Eldritch (Pseudo-Interactive Story)

[Esquire]

The premise of this game is that you're, um, playing a game. Specifically, an early 80s text adventure thing. If you want more backstory, Quentin Software made this one game before the market crashed, leaving the developer a pile of twisted, molten unsalable assets and the tattered remains of broken dreams. It's been floating around the abandonware scene for years, until you got your hands on it.

1. No metagaming. The only reason you're "playing" this is because your internet is down and you forgot you even downloaded this. No FAQs or cheats. The game, however, will offer hints if you're getting stuck.
2. You cannot have him do the impossible. The protagonist is assumed to be an ordinary guy unless otherwise stated. You can't have him whip out super powers or something.
3. Keep it brief. You're not picking up the story, just saying what the protagonist does next.
4. I reserve the right to ignore posts, and I'm generally going to go with the funniest "command" or commands.

Play by post, kinda like RubyQuest. Rules and general format from the Catgirl story series of Lord T Hawkeye.

++++++++++
ELDRITCH:
Fleshpuzzle Red
(c) 1984 Quentin Software.
++++++++++
Welcome to ELDRITCH: Fleshpuzzle Red, by Quentin Software. This game is what's called a "text adventure", meaning that you input text commands into the computer to proceed. Common commands include LOOK (L), EXAMINE (X) USE (U), TAKE or GET (G or T), TRANSFORM (F), INVENTORY (I), FLAY (Y), and several more! If, at any time, you need to see this list again, enter COMMANDS.
++++++++++
You are in a bathroom stall at Jones and Jones Assoc. Your pants are around your ankles. You are sitting on the toilet. You have just taken a WICKED DUMP.

>

[Craper]

>Quickly retrieve arm's from toilet.

[Esquire]

I'm sorry, I don't recognize that command. Try using standard commands like "GET item" or "G item".

[cpt soban]

Part of me says this isnt the section where this goes, but I cant think of where it WOULD go.

So all that leaves to me is

X room,

inventory,

x every item in the room.

[Esquire]

>X room
You are in a bathroom stall. There is a hook on the back of the door, with your jacket, and an ELDRITCH HORROR in the toilet bowl beneath you.

>INVENTORY
You are wearing PANTS, a DRESS SHIRT, a TIE, SHOES, and SOCKS. Your wallet has $42.53, your DRIVER'S LICENSE, your LIBRARY CARD, and your SAM'S CLUB CARD.

>X all
The HOOK appears to be made of metal.
The TOILET BOWL seems to be made of porcelain.
The ELDRITCH HORROR seems to be a mass of dark, scorched flesh, eyes and orifices placed here and there, as if at some artist's mad will.

You wonder what you had for lunch.

As you lean over the bowl, the ELDRITCH HORROR grows tentacles that whip forward toward your face, gagging you before you can scream. More tentacles grab hold of your arms and legs, preventing you from banging on the wals for help.

As it draws you in, you try to think of a way out of this.

[cpt soban]

Hit ELDRITCH HORROR with shoe,

or, kill ELDRITCH HORROR with shoe.

[Esquire]

>Hit ELDRITCH HORROR with shoe
That's not very effective...

Suddenly, the ELDRITCH HORROR sends tentacles down your throat, into your ears, and into every available orifice. Your last thoughts are of Paris.

You are now an ELDRITCH HORROR, wearing BOB's skin like an old coat. You have limited access to BOB's memories. The last time you were on earth you dealt with a TINY GERMAN with a RIDICULOUS MOUSTACHE.

Your objectives:
1. PROPAGATE SWARM
2. Open the portal to bring the DARK MOTHER to this mudball, and thereby hasten the end of all life on earth.

You are in a bathroom stall. Someone enters the next stall over and sits down.

It may be a good idea to spread as quickly as possible. Given the sounds coming from the next stall, the occupant is likely unaware or uncaring of your status as a flesh-consuming abomination.

[Mitchell]

x hook.

[cpt soban]

F into hot woman,

lure moron out of stall,

kill moron horribly,

use moron to propagate swarm

edit: Also, add to goals, hunt down athletic asian schoolgirls.

[Esquire]

>x hook
You did that already.

>F into hot woman
That wouldn't be a good idea. This is a men's room. We can save that for later.

>lure moron out of stall
You access the BobFlesh memories. It is remarkably difficult to lure Flesh out of their defecation booths. Perhaps there is a more direct approach.

>kill moron horribly,
>use moron to propagate swarm
Changing form, you enter the defecation booth and quickly silence Bill, preferring to enter his flesh through the most direct routes available. To gain better leverage, you temporarily leave the BobFlesh skin and hoist this new flesh's skin onto the the air. Anus, mouth, and phallus are the most direct, and the new flesh's skin tumescences horribly as you invade. Its mind holds for but seconds before being cast into oblivion.

You got BillFlesh!
You can now control two bodies at once!

>add to goals, hunt down athletic asian schoolgirls.
New secondary goal added; hunt down athletic asian schoolgirls.

>save
Save file 001.pha created.

>

[Nihtgenga]

>exit men's bathroom

>F into hot woman

>enter ladies bathroom

[Esquire]

>exit men's bathroom
You exit the men's bathroom.

>F into hot woman
You consume the skincovering of the BobFlesh TRANSFORM into a hot woman. Anna, walking past, does a double take as she catches your change out of the corner of your eye. No one else notices.

>enter ladies bathroom
You enter the ladies bathroom in your new, hotter form. Anna follows you.

Anna may represent a threat to the mission. You can FLAY her, INFEST her, KILL her, MIND CONTROL her, TALK to her, or IGNORE her, in order of chance of discovery.

The bathroom is empty.

Anna enters.