How to pick up Men AND Women!!!

[Dex164]

So, I just got done listening to a group of pick up artists talk about their secrets for 3 hours while I drank myself under the table. As a male whore who has had too many partners of both genders, I thought I'd share my tips on how to pick up individuals in a singles environment.

If Female trying to pick up a Male:
Step 1: Say hi and smile, he'll take it from there if he's interested

If Female trying to pick up a Female:
Step 1: Find out if they swing that way or are willing to experiment
Step 2: Say hi and smile, she will take it from there

If Male trying to pick up a Female:
Step 1: Your mother raised you better, and if she didn't, you know there's a proper way to act. So start doing so.
Step 2: Say hi and smile. If she's interested, you will continue to a conversation and/or sex depending on the woman. If she's not, she will either politely or bluntly shoot you down.
Step 3: Eye contact. Most women like this a lot.
Step 4: Laughter/Humor. Will either get you laid/make a new friend.
Step 5. If sex is to happen, she comes first. I don't care if you do oral, fingers, full body massage, naughty whispers in the ear, remove clothes with teeth, w/e. She has to have an orgasm first, preferably multiple.

If Male trying to pick up a Male:
Step 1: Buy lube
Step 2: Drive to Seattle, Washington.
Step 3: Walk around Seattle, Washington at night
Step 4: Blackout
Step 5: Wake up with a phone number on your ass from "Chuck"

Goodnight everybody, I hope you got a laugh.

[Daichi Azure]

That way you won't have to face the squirrely wrath of Foamy!