Need a change? Come get it!

zeller86 · 01-01-2010

this is my first story i ever did so don't be vicious

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// BTW there will be more i am already working on it

I stood in the hall of my school, standing at 6 foot tall I over look most of students of the high school. Every morning before the bell I wait for my friend Jenny to arrive. When she gets here we start to walk to the cafeteria where she and I, and many other students sit to wait for the first bell.
I look toward the door as I pace back and forth. I look up with excitement as if I were a dog who saw a cat walk across the street. There she was. Her being only 5 foot tall she was kind of tough to see in the crowd. She had a very beautiful face. She was thin though her thighs push out half a foot more than the other girls, her breasts only the size of a 6th graders, which she hated. Here she comes, I think. She smiles at me while I had been smiling since she walked inside. “Good morning.” She said to me, her beautiful voice like magic to my sensitive ears.”Hello” I say in a friendly tone, covering the tire in my voice.
I bend down and pick up my small gray book bag, and sling it over my back. She always has 3 bags, one for books, one for her lunch, and one for anything else she carried around. I don’t offer to carry her bags, every time I do she says no. We make our descend to the cafeteria. She begins to speak, “Do you think I look like a child?” I have to be careful with what I say; she is very sensitive about her size.”No, why do you ask?” so begins one of her stories of her day so far, “Well when I was in that clothes store-“ “Sure-mart?” I interrupt”Yeah. I was looking at clothes and a little girl walked up to the same rack I was at and put clothes on it and yelled ‘MOM THEY WERE TOO SMALL!’” “So?” I ponder. “She looked like she was only 10 years old!” She yelled.
Everybody was looking at us. That outburst pulled the attention of every student in the hallway. “Oh” I say. As quick as it happened everybody was back to their gossiping. I look at jenny, her long flowing brown hair taunting me. We finally reached the cafeteria, where many students were sitting talking to each other. Each table was a polygon shape and had six chairs under them. Some chairs were far out of place by students with too many friends for six chairs at their table.
We reach the table we normally sit at. She starts taking her bags of her shoulders and put them on the table, while I sling my book bag onto the table with a great BANG! We each sit in a chair, both of us turning our chair to see each other, she had something else to say, I had a strong feeling in my gut.
“I was in town last week and I saw a store.” She began “yeah theres a lot of those.” I say playfully. She smiles and says, “No I mean I saw a store that had a poster saying ‘Need a change? Come get it’ so I went inside and on a shelf I saw a bottle that said ‘Wish Granted’ on it so I asked the clerk about it. He was really ugly so I didn’t want to see him much anymore so I asked quickly; he said ‘If you drink it something will happen that you always wanted.’ I asked him what he meant but he wouldn’t answer me.” “Yeah?” I said, I didn’t know what to say to this. What if she was joking? Then I may waste my time on it. But what if she wasn’t? She suddenly got very happy,” I was wondering if you would come to the store with me to get that bottle.” I was confused but out my mouth came “Sure.” I had no clue why I said that. DING!!!
The bell rang, it was time for class. “Great”, she said “thanks.” She stood and bent down and kissed me on the cheek. I was shocked. No matter what I said I never got that kind of response from her. I stood and slung my book bag over my shoulder. She had already made her way out of the crowded cafeteria. Wow she must really want this.
All that day during my classes I was stuck on that thought, Wow. I was thinking about what that bottle could be. DING!!! The bell rings, schools over. I stand and wait for Jenny at my big red truck; there I see her making her way to me. She says, “You ready?” I shake my head yes and we get in my truck. I turn it on and we start for the market district of the town, while she points which way to go.
We pull up to the store she was talking about. It was empty. The poster was the only thing still on the windows. We park the truck and walk to the door. She tries at the knob, the door glides open, and she snoops inside. I follow trying to keep people from seeing my large body through the window.
The whole store looks deserted, only 1 shelf still stood. The only thing not broken on the shelf is the bottle. She quickly grabs it. “Didn’t you say you were just here last week?” I ask. “Yeah but I have no idea what happened here.” She responds. We sneak back out the door and shoot for my truck. “I wonder how it works.” She says to herself, though I’m thinking the same thing. She puts the bottle in her pocket. “Where should we go now?”I ask. “Just drop me off at my house please.”, She says, I could feel the intense joy in her tone.

zeller86 · 01-01-2010

share your thoughts freely

pseudoclever · 01-01-2010

This is an interesting start, and I'll be back if you post more. But since you asked for people to share their thoughts freely....

The grammar and formatting in this story currently make it a chore to read. I would strongly recommend that, if nothing else, you space out your paragraphs for the next installment. The forum doesn't accept "tab" spaces added in a word processor, and so the convention is to leave a blank line between the end of one paragraph and the beginning of the next.

Like this. Also, whenever someone else speaks, that is supposed to be the start of a new paragraph. When two characters talk back and forth and you don't do this, it makes it hard to follow.

There are some spelling errors, and capitalization and quotation mark errors too, and these you can fix by simply proof-reading your work.

My intention here is NOT to savage something that you put a lot of effort into. I'm just trying to tell you how to make the next one better. Good luck!

zeller86 · 01-01-2010

thank you for your thoughts i will be looking over the next page for any of these errors

thanks

zeller86 · 01-02-2010

PART2!

The next day was finally Friday. I stood waiting again for her. And just as I was thinking of going to the cafeteria myself, there she was. Today she was dressed weird. She had on tight jeans that showed her thighs and a tight black tank top. Her clothes didn’t even look like they belonged to her. Suddenly something hit me, she was taller, her thighs were wider, and her breasts were bigger! I stared in amazement. She was at least 5 feet 2 inches now. I looked, though it’s rude to, at her breasts, I could see her bra was under a lot of pressure.

She looked up at me and smiled, “see anything different today?” She asked seductively.

I fell for it “Yes” I manage to whisper.

She said”well? You ready?”

“Umm, uh, yeah” I say, not even knowing what I’m saying. We begin to walk to the cafeteria when she pulls from her tight pocket, the bottle. I looked down at it, only a tiny bit was gone from the 2 inch bottle.

“I found out what it does.” She said.

“Yeah I have a good guess at it.”I respond. As I start to say something else she quickly put her index finger on my lips, her soft skin sending a rush of sexual thrill through my body, she slowly and sexually shushes me. We sit at the table. We got to the table a bit late today. Just as we sat the bell rang. DING!!!

Again through the school day I can’t stop thinking about Jenny. A thought hits me again (they’re starting to leave a bruise), what will she do with that bottle? I ponder this for the rest of the last class. Again, DING!!! School is over. And it is weekend time!

I walk toward my truck, where I suddenly see jenny laying in the bed. I walk up to her and say, “Comfortable?” She looks up at me and smiles. She climbs out the back and gets into the passenger seat. I start the truck and we start off out the parking lot.

“So what are your plans for the weekend?” I ask. She lifts her hand up in front of herself; in her hand is the bottle. She tips it back as I watch from the corner of my eye as the clear liquid flows into her body.

Suddenly her breasts start to lift from her flat stomach; her head begins to reach for the ceiling of the truck while her thighs start to widen more and more. I pull the truck to the side of the road. I stare in wonder at her growth. All this time she was smiling in a sexy grin. Her seatbelt broke as she took a second drink from the bottle. This time she drank more of the liquid than the first time. I heard a snap as her bra tore under the pressure. Her tight jeans got tighter and tighter until she was ripping from them, though the button wouldn’t break. She grabbed the button and tore it off.

Suddenly she dove at me. As I watch she grew heavier and heavier on top of me in my truck. There we lay for a few moments until I looked at the other side of my truck. Her feet reached as far as mine. She had grown 10 inches from only 2 drinks from that bottle.

I looked at the bottle, which was still in her hand. She still had over three fourths of the liquid still inside. Suddenly her face came down on top of mine. She definitely was bigger. She began a kissing spree. I joined in. We had a kissing battle. She flipped me over top of her and took my pants off me. She was already naked from her growth. A thought hit me (I think they’re starting to make me bleed) what if somebody sees this? I didn’t care; I ignored my conscience and began an adventure within her this journey being led by Mr. Wang, known for exploring the inside of the caves of the female person.

She started to yell from pleasure. I joined in. Together we sounded like an Indian tribe.

I had never felt such a rush, feeling the new love pulse through my veins and into my mind and down to my heart. I couldn’t wait anymore. My brain throbbed and muscles weaken at the thought of my best friend becoming what she always wanted. But I felt a sense of selfishness, this isn’t a feeling for her happiness this is the want inside me and the opportunity to achieve what had always taunted me!

zeller86 · 01-02-2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by pseudoclever

This is an interesting start, and I'll be back if you post more. But since you asked for people to share their thoughts freely....

The grammar and formatting in this story currently make it a chore to read. I would strongly recommend that, if nothing else, you space out your paragraphs for the next installment. The forum doesn't accept "tab" spaces added in a word processor, and so the convention is to leave a blank line between the end of one paragraph and the beginning of the next.

Like this. Also, whenever someone else speaks, that is supposed to be the start of a new paragraph. When two characters talk back and forth and you don't do this, it makes it hard to follow.

There are some spelling errors, and capitalization and quotation mark errors too, and these you can fix by simply proof-reading your work.

My intention here is NOT to savage something that you put a lot of effort into. I'm just trying to tell you how to make the next one better. Good luck!

better?

zeller86 · 01-11-2010

adding more shortly

01-01-2010	#1
zeller86 Process Fan Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 89	Need a change? Come get it! this is my first story i ever did so don't be vicious /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// BTW there will be more i am already working on it I stood in the hall of my school, standing at 6 foot tall I over look most of students of the high school. Every morning before the bell I wait for my friend Jenny to arrive. When she gets here we start to walk to the cafeteria where she and I, and many other students sit to wait for the first bell. I look toward the door as I pace back and forth. I look up with excitement as if I were a dog who saw a cat walk across the street. There she was. Her being only 5 foot tall she was kind of tough to see in the crowd. She had a very beautiful face. She was thin though her thighs push out half a foot more than the other girls, her breasts only the size of a 6th graders, which she hated. Here she comes, I think. She smiles at me while I had been smiling since she walked inside. “Good morning.” She said to me, her beautiful voice like magic to my sensitive ears.”Hello” I say in a friendly tone, covering the tire in my voice. I bend down and pick up my small gray book bag, and sling it over my back. She always has 3 bags, one for books, one for her lunch, and one for anything else she carried around. I don’t offer to carry her bags, every time I do she says no. We make our descend to the cafeteria. She begins to speak, “Do you think I look like a child?” I have to be careful with what I say; she is very sensitive about her size.”No, why do you ask?” so begins one of her stories of her day so far, “Well when I was in that clothes store-“ “Sure-mart?” I interrupt”Yeah. I was looking at clothes and a little girl walked up to the same rack I was at and put clothes on it and yelled ‘MOM THEY WERE TOO SMALL!’” “So?” I ponder. “She looked like she was only 10 years old!” She yelled. Everybody was looking at us. That outburst pulled the attention of every student in the hallway. “Oh” I say. As quick as it happened everybody was back to their gossiping. I look at jenny, her long flowing brown hair taunting me. We finally reached the cafeteria, where many students were sitting talking to each other. Each table was a polygon shape and had six chairs under them. Some chairs were far out of place by students with too many friends for six chairs at their table. We reach the table we normally sit at. She starts taking her bags of her shoulders and put them on the table, while I sling my book bag onto the table with a great BANG! We each sit in a chair, both of us turning our chair to see each other, she had something else to say, I had a strong feeling in my gut. “I was in town last week and I saw a store.” She began “yeah theres a lot of those.” I say playfully. She smiles and says, “No I mean I saw a store that had a poster saying ‘Need a change? Come get it’ so I went inside and on a shelf I saw a bottle that said ‘Wish Granted’ on it so I asked the clerk about it. He was really ugly so I didn’t want to see him much anymore so I asked quickly; he said ‘If you drink it something will happen that you always wanted.’ I asked him what he meant but he wouldn’t answer me.” “Yeah?” I said, I didn’t know what to say to this. What if she was joking? Then I may waste my time on it. But what if she wasn’t? She suddenly got very happy,” I was wondering if you would come to the store with me to get that bottle.” I was confused but out my mouth came “Sure.” I had no clue why I said that. DING!!! The bell rang, it was time for class. “Great”, she said “thanks.” She stood and bent down and kissed me on the cheek. I was shocked. No matter what I said I never got that kind of response from her. I stood and slung my book bag over my shoulder. She had already made her way out of the crowded cafeteria. Wow she must really want this. All that day during my classes I was stuck on that thought, Wow. I was thinking about what that bottle could be. DING!!! The bell rings, schools over. I stand and wait for Jenny at my big red truck; there I see her making her way to me. She says, “You ready?” I shake my head yes and we get in my truck. I turn it on and we start for the market district of the town, while she points which way to go. We pull up to the store she was talking about. It was empty. The poster was the only thing still on the windows. We park the truck and walk to the door. She tries at the knob, the door glides open, and she snoops inside. I follow trying to keep people from seeing my large body through the window. The whole store looks deserted, only 1 shelf still stood. The only thing not broken on the shelf is the bottle. She quickly grabs it. “Didn’t you say you were just here last week?” I ask. “Yeah but I have no idea what happened here.” She responds. We sneak back out the door and shoot for my truck. “I wonder how it works.” She says to herself, though I’m thinking the same thing. She puts the bottle in her pocket. “Where should we go now?”I ask. “Just drop me off at my house please.”, She says, I could feel the intense joy in her tone.

01-01-2010	#2
zeller86 Process Fan Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 89	Re: Need a change? Come get it! share your thoughts freely

01-01-2010	#3
pseudoclever Frequent Poster Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 309	Re: Need a change? Come get it! This is an interesting start, and I'll be back if you post more. But since you asked for people to share their thoughts freely.... The grammar and formatting in this story currently make it a chore to read. I would strongly recommend that, if nothing else, you space out your paragraphs for the next installment. The forum doesn't accept "tab" spaces added in a word processor, and so the convention is to leave a blank line between the end of one paragraph and the beginning of the next. Like this. Also, whenever someone else speaks, that is supposed to be the start of a new paragraph. When two characters talk back and forth and you don't do this, it makes it hard to follow. There are some spelling errors, and capitalization and quotation mark errors too, and these you can fix by simply proof-reading your work. My intention here is NOT to savage something that you put a lot of effort into. I'm just trying to tell you how to make the next one better. Good luck! __________________ Stories by Pseudoclever My Lovely Sylvia (SW) An Expanded Hypothesis (SW/GTS) Big Surprises (GTS) Four Types of Reactions (GTS) ...and many others.

01-01-2010	#4
zeller86 Process Fan Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 89	Re: Need a change? Come get it! thank you for your thoughts i will be looking over the next page for any of these errors thanks

01-02-2010	#5
zeller86 Process Fan Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 89	Re: Need a change? Come get it! PART2! The next day was finally Friday. I stood waiting again for her. And just as I was thinking of going to the cafeteria myself, there she was. Today she was dressed weird. She had on tight jeans that showed her thighs and a tight black tank top. Her clothes didn’t even look like they belonged to her. Suddenly something hit me, she was taller, her thighs were wider, and her breasts were bigger! I stared in amazement. She was at least 5 feet 2 inches now. I looked, though it’s rude to, at her breasts, I could see her bra was under a lot of pressure. She looked up at me and smiled, “see anything different today?” She asked seductively. I fell for it “Yes” I manage to whisper. She said”well? You ready?” “Umm, uh, yeah” I say, not even knowing what I’m saying. We begin to walk to the cafeteria when she pulls from her tight pocket, the bottle. I looked down at it, only a tiny bit was gone from the 2 inch bottle. “I found out what it does.” She said. “Yeah I have a good guess at it.”I respond. As I start to say something else she quickly put her index finger on my lips, her soft skin sending a rush of sexual thrill through my body, she slowly and sexually shushes me. We sit at the table. We got to the table a bit late today. Just as we sat the bell rang. DING!!! Again through the school day I can’t stop thinking about Jenny. A thought hits me again (they’re starting to leave a bruise), what will she do with that bottle? I ponder this for the rest of the last class. Again, DING!!! School is over. And it is weekend time! I walk toward my truck, where I suddenly see jenny laying in the bed. I walk up to her and say, “Comfortable?” She looks up at me and smiles. She climbs out the back and gets into the passenger seat. I start the truck and we start off out the parking lot. “So what are your plans for the weekend?” I ask. She lifts her hand up in front of herself; in her hand is the bottle. She tips it back as I watch from the corner of my eye as the clear liquid flows into her body. Suddenly her breasts start to lift from her flat stomach; her head begins to reach for the ceiling of the truck while her thighs start to widen more and more. I pull the truck to the side of the road. I stare in wonder at her growth. All this time she was smiling in a sexy grin. Her seatbelt broke as she took a second drink from the bottle. This time she drank more of the liquid than the first time. I heard a snap as her bra tore under the pressure. Her tight jeans got tighter and tighter until she was ripping from them, though the button wouldn’t break. She grabbed the button and tore it off. Suddenly she dove at me. As I watch she grew heavier and heavier on top of me in my truck. There we lay for a few moments until I looked at the other side of my truck. Her feet reached as far as mine. She had grown 10 inches from only 2 drinks from that bottle. I looked at the bottle, which was still in her hand. She still had over three fourths of the liquid still inside. Suddenly her face came down on top of mine. She definitely was bigger. She began a kissing spree. I joined in. We had a kissing battle. She flipped me over top of her and took my pants off me. She was already naked from her growth. A thought hit me (I think they’re starting to make me bleed) what if somebody sees this? I didn’t care; I ignored my conscience and began an adventure within her this journey being led by Mr. Wang, known for exploring the inside of the caves of the female person. She started to yell from pleasure. I joined in. Together we sounded like an Indian tribe. I had never felt such a rush, feeling the new love pulse through my veins and into my mind and down to my heart. I couldn’t wait anymore. My brain throbbed and muscles weaken at the thought of my best friend becoming what she always wanted. But I felt a sense of selfishness, this isn’t a feeling for her happiness this is the want inside me and the opportunity to achieve what had always taunted me! Last edited by zeller86; 01-02-2010 at 08:34 PM.

01-11-2010	#7
zeller86 Process Fan Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 89	Re: Need a change? Come get it! adding more shortly __________________ Winning isn't a problem, it's a way of life.