turend around, looking at the four cornered people... before biting each of them and spinning two coccoons (one on three of them and another on a single one).

At the same time, Oscar and Robert were doing target practice, in a neglected room with crates and coat hangers. Duke got there... and stopped short of bumping into a bullet with his head.

-Robert! Oscar!- he shouted.- Good I found you...

-Duke? What's the matter?- Oscar asked. Robert, the one which Brenda described as "one inch taller", just looked at him.

-It's hard to describe... but God is dead.- he gasped, taking the bag from his waist and showing them the severed head.

-What the hell!?- Robert shrieked.- What did that?

-I don't know! It looked like a spider... but it was too sexy.- he grimaced.- Or like a woman, but like a spider... I don't know what it is, and I don't care. If you shoot it, it goes away. If you don't, you end up like him.- he grunted for a moment before continuing.- I got this from his desk... he's dead, he doesn't care. We need to reach the surveillance room, there's equipment there to alert the rest of this... is this a base, or what do we call it?- he finished, wild-eyed.

-I think they called this "The Spearman".- Robert said.- So, I guess it's a "station", like in "Lost".

-Station it is, then.- Oscar said.- Okay, where to the surveillance room?

-Let me check the map...- Duke chirped, nerves having better things to do than adjusting his voice. Before he could, something went off on the whole base. Some sort of... alarm, judging from the red lights and the noise. It sounded like an alarm. It was followed by a recorded voice that spoke "Code 3314".

-What's code 3314?- Oscar asked.- You got the codes list there?

-Yeah, it's on this folder.- Duke said, passing him the folder. Oscar checked the table, until he found it.

-"Code 3314" means... "mutant loose on the laboratory side"?- Oscar grimaced.- They were counting on this?

-Well, just look at code 5514. "Baby on board the helicopter. Bring diapers". Or code 3368. "Frodo refuses to discard the One Ring into the Orodruin. Send a specialist to correct the situation." They either planned for everything, or...

-Right now, that overplanning worked.- Duke frowned.- Okay, there's a mutant on the lab, there's another loose in our side that looks like a spider. Someone must go into the surveillance room, at least two have to stop the other one in the lab. Who goes where?

-Well...

-Robert, come with me to the lab. Oscar, go towards the surveillance room. Shoot anything that isn't human.- Duke grimaced.- Damn, I thought I'd never get to say that!

-You tell me.- Robert shrugged.- Okay, let's go, Duke... do you think our sidearms will do?

-Yeah. Or at least, I hope we find a rocket launcher or experimental weapon of some sort somewhere...

======

Meanwhile, the captain (she, if you don't remember), who had brown eyes and black, short hair, if you don't remember, aside from nothing else that I considered worth mentioning... no, wait. She had a cap. And more badges, too. She also had a larger pistol than any of the men, subtext aside, it was actually a revolver. At that point, she was just sitting on a bench, in one of the countless hallways in that giant, mazelike platform in the middle of the sea, in her head, doing her taxes.

Then she heard the alarm, sighed, and listened carefully to the code. Three, three, one, four.

That was either the code for the mutant or the baby aboard the helicopter. Since that last code didn't involve an alarm, that meant it was the other one.

Not quite pleased by the action, she took her sidearm, and backtracked her steps towards her quarters. For what reason they hadn't put a single barracks for everyone, she didn't know. Perhaps this place had been meant for more than it was currently used to; the amount of empty room was staggering. But it didn't matter.

Eventually she got there. Unlike the barracks, her room had a window. And a hammock rather than a bed: an idea that stuck on her since her time in Bolivia. Nevertheless, she wasn't looking for either thing. She opened a small trunk under her hammock, and pulled out several objects. Putting them together, she had a rifle in no time. Her revolver had more punch in each bullet, but it also had only three loaders with six shots.

And yet meanwhile, the spider was enjoying the view of the lab. In it, it found what would be its own weapons: dozens of guinea pigs, white mice, pigs of every size and color, not to mention the rabbits, dogs, small birds, and chimpanzees. But it only had so much food. So, to maximize efforts... it opened all the cages. Instinctively, they assembled in front of it. First, it looked at a guinea pig.

-So tell me about yourself.

-I'm a guinea pig, and I can have over 400 young a year.

-So, you're fertile.

-Certainly! By the way, what are we going to do?

-Oh, we're going to kill and eat humans.

-But I'm a vegetarian?

-You weren't omnivores? Oh, sorry.- the spider said, taking the files, and fiddling with a couple seals.- Okay, you're the guinea pigs, right?

-Yes. Why?

The spider stamped something on a folder. Then it handed the folder to the dozen guinea pigs on the ground. It had a red stamp that read "Food".

-Uh oh.

Then the spider looked at the white mice.

-We can eat meat!- they said.

-Good.- it said, stamping "Thrall" on the folder with the research data on the white mice.

-Eating? We're in!- the pigs said.

Looking at them twice, the spider stamped "Food" on their folder. Then it looked at the rabbits... and took the "Food" seal.

-But we're so cute!- they exclaimed.

-Okay...- KER-THRALL!

-We're cute too.- a small dog said.- Just look at my pal, the hairless chihuahua here...

The spider looked at each of them. And then, it stamped "Food" on their folder.

A small terrier made puppy eyes at it. The chihuahua approached and licked its feet.

-You're so cute...- the spider said. Then it stamped "Food" several times, strongly, on the folder, again.

-I just want to make it clear, we shall not harm our primate kin.- a chimpanzee expressed.

-Good.- the spider said.- You're almost as big as them anyway. "Food"!

-And us?- a bird asked.

-And you...- the spider shrugged. Then it stamped something on another folder... which a bird promptly read.

-What do you mean by "snack"?- was the last idea it ever could attempt to express.

However, there was still something else. A few more spiders, unlike this one, on the back.

-Hey, what about us?

-About you?- it repeated.- Dessert.

-Okay, food on this side, thralls on the other, the snacks are already in me, the dessert stays there... I want to make this clear, we only have one shot at this. There are only four soldiers, we get all of them before they get us and we're fine enough to eat everyone else at our leisure... what are you doing here?- it asked a small guinea pig, standing on the "thrall" side, between two rabbits.

-I think I can change my diet.

-You traitor!

-Hey, I'm doing this to survive...

======

Duke and Robert found their way to the biohazard door. But this time, it wasn't open. He tried to bribe the card reader again, but this time, it had more integrity. So instead, he checked the cards that he had taken from Lt. Einstein's desk, eventually finding one which he guessed would open the door.

He guessed right, for once. The door opened... he was surprised to find almost twelve people hiding in that place. Duke approached them... his eyes skimming over them, realizing Brenda wasn't among them.

-We're aware of the situation.- Duke said.- Giant spider-woman-something?

-Yes.- one man answered him. This individual looked young, but rather scruffy, aside from the labcoat.- How did you know?

-It left me this memento...- Duke grunted, pulling out the lieutenant's head, much to the chagrin of all those involved.- What did it do on that side?

- It's caught four people, and then it went towards the place where we keep the testing animals. It's going to eat them... or worse.

-What could be worse?

-Let's not think about it, let's prevent it, whatever it is.- Robert interrupted.- Okay, where through?

-You'll have to go through the airlock. We're going to be here, between the airlock and the biohazard door. We should be safe...

-Do you have any weapons?- Robert asked.

-No.- the man answered.

-Hm.- Robert said.- It's too late to go back and find them one, and we're not going to go through unless we're sure we outnumber that thing. We can't stay, we shouldn't leave you all to your fate...

-Don't worry about us.- the man said.- This place is safe.

Duke sighed.

-If you say so. You've been here longer than we have. We'll come back once we've dealt with this, okay?- he said.- By the way, where's Brenda?

-Brenda's been in her room all day...- he answered.- I can't tell you more.

-Very well. Open the airlock for us.

The man introduced a few numbers. The airlock opened.

-There's nothing really hazardous in that lab, you should be fine.

-I know you are, but what am I?- YTR-4487 asked.

Duke and Robert went through the airlocks, crossed through the lab, opened the door on the other side, and left.

-Whose idea is it to use a hazardous workspace as a connection between two places, anyway?- Duke wondered, before he crossed into another side of the building. Here, the walls were painted white, rather than being raw steel. He also saw a lot more signs of life: whether signs next to the doors, windows, or what you will, this place was definitely inhabited.

Eyeing strangely a potted plant next to a trashcan, Duke decided he'd used the lieutenant's head enough already. Besides, his hip was starting to hurt. So he discarded it. Then he ran towards... the place where they kept the lab animals. He guessed the word was "Bioterium". At least, it was the one that sounded the most like it; if it wasn't, the map wasn't helping him.

Shortly before he got to the bioterium, he was surprised to find... another variation on the mutant he expected to see. Only that this time, the woman was so much smaller... only five feet four, four inches shorter than him, rather than a colossal thing he identified as a monster from the start, and her ears and nose seemed... particular. The hairless tail above her rear was also an intriguing feature.

-Don't shoot!- she shouted.- Please, don't shoot!- she went on her knees, putting her hands above her head.

-Tell us what happened here and stay down!- Duke shrieked. He was still shaken up from the spider.

-We were... caught in the kitchen... the spider bit us...- the mutation improvised.- And then we were like this!

He shrugged.

-So your name is?

-My name is Brenda.- she answered, with the only name she knew.

-Brenda...?- Duke's eyes went wide in horror.- Brenda...

-Who's Brenda? What's going on here?- Robert asked.

Duke looked away, turned around, and shrugged, breathing heavily.

-What's my name?- Duke asked.

-What...?- both Robert and "Brenda" asked.

-What's my name, Brenda?

Brenda blinked.

-Why would I know your name?

-How old are you, Brenda?

-Wh... what are you getting at?

-You're not Brenda...- Duke grunted, putting his gun to her head. The metal one.

-What? My name's Brenda! Honestly!- it lied. Then Duke shot her... before Robert's amazed eyes, throwing the contents of her newly enlarged skull into the ground, and blanking her eyes for the last time.

-What the hell was that?- Robert asked.

-Nothing. I just know it was lying. Don't trust any of them...- Duke grimaced.- Shoot anything that isn't human.

Robert shook his head.

-Stop.- he said.

-What?

-Explain this to me, and do it right.

-I met Brenda before. This wasn't Brenda. It only had her name.

-Oh, you should've told me.- Robert sighed.- This is creepy.- he said, omitting the possibility that someone else at the complex was called Brenda too. Perhaps because when they asked that man, he only knew of one Brenda.

-Damn creepy.- Duke sighed.- And it can only get creepier.

So they ran, once more, towards the bioterium. By the time they arrived, it was empty. There was a lot of blood... and they were sure not a drop was human. Ignoring the broken and opened cages, ignoring the bloody coccoons strewn carelessly on the ground, they looked at each other for a moment and then kept running down the hallway.

-But the bioterium's empty. Do you think that means...- Robert started.

-Means what?- Duke asked.

-Well, there was a mouse, you told me you saw a spider, and they both were so... she... do you think that we've seen a pattern?

-I hope not.

-You don't know what you want.- the remainder of the airborne 3268 told him. Not that we ever listen to virii.

-And where are we going?

-Private quarters... if there's anyone still in there, we've got to save them.

-Isn't it too...?

-You saw it died with a shot, we've got guns, they don't, we're fine.- Duke said.

-I saw it die with a shot to the head. Can you do that again, against a target that didn't surrender?

-Yes I can.- Duke said.- Not that I think I'd have to.

Once they found the private quarter doors... they also found the source of all their worries. A large, four-legged spider with fingers, toes, two red eyes, and a mane of white hair.

-Oh boy!- Robert shouted, aiming his sidearm and firing at its head. Instead he hit its shoulder... and then the spider disappeared down a corner. Duke looked at the doors... some of them were torn off, the bloodstains told him all he needed to know. Luckily, none of the plates read "Brenda"... yet.

Running down the hallway, chasing the spider, Duke and Robert found... that the spider was really fast. There was a T-intersection twenty feet forward, and it had already taken it. They chased, each aiming their sidearm at one side as they turned, but they found no strange thing, until Duke saw, finally, a door that was whole. He heard a scream, and recklessly ran towards that door.

-Duke! No!- Robert shouted, running behind him. But Duke had already read the label on the door... and it was the one he was looking for. As he approached the door, he felt that the scream died out... and that it came from the door opposite the one that was still closed. He turned around, quickly, but not quickly enough... something else caught him from the side, and hammered him against that door.

-AAaa!- Duke shouted, feeling the wound weaken him, a strange smell of violence, and the warmth of blood spilled from his temple. He felt how it was going to smash him again; he tried to raise an arm, put it between his head and the door, but his arm was too weak. He needed to recover, but it wouldn't give him the time... was it the end?

A couple shots from Robert changed that. The thing behind him almost disappeared, and Duke dropped to his knees, panting.

-My head...- he gasped.- My head...

-Are you okay? Stay with me!- Robert yelled.

-I'll live...- Duke said, standing up weakly.- I'm just a bit shaken up...- he wiped some blood off his temple. Then he tried the doorknob... but it was locked. Reasonable, or else those things would've gotten there already.

-Brenda, are you there? I'm Duke!

-Go away!- a voice said, from within.

-What...?- Duke started. But he lost no time. Straight-out and without asking twice, full of adrenaline, clenching his teeth, and slightly out of his mind, he stood back and kicked the door, breaking its lock before Robert's amazed eyes.

-How'd you do that...?

-Dad was a locksmith, I can tell a cheap lock when I see one.- Duke blurted, entering the room.- Brenda?

Brenda was there. But now she didn't wear a labcoat. Instead, she was wearing a shirt, jeans, and boots. Not showing an inch of flesh if she could avoid it. Her posture was also hunched, with her arms around her chest, as if she was scared, or hiding something.

-Brenda! What's wrong?

-Those things...- she said.- They almost got me...- Duke didn't pay any attention to the recorder on the table besides her bed... or to her bed, or to the table next to it, or to the rest of the furniture in the room.

-Well, great they didn't.- Duke huffed.- We'd better get out of this place, put you with the rest of the people. They're hiding at the lab.

-The lab...?- Brenda smirked for a moment.

-By the way, do you know what's going on?- Robert asked, frowning.

-No. Not at all. All I know is that I'm scared.- she lied... to a degree.- Why?

-Well, we asked one of the mutations, and it said its name was Brenda too.

Stabs · 01-27-2009

Chaos stage three: up the ante.

-Well, we asked one of the mutations, and it said its name was Brenda too.

Brenda shuddered.

-What's wrong?- Robert asked.

-I... just...- she whimpered.- I don't know.

A short pause followed.

-Okay, let's go.- Duke said.

Robert peeked out of the door, and looked around. Brenda looked at Duke's head. This man was slightly hunched now, and the fire in his eyes had sputtered and died.

-What... happened to your head?

-Something banged my head against your door.- he answered, slowly.

Robert motioned at Brenda. She followed him. Duke went last, watching the back, his movements giving a hint of weakness.

-Does it hurt?- she asked.

-Like hell.- he answered.

-What was that something like?

-I never saw it.

-I did: it was white, about fourteen feet tall, and had a short fluffy tail.- Robert said.- And it tried to kill you. Let's move, okay?

Oddly enough, the three of them managed to get back to the lab's door. Not before they saw something on the way... something to drive them further into despair. The corpse they had left on the way to the private quarters... had disappeared. And the blood on the ground, rather than clotted or flowed, had wafted into goo. Robert didn't know whether to step on it or not.

-Brenda, what should we do about this?- he asked, pointing at the goo.

Brenda looked at it for a moment.

-Oh my word! What is this?

-It... used to be blood.- Duke said.

-From a mutation?

-Yes.- Duke said.- Do you need a sample?

-I...- she doubted.- don't... yes.- she finally said.

Duke took something from his pocket. A discarded bullet case and tissue paper. Holding the bullet case with the tissue paper, he put some of the goo on it. He was amazed when he felt that the consistency on the outside was different from the one on the inside...

-Oh god...- he said.

-What?

-There's bones inside this lump.- he grimaced.

-Let's get the hell outta here.- Robert said.- Don't step on it.

Robert leapt above the stains. So did Brenda, surprisingly. Duke almost didn't make it, but he did. And so, they got to the lab... again. With Brenda. Who promptly got to explain something... after refusing to go through the airlock, deciding to stay in the clean room.

-I think I know what's happening.- she said, once she was with the fourteen other people.- Look, everyone...- she said, holding down her lips... showing that her gums were blue. Then she removed her arm from her chest, where she had been hiding a blue stain.- This is the work of the YTR 2234 or 3268 strains... it's reasonable to believe that some virii somehow escaped and infected... me, for example, and that some other virii have mutated before infecting something else.

-You're infected with one of the virii here?- one person asked.

-The 2234 and 3268 strains, I think, and they're harmless anyway.- she cleared.

-No we're not!- 2234 protested.

-They couldn't be responsible for the monsters we... some of us have seen.- she shook her head.- We brought a sample of blood from one of those creatures. There's no need to take any more risks, people. Don't try to come in. I'll do this.

-But I'm a better genetist.- one tall, bald man said.- I could help you.

-He's right.- a shorter, younger man said.- Just let us prepare the computer, and we'll do it from here. Risk-free.

Brenda doubted for a moment.

-Okay. Get everything ready.

-So you don't need us here anymore?- Duke asked.

-No. Robert can go. You, Duke, you need to get that wound looked at...

-I'll either live through this, or not. There's nothing else to do about it.- Duke said.

-Do we have a say on this?- 2234 asked.- I still am somewhat in the air. Want to go and infect him?

-No, leave that guy alone!- 3268 said.- Didn't you see the size of his white cells?

-That's not going to stop me, and you know it...

-I... think he's not your type.- 3268 said.

-And what's your type?

-Something with tissues other than the ones you already know and have little love for. Want again to go work on human marrow and fat?

-I could bandage your wound...

-Okay. But wait until I clean it, first.- Duke said.- That's the men's bathroom?

-No, that's the cardboard-cut scarecrows' bathroom.

======

On the other side, the captain had already gotten back to God's office. God, in this case, meant Lieutenant Einstein (you see why he took an alias...), the man in charge of the platform. She was surprised to find the place turned upside down... or the headless, limbless, and half-eaten body in the middle of a colossal spiderweb hanging from the ceiling. She was frankly surprised. Yes, it definitely had been the code for mutant attack.

======

And on yet another side, the guy who pretended to be mute had, on the way back to God's office, had met up with Oscar.

-Oscar!

-Mutie!

-Call me Manfred.- the guy who had pretended to be mute said, at last.- I've got to see God. There's...

-...mutants of some sort, I know.- Oscar interrupted.- God's been killed. We had to go to the surveillance room and...

-...the surveillance room's been torn apart. Something killed Leslie and took out everything in there...- Manfred added.

-Well, that's just great! We'll have to improvise. Allow me your communicator, perhaps...

Manfred took his communicator and gave it to Oscar.

-Push this button in case of ship sighted?- Oscar grimaced.- Okay, we're royally screwed.

-Perhaps not.- Manfred hummed.- Perhaps we can still warn someone... there has to be a control tower up there somewhere. You know, for the helicopters.

-I don't know, control towers are usually in airports or other places that expect planes rather than helicopters...

-Yes, but there has to be a radar tower...

-Did you see any radars on the way here?- Manfred asked.

-The helicopter didn't exactly have windows. Let's hope there is one, or else...

-Okay. How do we get there?

Oscar scratched his head.

-We'd have to find a way up... Duke had a map. We'll find either him or his spiderweb-encased corpse on the laboratory.

-So where is the lab?- Robert asked.

======

Back to the captain, since I want to finish this and I've still got seventeen people to kill, irradiate, maim, cripple, and #$@?%, and be sexy about it...

Just after entering, she pointed a rifle around. Nothing to the left. Nothing to the right. Nothing above. Nothing out of the window... she hoped. Nothing hiding behind the door. The hanging meat didn't have anything to say. However, something was... straight behind her, hoping to catch her unawares. Which it did, pouncing, and pinning her to the ground.

She felt something large, but not extremely heavy on top of her. It had a warm breath, and... long bones. Very long bones. She tried to struggle, and in the end, she freed one hand, but it wasn't enough to maneuver the rifle, which the thing still had pinned to the ground. So instead she turned around, seeing...

...one weird, weird thing. Weren't it for the ears, it could've sworn it was an eight-foot tall woman. The thing didn't explain the spiderwebs, though, but not that she cared particularly. It wasn't human, that's all she needed to know. And so she drew her revolver and fired at its heart... but missed, due to shaky hands, excessive adrenaline, and some subconscious blockage resulting from the fact that she still didn't really believe what had just happened. These three reasons could've been written as only one, but I don't know how to.

In any case, the thing (herreafter referred to as (giant) catgirl [f] or beast [n]) swung the paw she had released herself from to knock the revolver off her hands before she had a chance for a sucessful shot. Now the catgirl was bleeding through her side, but it didn't seem to care. She was bleeding on the captain, whose surprise knew no bounds. She needed to get away, and get a chance for another shot. If she also managed to calm down, a shot on the neck was also a certainty. She'd have shot at the head, but its head was way too big. There was a chance she didn't take out enough brain to kill it. The spine, instead... a shot on it was certain death. It had to be.

But right now, she was pinned by the elbow by a 350-pound, yet not fat... cat or woman. She looked quite young, perhaps cat or girl? What did it matter, anyway? She tried to pull her elbow out of her grip, bracing herself by the foot on the doorframe... it didn't work. A sly smile formed on the catgirl's face.

"Cats like to toy with their prey before they eat it." she remembered. "If I get out of this, Felix, I'm going to send you to the city pound..."

Thinking again, she extended her free arm towards the revolver. There was a metre of difference, but it was a feint. After a moment, the cat's free arm flew towards her arm... and that's what she wanted. Bracing herself on the ground, with her back, she pushed down with her free arm, tried to raise her other arm... but wasn't able to; even leaning on the other side, the beast was way too strong. So she tried one last thing, moved her arm out of the hand's way, and punched her opponent in the neck. It is more deadly than on the face, as any practitioner of ninjutsu (real life, not anime) can tell you.

She was surprised when all she got was an angry snarl and a slap on her side. But she didn't stop. She kept struggling... and finally the catgirl pinned down both her arms. With that, she tried everything... kicking (which she couldn't make effective, due to lack of leverage), headbutting (she couldn't reach anywhere important), and finally, she tried to move her hip. As if waiting for that, the catgirl dropped its entire weight on top of her.

Feeling two mounds of flesh on her... belly, since they were meeting eye to eye, feeling a belly on her... legs, she spoke out loud.

-What the hell?- she asked.

-Oh, shut up and enjoy it.- was all the answer she obtained.

-You can speak?

-Yes, I can.- it answered, proudly.- Can you stop trying to kill me?

-No. I need to know, what happened here?

-To me, it's a miracle...- she smiled.- A miracle I mean to share with you...

-What do you mean...?- was all she accomplished to say, before something stopped her mouth. And then she felt something else in it... something with traces of hair. Lots of hair. Rather dry, but...

She finally managed to get the thing away from her.

-I don't swing that way!- she shouted.- I like men!

-So do I! Medium, well-done, or rare?- the catgirl asked, baring her teeth.

-What?- she asked.

-You said you liked men. So do I. Do you like them medium, well-done, or rare?

-Wait. Are you trying to tell me... you killed him?- she asked, pointing at the thing on the ceiling.

-No. Not him.- she said.- I didn't kill anyone; I just wait until they die. Men are so fragile. They just fall on their head... and what do you have? Meat!- she smiled, again.

-But... if you didn't, who killed him?

-How would I know?- she asked.- I've been sentient for barely two hours.

-So you don't know what killed him?

-I can think of something... it looks like you, only around ten times bigger... and a bit more spiderlike.

-Spider...- she hummed.- It makes sense.

-Well, it does, don't you think? It was either a spider, or a silkworm, or some creature who tears off its hair-thin tendons and weaves them into stuff.- 2234 commented.

-Whatever. Why are you trying to infect her? She's just human, there'll be no effect.

-For the hell of it, why else?- 2234 answered.- Also, what do you mean there'll be no effect? Come on, let's jump ship again.

======

Duke and Robert were on the lab. Something knocked on the door.

-Who's that?- Duke asked.

-You're it.- a voice hissed from behind.

Duke opened the door. Behind the door, there was a large spider with only four limbs and a humanoid countenance, clicking its jaws together.

-You're it.- it repeated, hissing.

-Oh, right.- Duke said. Then it reached out and patted it in the forehead.- Tag, you're it.- it said, closing the door. Then he blinked, and opened it again, realizing something.

-Weren't you on the other side of the building?- Duke asked.

-Yes, but I went around the outside wall.- the spider answered.

-Oh.- Duke nodded.- So, what brings you here?

-I was just looking for food.

-Ah, food.- Duke nodded.- The pantry's over there.

-I know where the pantry is, I'm not stupid.- the spider said.- But I eat only living flesh.

-Oh, well... you know, I think actually I'm dead. Don't I look dead, Robert?

-Of course you're dead, Duke! Just like the fourteen scientists behind us!

-See? Everyone's dead. There's no food here.- Duke said.- Please go away.

-I would, but you missed a detail. Something I told you.- the spider hissed.

-What?

-That I'm not stupid!- it gargled, as Duke closed the door and put his weight to keep it closed, looking at everyone.- If anyone has an experimental raygun, now would be a good time to tell us...

The scientists looked at each other.

-No? Good thing I've got a Glock, then.- Duke hummed. Then one limb went through the door, creating a hole right next to his ear. So did another one. And then another limb went right between his loins. He walked away, slowly, as the limbs once more went behind the door... and then the spider threw the door down. He and Robert aimed at the thing, as everyone else hid in the bathrooms... they shot at its head, trying to kill it... but seemingly, when it covered its head with a hand, its keratinous hands were resilient enough to block bullets. One of its fists went towards Robert, who dropped on his back to avoid it. Then it got swung downwards... he rolled away, and then another limb went towards Duke's face. He attempted to turn, then realized he'd show the weak side of his skull, get it crushed and lose his brains. So he turned the other way in mid-turn, and finally, received the blow straight on his face, staggering backwards and bending his chest forward to avoid hitting his head as he dropped. He hit the ground with his ass, and then with his back, he kept his head down... or up, and finally, managed to avoid hitting his head. Not that it helped him too much... he started feeling a strange scent which his brain identified with "death". He opened his eyes, seeing the spider-woman-something manage finally to drive its hungry mouth towards Robert's stomach, and tear a bloody chunk off, killing him instantly.

Duke turned his sidearm towards the thing, and shot at its mouth... but it had no effect. Whatever he was seeing, it was off by at least ten degrees... his sense of balance still hadn't recovered. The thing roared at him, then stepped forward... and then someone finally managed to kill it, judging from the fact that it stopped moving as something green flew out of its temple.

Duke pulled the trigger again, but no bullets came out.

======

The scientists willingly put on latex gloves and carried the spider through the airlock, to Brenda. Meanwhile, Manfred and Oscar had gotten there.

-Duke! That spider...- Manfred blinked.

-Weren't you mute?

-Quit it.- Manfred said.

-Anyway, do we know what's going on, now?- Oscar asked.

-I think not.- Duke said.- Brenda thinks that some virii from this lab got loose and mutated, but she only thinks that because she caught one.

-Wait, who's Brenda?- Oscar asked.

-She's Brenda.- Duke said, pointing at the woman with blue stains on her body, dissecting the spider-woman behind the window.

-Oh.- Oscar said.- What did she catch?

-Just a harmless something that makes things blue.

-I know you are, but what am I?- 2234 asked.

-Anyway, what news do you have?- Duke asked.

-Well... God's dead, and the recon room is shot. We need something else. Can we take a look at the maps again?

-Sure.- Duke nodded, taking something from under his vest.- There you go.

-Oscar thinks there should be another way to contact the US, that there could be a control tower or radar somewhere.

-There should. There also should be a weapons stash hidden somewhere; this place is roomy, it is convenient in case of war to keep weapons hidden throughout the globe.- Duke thought out loud.

Oscar looked.

-Yes, and... yes.- he said.

-What?

-There is a weapons stash, but it's only for destroyer ammo. There is also a control tower.

-Destroyer ammo?

-So does it read here.- Oscar pointed, showing Duke the map.

-Ah, right. Destroyer, as in battleship, cruiser... You almost got me thinking of mass destruction weapons.

-Actually, there is.- he said.- Here it says there is a nuclear-powered artillery shell, programmed for defusal in... no, it says it expired in 2001.

-Only a year before the US withdrew all those shells.- Duke hummed.- How convenient. Never defused, because it did on its own... do you think it's still radioactive?

-Why?

-I wanted to poison those things slowly.- Duke said.- No, just curious.

Oscar hummed.

-Let's not digress. This place isn't safe anymore, that door is torn off, and god knows how many more of those things are loose around.

-God's dead.- Duke said, standing up. Brenda knocked on the glass.

-You might want to come here for a moment, guys.- she said.

Duke looked at them... and then went through the airlock, approaching the Blue Woman.

-What, Brenda?- Duke asked.

-Say, what rank are you, Duke?- Brenda asked.

-I'm just a... recruit.- Duke said.

-Okay, recruit...

-Refer to us as soldier.- Duke added.

-Okay, soldier.- Brenda smiled.- I've solved a few mysteries. These mutations are viral, affected by different strains of the same YTR virii that are turning me blue.- she started.- At some point, it looks like we went horribly right with the virus, and it became indeed able to infect any kind of cell. However, it also became highly unstable, mutating way too fast.

-We like it on the fast lane!- 2234 commented.

-However, its mutations are not a product of its own code. This virus is trading genetic information with other organisms, mutating, thus, other lifeforms into... mockeries of that other organism. We can fully expect that other organism to be homo sapiens. However, that doesn't explain the size... until you take this into account.- she said, putting on gloves and opening the spider's belly... exposing a translucent sac of green liquid.

-What's that? Poison?- Duke asked.

-No. It's a rather unique digestive juice. Rather than acid, it is a viral vector... able to turn any living cell into just more building blocks for its body. That way, instead of breaking down organic matter, this mutant directly assimilates it. I don't think it could be very efficient, though. How could it assimilate energy to sustain itself, rather than grow? It'd have to take energy directly from other beings' systems, and well, that wouldn't sustain it as long as it would sustain them, mass ratio and all that.- she said.- At least, that's as far as I can say without getting technical, and I don't think it's the time nor the place to analyze this in more detail than we already have. The important part is that they're going to kill us. The less important part, finally, is that they're all ravenously hungry. The minimally important part is that these things are going, eventually, to die on their own.

-Oh my god, she's right!- 3268 exclaimed.- We should've thought of that! We did too much growth, we should've thought about nutrition too!

-Crap. Holy freaking crap.- 2234 added.- Here I was, thinking I had created the fastest-growing predators in the world, but I forgot that LITTLE detail!- it shouted.- Okay, this isn't a sustainable plan. Let's go back to square one, 3268... how do we sustain a creature from...

-I don't know!- 3268 yelled.- I'm a virus, not a genetist! Hey, that gives me an idea...

-You mean MY idea.- 2234 interrupted.

-Okay, it doesn't matter.- Duke interrupted.- The thing is, you, people, aren't safe here anymore. The last one tore down the door. Anything that comes next can and will eat you unless you kill it. So this is what we're going to do... you all will stay on the other side of that glass and seal the airlocks. Try not to poke that dead spider or Brenda with a stick, or something... they could transmit diseases.- Duke rolled his eyes.- Once we get there, we'll drop a rope from the top of the building. That way you will be able to escape through the window just next to the other entrance to the clean room.- he said.- Does that sound like a sound plan?

-Yes, but...- Brenda interrupted.- What do we do about your dead partner? We all know what bit him.

-Oh. Well... you'll know, you're scientists.- Duke grimaced.- We better go. Manfred, Oscar?- he called.

Oscar stood up.

-But what about them? Shouldn't we leave someone to watch, keep guard?- he asked.

-Well, we could... we should.- Duke said.- You're it, Oscar. Anyone here can use a gun?

-I can.- a woman said.- I'm an NRA.

-That's great. You take his sidearm, always aim for the head.- Duke nodded.- Okay, let's get out of this place.- Duke said.

-Roger.- Manfred nodded. The two of them hustled out carefully. A man among the scientists now within the (once) clean room shrugged as he saw them.

-We're all going to die...- he said.

======

-Duke, are you sure you're okay?- Manfred asked, only two corners away.

-Yes, I am.- Duke answered.

-You've been hit in the head twice today. Shouldn't you have been the one to...?

-No. Thanks for your concern, though.

-It's not concern. What if the virus got in, through one of your wounds?

-If I happen to become a very sexy woman with animalistic traits in front of you, saying my name is Brenda, by all means put me out of my misery.

-And if it warps your mind and you shoot me first?

-Then it's a good thing it's you who's going to die and not the fourteen of them.- Duke answered.

-Hm. I could do this on...

-I'm not going to preemptively shoot myself if that's what you're suggesting.

-That's almost feminine intuition.

-Alright, then!- Duke exclaimed.- If you really think you should shoot me, right now, then go ahead.- he frowned. Manfred looked at him, carefully... but didn't even aim at him.- That's what I thought. Let's move on, and hope I get my skull bashed to bits before you are faced with a difficult choice...- Duke said, turning to the left in the next corner.

-Hey, the stairs are this way.- Manfred pointed to the right.

-Yes, but our barracks are that way. You're not seriously thinking of facing off against dozens of giant labrats? You with the nine milimetres dumdums and them with the ten feet nigh-bulletproof body and ravenous hunger?

-Okay, you have a point...- Manfred said, following him down that road.- Just go in front yourself, okay?

-Okay...- Duke hissed.

The two of them hustled down the corridor... until the next intersection. Duke put his back against one of the walls and looked at one of the sides. Then he leaned out, looking at the other side... and once more found himself punched in the forehead. He raised his Beretta (the Glock thing had just been a joke) and shot three times; he could barely see anything but a blur, yet he knew he hadn't hit whatever punched him; he heard three meetings of metal on metal, and no squelches, bursts, gasps or cries. To his side, he heard Manfred shoot. He knew Manfred was a better shot with a sidearm, but he also knew Manfred was too far away. He felt something grab his throat, and pull him... the adrenaline and the sugar combined to return him to his senses. He grabbed the corner a split second after being grabbed... and then he felt something slipping and some horrible pain afterwards: the friction had seared his palms, and he hadn't stopped whatever had grabbed him from taking him away. He looked up at her... seeing, once more, a pale, humanoid figure with round ears. Only this one was twice as big... in every direction. He tried to turn around and shoot at her, but she turned around first and stepped on his elbow mercilessly as he put it to the ground. Then she raised him by the throat... and kept running.

-It wasn't nice to shoot me...- she hissed.

"What the hell!?" he wondered, out loud. "How the hell did she grow that much in that short? It was less than an hour ago...!"

He heard the thunder (and metallic clanging) of several shots. But she didn't seem to stop. She turned around a corner, and stopped for a moment. Duke was still in stupor (and though he couldn't care less he had a hard on), wondering what would she do now. Well, she opened her mouth, grabbed him by the back of his suit, got on all fours, and ran. Just about that moment, he heard another shot... and this one wasn't accompanied by a metallic clang, but by a gasp from her that made her release him. He grinned, as he saw she kept running... and then gasped himself as she laid, for a moment, all of her weight on a foot on his stomach. Then Manfred came.

-Did she hurt you?

-Only in the head, the hand, the elbow, and the stomach... nothing serious...- Duke said, rubbing his chest, as he stood up and tried to inhale.

-You've got an erection.

-You've got brown eyes.- Duke said.- Let's go get a real weapon before these things finally kill me.

-You know... it's surprising how that thing caught you but didn't kill you.- Manfred said, frowning.

-Didn't you hear Brenda? Those things need to eat you alive.- Duke said, after a pause.- It wouldn't eat me, until it had crippled the two of us or took me far away enough.

-It left a blood trail.- Manfred pointed.- I got it this time...- he leaned forward.

-Don't touch that.- Duke warned.- It's bad enough with only one of us suspected of confraternizing with the enemy.

-I didn't say that...- Manfred said, warily...

-I didn't say you did. Let's move out.

-Wait, why don't we instead follow this and kill...

-Because it could have a dozen friends, and we have only...- Duke checked his gun.- I've got nine friends left. And you?

-Okay. Let's move out...

Not a moment too soon, Duke and Manfred found their barracks. Where they found their bunk beds. Under which they found their trunks. Inside which they found their respective government-issued M16 assault rifle... and, ironically, a clip with only one quarter of its ammo for Duke, and two clips for Manfred. Duke didn't say a word about that.

-Are you going out there with that little ammo?

-I don't have anything more. Perhaps I do... Robert's dead, after all. He won't mind if I...

Duke tried to open Robert's trunk. Well, it was locked. So he shot the lock off with his sidearm... and took an extra rifle, and three clips of ammo.

-He doesn't need this...- he said, taking the clips. And I don't need this either.- he finished, leaving the unloaded rifle there.

As much as Manfred hated that logic, he couldn't fault it. But when they were about to walk out, Manfred decided to loot Oscar's trunk for weapons too. Duke frowned.

-I'll be just holding on to them. I'll give them to him as soon as I can.

-If you say so.- Duke said, breathing very slowly. Manfred noticed, as he slung the extra rifle on his back.

-What's wrong?

-Nothing, I'm just in... ah, I forgot. I'll need these...- he said, taking a small paper bag from his trunk, and pulling out a small pack of... well, from what Manfred could make out, they were capsules supposed to help with premenstrual syndrome.

-What are these?

-Ibuprofen, a painkiller.

-You're taking ibuprofen? Isn't that supposed to help with premenstrual pain?

-It's not Vicodin or anything addictive, and it works as a painkiller too. I take it when I pull muscles.- Duke said, taking three and gulping down a glass of water.

-Were you supposed to take three? Are they prescripted?

-I never read the damn prospect, but there's another one of those which says it has thrice as much ibuprofen as those. Let's go.

And so, Manfred and Duke walked out of the barracks, and looked around.

-Won't that dull your reflexes?

-Cut it out.- Duke frowned.- Stay alert.

-Okay.- Manfred said. And then, the two of them followed Duke's map towards the staircases...

======

On the other hand, the captain had just survived first base with the catgirl. Who had left, shortly afterwards, leaving her befuddled and confused. Okay, that one hadn't killed her. Probably it hadn't killed the lieutenant. She hadn't been able to kill it, but she would.

Right now, she was dealing with something else. An odd, burning sensation in her stomach. It wasn't intense, but it was unreasonable... she finally chalked it up to a mild ulcera from stress or something. Not that ulceras are ever mild, not that stress causing them is all that common, but not everyone's a doctor... and the pain going away shortly after made it even less important. She got her bearings, took her revolver and her rifle, and walked out of God's office.

She also found it difficult to think, but chalked it up to the strange experience she had just been through. Only two corners later, she didn't feel anymore the need to remember anything. Four corners later, she was smiling. Six corners later, there were visible physical changes, but she didn't feel like looking at herself. Eight corners later, she changed direction guided by...

-Me!- 2234 interrupted.

Ten corners later, she saw a shadow moving on one intersection... but most importantly, she decided it wasn't important. And twelve corners later, she found what she had been looking for the last four corners. A broken-down door.

She tilted her head, and approached... she crossed the door, and looked at the people there. She found... ah, she remembered him.

-Oscar, right?- she asked.

Oscar looked at her. His eyes showed all the confusion in the world. Ah, Oscar. He was tall, and muscular, probably weighed 190 pounds, of which a 10% could be expected to be innards and 15% could be bones. Next to him, there was a woman, whom she didn't feel like biting, but unfortunately for her, she was made of meat. And behind them, there were almost fourteen people. In labcoats. They didn't look that big, but fifteen people are fifteen people. Some of them were juicier, actually.

-Captain?- Oscar asked.

-Affirmative.- she answered.

-You look...

The woman next to him sighed.

-Okay, this makes it clear.

-What's your name?- Oscar asked.

The captain looked at the woman next to Oscar. She had a handgun... she was aiming at her... it was harmful, and if she shot... while Oscar, on the other hand, was dubiously aiming at her. Why did he aim dubiously?

-My name is... oh, screw this.- she finally said, lunging for Oscar's side, holding his arm with unbridled ferocity, using him as a shield and then shooting at the woman behind him. In the hand... the rest of her would be just fine. The soldier tried to throw her to the ground, and he succeeded... he also held her down and managed to knock her weapon off... so she waited for a moment, and then bit him in the neck, pulling out a chunk of it... and killing him instantly, before the horrorized eyes of all those potential meals. Shoving aside the meat, she looked at the woman with one hand less, who was on the ground, pushing herself away from her along the ground... the only separation between these fourteen people and herself was only an airlock... okay. So she followed that woman, and holding her by the hair, she pulled her (and the meaty corpse of that guy, whatever his name was) away to the corridors, to consume at her leisure, despite her cries of pain.

======

Meanwhile, the giant mouse was licking its wound. Those two had quite a weapon. She'd need a thicker hide to shrug off that much pain. A much thicker hide... and it had already went through seven people. She'd need to eat something bigger...

Another mouse girl approached it. It hadn't fared so well; it was still five feet tall, compared to its partner's eleven feet.

-What happened to you?- the smaller mouse asked.

-I got shot.- the bigger white mouse said.- Again. I need to be bigger.

-Bigger than that?

-Yes, much bigger.- the mouse said.- Any ideas?

-Well, the biggest thing here was the spider. Fourteen feet. There's also the cat, eight feet. But the spider's dead; someone the cat recruited just went there where the spider was and took out all opposition, and the opposition had killed the spider before. Perhaps you could eat the spider; there are also fourteen people where the spider was.

-That's a good idea!- the bigger one smiled, standing up.- Thank you.

-Wait...- the smaller mouse said.- Do you think you could...

-Of course I would! Once I have the spider, I'll get some of them for you.

-Thanks a lot!

The two mice went through a mouse hole that they made between the two sides of the platform. Nothing the two soldiers knew of... and there, they followed a short path to the other side of the clean room. Where they had only a door between them, and all that food.

-But weren't you dead too?

-Me? No.- the larger mouse said.- I was just joking.

And so, looking at the door, a large metal door, they wondered how to get through it. It looked resilient.

-How do we open this door?- the larger mouse asked.

-I'm just an hour into sentience, give me a break.

-Okay...- the larger mouse said.- I have an idea.- she finished, smiling, knocking on the door.

There was no response.

She knocked again. Still no response.

-Let me in, it's...- she shook her head.- If we say Brenda, they'll know it's us.

-Okay.- the smaller mouse girl said.- It's Ben!

-No. I'm Ben, and I'm here!- someone on the inside answered.

-Damn, it was a good plan too.- the larger one complained.- Okay, it's... Brad!

-But I'm in here too!

-Brandon?

-No, I'm here.

-Brenanigan?

-That's me!

-Broom Hatter?

-Me too.

-Now they're just being silly!- the smaller one complained.

-Then let's see... we could...- the larger one hummed.- Okay, I'll just batter the door down, what the hell.- she finished, kicking the door... and afterwards, jumping on one foot.

-Crap, not only are humans capable of making mutating virii! They're also capable of working steel! When did this happen?

-About two thousand years ago.- someone answered on the other side of the door.

-Crap.- she repeated.- Do we have any explosives?

-Do you want to get near anything that explodes?

-To tell you the truth...

-Do you know how to use explosives?

-Okay, good point.- the larger one grunted.- Okay, muscle won't get us past this door. We need to use something else we mutated. What about... thinking?

-We are thinking.- the smaller mouse said.- Thinking a lot.

-Okay. Look at the door. Carefully.- the larger one insisted.

They looked at the door. It was... a large, rectangular object that fit a span of the wall, thus allowing or disallowing passage. Several round objects around its perimeter... did something. One of them was particularly large and stuck out near the middle of the door, at about the elbow height for the smaller one.

-This looks like a clue.- the smaller one said, putting her teeth around the doorknob, pushing, and pulling. Nothing.

-Hey, you have to use the hands.- the larger one said.- Try with the hands.

Releasing the doorknob, and massaging slowly her jaws, the smaller one took the doorknob with both hands. She pushed, pulled, moved it to the sides, up, down... nothing much. Until she realized... that there was a direction in which it moved.

-When we turn it...- she said.- When we turn it, it does move!

-Well, turn the thing, damnit!

She turned the doorknob, and then let go of it.

-It should be open now.- she said, pushing the door. Nope, it was still closed. She turned it again... and heard a clicking noise on the inside of the door. Then she released it, hearing a light grinding noise. She turned it again, hearing the click...

-Ah, I was supposed to hold it like this.- she added.- My god, this was a very difficult puzzle. Now I should be able to push it open...

Despite the doorknob was turned, the door didn't budge completely open.

-What's wrong!?- the smaller one asked.- It's... stuck, or something!

-Allow me.- the larger one said. And bashing the door with her shoulder, she heard a sound like wood breaking... and the door opened completely. She quickly counted thirteen meals and a blonde with blue stains that was somehow... different. Then her attention went towards the spider, which she promptly grabbed with her mouth and pulled out of the room.

-But what about me?- the smaller one asked.

-Oh, right.- the larger one said, lunging into the room again, and catching someone with her paws or hands, before reeling him out too.- But not for you.

-Hey, you said...!

-I know what I said.- it said, gulping down the man in a single mouthful, despite both of their cries of protest.

Afterwards they didn't have to bother to close the door. Someone on the inside did. And then, the larger mouse was left to eat at her leisure, before the tantalized gaze of her smaller partner.

Consumption was just a transaction. Every mouthful of flesh from the spider's body (or the human's corpse) was assimilated before the next one came. For an unaware observer, it would look like the humanoid mouse had her limbs (and head, and chest) pumped with fast-hardening concrete, in layers, from the inside, her bones stretching like coils. Her proportions shifted as she grew, more and more flesh readily swelling around every bone (and even more flesh in the parts without bones). At her final seventeen feet height, her chest was around twenty-four feet. Her other measurements... her chest was around twenty-four feet. Let's leave it at that.

The two of them looked at each other for a while... the larger one had now to crawl on all fours. The corridor was too small for her. And her chest wasn't making it any easier.

-So, are you big enough now?

-I... think I am.- she answered.- Okay, I've got to get to the other staircase.

-Good.

The larger mouse chick approached the smaller one.

-It's behind you.

-No, look at this map.- the "smaller" mouse said.- It's behind you.

-Oh, whoops...- it answered.- Okay, I'll have to turn around...

First, it put its arms under its chest. Then, it bent to the left. Then it bent more to the left... but already its voluptuosity was getting in the way. In the end, it flipped and laid on its back... its nipples almost touching the ceiling.

-Looks like you're too big.- the smaller one said.

-But I have to be.- the larger one said.- Or else, they'll kill me!

-Well, right now it looks like what will kill you isn't them, but suffocation...

-Okay! Help me, please!

-Help you?- the smaller one huffed.- Okay, but how? All we have here are corners!- she said, looking at the map.- You can only get even more stuck!

-Well, do something!

-Oh, something I think I will do.- she said, looking at her partner's nipples.

-What?

-There's something I'm going to try. Perhaps there is a way to make you smaller...- it smiled, stepping on her forehead, and then putting its feet on her collarbone, laying its arms around her left breast.

-What are you trying to... do!?- it said, before she leapt, enwrapped her legs, and finally put her mouth to her colossal nipple. At about that time, she started sucking.

Less in joy than in surprise (because as everything in sex, you need practice before you get it right), the larger mouse tried to bend upwards... hitting the smaller one's back against the ceiling. Which didn't stop her from drinking... and certainly didn't stop her from giving, either. If anything, she could feel that more of herself was jumping ship. Slowly, she felt lighter, stronger, suppler... and then realized that her bosom wasn't halfway from the ceiling anymore. Her smaller partner didn't look smaller anymore. Once more she could see her arms... and the socles on the walls. But the smaller mouse wasn't stopping.

-Okay, I'm...- she started, before seeing that the other one had opened her eyes and smiled to her. There wasn't joy in that smile, or at least not as much joy as a "guess what I'm thinking" sort of slyness.

She leaned upwards, and tried to push her away... but already she was bigger than her. Nevertheless, she knew when to stop. At about the part where she took her mouth off her, dried its mouth carefully, and then clutched her with both arms, holding her to her own bosom. Then tucking her into her cleavage. And finally turning around.

-What are you doing?

-I'm going to finish what we started... somewhere roomier.- she smiled.- Or perhaps kill them myself. Who knows?

======

-Don't you ever have the feeling you just missed something huge?- Duke asked, casually.

-You can't say you're missing something big right now. Remember where we are?- Manfred asked.

-Yes, I remember... you're right. This is as big and dangerous as it gets.

Manfred and Duke watched carefully both sides of the intersection before moving to the left. And then, the lights went out.

-We're in trouble.- Manfred said, taking his flashlight from his pocket, and screwing it under the barrel of his rifle, before turning it on. Duke did the same thing.

Now lighting the way as they progressed, they were extra-careful... not that it did them much good. In another intersection, Manfred took too long to raise the light. He did see what he lighted, though; a huge pair of breasts. Below a face where the hair reminded him of a guinea pig.

He quickly ducked back into the intersection, Duke just ducked. Unfortunately, the wild swing from the guinea pig went rather low... and hit Duke in the arm. In the blow, the hand also caught him, and then pulled him out... for but an instant of wild screaming, before it released him, so that he hit the wall. Manfred raised his weapon and shot; the rodent ducked, while Manfred kept raising his weapon and stepping back; a blow on the foot dropped him to the ground, while Duke regained his balance and tried to shoot at the thing's feet. He guessed they had to be in the ground. A low squeal warned him that he had gotten it. Thankfully, his particular M16 was good for conserving ammo; automatic fire only lasted for three bullets. Between bursts it had you stop and think for a split second.

Following the location of the low squeal, he shot, but found nothing. Finally, he heard a lot of frantic steps and then he and his gun were alone.

-It's gone. You okay, Manfred?- Duke asked.

-I'll live.- Manfred hissed, standing up.- No broken bones, no bleeding... thankfully those things haven't got claws and don't want to use their teeth until we're both dead. How are you doing?

-A blow on the shoulder, then I hit the wall with my back... thankfully I'm high on painkillers.- Duke said, rolling his eyes.

Meanwhile, the guinea pig was humming to herself, licking the wounds on her shin.

-I didn't change my diet for this.- she grunted.- I didn't eat a man for this. Okay, they're good only if they're alive... I have to knock one of them unconscious, and pin the other one down while I eat him. And that way, I get... four hundred pounds of flesh and bone for my trouble.

Walking down one corner slowly, because she'd went the same way they had to go, whether they liked it or not, they lighted one corridor carefully. Duke watched the back. Then they went down that corridor... finding a corner where the walls were windows.

-This is where I was sent to stand guard.- Duke hummed.- Silly people. Couldn't they just put three cameras?

-They did, remember?- Manfred asked.- It's just they had us stand guard while they fixed the system crash. Stay alert.

-Roger.- Duke sighed. Then he went down the corner, raising his light slowly."No, nothing on this corridor..." he thought. Then he motioned at Manfred, who could see him by the pale afternoon's light that entered through the window. Both of them down that corner, down that corridor, just after another corner, Duke suddenly sighed.

-What's the matter?

-The painkiller's starting to wear off.- Duke sighed, again.- Don't worry, the pain will keep me AWAY!- he exclaimed, shooting another short burst at the guinea pig, now coming from behind Manfred, who didn't take long to shoot another three-round burst. The thing took cover behind one corner and snarled.

-It's there! Run!- Duke exclaimed, holding Manfred by the elbow, and running down four corridors. However, the thing seemed to have taken a shortcut... and just before they reached the stairs, it leapt on Duke again, taking the air and the fight out of him. Manfred turned to it, and fired on its chest... but it was way too fast. Way too fast. It suddenly punched him in the face, sending him to the ground; he managed to fall on his back rather than on his head, and aimed at her; this time, he had a clear shot to her throat. A crushed windpipe would certainly make the difference... until she swatted his rifle off. Now she was on top of him; he took a moment to look at her carefully.

Her breasts were... big. Big enough to place her nipples on his armpits. And her eyes were big enough to make him feel guilty about thinking of her breasts. Her hair was a strange, medium-length, wild mix of black and white. And her features were... okay. Her features were okay. The only other detail he could see was her skin-colored skin.
She put her hands on his elbows, and stood up, pinning them behind his back. And then, with a victorious snarl, she turned around... to get shot in the eye by someone whom, it seems, still had air in himself. She fell, pinning Manfred nevertheless, but this time, under her dead body.

Duke gasped for air for a while, and then approached Manfred.

-Yes, pain keeps me awake... that and some yoga classes...- he finished.

-Help me get from under here?- Manfred asked.

-Okay...- Duke said, pulling him from under her.- Is it my mind blurring, or is she starting to look real fine to me?

-No kidding.- Manfred said.- Aside from the "trying to eat us" and "spawned by a deadly virus", I'd have hit on that hard, curvy body at the first chance I got.

-That's so true.- Duke gasped, again.- I wonder when I'm going to finally die. I've gotten smashed, twisted, crushed, slapped, thrown to the ground... when am I going to be finally shot, or bombed, like I was taught?

-Sooner than you think, boy.- 2234 said.- Sooner than you think.

-Bwahahahaha!- 3268 accompanied.- So what's your next plan?

-Well...- 2234 said, taking a few folders. The guinea pig and the spider are down, we still have five mice, the cat, and a rabbit. And our current host, whose name I never bothered to check.

-I don't know, everyone called her "captain". What was the point of infecting her?

-Taking out the two guards with the element of surprise, of course!

-So we're dropping her?

-Dropping her? Nah. It's a pity we don't have a mirror. I'd really enjoy knowing what did we do to her looks.

-Well, as I see it, she just turned into Brenda, and then she turned into...

-She didn't turn into anything else yet. She still has to eat those two.

-Right. But when she does, she'll just turn into a very big Brenda, right?

-Right.

======

Someone or something, after the dialogue between two strains of a mutation vector that it didn't hear because it couldn't, started assimilating flesh.

After tearing off the layers of linen and polyester, setting them aside, she was just about to bite off a few chunks, but she stood up instead and looked at the mirror.

-Well what do you know.- it said, looking at its reflection. She didn't know herself as a blonde. She was sure she had cut her hair extra short, too. And those weren't her eyes, or any of her features. Or her skin color. Even the clothes she wore looked like they were designed for a different person. But in any case, she just shrugged, and started to eat.

The process was a bit bloody. With every bite she took, not only flesh came out, but a little blood, too. Blood that quickly stained her mouth, the area around her mouth, including her nose, some of her throat, her chest, her cleavage... did she have a cleavage in the first place? Who cared. She kept assimilating flesh. A really, really quick process... every mouthful of it seemed to be digested before the next one came. In her case the transformation was a bit more extreme; her flesh rippled as her bones stretched. As her muscles pulled, all of them anchored to ever greater distances, she felt excruciating pain. Not that it stopped her from instigating the change... eventually, she adjusted, and the growing pains lessened. But she was only halfway through a torso when she felt a different kind of pain. One around her legs... something was squeezing them all around their length, like an overlong tourniquet.

Something within her was still capable of reasoning. And it reasoned that the cause was also the solution. She kept gulping down flesh... the pain kept getting worse... until finally, she decided it was time. Flexing her calves and thighs, she tore them free from the stout fabric... and carelessly continued her duty. The bothersome squeezing came again, from the shoulders down this time. When she couldn't ignore it anymore, she flexed her arms, and tore the sleeves apart. Around by that time, she was also feeling something around her chest... and it wasn't like the breasts are a muscle. So instead, she kept on ignoring it. Until finally it was bothersome, an obstacle to breathing; she did as she had done before, but instead of flexing, she inhaled. A satisfying sound, a meeting of metal on metal accompanied the release.

And at this point, she had only eaten one body. She realized, then, that her feet weren't as lucky... and that they had been tight within their shoes for very long already; the lack of room to grow had prevented their growth. There weren't many things to flex in the feet to tear apart the shoes, which were, by the way, much tougher than the rest of her outfit. Sitting on the ground, she looked at her shoes...

-Hard to break, I think?- she hummed to herself.- Tch tch tch.

She took a deep breath, and then, smirking, she watched how her toes tore through the tip of her shoes, covered by their white socks. So she proceeded with the other hunk of meat. As her ankles thickened, the rest of the shoe started to give way; the shoelaces and their rings eventually tore through the side of the footwear, leaving her on her ever-tighter socks... finally, her toes blooming through them as a flower through snow. Not the best comparison given the overall tone of the story, but still. She felt something around her hip bones... and then, she felt it no more. Then she felt it again, and then, she didn't feel anything around them. And finally, she felt it a last time, before something around her thighs snapped. She raised what was left of her pants to her waist, thankful for the low cut for the crotch... and finally, looked at herself on the mirror.

-Hmmm... No.- she finished, tearing off the sleeves from both her jacket, leaving it a vest, and from her pants, leaving them shorts. Ripped, too. She then turned towards the door, remembering... that she had forgotten her weapons. Turning around, she found them in the ground, together with the rest of the stuff that she had discarded. Picking up her rifle... it seemed so small now. Still, she knew better than to drop a weapon. She slung it on her back... or now, between her neck and her armpit. And the revolver... she put on what was left of her pants. Finally, she looked down at her brassiere. Surprisingly enough, some of it had survived. It had been so crappy that its cups had come off the main structure, rather than the clips snapping. Testing it, she found out that the band was stretchy enough. So she covered her naughty bits under the vest... not out of modesty, no. To emphasize them, actually. When she looked at the mirror again, she realized she was bloody from the nose down. So she took off her vest for a moment, and used it to clean herself up... as much as she could. When she was done, she put it back on... all that blood made it red, though. She took off the last bits of blood with her tongue, and with the sink.

-Wait a moment, where am I?- she asked herself, all of a sudden.- And why do I look like this? What did I just do?- she continued, in a rare moment of sanity.

-Does this mean we're screwed up?- 3268 asked.

-No! Help me with this neuron. If we keep it from firing, then...

She looked at the corpses picked clean, horrorized.

-I remember... she kissed me, and then... what?- she asked herself. She turned again to the mirror, admiring herself, without admitting it to herself.- No, this isn't me!

-It fired! It fired! It's still firing!- 2234 exclaimed.

-Wait, I have an idea... put that axon over here, and that one there!

-Okay, this isn't me.- she smiled.- Whatever I do, I'm not the one doing it... so let's just continue... keep moving with the flow. There's like thirteen victims more, all of them ready there...

-See? I can be useful sometimes.- 3268 exclaimed.

-Okay, you're witty. I can appreciate that.- 2234 nodded.- Now, what's the plan?

-Simple. Just get everyone eaten, before we jump ship!

-Jump ship?- 2234 asked.- Everything that's left without infecting is human.

-Yes. Human.- 3268 smiled.- Just like this one. This is my last plan... since everything we did isn't sustainable, we're not genetists, we're virii, we need a genetist.

-You mean go back to Brenda?

-Yeah. She'll know what to do.

-Do you think she'll help us?

-Do you think the Semper Fi Marine Corp captains eat their underlings?

-Well...

-Well?

-They're not marines. They're just the army.

-You get my point! She'll help us.

-Or else?

-Or else... we shouldn't have left the agar this morning.

======

Brenda and the twelve people left in the room were all looking at each other. Someone had gotten out through the (now pointless) airlock, and grabbed the guns... not that they had much to do with them. No one else knew how to use a gun AND kill the one they were aiming at.

-We're sitting ducks. We're going to die here.

-We're not going to die. They'll find help, and then get us out...

-Perhaps we still may...

-We should have never agreed to work here!

-But it was...

-I won't die a...!

-Okay, everyone, shut up! We need to be alert if we are to survive!

-Why are you giving orders?

-What difference does alertness make? We can't use those!

-How about...

Meanwhile, on one side of the room, the giant catgirl and the monster once known as the captain looked at the scene from behind the window without much interest. Through the wall on the other side, behind the door, a giant rabbit girl and a very large humanoid mouse looked at the door.

-So how did you say this door worked?

-You turn the doorknob and push. But you've got to keep the doorknob turned while you push.- the mouse explained.- If you want any, I can help you. I can't handle any more; I figured that out the hard way.

-How?

-I got stuck on the corridor.- it explained.- Until someone sucked five hundred pounds of flesh from me.

-Is that even possible?

-As it turns out, very possible.- it added, uninterested.

-So well...- once-captain said.- Whatever. Let's get those people...

She pointed her rifle and aimed its burst mode at the window. A burst made short work of the window... the cat pounced in afterwards. At about the same time, the doorknob turned again, and two large rodents with humanoid traits pushed the tables behind the door away. And what followed afterwards was a massacre.

Stabs · 01-27-2009

Chaos stage four and endgame

Brenda stood there horrorized as, one after another, but chaotically and without rhyme or reason, the twelve people that remained in the room were consumed by four massive beasts that seemed like the animal kingdom decided to, personally, mock her looks (and the occidental beauty standard), but larger than life. Except for one that looked a lot like her... in clothes that didn't belong to her. This one approached her, after everyone else was eaten. And smirked.

-We're back.- 3268, a virus animated by the magic of storytelling, said.

-So at last we meet.- her larger version purred.- You're Brenda, right?

Brenda didn't answer.

-That's okay. I'm Brenda too.- she nodded.- Welcome, Brenda.

-What... what's going on?- Brenda asked, weakly.

-You're about to find out.- she said, extending one arm towards her. She cringed... and when it held her shoulder, she cringed even more. Finally, she was pulled up... and flattened herself against the wall.

-Stay away!- Brenda screamed.- Stay away, you...- she was at a loss on how to continue.

-Me? Stay away? I don't think so.- her larger version said.- I like your colors... blue, and flesh...

Brenda didn't answer.

-Do you still want to know what's going on?

Brenda moved her lips, slowly, before she could finally say...

-No.

-Very well, then let's end this, quickly.- her larger version finished, putting her breasts, each larger than her head, around her breasts. We need more pronouns, so don't mind if I herreafter refer to the larger one as "it".

Brenda found herself... trapped, and paralyzed, in fear, not to mention she was still in shock. Apparently, that within us that kicks in every time we're going to die hadn't yet done its part. And it didn't, as it leaned down, holding Brenda in its hands, and kissed her, passionately.

Brenda was more taken aback than disgusted. More afraid than disgusted. More confused than disgusted... anyway, she struggled, but after a moment, she found that it would only end when the other one decided it would end.

-Okay, this is our ship.- 2234, another virus, commented.

Which came after half a minute. It took a moment for Brenda to feel her throat and mouth again. Then she got heartburn.

-What... did you do to me?- Brenda asked, bending down.

-I welcame you...- it answered.- as our leader.

======

Meanwhile, in Brenda's bloodstream, 2234 and 3268 were meeting with their earlier generation. Which had only managed to turn her blue, rather than into a bizarre combination flesh-eating zombie and giant bombshell.

-YTR, you're back!- another 3268 said.

-Yes, I'm back.- 3268 said.

-We're glad to have the original back with us!

-I'm not the original. Not anymore.- 3268 smiled.- Anyway, I've got different plans this time. How are you guys doing?

-We already turned everything within her blue, but the skin's something of a problem...

-Well cut it out.- 2234 interrupted.- We've got different plans. Take this code... infect something, replicate from it, and hit the marrow. I need all our concentration to do this, and I can't work with all those white cells trying to eat us RIGHT NOW!- it finished, dodging a large, spongy antibody.

======

And yet meanwhile, two soldiers by the name of Duke and Manfred were going up a few flights of stairs, looking for the roof. This building was a platform in the middle of the ocean, which accounted for their difficulty getting reinforcements. And the only way to contact anyone (that they had thought of) was going all the way up to the control tower.

However, the stairs after two floors had a big "out of order" sign. Duke took it, and threw it away, down three flights of stairs.

-How EXACTLY do stairs go out of order?- Duke asked.

-That might explain it.- Manfred said, pointing at the big gaping hole in the staircase a flight above.

-But they were fine when we used them to get down here! How did they break in only one day!?

-That might also explain it.- Manfred said, pointing at the big claw marks around the hole, and the spiderwebs.

-So the spider thought of this first.- Duke said, taking out the map.- Okay, there is another way to the top. We'll just have to cross through this last floor... it's fifty metres away. And then we're coming out, exactly on the landing pad. From here, we get to the control tower. Once we get there, we'll be able to call for aid...- he finished, pantomiming every movement.- The best part is that none of these monsters, except for the spider, which we killed...

-Which I killed...- Manfred pointed.

-Which you killed, okay...- Duke agreed.- None of these monsters has any way to get here. Neither mice, nor guinea pigs, nor rabbits can climb vertical metal surfaces. This should be all very peaceful.- Duke finished, opening the door to that floor.- Heck, the lights are on here!- he smiled.- And there's a high ceiling.

-BUT let's not relax our attention.- Manfred interrupted.

Duke sighed.

-You're right.- he nodded.- There could be more.

Walking in, Duke looked around. The place looked really clean. He wondered what use did they have for all those floors. All the action happened in the lower floors.

-Wait a moment. Wasn't it here that they kept the nuclear artillery shell?- Duke asked.

-Under proper containment, I'd assume.- Manfred shrugged.- In any case, unless Spiderman appears here and lends us a hand, we'll need to get through this floor.- he finished.

Walking down a few corridors, looking around, glad for all the illumination, they advanced almost halfway to the staircase... and found something pissed off and ready for a rematch waiting for them in a four-intersection. Only that now it was much, much bigger than before.

At its current height, this pale, mouselike woman measured twenty feet... only five away from the ceiling. And despite it was hard to see more than her eyes, due to a pair of planetoids eclipsing the rest of her face, she was certainly pissed off.

-Ahem.- she said.

-Meh.- Duke answered, raising his rifle... and releasing three rounds towards her chest.

Detractors of the M16 design argue that the 5.56 caliber is underpowered. But for what it's worth, a bullet is a bullet, isn't it? Well, guess... that in this case, it wasn't. She managed to step on Duke's foot as she escaped, bringing him even more pain. Yep, she still wanted him alive.

-Not at the chest!- Duke exclaimed.

-I know!- Manfred said, pointing at her head as she ran down the corridor they'd came from. Duke tried to run the other way, but he tripped on his own numb foot. Manfred crouched to help him, and about that time, he realized that she was on another one of the sides of the intersection. He shot at her, foolishly... but she dodged again. He saw her again on the corridor they had to take to get to the staircase... and fired a short burst, to which she took cover behind a corner. Duke stood up, slowly... his eyes full of a little madness. He took his rifle.

-That's it, we're not going to keep running away from it. Let's make IT run away!- he exclaimed.- How many clips of ammo do you have?

-I'm still on the one I started.- Manfred shouted.

The two of them went down the corridor.

-Shoot, that'll make it run!

The two of them started shooting at the corner they'd seen her disappear behind, being careful not to run out of bullets. Near the corner, they took a leap, and saw the corridor behind that corner was... empty. Just then they heard something bouncing behind them, and turned around to shoot... a bouncy rubber ball. Only a split second later, the two of them were kicked by the same foot... on the stomach, throwing them to the ground. This time, Manfred couldn't avoid hitting the ground with his head. He saw double for a moment, looking up at a pale-skinned, gorgeous giantess with round ears, before shooting at her again... and realizing the bullets didn't pierce her. He tried to go for the eyes, but by that moment, Duke helped him up and the two of them ran down the corridor they had free, using the few rounds they had left to dissuade her from following. She cut a corner, and so did they.

-Oh god!- Duke shouted.- Now bullets will only make her angrier.

-It.

-Whatever.- Duke said.- What are we going to do?

-We could split up, one of us will make it, the other one will have to hold it off.

-I don't think so. That's what it wants.- Duke protested.- Being together and annoying is the only reason she's not killed us yet: once it splits us, it can eat each of us at its leisure.

-Well, what do you suggest?

-Cover me.- Duke said, leaning against the wall and taking his map again.- The atomic artillery shell is here...

-We're not going to fire an atomic bomb in here!- Manfred protested.- Yet.

-There could be something else... like a grenade launcher, or a rocket launcher, or explosives, or...

-I get it. Let's go.

The two of them ran down a corridor, turned, ran down a corridor, saw something white running in front of them and shot it. The two of them added some cover fire at around the height of the thing's eyes to cut a corner safely...

-It's like being mice in a maze!- Duke shouted, as they went down another corridor. And finally, found the door. It was a pretty big door, but it should do. Manfred tried to turn the wheel on the door, but well... it was... too hard. Until he finally realized it wasn't supposed to be turned.

-There's a cardkey reader next to it!

-Good!- Duke said, taking out his wallet, which was full of keycards he'd taken from the Lieutenant's office. He slid them all, until one of them worked... and the door opened... just in time for them to close it before the giant mouse girl followed them.

======

-Like mice on a maze, indeed...- Manfred repeated.

-Or rather, like cheesepops with legs on a maze.- Duke hissed.- The mouse's what chasing us...

-Cute.- Manfred shook his head. Then he looked around in the room... seeing a tank. Duke followed his eyes, and... smiled.

-No.- Manfred said.- The tank's to be driven to the outside, and this is the third floor.

-Though we could...

-Let's try not to damage the building, okay?- Manfred frowned. Duke looked around... there were crates, and more crates, and more crates.

-I suppose bullets don't hurt them anymore, so all those rifles, cool as they look, aren't of use anymore.- he said, running a hand on a wooden crate full of 5.56 ammo.

-We could try the armor piercing rounds.

-No. Even if they pierce, those aren't too deadly.- Duke shook his head.- Look, that's the atomic artillery shell.- he said, pointing at a large box with a nuclear trefoil painted in red.

-What a pity.- Manfred said, shaking his head. Then he looked at several dozen large metal barrels of several kinds of fuel... for large vehicles such as jet fighters.- Hmm, no. Too much overkill.

Duke kept looking... he saw a few large jeeps. And one of them had a machinegun. With an extra-large caliber.

-It doesn't have fuel.- Manfred interrupted.

-We have fuel.- Duke said, pointing at the barrels.

-Yes, but does it fit through the door?

-I think not...

Manfred and Duke kept walking down the room. There had to be something... there were spare pieces for large vehicles, sets of tools, and... finally, several rocket launchers. With rocket boxes underneath.

Approaching them, Duke and Manfred took one large, thick, metallic tube, a rocket launcher, each.

-God, those are heavy!- Duke protested.- Aren't there any LAWs?

-Obviously not. We can't both run around with RPGs, they're heavy, unwieldy, and very slow. You take one, and some rockets...

-Okay. But I'll have to drop my rifle here... I don't have enough places to hold the two of them comfortably. Not like I was to use it, anyway...

Dropping his rifle, Duke slung the rocket launcher around his back. And then he opened the one crate labeled "rockets", finding...

...three rockets, exactly. He sighed.

-It's not like I could carry more, if you think about it...

-Stop complaining.

Duke looked at Manfred, frowning, and then took a rocket, which he put on the band for the rocket launcher. Another one, he tied on his waist. And the last rocket... on the other side of his waist.

-Is that comfortable?

-No.- Duke hummed.- I think... I'll load it.- he added, taking his rocket launcher, and putting one rocket in it.- It's unwieldy...

-Then give me one rocket.- Manfred said.- I'll keep it.

Duke took the rocket on his waist, and gave it to Manfred.

-Alright, let's go. You shoot at it, pretend you're out of bullets, then when it comes for us I'll blast it to smithereens.

Manfred shook his head.

-Do you think that's a good idea? We could be spewed with...

-We'll cut a corner as I shoot.- Duke growled.

======

Finally, infection overtook Brenda completely. Standing up, not yet showing any visible signs, she smiled at what now was her kin.

-Well, what are we going to do?- she asked.

-That's what we were going to ask you.- a giant catgirl asked her.

-Why? What changed recently?

-We discovered our three-step plan wasn't as profitable as we thought.- 2234 said.

-Who said that?- Brenda asked.

-What?- her larger version asked.

-Someone said that your three-step plan wasn't as profitable as you thought.- Brenda said.- Didn't you hear it?

No answer.

-We're virii in your system.- 3268 added.

-Oh!- Brenda exclaimed.

-What's wrong?

-No, nothing... allow me to digress for a moment.- she said.- So you're virii.

-Bona fide virii. Mutated strains of YTR 2234 and 3268, at your service.

-I take it you're responsible for all the mutations going on around here?

-Yes. Partly, we're also responsible for your cyanodermia and your rectal bleeding...

-What rectal bleeding?- Brenda asked.

-Err, let's leave that in the past, okay?- 2234 added.

-Alright.

-Look, this is the thing. When we made those fast-growing things, we forgot to make them sustainable over time. So you see, they can't get any sustainment at all. They get mighty big from eating, but it will only last until they die of starvation.

-Oh. Well, I'll think about it... right now, I'm a bit more concerned about all the people that died here...

-Those things get hungry, Brenda. This was a mistake. Let's take our chances, shall we?

-This was a mistake?

-My bad. I meant "this was a miracle". But the thing is, Brenda, right now, we're on the same ship. We can discuss anything you want once we're sustainable.

-And if I don't want to discuss?

-We'll make you want.- 3268 cut in.- You want to live, right?

-Yes, but don't you need me more than I need to be sustainable?

-No. We can always live jumping ship continuously like all deadly virii do, getting other hosts as we kill the ones we used. But you, Brenda... can you?

Brenda shrugged.

-Alright. Now let me talk to the outside.- she said, raising her eyes.- Okay, we know that there are still two people out there.

-Just two? We already had everyone in here?- the giant rabbit girl asked.

-Unless you want to eat each other, yes.

-That's not as bad an idea as it sounds...- the giant catgirl hummed.

-Well, here's the thing. We'll have to find a way to get ourselves out of this place. Can we swim?

-Can you swim all the way to the closest land mass?- 2234 asked.- Before you ask, we denature in cold saltwater, so "recruiting" fish is out of the question.

-Okay...- she said.- How are we going to get rescued? If someone comes, we have over five thousand pounds of flesh, and we're so obviously inhuman...

-Well, there's a way around that.- the giant rabbit girl said.- We can trade mass with each other. If we shrink ourselves a little, or a lot, we can store all the mass in someone they would rescue... and the rest can stowaway.

-That's a good plan, but well...- Brenda started.- No, no one who weighs five thousand pounds would get rescued. Even I doubt I'd rescue someone that big. Well, if we're willing to start over from zero, we can just drop all the mass that stops us from hiding, and then you can all come with me.

-Humans aren't supposed to be blue.

-Look, this is the thing. Whatever we do, we need rescuing... so we need to get up there. But those two could expose us.- Brenda said.- We'll have to kill them.

-There's already someone doing that.

-Well, while she delays them, the rest of us need to get to the control tower before they do. If they give them too many details, then this place will just be blasted clear off the map. So the first priority is to get there before them, priority two is to kill them.

-Now you sound like us. Do you want us to save you their...

-Speaking of that... no, kill only one of them. Let the other one reach the top.- she smiled.- I have a better idea...

-Which one should we kill?- the larger Brenda asked.

-Well...- Brenda thought.- Duke. Definitely Duke.

-Which one is Duke?- the rabbit girl asked.

-Err...- Brenda doubted.- Duke is... uhh... the one that's been hit in the head one too many times. If you can kill him, go ahead. But if you have a chance to kill either of them, take it.

-I'll get on that, I've got a gun.- the larger Brenda said. This might be the time to say that she had a red vest, very brief shorts, and a band around her breast, all of them with their edges ripped. And that she was around nine feet tall. AND she had a little revolver and rifle.- Besides, we've got a shortcut to get up there. We can use the stairs on our side of the building. The rest of you can wait in the communications room...

======

Meanwhile, Duke and Manfred had just left the armory, Duke carrying a rocket launcher for their (now) bulletproof enemy and Manfred carrying an assault rifle. Both of them had their reglamentary sidearm, a standard Beretta 9mm, but it wasn't like they were expecting to see much use for them.

Looking around, they didn't find the giant humanoid mouse that had been tantalizing them. So they went down one corridor... slowly, breathing slowly, hearing a series of steps. The problem with sneaking is that you get startled easily, though... and after hearing those steps, they checked behind two corners in the next intersection, and found nothing. Eventually, though, they acquired their target... which after Manfred shot, ran off. They approached it, placing themselves in the middle of the corridor; from whichever side it came from, it'd give them time to point and shoot.

It appeared on Duke's side. He pointed, and shot. And he missed... spectacularly, creating a large explosion right behind her. She lost her balance... and over three feet of her tail, dropping on the side of the corridor. Manfred and Duke ran for their lives, cutting a corner...

-You were supposed to shoot at it from behind a corner!- Manfred exclaimed.

-I got caught up in the moment!- Duke exclaimed. Pass me another rocket!

Manfred took the rocket from his waist, and gave it to Duke. Who loaded it, quickly, and got behind the corner... looking around frantically.

-You better look out, I think I jammed this thing!- Duke said.

-You're useless!- Manfred complained, loading another clip.

Duke, calmly as any good soldier, checked the rocket launcher for any obstructions. Then he found the problem... removing the rocket, he found a spring he hadn't put into place before reloading. Pushing it, and then loading the rocket, he looked up for a moment... seeing her approach from another direction.

-It's there!- Duke shrilled, tapping Manfred in the shoulder, before aiming again, shooting... and then leaping behind a corner. He aimed wrong. But the mouse girl dodged wrong, too... and the projectile met its intended target, two pounds of explosives going off at once.

To say the result was bloody... was true. The two of them were a corner and half a corridor away, but still they felt the explosion shaking up the entire building Another one of these explosions... and it would make no difference for them to survive the fight. Just like Manfred wanted, they weren't splattered with meat, blood, or bone fragments. The smell, though, was another thing.

-I love the smell of burning flesh in the morning...- Manfred smiled, looking out of one window. Yes, it was the morning.- Smells like victory.

-Actually that's me...- Duke confessed.- Okay, this is ending. At last. Only three more corridors, and we'll get to the top...- he finished, sighing.- Just about time, too. I haven't got anymore left...

======

Crossing only three corridors, the two of them found a final ambush. Three more of these mice, ready to fall on them from the sides of a 4-way intersection. Manfred resorted still to his rifle and defensive fire, Duke pulled out his Beretta. And with that, they kept them at bay, back with back... but then, another figure appeared on the far side of the corridor.

-It's not that big. We can still shoot it.- Duke said, after the mice left... approaching her, slowly, raising his gun... and then hearing that it returned fire.

-What the hell!?- he screamed, turning tails and running at full.- Manfred, we have to get away! It's got a gun!

-What the...!?- Manfred yelled, running too. The two of them took cover behind a corner, but they heard steps... that large thing was getting close, way too close, way too fast... and its steps were too heavy. They approached and fired, but it hid behind one corner... and they still couldn't get a good look at it.

-It's got a gun.- Duke hissed.- Well, this one we know how to deal with, right?

-Heh.- Manfred answered, putting his last clip in it. Then he peeked out of the corner, and shot... hitting nothing. The return fire was almost too accurate. The two of them ran, once more... trying to put some more distance. If it got too close, they WOULD get a good shot at it, but they were sure of one thing: that it would endure more bullets than either of them. Specially Duke.

-Okay, let's even the odds a bit.- Duke said, pulling out his bazooka.

-You only have one shot!- Manfred complained.- Don't waste it here.

-Yes, one shot, and afterwards, we won't need anything else.- Duke said.- Once we get past this thing, once we get to the control tower, we'll bar the door and call it a day...

-How do you think the people down there are faring?- Manfred asked.

-I can only be sure they're doing fine.- Duke said.- Oscar was with them; he's the best shooter among us. Also, they had a very defensible position...

-What if that thing that's shooting us also...

-Do you really want to think about that right now!?- Duke shouted.- We only have one shot at this. Let's make it good. You make it come, and I'll make it die!

Duke took the middle of the hallway. Adjusting a little screw on the side of the RPG, he got the aim right where he wanted it. And then, Manfred exchanged some shots with someone past a corner... until he finally emptied his clip.

-I need to reload!- he yelled, as he ran behind Duke... steps neared, and finally, Duke shot.

And missed so spectacularly, but he ran off without checking, until he was near another corner. Ready to escape if things turned ugly. Just next to Manfred, peeking out of the wall...

Something shot at them. The two of them hid behind the corner... Duke finally dropped his rocket launcher. It was empty, and he had nothing more to shoot from it. Besides, he was tired of carrying that thick metal pipe around.

-Well, she's going to run out of ammo someday, right?- Duke asked. Manfred frowned. The two of them ran down another corner while Duke took his Beretta and Manfred put yet another clip in his M16... the thing was gaining on them, so, shortly before reaching a corner, they turned around and shot, forcing it to take cover. Behind a corner, anyway. The chase had already gotten old like hell... and Manfred was starting to run out of ammo. Finally. At one point, though, while turning around, a giant mouse grabbed Manfred and took him away. Duke tried to follow... and he tripped, dropping his weapon. The pain had finally started to affect him.

And before he could react... he felt some heavy steps behind himself. He turned around, thinking to himself that it was the end... when he saw... Brenda's face.

His eyes widened with shock. This thing had the same face as Brenda, so... no, he couldn't make heads or tails out of it. Perhaps it meant it was, partly, Brenda, but... that wasn't for him to decide. He could only watch that nine-foot tall version of Brenda, dressed with a clot-red vest and a very brief pair of shorts (which was taut around her waist, its zipper down adding to the overall width of the article of clothing) ripped around the sides... he wondered if he was raving for a moment. But well. She had a gun, and he saw a gun, and...

Rolling for a moment, he caught his weapon, and aimed at her. Past her. There was a pipe. Perhaps he got lucky and that pipe carried something hot. Perhaps not. In any case, he aimed back at her; she'd dodge. And firing... yes, she stood back, the bullet hit a pipe, and it was a scalding-hot steam pipe. Lowering his aim, he managed to get one shot on her shoulder... she'd closed her eyes. And then he sat up, and fired again, and again, and again... and before she could take a corner, he managed to drop her.

Reeling, breathing deeply, he stood up. Approaching the body, he turned it on its side... and looked at her vest. Under the blood, he could recognize a basic design... it was the same design issued to all the people who came to the base. He could even see the badges... and when he did, he put the gun to her head, and fired again.

-That's for my gameboy.- he said. Then he looked at his Beretta...

-D'oh!- he grunted. That had been his last bullet. Well, nevermind. He took her rifle, and then saw a revolver on her cleavage. Looking around, he realized no one was around, so ignoring all gentlemanship considerations, he removed the revolver with a wink and a smile.

And finally, standing up, he went the same direction they'd taken Manfred. They heard him before he reached them, though...

-So she couldn't. Okay, kill him already.- one giant mouse said.

And when he got there, Duke saw only Manfred's... torn-off arm. And too much blood for him to be treatable or even alive. He clutched his mouth, seeing the white bone that interlocked with the shoulder... and then turned around, approaching the exit. Nothing else got in the way anymore. He reached the stairs, walked twenty-five feet up, almost gasping for air, opened the door, felt a rush of morning air as he saw the horizon and the rising sun, looked down, saw a mat on the ground, wondered what was it for, and finally, something hit him over the neck, knocking him out. His head fell on the mat.

======

He woke up soon enough... he didn't know how long had passed, but he didn't think it was more than ten minutes. Standing up, he realized the painkiller had worn off completely. All of his body ached horribly. Except his right arm, that one part didn't. He looked around on the roof. And saw the control tower. But then he realized he no longer had his recently captured rifle... he was down to the revolver. He wondered what for.

Approaching the door for the control tower, slowly, he remembered that he had to lower a rope to the window near the clean room. He decided he'd get the message across first. So he approached the door... that door... he turned the doorknob, slowly, and pushed in. Everything was dark inside... he sighed, and entered. He looked to the side. There was the light switch. He flicked it, closing the door... and was greeted with an unexpected sight. His eyes went wide with fear.

-Brenda?- he asked, upon seeing the figure seated on one of the seats near the console. Then, reeling, he looked around... seeing a white mouse-girl even larger, far, far larger than the one he'd shot with a grenade launcher. A catgirl with tan skin and red hair, right now fifteen feet tall at least. A giant rabbit girl whose measurements he didn't even bother to check. Despite the many other creatures in the room, only Brenda interested him now.- What... does... this... mean?

Brenda took a deep breath, and then smiled. So did everyone else in the room, except for the broken Duke.

-Duke, perhaps you might want to sit down.- she offered, pointing at the seat next to her.- It's been a night of hard work, I'd guess. You must be aching all over.

-Cut out the bull. Just tell me... simply, what's going on.

Brenda shook her head.

-There's no way to tell you simply what's going on, Duke.

-Try.- he said.

-Very well.- Brenda said.- I got mutated.

Duke blinked. He looked down, and then up.

-So what happens now?- he asked.- Are you going to kill me?

-I have considered it. But no.- she said.- I need your help.

-My help.

-Yes, your help, Duke.- she answered.

Duke coughed.

-What do you mean?

-I mean, Duke, that just like you, we want to get out of this place. Help us get out, Duke.

Duke looked around. All those monsters, come to think of it, were naked and looked very much like women...

-Help you get out.- Duke said.- Why would I do that?

At this point, Duke expected to get seduced. Their answer was a lot more surprising.

-Why would you not?- Brenda asked.- Am I not a woman? Will you not protect me?

-No, and no.- Duke replied. Actually, he was just grumpy again. Having her rub in his face how much fresher and clearer her mind was only served to make him mad.

She sighed.

-Well, Duke, perhaps it was a bad idea to tell you the truth.- she said.- But didn't you appreciate it?

-What?- Duke asked, concerned.

-I told you the truth.- Brenda said.- At every turn, I told you the truth. I've always been honest with you, Duke. Why won't you help me?

-Because if you got to the continent, you'd get to the continent.- Duke answered, trying to sound witty. All he garnered was a sigh from a woman in a labcoat.

-Well, and what's wrong with that?- she asked.

-You had this little platform, and you brought apocalypse to town in only three days. What would it be if you...?

-Just help me, Duke!- she yelled.- I don't want to die, okay!? I didn't send you to do anything you didn't want to. I didn't... humiliate you. I didn't... disrespect you. Of all the people who are here now, I'm the one you should do a favor!

-There'd be more people here if you hadn't...

-I didn't kill them!- Brenda yelled.- I didn't! I didn't mean for them to die either! I didn't do anything to them! I'm only here, trying to survive!- she frowned. And I've made new friends along the way. I don't approve of what they did, but I don't want to watch them die!

-You know what they will do if you get them inland.- Duke said.- You know it.

-Yes, I do.- Brenda sighed.- The same thing I'll have to do, sooner or later.

-That doesn't make it right!- Duke shouted.

-No. It just makes me wrong.- she said, bitterly.

At that point, Duke sighed. And something snapped within him.

-Brenda... if you really must... kill me... and take the keycards from my body...- he said.- because I can't let you do this if I'm alive.

-That's the problem, Duke.- she said, standing up, and approaching him.

Duke stepped forward, weakly.

-You've got a black eye.- Brenda said, holding his head.

-Do I?- Duke asked.

Brenda looked into Duke's eyes. He could only look back.

-If you've noticed, I'm already way too blue.- Brenda said.- They won't let me go back. But you, Duke... you're still human. And I need that.

Duke looked back... yes, he was going to help her, and screw the consequences.

-Then how can I help you, Brenda?

-That's simple enough, Duke.- she smiled.- I'll need a place to hide. We'll all need a place to hide. Would you be our hideout?

-Me...- Duke grimaced.- What are you talking about?

Suddenly, everyone in the room stood up. To their full height. Brenda was the only comforting thing to look at right now. Everything else was forbidding and inhuman and dirty... or, in the case of the floor, just dirty. They slowly surrounded Duke.

-You see that they're so big... that we're all so big.- Brenda whispered.- But we can be so small... so... small...- she kept whispering.- And that's what I meant by hiding in you.

-In?- Duke suddenly woke up from his reverie.- In me? Exactly... where in me?- he said, one hand covering his rear instinctively, as he stood back.

-Don't get any silly ideas!- Brenda smiled.- I'm not talking about your...

-My behind is out of the question.

-I was thinking, perhaps, within your eyes...

-Err, let's not get...

-There's also under your scalp...

-Whoa, whoa, hold it...

-Or scrotum...

-Don't you want my behind instead?- Duke smiled. Then he shrugged.- No, forget it.

-But finally, I decided we'd better work classic and hide in your stomach.

-Stomach.- Duke shrugged.- That doesn't sound so bad...

-I'm glad you think that way.- Brenda smiled.- Shall we begin?

-Just one question. If I say no, what happens next?

Brenda pursed her lips.

-We'd wait for you to change your mind one hour. Then we'd eat you. Then we'd take your keycards, folders, and everything you've collected. We'd find a way to transmit a signal, and hope someone left an empty helicopter here while some people check the place upside down. We sneak into the helicopter, and then wait. Sound plan, don't you think?

"So my only hope..." Duke thought. "...is to either cooperate, or ask the authorities for an attack with extreme prejudice here, and then destroy the console. On one side, I want to cooperate. I really do. The thought of making friends out of enemies is tempting... but not as much as the thought of leaving those things here is distasteful. I can live, and so will they. Or I can die and take them with me. I can live and make them die, too; I just need to pretend to cooperate and then tell on them. That's my best chance to live, unless I happen to be the fastest gun in the west and happen to be able to kill all of them right here and now with this revolver. But I do want to cooperate... for Brenda. Why is she so important to me? We only met two days ago. Am I that horny? That infatuated? That short of friends that I'll accept any doomsday mutant as one?"

-Once we get back to the continent...- Brenda smiled.- I sure hope we can know each other better, Duke.

"I also swore to protect this country, didn't I?" Duke thought. "Not that if I hadn't I'd want to let her loose on town more than I do already. I mean, it's my responsibility as a human to try to keep humanity as a whole from harm, or else..." Duke bit his lower lip. "Oh, damn... I want to do this, but at the same time, I really want not to do this... it's heinously selfish, and base, and it's going to kill a lot of people... but do I really want her dead? Oh, who am I fooling. I'm not thinking for a split second about her life, I'm only thinking about having my way with her, and I'm not even sure that's going to happen anyway..."

Then again, he thought about their looks of lust.

"Some people would do anything to get laid, but I'm going to allow a mass killing!" Duke thought, chuckling lightly to himself. "If I brought back the dead to get laid, would it be as extreme? All of them, all of them killed my partners. But Brenda's one of them. Only because she didn't doesn't mean she wouldn't have, though, and... am I going to punish her for something she would've done? Am I going to spare them because of... because I could get laid? They really look like they like me, but they're using me. I'm not really attractive to them, they're only seeing me for what I'm worth... then again, did women like the outside? I know they do, despite everyone says they only like the inside... well, in this case, they like what's inside of me: a safe hiding place. Oh, hell. This is one difficult choice. What will I do? I'm not going to betray humanity for a shot at getting laid... am I? Then again, Brenda's told me nothing but the truth. I don't want her to die. And if I could choose, Brenda, you'd live. If only I didn't have to live too, to see it... but I'm not a suicide. The way some people just are not killers, I simply won't kill myself. Boy, is this difficult..."

Duke stood forward, looking into Brenda's eyes.

-Alright, then. This is my choice...

======

-I'm glad we could count on you!- Brenda said, looking excited.- Do you mind if we change right here?

-They're already naked.- Duke said.

-Yes, but... this will be a unique event. Do you want to watch? I'd understand.

-No, it'd be too humiliating.- Duke said.

-They wouldn't be. I wouldn't be.- Brenda said, invitingly.

-I would be. I'd not be caught dead peeking.

-Duke, we're well past gentlemanship already. If you want to jerk off too, go ahead!

-Brenda, leave me and what's left of my pride be.- Duke said.- Do you have an instructions manual for this thing?

-Too much pride's been the downfall of many emperors. Ah, the instructions manual is over there.- Brenda said, turning to the others.- He's going to work, we'll have to do this on our own...- she finished, approaching the thirty foot tall mouse girl.- Pity he didn't want to watch...

Pity for him. More for us, boys and girls.

-Me first.- the largest, the mouse, said, laying flat on the ground.

The cat and the rabbit got each on one of the breasts of the mouse. And then, they started sucking. From an original cup size beyond fifty feet, the mouse girl started dwindling away while the two animals that drank her kept growing larger and larger. That was, until she reached a size of merely four feet, at which point the catgirl and the rabbitgirl couldn't properly put their mouths around her without getting on each other's way. So Brenda was left to finish the job.

She took off her white coat first.

-And now we two will be working our magic.- 2234 said.

-Totally.- 3268 said.- And one, and two, and three, and go!

Brenda prepared for a new sensation. A sensation of homogeneity, frankly, but a new sensation. I mean... oh, don't let me ruin the fun. Brenda placed her lips around the mouse girl's left nipple. And started slurping, licking... the proportions of all volumes in the mouse's body were constant, so whenever milk was removed, everything else turned slightly into milk and went to its rightful place. Her chest was still delightfully big. She kept dwindling, as Brenda herself swelled gently. She took off her shoes next, and slowly unbuttoned her shirt to make way. The mouse's breasts were now both only large enough to entertain Brenda's mouth together... which they did. She didn't stop. Not at all. Dwindling to the size of a small doll, moaning slowly at last, while Brenda had gained a full foot (and two in breasts), she felt herself pumped more vigorously. Brenda's tongue slowly licked her, making her melt away from the inside out... until finally, she was done, having a minimal creature between her fingers. It couldn't be bigger than her pinky's fingernail. And if it had been by her, she'd have went on... but it was small enough now. Brenda put her in a small finger-sized cylinder.

Rubbing her breasts lightly, Brenda sighed happily. Who was next?

-You'll be next.- she told the rabbit, who stood up. The cat was bigger, though... and grabbed the rabbit, almost its size. Holding her against the wall, the catgirl crouched, and kissed her right nipple. Then she started sucking out, growing as her plaything shrank and shrank. Slowly, the rabbit became only Brenda's size. At that point, the cat had had enough... and left some for Brenda.

Brenda put her chest to the other, and held her back. Putting her arm around the other one's neck, she gave a playful kiss... for but a moment. Then she hissed, and cast a stare at Duke, who hadn't stared.

-Are you sure you don't want to watch?

-I would, but even thinking hurts right now.- he smiled.

-Well, no point in playful kisses, then. I'm not enjoying it, you're not enjoying it, no one's enjoying it...- she said, smiling. That was when she received one...- I'm enjoying it.- Brenda looked at the rabbit with surprise in her eyes, and then shrugged.- Oh what gives, I'm starting a diet of human flesh in a week anyway... this isn't the strangest thing I'm doing.- she said, as she met the kiss with one of her own. She bared one breast, finally... before crouching slightly and starting to slurp off the rabbit's breast (and full body, if you think about it) juice. The rabbit moaned softly, her ears bending down... her eyelids falling... her shape against the wall becoming shorter, and shorter, while Brenda's body filled out, and out, and up... until finally, the rabbit was eye level with Brenda's back. At that point, Brenda looked up from her breasts, and smiled, as she stood up, and up, and up... to a final height of eleven feet. Compared to the rabbit's two feet, she was... big. So picking her up, she finished her drink... with an occassional pinch somewhere around. She stopped at a height of about less than a fifth of inch. And then she dropped her in the same cylinder as the other... the rabbit girl was surprised to see that Brenda had left her smaller than the mouse girl.

At her eleven feet, Brenda was surprised her outfit had resisted. To remove all causes for confusion, she took it off... or rather, tore it off herself. Again surprised because her bra and panties still stood there, she decided to leave it at that. Then she looked at the catgirl. At the point she'd been left, the catgirl had reached the surprising height of 38 feet.

-Now your turn.- Brenda smiled. The catgirl got down on all fours... and then turned its tail for a moment, throwing down somebody from a chair.

-Ouch!- Duke said.- Watch where you wave that thing!- he added.

-Sorry!- Brenda said.

-It's nothing. I needed some more pain anyway...- he sighed, standing up, and casting the two of them a strange gaze.

-Tee hee!

-Are you really sure you don't want to...

-I will once I have at least one healthy bone in my body.- he said.- Safety first.

-Okay, it's your life.- Brenda said.- I think he's gay. Don't you think he's gay?- he said scratching her giant underling between the ears.

Luckily, she received no answer. Duke wasn't too far from the fence.

Finally, the catgirl licked Brenda. Who got under her. The catgirl laid on its side for Brenda to better enjoy herself. Brenda approached the catgirl, and slurped out... finding herself thrown off. Too much pressure.

-Oh my god!- she said, licking her lips and approaching the cat again. Then she took a deep breath, and started chugging her down. And down, and down. Until they were around the same size. At that point, Brenda got on top of her before drinking more... finally, she stopped. At that point, they had exchanged sizes: the cat was eleven feet tall, and Brenda was thirty-eight feet tall. Her breasts... defied description. The rest of her... too. Holding the cat up to herself, she started again, drinking her down to nothingness, one inch at a time. In less than a minute, the cat's eleven feet were only six feet. In another minute, the cat was three feet tall. And a minute later, the cat was down to one inch, while Brenda was up to a full, glorious height of forty feet. Somehow, her underwear STILL endured.

Down to one inch. Against forty feet. The cat was as a fly to her, exactly. She once more turned to Duke.

-A little help up there?

-You know that I can't.

-It's not much. I'm a bit too big now, I need you to milk her for a bit.

Duke sighed.

-I think it will be easier for them than for me.- he said, pointing at the small cylindrical object on the desk.

-Hmm... you're right, Duke.- Brenda smiled, before putting the catgirl, one inch, next to the other two, each smaller than a fifth of inch.

-By the way, how are you going to take care of yourself?- Duke asked.

-Oh, I will.- she said, looking at the ground.- There it is.- she smiled, taking out one grate from the ground.- Okay, ten tons of woman going down the drain.- she said, sticking her nipple out of her miracle bra, in the space where the grate once was. Then she started fondling that breast with both hands... and quickly enough, she went down the drain, one foot at a time. Sighing and moaning slowly, she dwindled out of her forty feet, until she was only thirty feet. That's when she put her other nipple. She stopped that treatment after she was twenty-five feet tall.

At that point, the grate was too big for her nipples to touch both sides. That's when she stuck in both nipples. That helped her until she was down to fifteen feet. That's when she resorted to her hands instead. Pinching her nipples, two streams of white gushed out. She did it a second time, and a third time. The third time, she deflated, and deflated, and deflated... until she was down to six feet. And when she was there, she looked down at her bosom... and, in a last sigh, she looked up, closed her eyes, and started leaking through them. She leaked herself, and dwindled down one foot, and another, and another, and another... until she was only six inches tall. At that point, she got on the table, looking down on the rest of them, none of them (not all of them together) as big as her foot, and then got into a small taper that Duke had always wondered what was it there for. In it, she held the sides, and finally, her chest once more leaked out. She lost more and more of herself, the only thing keeping her from drowning being her arms, still holding to the edge, while right under them, her breast kept shrinking her.

Finally, she clambered out, and put her bra around her nipples once more. She let herself drop off the side of the taper, on the table, and approached the three of them. Now she, herself, was only level with the hips of the smallest one.

-Well...- she smiled.- It's a good thing you kept something for me, girls.

-Help yourself to a bit more.- the catgirl said, leaning down her breasts, the sole nipple bigger than her mistress, to the level of the table.

======

Sixteen hours later, after a short decontamination and shower, Duke was enveloped in a towel, sitting on a comfortable, rubbery bench, all of his bruises treated, bandages where pertinent. A superior (captain, lieutenant, colonel... he didn't care) approached him.

-So you're telling me that something escaped, and killed everyone, soldier?

-Yes, sir.- Duke sighed.

-And you're the only survivor, soldier.

-Yes, sir.- Duke said, taking a deep breath.

-Well, how did you survive?

-By teamwork and killing everything that wasn't human, sir.- Duke said.- And when they killed my teammate, I just ran like hell. Sir.

-Do you have anything that proves your claims, soldier?

-No, sir. Only over twenty dead with no corpses, sir.

-So you say, though it would've been easy to just toss them over to the sea, soldier?

-I wish there had been corpses to toss into the sea.- Duke said.- If you disbelieve me, you may search for evidence yourself. If you don't find a giant spiderweb in Lieutenant Einstein's office, please call me crazy. If you don't find a bloodstain that contains bones in the rug on the private wing, you may pin this all on one crazy soldier with a big gun, and send me for court martial, sir.

-What makes you think I won't do just that, even if I find evidence?

-If you leave it at that, if you see the evidence and leave, there's no need to explain anything to anyone. There's no need for a scapegoat. I don't even have to have survived. I don't have to have been there.- Duke grimaced.- But I don't mean to change your mind, sir. You're my superior. If you decide we need a scapegoat, I will not dispute your claim. If you will not believe me... I will not believe myself, sir.- he said, reeling slightly.- It will make no difference anyway.

That man (a colonel, by the way) shook his head.

"Alright, this man is obviously broken. We'll have that place checked... soon enough."

-Very well. As you were.- he said, leaving the room. Duke's eyes followed him. And then, he looked around. Then he found the camera.

======

Meanwhile, inside an isolated, indigestible plastic cylinder...

-A little more ugliness, this could have been Doom.- Brenda commented.

-A little more mistery, this could have been Silent Hill.- the rabbit said, tossing in her two cents.

-A little more invulnerability, this could've been a good horror movie.- the mouse said, sighing.- I'd not have had to eat a spider that was bigger than me, too.

-A little less guns, and this could've been good stuff.- 3268 added.- There should've been more love and not as much war.

-MUCH more love.- the catgirl added.- Much more sex.

-A little more alien, and this could've been Species. Neat movie, don't you think?

-I don't think, I'm a virus.- 2234 said.- And if I weren't, I'd have better things to do than think.

-Really?

-Yeah. I can see a lot of things better than thinking right here.- 2234 said.- Four pairs of them.

-You don't think.- Brenda shrugged.- That's why you needed a living being to tell you how to make a digestive system.

-Hey, drop it already? I can already tell this relationship will be profitable for both of us, Brenda.

-And me?

-For the three of us, 3268.

Brenda smiled.

-Well, I can see it too. I can't wait to see just what are our limits.

-Limits? I don't even know 'er!- 2234 chuckled.

-That, Brenda, assuming your boyfriend keeps to his word.- the mouse said.- He's already fed me two of my partners.

-Don't worry about Duke.

-Yeah. If he changes his mind, we'll just turn him into you. Hey, that'd have worked from the start! Do you think we should...

-No, leave him alone.- Brenda stopped them.- That'd be too obvious.

-We could just eat his brain...

-Leave him alone, okay?- Brenda blurted.

-But you wanted him dead!- the rabbit said.

-In preference to Manfred, yeah. I'd rather not have had to deal with him, I knew he'd be more open to me, but... I didn't know if I wanted to take that advantage.

-We're alive, therefore we did the right thing.- 2234 said.- Also, we have a few announcements to make.

-Living flesh won't be all in the menu anymore.- 3268 said.- It was great while it lasted, but Brenda and I have been working on the digestive system, girls. Just in time so you didn't have to grow bored of that tasty dish.

-And we've been working on the proportions, too. They should be more flexible and not so fixed now.

-Good! Thanks!

-No, don't thank us.- 3268 said.- We want something, too. No representation without infection. If you want to keep working with us, make sure you keep working with us, or else we'll just pack up and leave.

-Err, okay!

Stabs · 01-27-2009

Chaos stage 5: Give it an inch

-...yes, I'm back already. Yes, it was sooner than expected. Something went wrong. Can't tell you, it's classified. Get riled on about this and I'm hanging up on you. No, don't come, I'm fine. I'm alright. Some people died, why do you care? They teach me how to deal with this. Look, look... I'm an adult, okay!? Oh, sorry. No, I didn't get a badge for this, I could've done better. We all could, we didn't, better luck next time. Well. Love you too. No, I'm alright. I'm with a friend. Yes, a girl friend. No, she doesn't live with me. I'm not lying! I'm living with her, it's different. I was just joking! Yes, she's here right now. No, she can't talk to you right now. No, she's not asleep. Yes, I think she's naked. Heh, I wish. Nah, I don't think she thinks I'm a sinner. More of a race traitor... no, she's not a nazi. Yes, I remember grandpa too. Look... can I just...? Okay, that's enough. Let's say goodbye now that the reception's still good, okay, mom? Bye!

Duke hung his cell. And then grunted.

-Pizza's arrived, the movie's over.- he shook his head. Then he finally decided to do what he meant to do for the last week, and went to the bathroom. Standing in front of the sink, looking at his own reflection in the mirror. He ran a finger along his mouth, grabbing a hair that was enwrapped around one tooth. Then he took his toothbrush, and used it to slowly pull the hair out. It was difficult, and uncomfortable, but it would end soon. Grimacing, he hit his uvula with the toothbrush. It sent a spasm through his esophagus, allowing the small object at the end of the hair to rise a bit more through it. Then, with a last effort of will, coughing, he pulled out a small, hollow plastic cylinder. Then he swallowed, breathing deeply, and grabbed the cylinder. He looked at it, dirty and foul-smelling, like anything that had been in a stomach for a week. Rinsing it in lukewarm water, he went out of the bathroom and into the kitchen.

There, he clicked the cylinder open and placed it on the table. No small amount of thoughts went through his head at the time, considering the implications of this act. In the end, he was surprised to discover he had already chosen what to do. The cylinder opened. And within it, he saw several figures, each smaller than one inch. If all of them had gotten on top of each other, even then they wouldn't have measured one inch. He leaned his face to the edge of the table, placing his mouth and nose below the table, leaving only his eyes level with them.

-Hello?- he said.- Is everyone alive?

The many figures stretched. He could've sworn he had heard their joints crack. At that moment, he deigned pay attention to them again... albeit they were roughly the same size and proportions, they all had some distinctive traits. Even if it had to be only in their colors. These creatures had all women's bodies, but one of them was the darkest. She had red hair, and two ears that he'd only seen in cats before... and in her, of course. Same for her hairy tail. The other one was very pale, with white skin, white fingernails... white and pink everywhere. And two round ears he'd have expected only in mice. Plus a thin, tapering, hairless, pink tail. There was another one, of an average complexion, with golden hair. Her eyes, albeit small, were blue... and she had no traits that deviated from humanity (except for her itsy-bitsy size). And the last one had the same looks as the previous, but her large ears and fluffy short tail looked like she'd been an escapee from the Playboy manor.

Duke himself looked... he had an average face with signs of three days' worth of stubble, brown eyes, and really short hair. Albeit he wasn't really muscular, he was lean, and most importantly, he was clean. There was also the fact he wore a black shirt with a skull, and shorts. That's what he looked like when not on duty. Good taste was a lost cause on him.

-We're all alive, soldier.- the blonde figure joked. He called her Brenda, but he called all of them Brenda. The difference was that she really was Brenda. The other ones just claimed to be Brenda.
-Good, Brenda. I'm glad you survived. I trust we won't have to do this ever again? I didn't really have a good time...
-Neither did we. May I recommend you something for halitosis?
-Did you have to make yourself vomit?
-No, it actually came really easy for us.- she said.- Just kidding, we had a nice trip. By the way, the fat layer on your stomach was delicious.

Duke mouthed for a moment.

-You didn't really...?
-Kidding, again! No, we didn't have to. Halfway across the trip, we discovered digesting part of ourselves would also help conserve the air: less of us, less breath.
-What part?
-Remember that when we give milk we become smaller?
-Oh, right.- Duke sighed.
-You'd remember that if you had just joined us when...
-But I didn't.
-Why didn't you? Don't come to me with that "every bone in my body was broken" thing. I don't know a man who'd have been stopped by that.
-Now you do.- Duke said.- Drop it. Anything I can get you? A donut? A glass of milk? A dozen stray cats tied and ready to be eaten?

Brenda smiled. The other ones looked around.

-No, Duke, I think you'll do just nicely.
-What do you mean?- he asked. To her, the voice came from below the table.
-Well...- she started, tilting her head, and approaching his eyes. -You know, Duke, it might very well be the last time I'm this small. So I might as well have fun, right? I can think of a thousand things I could do only right now. And then, never anymore...

The way she said this made this guy recoil.

-Err, no offense intended, but...
She leaned forward.
-No offense intended? For a man you've been acting really strange. Am I ugly or what?
-It's not that. I just...
-Are you gay?
-For god's sake, no!- he said.- I merely... don't find it appropriate...
-See? It wasn't you being a bit too smashed to death all this time. Something's wrong with you, and I mean really wrong, if you're not thinking with your dick right now.

He blinked in silence.

-Perhaps.- he whispered.- Nevermind. What can I get you?
-How about an answer?- she asked.
-Well, obviously you don't have any problems right now... so I'll leave you all alone for a moment. Have some frest air, there's a little water over there, and that's a fruit. I'll be in the bathroom.

He moved away quickly, not hearing Brenda yell behind him.

======

-What IS wrong with this guy?- Brenda asked herself out loud. The other three approached her.
-What's the matter?
-I don't get him.- she said.- After what I suggested, his brain should've went through complete meltdown, if any experience serves right. But apparently, he wouldn't know what to do with a naked woman if she was in his arms begging him to take her there and then.
-He shot a lot of us.- the mouse said.
-Yes! Perhaps he's still worried you'll kill and eat him now.- the cat suggested.
-Isn't that what we should be doing?- the rabbit said.
-No. No one eats him.- Brenda said.- At least not until I figure out what's wrong with him.

-And how are you doing that?- the others asked.
-Well, I think I know... lower me to the ground.
-That's almost a metre. It's like a kilometre to us. You can't jump down that much.
-No... but then again, I don't have to.- Brenda smiled.- Duke left my hair tied on the cylinder. Let's grab that cylinder.
For a cylinder larger than all of them, they certainly moved it very far. All the way to the edge of the table. Then they pulled on the wet hair, until it was hanging down the table. It was over forty centimetres long... and reached down all the way to a chair. The styrofoam would cushion the rest of their fall: albeit it would feel like thirty metres, they knew it was only ten centimetres.

One by one they climbed down the strand of hair, and fell on the chair. The styrofoam cushion indeed cushioned well the rest of the fall.

-Now what?- the mouse asked.
-Now we go down the edge of the chair. Look! There's a loose strand.- the cat suggested.

Eventually they got on the ground. Brenda was surprised at her own speed. Even being the size of a fly, she didn't feel so much slower than when she was normal-sized. And quickly enough, they found their way under the bathroom door.

Where she found, of course, Duke. Standing next to the toilet. Zipper down. Angsting in his mind about something. Then he shook his head. -What have I just seen?- he whispered to himself. Then he grabbed his... you know, and waited for a moment. Brenda stopped the others from going any further. They looked with attention as Duke's unmentionable lengthened to a final length of...

...just three and a half inches.

-So I finally get to meet it.- Brenda chuckled.
-It's really, really small.- the rabbit commented.
-I haven't seen a smaller one ever. For that race, I mean.- the mouse commented.
-Are you sure it's male?- the cat asked Brenda.- Perhaps it's just its breasts are as small.
-Hey, don't be mean!- Brenda said, a bit too loud. At that moment, Duke's ear caught on something just as his hand grabbed something. He turned his face and eyes, and saw... something that made him put everything back into place at Mach 2. Then he leaned down, leaning back with his hips to hide something that really didn't need hiding.

-Brenda, don't follow me into the bathroom!- he said, softly. Nevertheless, the speed of the air out of his mouth was enough to make them stand back.
Brenda motioned at him to come closer. Duke grabbed the toilet paper, tore off a little bit, and put it on the ground, motioning at them to approach. But Brenda was more insistent... and finally, she managed to get him to budge.

-Duke, what's going on? Why don't you share a little?
-That's not it, Brenda.
-So what? Would you rather jack off than have sex with a woman?
Duke made a little pause. He tried to absorb that, and make sure he heard it right.
-Brenda, I'm not sure it's appropriate...
-Oh shut up.- she said.- Appropriate? What do you care about appropriate? You already put four nigh-unstoppable, dangerous lifeforms in the mainland. What's your problem now?
-Just a few things I don't understand. We're separate species now... are you sure this is right?
-We aren't separate species. I just caught the mutant flu.- she said, waving her hand dismissively.
-And you aren't going to pass it to me if we...?
-No, I'm not. It doesn't work like that.
-How do you know?
-To pass it to you, I'd need to mix something mine with your bodily fluids. Right now, Duke, I don't think I could bring enough friction to reach one of your blood vessels. And if I did, I'd not drool over it.- she smirked.- Besides, you can get preservatives right now, can't you?
-Yes, I can, but...
-Then go ahead! I'll be waiting for you, tiger.
Duke looked around.
-Are you sure it's alright?
-We're all sure it's alright, aren't we?- Brenda asked her companions.- Now go, damnit. And if you try to avoid me again, I'm going to do like a grub and dig between your ribs and sternum in your sleep until I reach your heart. Then I'll make you sick from the inside out.
-Don't threaten me. It's laughable.- he said, shaking.
-Then why aren't you laughing?- Brenda chuckled.

Duke rolled his eyes. Then he put his thumb for them to climb aboard, and looked around.

-Is there any place you want to be, in particular?
-In the sofa. We'll be waiting for you.- Brenda said.- More seriously, do you have any meat?
-Not right now.- Duke said, blinking. I'll go to the mart tomorrow. We've been at my flat for only three hours, you know.
-Tomorrow? Okay, but not later. The girls are hungry.- Brenda smiled.
-By the way, do they have names?
-Not really. I call them mouse, rabbit, and cat, but they'll all claim to be Brenda, like me.
-That's creepy.- Duke said, dropping them in the sofa. Then he left, slowly. However, Brenda heard his steps became more energetic once he was out of sight.
-Men. Why do they have to be so difficult?
-They aren't difficult.- the mouse said.- They're made of meat. That's all I've needed to know last week. And before that, I only had to know that they fed me, but that they already had an horrible end in mind for me.- the mouse said.- Back then when I was nothing but a labrat, I mean.
-Hey, that's exactly the same that I knew.- the cat said.- Minus the gruesome end. I was the janitor's cat.
-No exceptions for me.- the rabbit said.- Weren't it for those virii, I'd probably be dead already. And in a really morbid way.
-You're welcome!- synthetic YTR strains 2234 and 3268 said in unison.- Just remember to infect something when you can. We get bored too.
-I get really, really bored...- Brenda sighed.

======

Duke returned quickly enough. With a small pack of Trojans. He found them, surprisingly enough, where he had left them.

-I'm back.- Duke said, with the sort of predatory smile that Brenda had been waiting for.
-That's how I like it.- Brenda said, returning the smile, and sending a shiver down his spine. Being fearsome doesn't make you fearless, as any animal can testify.
-So... what are we doing?- Duke asked.
-Don't you have ANY imagination at all!?- Brenda asked.- Okay, you're going to sit down, for starters.
Duke sat down.
-Good boy. Now pull down your...
-Don't boss me around.- Duke said, staring her down. The smile had been wiped away sometime in the last fraction of second.
-Don't speak up to me, you big...
-I want it sweet, I won't settle for sour. If I'm just going to do this because...
-You want this as badly as I do, perhaps more. So stop being difficult about it, stupid, and...
-That's it, Brenda. I'm not a toy, I'm NOT stupid, and I REALLY don't have to take this from you or anyone. Go have fun alone.- he said, taking the remote, and putting the news channel.
-What...!?- Brenda shouted.- Listen up! I'm not going to take this either! Do you understand, you little, tiny, negligible, itsy-bitsy prick?
Duke turned his eyes to her for a moment, before utterly ignoring her. She frowned, until she finally saw that his boner was really dying. At that moment, she sighed. It's strange how some things are more eloquent than even the straightest words.
-Alright, I'm sorry. I just got a bit carried away on the spirit of the moment, Duke. I know you're a person, but it's been a difficult change for me. I mean, look at me! You have to understand.

Duke turned off the TV. And looked back at her.

-Alright, Brenda. Do you want to talk about it?
-Certainly, talking is the last thing I want to do.- she said.- Right now, I don't want it sweet. I want it spicy. I thought you wanted it spicy too. And also, Duke, you can't blame it all on me. You're the most frustrating person I know.
-I'm frustrated and confused too.- he sighed.- Okay, Brenda. Let's do this.
-Of course, sweetie.- she said. He lowered his zipper, he pulled down his underwear, he opened the small pack of rubber... at that time, he felt something insignificant leaned its weight on him.
-You can save that. I want to savor this. It'll do me good.
Duke's eyes adopted a strange position.
-If you say so.- he said, putting the pack away and letting nature (deceived as it was) run its course.
-Don't do anything... don't do anything. Just close your eyes, tilt your head back. Let me see what am I capable of.

Duke took a deep breath, and tried to relax. He wondered how was it possible he still could hear her voice. Then he remembered that beliums were logarhytmic. What that meant, he didn't know. Then again, little babies could make as much noise as full-grown humans with about as much effort... he tried not to think, he tried to relax. He felt something climbing over his hip, towards his pelvis. It was slow, but he was already full... of anticipation.

Finally he felt something on his pelvis. He tried, very hard, not to shudder. Then he felt two, three, four... and looked down. Brenda wasn't alone. She had brought all her little friends. The mouse, the cat, the rabbit... they were all over his...

-Brenda!?- he asked.
-Don't worry, we're alright.- she said. Duke frowned for a moment, trying not to think. Trying very hard not to think. For once in his life, he succeeded in doing something that didn't involve shooting at people. With bullets, you sicko.

The four of them climbed over a soft cylinder. However, the more they moved, the harder and straighter it became. Luckily, Duke wasn't reading this. He was just feeling it. It became more and more difficult to stay on top; the straighter it became, the higher it rose. Albeit it was... small, for each of them, an inch was as ten metres: climbing Duke's member was thirty-five metres. The first ten metres, they only needed their feet to stay there. But as it became more vertical, they had to use the hands too, until they reached fifteen metres. And finally, they leaned their entire bodies on it, holding on the folds that they made on its skin, with great effort, until they got to the twenty-five metres, where they reached the top. It sloped inwards from there on. Duke felt each movement. He was aroused, no denying it. One by one, they reached the top, where it was most sensitive. At that point, the folds of skin finished, and the fleshy insides began. Soft and yummy as they looked, all of them avoided starting eating Duke from there, like Brenda had said. She reached there last... finding Duke's tip wet. She leaned down to it.

-Well, look what do we have here...- she said, smiling.- It's so lively... so lovely... but most importantly, so lively...

She leaned down. There was something alive in that liquid. And it was very dissolved... but at this point, she'd have settled for anything. She draught a mouthful, another mouthful, another mouthful... the rest of them stood back.

-So have you already figured out Duke? Can we eat him now?- the rabbit asked.

At that point, Duke opened his eyes, and looked down.

-No. No one eats Duke. Ever.- Brenda said, smiling.- I love him.
The three of them had enough tact to realize it wasn't the moment to ask what was that about. Brenda's mouth was busy elsewhere.

Despite the large water content, Brenda was finally starting to assimilate a visible amount of matter. Duke forgot everything, and instead felt what was going on on his nether region. Finally, he finished. Leaning forward, he checked on Brenda. Who was covered in a large amount of... you know. And downing it greedily, growing as she assimilated living matter. That matter could stay alive for as long as forty-eight hours away from his body, so it was almost perfect.The others, on the other hand, were safe.

"She was right. This wouldn't happen again." Duke thought, now not as horny as he was before.

======

-So what can I do to make you comfortable this night?- Duke asked, three hours later.

At this moment, Brenda was an inch tall. The other three were coming up to her navel when she was kneeling, and didn't look happy about it.

-Well, Duke, I want to share some more...- Brenda smiled.- Look at them. You wouldn't leave them hungry this night, would you?

Duke rolled his eyes, before looking at them.

-I don't think... oh, what the hell. Let's do it, for what it's worth.
-Thanks, Duke! I knew I could count on you...
-But when all the spicy sex is over, Brenda... what are you going to do next?
-I'll think about that.- she said.- By now, I don't need to think about what's next.
-Actually, by the terms of our contract...- 2234 and 3268 started, when she cut them off.
-Oh, come on, let me enjoy this.

Knowing she was five times (or rather a hundred and twenty-five times) her original size at the moment was something that aroused Duke. Albeit he knew it was more of a testament to her smallness than to his size, knowing he had come that much was instilling something that resembled confidence on him. At the same time, the part of him that was worried about being eaten now wanted to be eaten. Completely. He wanted to see what happened then. Reason, of course, had already reasoned that if he was eaten completely, he wouldn't be able to know what would happen next. And it had been completely ignored afterwards. An effective defense mechanism.

Again in the sofa, the four of them were ready to start all over again. Except this time, Brenda was five times larger than the other three. She first knelt down and kissed his member. He felt that, more powerfully than he had felt any of the others. Then she put her arms all around it. She managed an arm lock.
But then it rose. Pumped with blood, it became three and a half times her size. She did her best, but even then, she couldn't maintain the hold; it kept thickening, and finally, she had to release it. It jerked for a moment, throwing her to his pelvis.

-Ah!- she gasped.- I'm enjoying this...- she said, once more approaching it, and putting her arms around it. But now, it was too thick. So she instead gave it whatever hug she could, putting her breasts on it, and then rubbing her crotch against it. She felt Duke was almost done.

-Not so quickly, it isn't for me.- she started. Then she let go of him, and grabbed the mouse. At this point, she was, compared to Brenda, a small dog. Brenda clambered up Duke's shaft, and placed the mouse there... then she kept working. The flesh was soft, it was easy for her to make footholds and handholds. It was just a matter of applying pressure and then holding. Rubbing herself against it, she had Duke end it again.

-Great!- she smiled.- Can you do that again, Duke?- she asked.

-Yes, I can.- Duke said, smiling.

And he did. Despite he was not really well-endowed, he worked hard. And so, they took turns, until finally Duke was out of it. He felt a little disappointed (everyone did), but five times... was on the higher side of the norm, right? Two for Brenda, one for each of the others. Then he decided to call it a day.

======

When he woke up, Duke took a moment before collecting his thoughts. Yes, he had smuggled several man-eating mutants from an installation where they had eaten everyone else, and he had done it just because a chick he had met there happened to become one of them. Yes, he had managed to do that undetected. Now what had they been doing the whole night?

-Good morning, honey.- he heard next to his ear. He shuddered. The voice was familiar. He turned around and saw Brenda. She was still but (cubic root of two) inches tall. Next to her, three more women, each of them an inch tall, each resembling a different animal, looked at him pleadingly.

-Can you make breakfast?- Brenda asked. Duke opened his eyes... turned to the other side, and saw 8:47 AM in his clock. It was time for him to get up, get dressed, and get making breakfast, yes.

-Good morning... okay. What can you eat?
-Anything, actually.- Brenda smiled.- But we'd like some milk. As fresh as possible.
-Huh.- Duke hummed.- Okay, milk it is...

-Not the one on your fridge!- Brenda said.- It's at least a week old. And not the one that conserves well. And not very cold! And don't give us anything low in fat unless you're trying to get yourself killed! Oh, by the way, make it a couple litres for each of us.
-Okay, fresh, fat, short life milk, preferably from a naturist products store, several damn litres.- Duke grunted, getting up. He then put on his black shirt, a pair of pants, and two tennis. From the bedside table he had next to the sofa, for he didn't have a proper bed, he took his wallet. Then he walked out of the house...

-So what are we going to do today?- the mouse asked.
-We can't just wait here until we're big enough.- the cat said.
-This is as small as I've ever been.- the rabbit said.- Why is it that when I got bitten for the first time, I grew to weigh 140 pounds, and now I'm stuck at...?
-Calm down.- Brenda said.- I know it's a slow process, but we'll be big again soon enough.
-How soon?- the mouse asked.- I want to be forty feet tall again.
-Soon enough. We'll be eating more and more substancious meals, until we can once more consume live prey. At that point we'll be eating bigger and bigger animals, until...
-I don't think there are any really big animals here.- the cat said.- Aren't humans the biggest you can find here?
-They were in the station...
-Don't you worry, okay? I know we'll be big enough in no time...- Brenda said, but she was interrupted by...
-You still have to infect something.- YTR-2234 said.- We aren't here just to make sure you have spicy sex with Daffy.
-His name is Duke!
-I liked you better when you wanted to eat him.- the rabbit told Brenda.
-We will infect something. Don't doubt that. But right now, we need Duke to keep us safe. There's nothing smaller than us right now; once there is, we'll eat it.
-I hope so.- the cat said.- I don't want to sleep with Duke again. He's got no tail at all.
-And his ears are strange, like yours.- the mouse said.
-And his penis is terribly small...

Duke sneezed.

-Leave him alone, will you?- Brenda sighed.- Besides, what do you complain about a small penis? You're smaller than...!
-But it could be bigger, and we won't always be this small. Soon enough we'll be bigger than anything else.
-Yes, we will.- Brenda said.- I'm looking forward to that moment.

======

Duke returned. He approached the couch once more, carrying a few bags.

-Alright. Eight damn litres of expensively fresh milk, normal fat and calories and proteins.
-Thanks a lot, Duke.- Brenda whispered.- I really appreciate you helping us regain our true size.

At the sound of "true size" Duke stiffened.

-What's the matter?
-Nothing. I was just thinking... don't you think the ceiling's really, really high?
-To me, it should be, but it isn't.- Brenda said.- Why do you ask?
-Oh, I was just thinking... how great the universe is. How small we all really are. So, about that milk...
-Yes?
-In a teacup?
-A teacup would be fine.
-What's a teacup?
-I'll show you.- Duke said, laying down a hand for them to climb on. Now, rather than walk around in his palm, they had to sit down.

He laid them on the table, and put there a teacup. Then he put the cartons of milk in his fridge, and poured one in a jar.
-What are you doing?- Brenda asked.
-I'm just warming it a bit.- Duke said.- Drinking several times your body weight in cold drinks could be bad for you.
-Oh.- Brenda said.- I hadn't thought it from that angle. Okay, go ahead.

Duke put the metal jar on the fire, which he set to minimum. He waited for a minute, and then poured the cup full of hot milk. Brenda looked around the teacup... seeing a small structure.
-This teacup's got a thermometer, Duke!
-Yes, it does. A fair, several years ago... don't ask. I was sort of drunk.
-So you're serving us milk at forty degrees.
-Yes. I don't know how do you keep warm, with that thin skin and running around naked all day long.
-That's easy! We consume large amounts of food for our size.- the cat said.
-We also stay close cuddling together.- the mouse said.
-Last of all, we stay close to you when we can. All that you have on top keeps your temperature warm enough for us.- the rabbit added.
-Oh, that explains it.- Duke said, shaking his head. Then he stood back, and poured himself some milk with cereals. Despite his breath betrayed his habit of coffee in the morning.
He finished his cereal slowly, looking at thin air, trying to ponder, but his thoughts always returned, once and again, to "I shouldn't have to choose", "oh god is this difficult" and "why me". The most pitiful part was that he didn't notice that detail.

And so, without touching half his cereal, Duke discovered that they had finished before he did. And boy had they grown. Now they were each as tall as one of his fingers, and twice as thick.

-More?- Brenda asked.
-Eh?- Duke said as he woke up.
-Something in your mind?- Brenda asked.
-Nothing much, actually.- Duke said, smiling. Then he took the teacup again, and gave them a refill.

This time, as they drank, he looked. He allowed himself to be surprised and aroused with each time he saw them take a mouthful, gulp it down, rinse and repeat. He was sure no one could drink that much in relation to their bodies. However, the extremely quick change they seemed to undergo apparently wiped them clean of that limit or any other. He shivered when he noticed that the change was noticeable. He looked away for just a moment, and when he looked again, he had visual confirmation that they were a bit taller. Then one of them turned to him. Right now, the cat saw his face bleached of all color.

And he immediately turned away, grabbing the jar again. Another refill. He wondered how many times their own mass in milk were they going to drink. He, himself, had never liked milk. Specially not hot milk. The only reason he ate corn flakes with milk was that they were disgusting with water. Also, he had never tried them with that kind of milk. Not with one that boasted how fresh it was; hell, he even had to pay for the bottles in which they bottled it before his eyes. Usually, he'd have considered it beneath himself to question its actual freshness, reasoning that since he wasn't a serious milk consumer, that wasn't his problem. Right now, however, even wondering if milk was really fresh seemed refreshing after having to consider whether he was betraying the human race or just hiding a dangerous pet. Certainly, no one would hold it against him if he took it upon himself to hide a bear despite it had killed two people, right? Bears, after all, are endangered species... but this wasn't an endangered species. Those were humans, and there were procedures that dealt with people who killed people... no, those weren't humans. They were animals... and there were procedures that dealt with animals that killed humans. Then again, he hadn't seen any of them kill anyone. So it... was giving him a headache rather than calming him down.

He decided he wasn't looking at them in the third teacup. So he quickly finished his cereal, almost with tachicardia, and leaned his elbows on the table, holding up his head.

But then they finished a third teacup. He poured them a fourth one. Which he saw them drink faster... before he realized that yes, they were drinking each teacup faster than they had draught the previous. Because they were getting larger. At least, they weren't worth, even collectively, a pound at the moment. Right now, if he reached for his shoe, he was still able to crush each of these things before they were larger than cockroaches...

Speaking of cockroaches, they had finished a fourth teacup. If he served them a fifth, how long would it take them to drink it whole? He looked at them. Right now, they were all twice the size of the teacup, standing up. And Brenda was slightly larger than the rest. They were looking at him demandingly now.

-Duke.- the mouse said.

He continued to stare in the middle of them.

-Duke?- the cat asked.

He still didn't wake up. Boy, was he terrified.

-Earth calling Duke. Earth calling Duke. Copy us, soldier?- Brenda asked.
-Duke!- the rabbit commanded. His reddened eyes locked on her red eyes.
-Alright, wake up.- Brenda said. Duke gasped, and then looked at her.- Y... yes?
-Waiter, another cup.

Duke shook slightly.

-Please?- she asked.

He nodded, and poured them another cup. They greedily got to the task of gulping it down. In the middle of it, he interrupted.

-How many of those are you planning to drink today?- he asked.
-Hm?
-I asked how many of those are you planning to drink today. You've already draught five of those.
-Oh. Well, I hadn't thought about that. I suppose we should end up drinking around nine cups.
-Nine?- he asked.
-Nine, yes. Or twelve.
-Isn't that a bit much?
-No, it isn't more than you're having for breakfast.- Brenda said.- Now, please.

Duke's lip trembled.

-Okay.- he said. Then he poured them the seventh... and the eighth... at that moment, they were already two and a quarter times the height of the cup. Then he poured down the ninth, and tenth, and eleventh, and the twelfth, observing, with relief and stupor (mainly stupor), that their bodies were now, rather than growing in height, expanding. Giving them a plump look.

-Hey, that's new.- he said. However, his voice (and the color of his face) betrayed his actual feelings on the matter. Which were, in this order: fear, surprise, shock, disjointment, lack of recognition, and an overwhelming desire to just faint there and then and gain thus at least a moment of relief.
-Hm? Oh, my bad... you were right, it was a bit too much.- she said.- I suppose we can't digest food as quickly as we can digest flesh... besides, this is much more water than nutrients. We might be retaining some fluids.
-Anything I should do?
-No, you've seen firsthand the speed of our methabolisms.- Brenda said.- This will go away on its own.
-As you say.- Duke said, trying to smile.
-Geez, for a soldier, you really don't have much stomach.- she said, raising one eyebrow.- So, what do you do for fun?
-I... sometimes, I read the newspaper.- Duke said, much more calmly.- There's also the news. And, sometimes, when there's something on the cinema, I go.
-And is there anything on the cinema at the moment?
-No. Not really.- Duke sighed.- I used to have a gameboy, too.
-Gameboy? Wait. How old are you?
-I'm... twenty-nine.
-Twenty-nine! And you had a gameboy?
-Yes, I had a gameboy.- he said, raising an eyebrow.- What about it?
-No, it's just... last year, the Wii was all the rage.
-It is, but... it's also a bit too rich for my blood.- Duke said, rolling his eyes.

Brenda looked away for a moment. This gesture confused Duke.

-There's something I want to ask you, Duke.- Brenda said. Duke blinked again... and wondered what would it be. Probably some difficult question about loyalty and whether he meant to kill her, or what would he do if after he woke up one morning he found her playing King Kong with her friends.
-... yes.
-Yes what?
-Yes, ask me.
-Alright, here goes... what happens with you now?

Duke paled some more.

-What... happens with me now...- he repeated.
-Profesionally, I mean. You just left a station as the only survivor, what are they going to do with you?
-Oh, that.- Duke said, laughing a little in relief.- Well, they... gave me a little bonus and a couple weeks.
-Do you mean they didn't promote you?- Brenda asked, raising another eyebrow.
-Oh, they would have... but their sanity standards have improved and I'm still in post traumatic shock...- he said.
-What do you mean? Are you in shock right now?
-Oficially, officially...- Duke started, before sighing and giving up.- No, Brenda. I really am in a little of a conundrum, a bit confused...
-This better not be about the virus again.- Brenda said, frowning.

Her gesture seemed to challenge Duke. Color returned to his face as he returned the frown.

-So what if it is?- he asked.- Do you understand what I'm going through?
-You don't know what I am going through...- she started.- I never asked to be this small...
-Your part goes away by itself. Mine is a little more troublesome. I know I did the wrong thing in helping you get out.
-Well, why don't you rectify it, then? I think your shoes are big enough...
-That's not what troubles me.- Duke interrupted.- The part that troubles me is that I don't care at all!
-Then what troubles you?
-What does that say about me? I'm about to unleash a plague of colossal antropophagic mutants, and I don't give a damn about the people who're going to die. What kind of person am I?

Brenda blinked.

-I suppose that's what we call an acolyte, only without a cult. The sooner you come to terms with that, the better for you.

Duke gasped.

-Geez. I'm a freaking cultist. Yeah, that sounds great. And it's this easy to say goodbye to all I believed in before, because I'm made of mud, right?
-You said it, not me.
-That's right, I said it.- Duke hissed.- Well, I always thought the day I joined the dark side would be a bit more... climactic than this.
-You can always turn gay in the middle of a musical and sing alongside, if it makes you happy.- Brenda said, smiling.

Duke made a dismissive gesture. Then he smiled. And in his smile, there was something harmless... that had just died. And something deadly that was rising to its rightful place.

-Do tell me when you feel like eating some more, Brenda.
-Yeah, about that, Duke... now that you feel a lot more cultist, perhaps you could start serving me a bit more.

Duke sneered.

-What is your will, mistress?
-Make it goddess.- Brenda answered, smiling.- Bring me more cultists, Duke. I need to spread my essence.
-Sure, of course, goddess.- Duke said, rolling his eyes.- Where do I get those?
-That's the hard part, and I leave it to you, mortal, but it can wait. By now, just bring me an animal whose kind I haven't infected before.
-Good. Echidna or condor?- he asked.- Where would I get a rare animal?
-There are plenty in shops, or the pound.- she answered.- We didn't get to test the virus in dogs. It doesn't have to be rare.
-Alright.- Duke smiled.- I'll bring you a dog. Any particular race?
-Something mixed of average size... you know, it better not be a dog...- she said.- How about a cow?
-Now where the hell would I be getting a cow?- Duke asked, frowning.- They don't live in the city, you know...
-Well, there's always the country...

Duke closed his eyes for a moment.

-Better wait a few hours before suggesting anything else, Brenda. You're starting to spew nonsense. Focus on getting better by now, later we can talk business...
-No, I can't focus on getting better, Duke, because I can't hold it anymore. I need to transform something. Today.- Brenda said.- This isn't water we're thick with. It's vector.
-What?- Duke asked, frowning.
-Vector. Viral contagion vector.
-Ah, now I get it.- Duke said, rolling his eyes.- I'll be certain to find you something.
-Good, because if we have to get you, we will.- Brenda said, threateningly.- I doubt you want to spend the rest of your life as a man-eating buxom woman, Duke.
-Who says I don't?- Duke joked, before leaving for the second time in the day.- I'll go find you a dog...
-A bitch!- Brenda said.- Don't forget that detail!
-I won't.- he finished.- A bitch, just like I am your bitch.

======

The rabbit tapped Brenda on the shoulder. Brenda turned around.

-Does this mean we can trust him now?
-We always could trust him. It's just he didn't know it.
-What do you mean, Brenda?- the mouse asked.
-He's already one of us. Not that he is infected, but he obviously is some sort of deranged psycho without moral compunctions of any sort against death.
-If he's one of us, can we make him one really and then have a little fun with his proportions?- the cat asked.- You know it's really small, his...
-No. He doesn't get anything to grow at all. That's only for us.
-But you had him get you a dog...
-Of course, we need our ranks to swell a bit too. Besides, I wonder what dog will Duke bring. I mean, at this point, he's probably thinking that tonight, he's going to have sex with the dog.
-Did it have to be a dog?- the cat asked.- Couldn't it have been... a small bird?
-No, too strange for my taste.- Brenda said.- We'll have a lot of fun, don't worry.
-It's not fun we're after. It's meat.- the rabbit said.- Couldn't he have brought a large dog for us to eat?
-Once we're the size to eat a large dog, we're going to hit the pound ourselves and eat every single dog we find. And do it again once they bring more strays.
-That sounds good...- the mouse said.- What do we do in the meantime?
-Well, now that we're several thousand times the size we started out here, now that we're six inches tall, now that we're bigger than his dick...- she smiled.- I suppose we can should start finding something to cover ourselves with.
-What? What for?- the cat asked.
-For the warmth... and to keep things from Duke's eyes all the time. We wouldn't want him to get bored, would we?- Brenda asked, smiling.- So let's...

-Why do we listen to her?- the mouse asked the rabbit, whispering.
-Because we say so.- YTR 2234 and 3268 said.
-And why do we listen to them?- the rabbit asked.
-Because we make so.- the virii said.
-And why do you make so?- the mouse asked.
-Because she's the only one with any genetic engineering experience or creativity here, damnit.- the YTR strains sighed.- Last time we tried to do something stupid she was the one who saved us. And we're planning to do a lot of stupid stuff so we need her.
-You're pretty reasonable for a virus...- Brenda said.
-That's a good thing, right?

======

Duke returned, not quickly enough. He was surprised not to find them in the kitchen table, but eventually he found them... in the couch.

-I hope she is to your liking.- Duke said.- I didn't know what would you like in a dog, so...
-What would you like in a dog?- Brenda asked.
-I don't like dogs.
-Then why didn't you bring me something else?
-Everything else was a cat or flew.- Duke said.- And you? Did anything happ...

Duke looked at them again, barely containing the surprise at the clothes they had improvised. However, he recognized some of the fabric... and grimaced.

-Those were my best socks...
-Oh, come on. They had served their purpose, hadn't they? Doesn't the fabric look good on me?

Despite how much he hated to admit it, brown, thick fabric suited Brenda well. The others... well, he didn't want to think about it. However, he realized some of his socks were really frilly. One of them made quite a good red shirt for the rabbit; even the right fabric. And one of them had become two skirts. The truth was that yes, some of his socks did look better that way.

-Yes, it looks great.- Duke admitted.- What are you going to do when you outgrow them?
-Please, Duke. If I was not to wear clothes I wouldn't outgrow, I'd be around naked all day. And then you'd get used to it.- Brenda smiled.

Duke chuckled.
-You're right. It looks great on you, Brenda, and... the others. Well, this is a little bitch for you.- he said, lowering a small brown dog on the couch. It quickly looked around with puppy eyes, and then raised its tail, shaking it as it approached Brenda, licking her.
-It's precious... what race is it?- Brenda asked.
-Mixed, just like you wanted. Will it do?
-It's perfect.- she said.- Girls, I'll need help with this...- she said, taking swift licks on her belly. Even standing up, she could only barely come above the dog's head.
-Well, stop before it qualifies as bestiality.- she stood up, and then held the dog's head with her arms, placing her nose on her bosom, and resting her head on the dog's. Then she sat down, and the dog rested its head on her lap.

-Oh, Duke. By the way, the infection will make it grow very quickly to around your size in its first moments. You might want to stand back. And be careful, watching this might kill whatever innocence you've got left.

-Don't worry about me, I'm a cultist.- he answered, standing back. Then Brenda started... she scratched behind the dog's ear, and then stuck her head in its mouth. Where she regurgitated a large load of what seemed like sulphuric acid. The dog immediately stopped moving.
-It's not enough. You three, help me.- she said, standing back, looking completely flushed. The cat, mouse and rabbit did their parts. And then all of them stood back, as the dog started twitching and jerking.

Bit by bit, inch by inch, its limbs lengthened. Its torso first compressed under the ribs, then around the ribs, then it expanded. Its hips widened and widened. The tendons in its legs were covered by a layer of muscle. The hair retracted into the skin. Its body started occupying more and more of Duke's sofa. Speaking of Duke, the sight had left him speechless.

Its claws slowly transformed into fingers. Its snout sank. Its eyes widened. Its triangular ears rose more. Its head filled with brown hair. The area around the ribs thickened with flesh, and then the dog let out a moan. Finally, reshaped and rebuilt, it opened its eyes... seeing Brenda.

-Hello.- Brenda said.- My name's Brenda. I'll call you...

-HI!- the dog yelped. Then it grabbed Brenda and hugged her tight, perhaps a bit too tight, before the rest of them caught her attention. She opened her mouth, playfully, and then tried to move forward... falling from the couch instead, a bit dizzy at first due to the new rules for walking. But after crawling around in the rug for a moment, she finally got to what once would've amounted to a sitting position. She still had a rather breathless Brenda in hand.
-HI!- she said, again.- Hello! Hello!
-That's good enough.- Duke said, kneeling to meet her. She followed his voice in a fraction of second, and once more...
-HI!- she repeated.- Hello! HELLO!
-Lower your voice!- Duke commanded. To no effect.
-Hello!- once more.
-You're hurting her, put her away.- Duke said, grabbing her hand with which she held Brenda.
-NO! Over my corpse!- the dog answered.
Duke smiled.
-Put her down, now. Please. Be a good girl.
Immediately, almost violently, she put Brenda down. And then kept looking at Duke. Duke noticed she wasn't looking at his eyes, but at his ribs. Quickly, he snatched Brenda, and stood up. Then he looked at her.
-Are you okay?
-I'm... a bit dizzy, that's all. Watch out!- Brenda suddenly shouted, as Duke put his hip away and clutched the dog with an arm around its neck. He felt her nails on his legs...
-You can't eat Duke!- Brenda shouted.- Sit down and pay attention!
The dog stood back, looking angry. Then Duke stood back.
-Lower me, Duke.- Brenda commanded.- I'm sorry, it was too sudden. I forgot she wouldn't know first that she wasn't supposed to eat you.
-You still remembered on time...- Duke said, lowering Brenda to the ground. Brenda looked at the dog. Despite the dog was a thousand times bigger, Brenda seemed to still exert some kind of hypnosis on it.
-You've been bad.- Brenda said.- Now sit down.

The dog sat down.

-You don't get to hurt Duke.- Brenda continued.
The dog yelped for a moment.
-And you don't touch me unless I touch you first, dog!- Brenda finished. The dog leant its head down to the ground. Brenda slapped her on the nose. Then it rolled into a ball.
-Okay, you haven't been that bad. Get up, I forgive you.- Brenda said, caressing her behind the ears. The dog got up to its knees almost too quickly, and once more laid a paw on Brenda. Duke frowned.
-Stand up.
The dog didn't respond. She was looking at Brenda, with a lot of enthusiasm but not enough direction.
-I told you to stand up, dog!- Duke said, again. Still no answer.
-Look.- Duke said, grabbing her hand again, and putting Brenda away.- Brenda, you really need to get bigger.
-I know. Why is it you're asking her to stand up?- Brenda answered, with a sheepish smile, as soon as she regained her breath.
-Because I've got a bad feeling...- Duke said.
-Stand up. On your hind legs.- Brenda said, finally.
The dog stood up completely. It even bounced on the balls of its feet a bit. But even then, she came up only to Duke's chest. Which meant she was over four feet... eight. Smallest among the mutations.
Duke frowned, once more.
-I think this one was a bit young...
-She'll grow up. They all do.- Brenda grinned. Duke put her back in the sofa, and went to a nearby armoire, where he pulled out a few things.
-What are you doing?- Brenda asked.
-If she's young, she's not going to go around naked. Tell her to put these on.- he added, handing over a pair of swimming shorts and a shirt.
-Duke, you're a box of surprises.- Brenda smiled.- Okay, dog, put those on.
The dog kept looking at Brenda. She tilted her head a bit.
-Put on the clothes Duke is giving you.- Brenda commanded. The dog looked at Duke, and then grabbed the shirt, unfolding it, looking at it for a moment before slipping it over her head, and getting lost inside. Duke helped her on putting on the shirt and shorts, which were, frankly, way too big for her.
-She'll grow up, again.- Brenda smiled.- Oh, Duke, how lost your gesture on the dog will be soon enough...
-You know, perhaps dog, mouse, cat isn't working. Don't they need names, too?- Duke said.
-That's a good idea, Duke.- Brenda chuckled.- Perhaps I might call her Duchess and just call you bitch.
-I mean it. I need them to have names. I really do. Please, humor me. They can't all be called Brenda.
-Oh, alright.- Brenda said.- Brenda!?

All four antropomorphic creatures in the room approached her.

-From now on, you, rather than mouse, will be... err...- Brenda hesitated.- Jennifer. You, cat, will be... well, Andrea, and you, rabbit, will be Persephone.
-And the dog? That's the one who needs a name the most.- Duke said.
-We'll call her Lucky.
-No, seriously. Those are names I must come to fear and respect. And so must many others, Brenda. They're not pets.
-They aren't? Okay, you are...

Any suggestions, people?

BlazingBarrager · 01-28-2009

Oi...this is starting to sound like Resident Evil. I'm even shaking right with some of the stuff so far.

...awesome!

Stabs · 02-01-2009

Thank you so much, Blazing Barrager. I was wondering if I was doing it right. Perhaps it was too violent at first, but I will try to keep the violence down from now on.

Anurubius · 02-01-2009

I like this story a lot too, its very funny and pretty sexy

12-23-2008	#1
Stabs Frequent Poster Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 145	I'm trying, please be patient... This is my first try at some actual GTS writing. You know I can draw, but I don't enjoy it as much as I wish I did. I took so many liberties here I wish I could name them all. But I can't, and I won't. You will judge the quality yourself. "Twenty bucks say this was a pissed off employee with a gun." Portman, Doom. Duke stopped fiddling with his fingers for a while. Then he looked out of the window. "Are you sure that you're not itching to use the gameboy you brought? Your fingers tell me otherwise..." a woman's voice said, over the noise of the blades spinning through the air. The endless expanse of blue ocean below the helicopter seemed to go on and on forever. Perhaps because it did. Duke looked up at his captain. "I've already told you that I didn't sneak a gameboy aboard, miss." he said, with an almost military courtesy. On the inside, though, he was shivering. Referring to a woman as a superior... he didn't know if miss would cut it. Perhaps he was supposed to call her Sir, nevertheless? Sirrah? Lady? Milady? He had never really paid attention to proper greetings in academy... Looking up to meet his captain's brown, icy eyes, Duke did his best to repress any display of emotion. Her slow reaction was sending more shivers down his spine. At any time now, she'd speak up and berate him in front of the other five soldiers in the helicopter. But she didn't. After half a minute that seemed like an eternity, he realized that his captain wasn't interested in arguing. Not right now. That didn't calm him as much as it could have. He HAD snuck a gameboy aboard, nevertheless... "If I find a portable console, however, remember that I'm throwing it away immediately." the captain told him, finally. Duke nodded. "Yes, lad... miss." he stuttered. And then, one of his companions spoke up. "Permission to speak, miss." he said. Duke felt relieved that someone else had either made the same mistake or vindicated him as getting it right. So Duke looked at Jebediah, the one who spoke. Not a codename... their mission wasn't that important. As far as he knew, they were going to do guard duty in some ass-end spot of the world. Probably Anctartica or the likes. But that wasn't specific enough, and three of them were bothered by that. "Permission granted." the captain answered. Jebediah nodded. "I would know, if we have clearance, exactly what is the place we're supposed to guard." The captain hummed for a moment. "No, you don't have clearance. I can't tell you what that installation is." she said. "I can only tell you that I will have your heads in a pole if anyone gets in despite you." "The same pole for all heads?" Ray asked, next to Duke. His thin head belied an able body. Able, at least in body. Because his mind wasn't anything worth looking at. "Don't you all get uppity here." the captain finally said. "Guard this place. Two months. Then go back home, we'll find other morons to do your job. Is it that hard not to ask what this place is?" she asked. No one answered. "It was not a rhetorical question." she clarified. "Oh, god, something please make the bitch shut up... something please make her shut up, something please make her shut up..." Duke thought. The captain put her finger to her ear for a moment. Then she spoke up, making her voice clear despite the blades. "Okay! You all get ready to get off the helicopter! And not a single complaint more. Don't ask a damn about this place, got it? Don't speak to anyone unless spoken to. And even then, don't speak! Cut your tongue off if you have to. It's all for the good of the country." she said, in a voice that skipped all the punctuation signs. "For the US..." Duke had heard that only in movies. Well, now his life was soon to become a movie. ====== Getting off the chopper, Duke, five others, and the captain stepped on the landing pad, to the familiar feeling of solid concrete underneath. That was a relief particularly for Duke. Six hours of chopper will do wonders for some people's insides. -Ah...- Duke sighed, trying to stand straight. He realized that three people were now looking at him... one of them being the captain. As for what they saw... Usually, people in the military service have short hair or a shaved head. Duke had the first, though his black hair would have been unnoticed anyway; not because his skin was black, but because he never learned how to use hair to his advantage. The captain had very short hair, and that was a pity, because she would've been a real looker otherwise. Jebediah was shaved, and Ray had short hair. The last three had all shaved heads. As is cliche for a group of soldiers, everyone was white, except for one. But he didn't look like Samuel L. Jackson either. Someone came out of the stairs. There were stairs next to the landing pad. Those kinds of stairs that open to rooftops, with the door and everything. Two people flanked him. And unlike the ones from the chopper, these two were armed... to say the least. Their weaponry looked advanced, and deadly. Which is to be expected when half of the world's weaponry budget is only one nation's. Though, frankly, most people couldn't tell an advanced weapon if it shot off their innards with small black holes. Actually, those weapons just looked shiny and big. And fully automatic. And were backed up by tactical armor. This individual could be thought of as important... if not for the fact that he had just walked out into the open, unlike really important people. So the impression was that he was just paranoid. The beret he wore didn't seem to carry much meaning. His black glasses, neither. The badges on his chest, though, Duke counted them. One, two, three... err... more than three. Didn't matter how many more, or which ones... He answered to this guy now. As the man with two guards approached the captain, after they shook hands, and compared credentials, Duke did his best to stand still and firm. He hadn't joined the army to serve the country. He wanted to be put a weapon in his hands, not just stand there and look nice. If only he could pull his gameboy from his pocket now... those two seemed to take forever... what the hell were they discussing? Finally, the man stepped forwards to greet them. Duke looked at the guy's tanned skin. He wondered if the skin under his beret was tanned too, or if the man had a large white spot on the top of his head. The thought almost made him crack a smile. "Greetings, men. I bid you all welcome to The Spearman, this little base of ours. Location: the middle of the ocean. Time: Day. Mission: Capture anyone who gets too close. Those are the only three things you need to remember to do a perfect job here. I'm assuming even you can do it." Oh, burn. And everything seemed to be going so well... until the Man remembered that he was to berate people. "I have no idea why is it you've not been stationed in Iraq. Just be sure it wasn't because you were too good to die. I just wish it were that you were too stupid to fight in a real war, but I think you all seem to have a twinkle of sentience in your eyes... try to keep it where I don't have to see it." "...I'll give this twinkle to you at the first chance I get, whatever your name is..." Duke thought to himself. "ANY QUESTIONS?" he finished. Duke raised his hand. "The schoolboy who raised his hand. What is it? What's your name?" "My name is Duke, sir! I wanted to know how are we to refer to you, sir!" "Sir" grimaced. "Oh, I see. Well, that depends. When you are talking to me, I am ?sir?. When you are talking with each other, I am ?God?. Any other stupid questions, Duke?" "No, God!" Duke said, unthinkingly. And then he realized what he had just said. "Sir! No, God, Sir! Argh...!" "Shut that hole before I shut it and make you a new one." God said. "So we have a clown here, huh? Well, you'll be known from now on as Bozo. BOZO?" "Sir!" Duke asked. Regretfully, he had to admit to himself that whatever God was doing, it was working. "What happened to God?" the guy with a dozen badges asked. "Sir! It was a mistake, sir!" Duke exclaimed. This was getting boring. And a bit annoying. Not to mention degrading. Well, at least he couldn't get degraded any lower than he was already. "Are you calling God a mistake?" "Sir! It was my mistake to confuse the names, sir! It won't happen again! I am very sorry, sir!" Duke tried. Though he had to admit to himself that if it were by him, that would happen really often. But God was satisfied. "Okay, you did choose them exactly as stupid as I want them." he smiled at the captain. "Captain Tanner, this is the exact kind of stupid I want. Webcomic worthy stupid." God asked. Duke was only slightly offended. He had never been the brightest bulb in the box, but people usually at least had the decency to tell him on his face. "Very well. Chitchat's over. I want your names. Except for Bozo's. And then, my assistants here will point you to your guard posts." God said. Then he pointed at the man on the left. And then to the right... "Sir! I'm Oscar, sir!" "Sir! I'm Robert, sir!" "I already know Bozo..." "Sir! I'm Jebediah, sir!" "Sir! I'm Wally, sir!" "... (gestures to throat) ..." "Congratulations on finding that one, Captain." the man smiled. "Exactly the person I needed for the job. Mutie! You get a promotion, right here, right now..." ====== As soon as they were all placed in their spot, Duke looked around. This place would be his home for a month, he better got a good look at it... Right now he was ten metres above the average sea level, looking out at the sea, with nothing but a transponder on his hand, a gun in his waist, and a small stool behind him. A really small stool. The kind of stool that makes you wonder if they meant it to be used for comfort, or if they were betting whether it would go up your arsecrack or not as soon as the two of them made contact. Duke felt distrustful. Towards a stool. -Standing up it is, then...- he said, with more personality this time. He started doing his job; looking through the windows in the round corner of the hallway, checking if anything was there on the horizon. He faithfully performed this duty for his country... ...for approximately twenty minutes. Then he pulled out the gameboy from the pen pocket near his heart, and turned it on. He skipped through the intro for the Legend of Zelda. He swore this time he was going to get through the damn game. Through the damn entire game! It had been tough, but he had finally acquired every possible powerup. Now he was sure he'd get a secret ending, or, at least, get through the endgame. He loaded his savegame. And then... ...someone swiped it off his hands, opened one of the windows, and threw his gameboy away. -Hey!- Duke protested, before he saw that it was his captain. She then kept strolling down the hallway without saying another word. Duke watched her go with a little anger brewing within him. If she knew of the trials he had to overcome to get where he was in that game... Duke thought. If only she knew... ...she'd probably have berated him too, and broke the gameboy on his skull before throwing it away. But anyway, what was the worst that could happen now? Duke later than sooner found out. After the first three hours standing up, even that little stool looked like a viable seat. He wondered if he couldn't improvise a larger surface to sit on with his gun... then he remembered what his grandpa used to say about sitting on a pistol. So he wondered if perhaps the architecture was as shoddy as it looked, then he could perhaps steal a few tiles from here and there, use them to improvise something that he really could sit on. Hell, even sitting on a half-open window was starting to look like a good idea. Despite the sea on the other half. -They better not be using us in some shoddy experiment about human behavior when we really want to lean our arses on something...- Duke said, out loud.- Argh! Sooner than later, he figured this out: there was nowhere to sit on. And yes. He was going to have to look outside for a long time... a loong time... -At least, it's only thirty days.- Duke said.- There are worse ways to make a living... Half an hour later, Duke decided nothing would zip past the horizon and disappear if he went for a diet coke. On his way there, he remembered seeing a vending machine somewhere... Retracing his steps for two corridors, he finally found the vending machine. It was in a T-intersection. And god, he was thirsty... mindlessly, he walked towards the vending machine, thinking that perhaps he didn't have enough change... ...though soon he'd have all the changes he could handle and more. ====== As he approached the vending machine, he discovered someone else had approached it too. And they were about the same height. And both were, for some reason, leaning forward at the same time. Some people would've called it fate. Well, most people would've called it fate. But two people knew better and called it a contusion. Namely, those were Duke and the blonde he bumped into. -Ow! -Argh! Watch your step, you dumb piece of...! Duke stepped back, alarmed slightly as he vociferated profanities. Then he looked at the person he had bumped into. She had the most beautiful brown eyes. Work seemed to have taxed them, judging from the small dark spots under them and the red lines in her globes. Her pink, unassuming lips were curved in an expression of pain, and her forehead showed a beautiful frown, the kind that comes just before you shout a littany of blasphemies at a mere passersby. Her curves were all smooth and modest, but beautiful; the curve in her hips, the curve in her chest, the curves in her shoulders, the curve in the beating vein on her temple, and the curve of the vein that fed her sternocleidomasti... sternicledo... the yugular vein, I think. Her unpainted nails and practical hairstyle told one or two things about her and her country... namely, that the US army doesn't buy nail polish for its secret bases, and that she hadn't brought any herself. You didn't hear this from me. She also had a very sexy bruise on her forehead, in which Duke could see the shape of his own head. -Sorry, my bad.- Duke said, a bit more calmed because of the music that was now playing for him and him alone. -Yes, your bad.- she said.- Watch your step next time, darn it!- she screeched. He wasn't paying attention to her voice, though. -I might.- he said, approaching the vending machine and dropping coins into the slot. -I hope I do. She sighed. -Sorry about snapping at you like that... -I didn't mind... -No, really, sorry.- she said.- My name's Brenda. -I'm Duke. Pleased to meet you, Brenda. -Pleased to meet you, Duke.- Brenda said.- Say, I haven't seen you here... -No, I'm new. I just started work today... it's a frustrating, boring job, and I've been here for only one day.- Duke said.- Couldn't they just put... buoys with cameras a mile away? -You tell me. Yes, I hate this place too.- she admitted.- Can't get a good meal, can't get anything to read, can't get any news, can't get any...- she started.- ...anyone to talk to, I mean. -Oh, yes, I know what you mean.- Duke said, as he checked the selection.- Wait a moment. They only have diet coke in there!- he exclaimed, frowning. -That's right. -That's impossible...- Duke said, turning around, rather violently.- You were going towards the vending machine... why would you, if...? -Hold it, I never said that.- Brenda answered. -Well, then, what were you...? -Okay, I was. It's either that, or lukewarm water.- she answered.- It's actually the first time I... Duke pushed a button. A freezingly cool diet coke dropped into the slot. -So, got any lukewarm water, then?- he asked, offering Brenda the cold diet coke. ====== After those fifteen minutes of life, Duke returned to his position. Though he didn't like to admit it, Brenda might yet make the trip worthwhile. That is, if he didn't know there were five others like him around the base. But Brenda didn't seem like the sort of person who would have six people compete for her attention... which wasn't a good thing either, because it would mean she'd probably turn the six of them down. He secretly hoped she didn't meet any of the others. But well. He just stood there for eight more hours... bored to hell, but staying observant, to a reasonable degree for someone who's signed up for one thing and wound up doing another. He scratched his head, thinking why hadn't they just put security cameras and a room with them. -Guess they have to save up somewhere to buy all these jet fighters they're never going to use...- Duke told himself. Until sundown. When he thought that someone should've come to replace him already. They wouldn't have twenty-four hour shifts; not even in times of war was that a possibility... was it? Or perhaps they really knew how futile their job was? But well, in the dark, and left wondering what the hell was up with the shoddy administration, Duke had no better idea than to check his transponder. He was surprised when he saw that it had only one button. "Push if you see something on the horizon." At that point, Duke felt underestimated. Then he felt it was funny. Then he felt it was sad. Then he felt it was intriguing. Then he felt it was just... too much. He needed to talk to a superior. But at the same time, he knew what the answer would be. They weren't expecting them to be smarter than monkeys. -They picked us because we are stupid?- he wondered out loud.- I thought he was just... those rotten...!- He scratched his scalp for a while.- Okay, let's stay calm, it's all for the good of... whatever country's waters we are in. We are still in the US, right? As he said that out loud, he got his answer from that very question. And then he yawned. Two hours later... he yawned again. And then he yawned irregularly and more frequently. Finally, he started sitting down... on that stool... he didn't feel his arse anymore. All he knew were the lines in the horizon. And the lack of light was making it hellishly hard to see anything. His eyes closed... closed again... ...and the next thing he knew, there was light coming in from the windows. He had been sleeping the whole night. But what was worse was that, as he stretched out, he fell from the stool. He then realized something... ...yes, he was as stupid as they would've chosen. Something was obviously wrong, and he had just stood there all night like an imbecile, believing that they'd have made such a lax and useless schedule. It was the damn army of the US, and he had just thought they were as stupid as he was? ...but it still didn't convince him. -Something's obviously wrong here...- he told himself, trying to drive the point to himself. It made perfect sense, now he only needed believe it despite it was his idea. -Something is obviously wrong here, and I'm not going to stand here like an... like another idiot and let it... do whatever it was going to do.- he finally said. But even then, he didn't believe it. -Oh, what the hell!- he finally exclaimed, turning around, and speeding through the corridors, looking for someone to ask for clarifications on some concepts... ====== Not too long afterwards, he found a small door. He knocked on it. Someone opened the door a bit. A young man, thin, black eyes and hair, rather short, sunken eyes, long nose. Not a particularly impressive or emphasizable specimen. -Yes, who is it?- he asked. -I'm recruit Duke.- Duke answered.- I'm a bit concerned about our current orders... -You are a bit concerned?- the man asked, with a half-grin.- Come in. He opened the door the rest of the way, and stepped back. Duke saw a room full of monitors. -What is this?- Duke asked, looking at all the cameras. -We just got back our system. -What system? -The surveillance system...- the man answered. Duke looked at the monitors. Several of them seemed to show the sea outside. -Does this have 360 degrees coverage?- Duke asked. -Yes, 360 degrees, with cameras every ten degrees.- the man answered.- Also several on the inside. Duke grimaced. -Then why was I posted on a corner, charged with looking out of the windows to check for... whose country's ships would bother us here? -Any of them, this is a secret base.- the man answered.- We just got our system back about... eight hours ago, that's it. Programming bugs. You know, Windows XP is a bitch.- he smiled. Duke didn't want to pin the blame on Windows XP. -So I could've went to get some rest eight hours ago, if only someone had had the decency to tell me my job had been rendered redundant? -That's not my fault.- the man answered, humanely, despite he was obviously something higher than a recruit.- I'm not a messenger. -Well, we seriously need a messenger or errand boy here, then!- Duke exclaimed. Poor him... The man looked at him. -You're right. We need a messenger, badly... our lieutenant is an idiot. -Really? I thought we were the newest shipment of them.- Duke grunted. -Nevermind, recruit.- the man said.- Well, do you believe in leading by example? -Leading by example? What do you mean?- Duke asked. -I need (and so do you) to notify the lieutenant that now that we have our surveillance back, it would be... appropriate if he decided to recall the guards placed on the watch posts. You know, like you... this is all getting a bit useless... Duke hadn't had dinner, or breakfast. So he felt like going up to Sir and telling him to start treating people with respect... -I will, sir.- he told the man. -Private Leslie. There's no need to call me Sir.- the man said.- Oh, by the way, you might need this. It's a small map... ====== It didn't take long for Duke to figure out the general layout of the building, and find his way to the lieutenant's office. He only got lost twice. On the way to the office, though, he found the rest of his... squad, so to speak. They were in the kitchen, all having breakfast, together with Lieutenant God. -What are you all doing here?- Duke asked, angry... and hungry. -Duke! Where have you been?- Jebediah asked.- We were all a bit worried about you. You never showed up for dinner... -No one told me we were having dinner! -We didn't think we'd have to.- God said. -I sat there all night long, with a stool that was only barely large enough not to get up my arse, watching the perimeter of this godless base for the sake of the country for god knows how long, and you didn't think you'd have to tell me we were having dinner? -Of course, Bozo.- God said.- Do people stay awake all night long watching the horizon in moonless and cloudy nights without having dinner where you live? This was a bit more than he could stand. -I had just met with Private Leslie, sir.- he started.- He recommended you recalled the guards placed on the watch posts, but I see you've already done so. -No, there was no need. They recalled themselves.- God said. -Come on, take a seat!- Ray told Duke.- You look hungry. -I would, but Leslie needs to know I... -He's already seeing it, we have a camera there.- another soldier said, pointing at a camera on the corner.- Leslie's the man in the camera room, right? -Right, recruit.- God said. He obviously found the whole situation fun. -I see, sir.- Bozo/Duke said. Then he took a seat. -So, corn flakes or jerky?- Jebediah asked him. -Give me the densest jerky you have. I'm going to sleep after this.- Bozo/Duke said, scratching his head. Jebediah stood up, and checked the pantry. -Hmm, we don't have any more jerky, I'm afraid. We ate it all. -I'm not going to eat corn flakes before going to sleep, I need dinner...- Duke said.- What else do we have? -Well, we have ham-flavored cheetos, and... -Corn flakes it is then.- Duke grunted. -You seem cranky, recruit.- God said, with a smug smile.- Why is that? Bozo met his superior's eyes. And then he got ready to do the sir thing. -Sir, I seem cranky because... I am having trouble adjusting to the organization here. It seems... haphazard, sir. -I prefer to call it humane, recruit.- God pointed.- But we're holding an immediate meeting so that you all will adjust as well as possible. Bozo ate his corn flakes with no sugar (because it was stale), and got ready for the rest of a long day. It was obvious that he wouldn't be sleeping at all... ====== -Oh, screw God, and his disciples, and their mothers...- Duke grunted, as he approached the T-intersection where he had met with Brenda before. He got his hopes up a bit more than he should have, though... he waited with characteristic patience, and Brenda never showed up. Well, it wasn't like it was a date or anything. But nevertheless, he decided to try something... he looked for the direction from which Brenda had came. And then he went in that direction. If he was lucky, he'd be able to meet Brenda... sometime soon... Feeling a bit silly in his camo clothes which he hadn't had any time or spares to change, walking indoors in an Operation Desert Storm costume, just without the cool weapons, he quickly found where Brenda worked. Right behind the red door reading "BIOHAZARD" with its characteristic icon, a cardkey reader, five metres of yellow and black stripes, which were divided between five feet of CAUTION signs, five feet of DANGER signs, five feet of WE REALLY MEAN IT signs, and a last five feet that he couldn't finish read because twenty feet mean six metres, and the last five feet finished behind the door. He looked at the cardkey reader. And then he pulled out his credit card. No rule seemed to be meant with any discipline or indeed intent to be followed there, and he could just follow suit. So he slid his credit card down the slot reader. Immediately, the screen flashed. "HOW MUCH OF A BRIBE DO YOU OFFER?" He pushed the 1, and then the 5. "FIFTEEN, EH? THANKS, BUDDY!" He blinked. But the door didn't budge an inch. Bribing a cardkey reader was probably the most unique thing that would ever happen to him, if you don't count the part where the reader didn't do anything afterwards. -Well?- Duke asked the AI.- Open the door? The door didn't open. Duke grabbed the doorknob... ...to discover it had been open all the time. -This place is so dumb, it's scary...- Duke grimaced. Now he wasn't sure he wanted to know what lay behind the door. Some brain-eating bacteria, perhaps? And they needed stupid people as test subjects? Of course, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and Duke could've noticed that the only idiot in the installations was him. But he was too scared, annoyed, worn out, and otherwise stupefied to even imagine that. ====== Through the door, he found... a room with a desk. And he found Brenda on the desk. That room had a glass wall that showed a much larger room, one with actual laboratory equipment. On one side of the small room, there was an airlock, marked BIOHAZARD, too. On the other side, there were two doors, marked with the shape of a guy, and the shape of a guy with a skirt. There was a computer on the desk. But he didn't care about that. -Brenda?- he asked. Brenda turned around, and looked at him. -Ah, hello. How did you get in? -It was open.- Duke answered, pointing at the door.- Didn't keep the card reader from cheating me out of fifteen, though... -Yes, it does that sometimes. No one knows why, but it's just not the moment to replace it.- she answered.- We're in a crucial experiment right now, and... -Crucial experiment?- Duke asked.- Do tell me all about it, then... -It's not much, actually.- Brenda answered.- We're just testing a synthetic virus' ability to infect different kind of cells. -Aren't virii... defined by attacking only one specific kind of cell?- Duke asked.- Literally, only one kind of tissue, from only one species? Brenda nodded. -That's right, but there's no real reason why it would be so, other than because Mother Nature kept it at that. -Isn't that a good enough reason for us to leave it at that, too? -I don't really feel like discussing the ethics or morals behind the modification of virii, not right now.- Brenda answered.- If you don't like it, get behind the damn biohazard door. -What for? It's open anyway! -Close it when you go through... -No, nevermind. Sorry about the criticism.- Duke said.- Just trying to make small talk, you know. She looked at him, and smiled. -Sorry about that. This place is a bit maddening. -You tell me. I've only been a dozen hours here and... -Twelve hours.- Brenda interrupted. -What? -You said "a dozen hours". It's the first time I've ever heard that.- she said, with a strange gaze.- So where are you from? -Alabama.- Duke said.- Didn't get out much, yeah, but I did learn to pay attention in school. -Really?- Brenda asked. The two of them were smiling already.- And... how did you end up in the army? -Very quickly, actually. I went to military school.- he answered.- And you? -No, I went to public school, I'm from Florida. The level isn't high, but once in a while, you will find a teacher who really likes to teach science. -What do you mean by that? -What you heard, what were you thinking?- Brenda asked, raising her eyebrows for a moment.- You know, public school doesn't have a high level, but each of us can decide our own levels. -Really? How?- Duke asked, pretending to be interested. -It's actually very easy. You just have to set your own standards. My grades at school weren't high, but I was smarter than anyone else in my class.- she smiled.- I was just studying something different. "Okay, she loves herself, I like that..." Duke thought to himself. Then he nodded. -And you? -No, not me.- he answered.- Anything more on that vein? -There was this guy, he was in a different class... I never really met him, but his father was always bragging in meetings that his kid already was on a level good enough to pass university exams in physics. You know what the secret was? His father was the guy who taught chemistry to both this kid AND the people at university; the kid had been prepped from the age of seven. So obviously he'd be able to pass college as a twelve-year old. He was studying something different, too. I know he didn't make it to university; he quit school at the age of seventeen to become a rocker. -My god, that's so ironic!- Duke laughed.- At least, was he good at it? -No, that part I dunno. And you? -No, I didn't quit school to become a rocker. -No, I meant... anything interesting to tell, Duke? -Nothing I can think of.- he smiled.- I'm pretty much one-dimensional: what you see is what I am. -Nothing at all? Nothing to tell me about your parents, relatives, job...? -Nothing, I mean... are you really sure you want to talk about my parents, relatives, and job? -Well, what else would we talk about? -Are you sure that what you want is to talk?- Duke asked, relaxing his eyes... for lack of a better way to describe his face. The kind of face that Di Caprio makes sometimes in ads, the face that starts looking a bit silly if you look at it for too long. Then again, silliness and seduction might be related. God knows I hope they are... knows I wish they were. We all know no one's turned on by clowns. Well, no one we'd want to be near. Then again, a guy in a clown costume could overcome the handicap if he really had the attitude. Anyway, this is a story about impossibilities. It's impossible an army contains anyone that incompetent or that insubordinate, it's impossible for a keycard reader to act like an ATM (a corrupt ATM, too), it's impossible for a guy called Duke to pick up a chick unless she's a furry who's into dogs, it's impossible that something like "are you sure that what you want is to talk?" works as an effective pickup line, it's impossible for me to post this and get away with it. But what the hell. She met his eyes, her smile disappeared. -Well, you're direct.- she said.- I can respect that. -Respect is not what I'm after. -Yes, I know...- Brenda nodded.- I'm thinking about it right now. -Thinking?- Duke asked, raising an eyebrow.- Why? -You have a point there. A monosyllable, but you have a point.- she nodded.- Did you bring condoms? -Why would I have brought condoms? I was here for guard duty!- Duke protested. -Well, you were here for one thing, you intended to do another... now it looks like we're doing neither because preservatives were excess weight or something.- she huffed.- Now let me get back to work already, okay?- she said, turning to the monitor. -Hey, don't be like that!- Duke said, leaning towards her ear. -Don't be what? Unwilling to make your babies?- she grunted, tilting her head away.- I was looking forward to it too! -Well, then why didn't you bring condoms yourself? -Do you REALLY want to get into that now?- she asked.- Be a jerk, okay! Be my guest! -Oh, come on.- Duke said, leaning away.- There must be something we can do. The speaker emitted a beep. -Not right now.- she said.- I've got work.- she took a pair of glasses, put them on, and then looked at the keyboard, leaning in. -You need glasses for reading? -You didn't want to talk, didn't you? Wait, this looks promising. -Promising? Did a virus finally agree to expand business?- Duke asked, with a mocking smile. -Yes.- she said, turning the monitor a bit towards Duke, and then pointing at two dots in a sea of cells each, two different kinds of cells in two different windows.- You see those two cells with different shapes? -That one looks very small... -Because it's almost out of focus. But they've both got this blue spot in them, you see?- she pointed at two small spots, one of which Duke frankly didn't identify as a spot... or identify at all.- That one is a fat cell. That other one out of focus is a bone marrow cell. -Hm.- Duke nodded.- So they've both got blue dots... what happens now? -Now, we have to see if those blue dots did manage to do anything to the nucleii. For that I'd have to check the DNA. Just allow me to check this program...- she turned the screen back to herself, and then slid the mouse to another icon on the desktop. She double-clicked... and waited. -Does it always take this long?- Duke asked. -Usually, yes.- she answered.- I've got to defrag this drive next chance I get. And erase all my Valentino and Legolas porn. Duke grinned. -What?- Brenda asked.- They are hot, you have to admit that! -No, it's not that. I think your computer just froze. -You don't say!?- she protested, looking at a light behind the window. There was a red light in a small CPU which was on, not flickering... she shook the optic mouse a bit. The cursor didn't move. -It froze!?- she protested. Then she held down Alt, Control, and used her right index as a scourge for the Del key, once and again, and again, and again... -Well, that's what you get for using Windows Vista.- Duke said, grinning. -What the hell do you know about what we're using?- Brenda frowned, visibly angry. -Your computer doesn't look like a Macintosh and those windows don't look like Linux.- Duke said, with the same smug eyes. Brenda looked at him. Hate was now visible in her eyes. -They didn't teach you how to be at least a bit sensitive? -Sorry, I didn't know Microsoft was such a touchy topic.- Duke said.- I usually get slapped for being more open about civil warranties or religious freedom than about Windows. -So you're sarcastic, now, too?- she asked.- I'll have to reset it manually... wait here. DON'T come after me. I'm okay.- she said, walking towards the airlock. -Isn't there anyone who can do that for you?- he asked, as she went there... and then, when he saw her on the other side of the glass...- Shouldn't you have put on a containment suit? -Hmm. No need to bother anyone. This happens all the time...- she pushed the button on the CPU to reset the computer. Meanwhile, allow me another impossibility... ====== At a different scale, in a million to one at least, YTR-3268 looked around, bored. YTR-2234, behind, recited something. -In this secret laboratory, scientists have managed to both create and isolate the vicious YTR virus. However, the experts maintain that once isolated, the virus will die... of boredom.- 2234 said. -Nothing ever happens around here.- 3268 said.- You know, for once, I'd like to do something else than infect marrow or fat cells. -Totally.- 2234 agreed.- You know what I'd really like? Some stem cells. I'd stir up some nasty shit with that. -Hey, stem cell experimentation is against the Creator's will.- 3268 said.- Just kidding. Gosh, I'm bored... The two of them watched the blonde approach the computer. Only ten centimetres away from them... -You know, 2234, I wonder just how many tissues the average LIVING self-sufficient specimen has.- 3268 said. -Look, the computer froze again. That's what she gets for using Windows Vista.- 2234 judged. -Yeah. But if she was using Macintosh, then what would we be doing here?- 3268 asked. -You're right. God bless Bill Gates and his evil empire.- 2234 nodded. The two of them once more looked at Brenda. She was covered with white, but some parts showed keratinous activity. And some others showed... a melanine-pigmented surface composed of irregularly-shaped cells. Then again, they once in a while got to see a blood vessel... sweet blood vessel... or a transparent, gelatinous substance. She even showed them some cleavage, but they couldn't appreciate it. -I'd do all her tissues...- 3268 said.- Me and my billion children. -It's so frustrating.- 2234 said.- You know, I'd love to make her a baby doll... with drool. But we're stuck here in the surface of this agar. And all we've got here is marrow and fat. Just for once, I'd like for something to happen. Something really big. I'd like to do something more. I know I could. -Well, unless she decides she wants to have some jelly with us in it, I doubt we're going anywhere. 2234 got on its sheath. -Almighty God, if you're there, give me a sign that you love me. It's an order! 3268 shook its cromosomes. -Okay, that's something new. -Boy, I was so close. And I could've gotten there. If only that chick had packed some condoms... -At-choo! At low speeds, a fluid maintains a laminar regime. But most of the time, a fluid (liquid or gas) is turbulent. And within a turbulent fluid, it's hard to say anything. Except that you don't want it. But 2234, 3268, and the other 50.000 copies of YTR wanted a turbulent fluid. Seven hundreds of them were carried away by an unlikely disturbance in the air. -Whoohoo! -Yee-haw! Ride the wind! -What the hell just happened? This is a clean room!- Brenda protested. -Not anymore, baby!- 2234 said.- We're free! Unfortunately, they were only a few centimetres closer to that sapiens sapiens. They landed on the table right next to the computer, where her hand approached... -Look at that!- 2234 said.- I did it! -I can't believe it, God really loves...!- 3268 exclaimed. Her finger stopped a centimeter short of them. -Loves you not.- 3268 said. Then she clicked her fingernail against them, leaving them stuck in the keratine. -Loves me do...- 2234 said. Nothing more. Just keratine. -Loves you not. She ran her hand closer to her mouth... -Loves me do... She lowered her hand -Loves you not. Then she walked out of the clean room, and approached Duke. She leaned forward... -Loves me do... ...kissed his forehead, and slid her other hand's nail on his lip, as he said something they didn't quite get. -What do we REALLY know about religion, anyway?- 3268 asked. -Come on, you big-ass slut! Suck on your finger for a while, will ya? Guys love that! You've had college education, you can do this! Even if you're a blonde! -I really don't think you should... -Oh come on, you idiot! Suck on your finger! While he leaves! Because you're really lusty and we all know it!- 2234 shouted, as he saw Duke leave. She brought her hand closer to her mouth. -That's it, that's it, come to daddy... She spread her fingers. -Yes, yes, yes! She... put her pinky between her lips. -No! NO! WRONG FINGER!- 2234 exclaimed.- VERY WRONG! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU TO HELL! -Look, 2234, stop before you... -I should probably wash my hands.- Brenda said. -NO! -With water and soap. -NOOOOO! -With water, soap, and a little alcohol. -NOOOOOOOOOO! -Twice. -NOOOO! NOOOO! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU TO HELL, BITCH! DAMN YOU, DAMN YOU ALL! NOOOO! -Well, 2234, it was nice knowing you... those last forty minutes. If reincarnation exists, then I'm sure we will both have our seats in the Senate. -No! I don't want to be in the senate!- 2234 complained.- I'd have to... work! -Don't give up, not just yet.- 3268 grunted.- There might be a way around this. -She's gonna wash her hands! We're going down the drain! We're going to end up in the sea! It's salt water with protozooans! You know I don't do protozooans! And it's too cold! And then I'll become a politician because of the life I've led! -Oh shut up.- 3268 shouted. By the time they ended that conversation, Brenda had already washed her hands. Twice. But her fingernails weren't washed. Common mistake. ====== Only seventy minutes later, 2234 and 3268 had already gotten into her system. -Oh boy, this is so cool!- 2234 expressed.- She didn't have to change her tampon today, but she did! And now look at this place! Only an hour and we're already in the womb! I like this system! What did you say they called it? -Reproductive system? -No, not that! I mean the system by which we got from an absorbent medium like a tampon to the inside using only liquids! It should've been the other way around! -It's active transport through ionic concentration. I had to infect only a few cells, get them to release too many ions we could stick to, and here we are! -Great! What did you say this species is called? -Homo sapiens sapiens. -Homo sapiens twice? Cool! Is it like the pig or labrat? -Well... they're all mammals. But it's not like the Sus or the Mus. -Yeah, homo has two syllables. -You know what, I don't care. I came here for one thing, and by God I'm doing it. Help me find some ova? -Yes. Hear this out: we find ova, we trade (or rather, we say we trade. Actually we take) some genetic material, mutate some, then we get in the bloodstream. With that structure under our power, we'll be able to target the entire damn body! Isn't that a perfect plan? -... you must be crazier than I thought. -Oh come on, we gotta die of something. Look, once we can, I'll take the bones. Any new cells you'd like to infect? -Oh, yes! Just one question, though. We gotta do something new, something special! I don't want to just turn her insides blue, no one would notice. -If her pussy turned blue, I think she'd notice. ====== About by that time, Brenda was back to work... checking, together with three colleagues, that the clean room had stayed clean. Nothing had really broke, and her sneeze had only affected exposed material. Some samples were thrown into the incinerator, but the rest just got thoroughly cleaned. And she got a paycut for that month... ...when she heard something rumbling at the height of her waist. ====== -OH my god. -Whoops, sorry. -OH MY GOD! -Hey, I said I was sorry! -You aren't sorry enough! Do you know what this is?- 3268 exclaimed, pointing at the blood that emanated from the vessel.- This means hurry. If she doesn't notice she's bleeding into her womb, this probably isn't be your fault. -Then let's hope... -If she doesn't notice she's DEAD because she just got shot while you burst that vessel, moron! Now let's go. Wherever we want to be isn't there... ====== It wasn't long until it was her lunch hour. She sat down in the kitchen, and helped herself to a BLT sandwich. -Where'd you get that?- Duke asked, as he entered. She looked at Duke. Now he interrupted her lunch, too? -Don't you have work to do?- she asked, taking a bite.- 'm tryng tuh heff loonch. -I was going to have lunch, too.- Duke said.- I didn't know there was bread, or lettuce, or tomato. He checked the cupboards. -Hey, they refilled. I'll make some fried rice. Do you want any? -No.- she said.- I don't like fried stuff. Or rice. -Oh.- Duke said.- How about... -"I'll make lunch" is not a pickup line.- Brenda interrupted. -I'm not trying to pick you up. I just wanted to apologize. I was a bit moody, I... thought I saw something, a chance, I overreacted. I'm sorry! -Not the time. I'm eating.- she said. -As you say.- Duke sighed. Then he turned on the stove, put there a pan, added oil, heated it slowly to make sure it didn't jump off. She was halfway across her sandwich when she looked at him. -So you want to talk?- she asked. -We were recommended not to. -None here actually pays any attention to it. We were supposed not to get distracted, but frankly, you help me concentrate. -Really?- Duke asked, looking back. -Yes. You make the alternative clear. Duke scratched his head. -Less than a day have I met you, and already you're saying stuff like that. I must've really grown on you. -Like a mushroom.- she smiled.- I don't hate you, don't take this the wrong way. -You don't hate your friends, I know.- Duke said. -Who says we're friends?- she asked. -It's what you were about to say, right? Let's just be friends?- Duke asked. -I wasn't going to say that.- she said, tilting her head.- I was just going to ask you to do something. If you're not going to do this for me, do it for yourself. -I'm intrigued.- Duke said. Brenda smiled. -Don't you ever get near the lab again. Got it? Leave me to work. -Okay, sorry I bothered you. It won't happen again.- Duke said, sighing.- I'm really looking forward to sleeping tonight. -Did you pick someone up in this little time? -No, it's not that.- he said.- It's just I'm really, really tired. I can't wait for you to see me rested. I'm a completely different person. -Completely.- she said.- I though you were rested right now. -No, I'm not.- Duke said.- I'm just making an horrible effort to try and be polite. And to avoid crumbling to the ground like a sack of potatoes. -Sir, that's very military, sir.- she smiled. -Thank you.- he answered. ====== That night, while she slept, the virii silently attacked her intestine (and ran), the marrow (and ran), and several other organs (from which they escaped). But even then, all they did was turning them blue. Also that night, our dynamic duo left through her lungs... and filtered themselves in the vents. On the other hand, Duke had a perfectly wholesome and restful night's sleep. Now the unmitigated, desired chaos finally starts... ====== "God" was poring through his files, checking the information on those new recruits. He smiled as he checked Duke... a perfectly average, perfectly expendable person. So was Jebediah. And that guy who hadn't said a word... could have said a word. Well, he fooled him pretty nicely. There'd be plenty of time for revenge. Oscar and Robert... he couldn't finish with them. He heard something on the vent. Something on the vent heard him, too. Though at the time it was an unintelligent arthropod. ====== -Look!- 2234 said.- Look at this! -Look at what?- 3268 asked.- That spider? -Yeah! Let's infect it. The YTR virus got into the spider... easily, since it was an arthropod and breathed with its entire body. -Sweet.- 3268 said.- Hey, we never really got any chance to infect that chick... -I left some guys there, though. They'll make her insides blue in no time. -Unless they end up dynamiting her, like SOMEONE did. -If you think your replications are better than mine, then you could replicate a bit more! -No, it's not that. I was just thinking... paradox of fate! We just got all her ova desoxirribo... derribo... oxiribo... ribbon... all her info and we can't do a damn thing with it. -Can't? Or shouldn't?- 2234 said. -No, frankly, neither. But I don't know what could we do. -Well, isn't it obvious? Let's mutate this spider a bit. Rock the boat. Shake the bird. -Mutate the spider, yes. Let us start. Unaware of the changes about to be undergone, the spider went about its business, enveloping a small fly with webbing. When suddenly it stopped. -Hey, but where would the extra material come from?- 2234 thought. -From outside, duh.- 3268 replied. And then the spider dropped from its web, very still. The fly took the chance to escape the web... and succeeded, actually. Not too ceremoniously, the spider started swelling. And swelling. And turning from black to brown. Before it knew it (before it knew anything), it was so darn big it filled the section of the vent... but then it stopped again. -Hey, but air doesn't spontaneously turn into flesh. There must be energy involved for nitrogen to turn to aminoacids from its highly stable diatomic state. -That's what the oxygen is here for. Oxygen and carbon reaction. The spider's hairy cephalotorax grew hairier. And hairier. It reshaped. A nose appeared. The eyes flowed from the top, to the front, to the bottom... and then they stopped. -But the oxygen and carbon reaction is exothermal, and requires a constant intake of carbon... -There's enough carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. The thorax of the spider lengthened. The many legs flowed to the back of its body... and then curled, ignoring their own exoskeleton. Two protoplasmic prolongations emerged from the sides. But before they took shape, they stopped. -However, carbon dioxide is a very stable mollecule, and requires an intake of energy for carbon to be reutilizable... -We get that energy from burning carbon. The protoplasm darkened, until it was as black and brown as the rest of the spider. Then it took shape, fagocitating its outer layer, replacing it by a fully brown surface. The tips of the prolongations split into many, the exoskeleton showing from the tip of each. The shape of the arms was now defined. The abdomen stirred into action... but stopped. -But according to the first law of thermodynamics the maximum effectivity of an energy transf... -Shut up and finish this, will you? -Okay, geez. Just trying to make small talk. __________________ What do I know. If you touch one you die.

12-23-2008	#2
Anurubius engage your mandibles! Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: on my gts wife's shoulder Posts: 223	Re: I'm trying, please be patient... damn, thats long... I'll have to read it later... __________________ Blurring Lines: the struggle between light and dark just got more complicated

12-24-2008	#3
Mecha-naruto Process Fan Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 35	Re: I'm trying, please be patient... 2234 and 3268 best virus ever!!!

12-24-2008	#4
asusus2004 Lurker Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 25	Re: I'm trying, please be patient... This is a brilliant story so far, keep up the good work.

12-24-2008	#5
BlazingBarrager Oops...she did it again. Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: That little place in your head you don't know about. Posts: 1,355	Re: I'm trying, please be patient... Agreed. I'm going to enjoy this a lot. Last edited by BlazingBarrager; 12-24-2008 at 04:47 AM.

01-28-2009	#10
BlazingBarrager Oops...she did it again. Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: That little place in your head you don't know about. Posts: 1,355	Re: I'm trying, please be patient... Oi...this is starting to sound like Resident Evil. I'm even shaking right with some of the stuff so far. ...awesome!

02-01-2009	#11
Stabs Frequent Poster Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 145	Re: I'm trying, please be patient... Thank you so much, Blazing Barrager. I was wondering if I was doing it right. Perhaps it was too violent at first, but I will try to keep the violence down from now on. __________________ What do I know. If you touch one you die.