Story - Bar Dreams (mini-gts)

[Wussy]

A request from another forum.

I had a lot of fun writing this one (it helped that LOST was a rerun this week).

Eric hated alcohol and he hated being drunk. So naturally his friends loved to drag him to the bars. “We need a designated driver!” they’d always say. And he always agreed, because he knew that if he didn’t they’d probably do something they might not live to regret.

And so here he was, out at the same seedy bar for the 4th time in two weeks. It was a total dump, and since he didn’t drink, he was following his usual routine of nursing a glass of water and trying to make himself invisible at a corner table until one of his buddies texted him to take them home. That worked most of the time, so it was quite a surprise when a woman’s voice asked him, “What’re you reading?”

“Errr… ahh….” was all he managed to stammer out. He had never seen such a beautiful woman. Her hazel eyes seemed to shine with an inner light, while her ruby red lips just begged to be kissed. Her long, auburn hair cascaded down to her shoulders in a waterfall of color. He shook his head to try and snap himself out of the trance. “Umm… what?”

She giggled musically. He wasn’t even aware that was possible. “I said, ‘what are you reading?’”

“Oh, this?” Eric was at a loss. Surely she could just see the cover for herself. So that meant that she might actually be interested in him. He was sure that his face was turning a deep crimson but he knew he had to soldier on. “It talks about superstition and pseudoscience fall apart when you apply critical thinking skills….” He let his voice trail off so he could mentally kick himself for sounding so incredibly nerdy.

To his great surprise, she smiled. “That sounds neat. Can you tell me more? And do you mind if I sit down?”

“Uhh, sure! I don’t mind at all!” He quickly stood up and motioned for her to take a seat at the other side of the table. For the briefest of moments, he was standing right next to her, but that was all it took. He hadn’t noticed it while sitting down, but when he got up he could clearly see that she was tall for a woman. Very tall. He was 6’, and she looked to be almost a head larger. But just as he started to realize their height difference she sat down, quickly enough that he wasn’t sure exactly how tall she was.

“Thanks for that. You were talking about the book?”

Eric sat back down across from the mystery beauty, a thousand thoughts running through his brain. But the most recurring one of all was, “Why did she have to be so damn tall?” He was kind of a tall guy, and had always assumed that all women were shorter than him. The few that weren’t, such as those in the WNBA, he looked upon as freaks and not worth his time. This one was certainly worth his attention, but he couldn’t deny their height difference….

“You ok? You keep drifting off.”

That snapped him out of his haze. “Oh, sorry about that. What were you saying, again?”

“I was curious about the book. But I can see that you’re busy, so I’ll just leave you alone then.” She started to get up, but he reached across the table and grabbed her hand.

“No, no! It’s OK. I just get lost in thought sometimes! It’s not you, honest!”

She smiled that sweet smile again as she sat back down. She gazed into his eyes, as if searching for something. Then she said, “You can let go of my hand now, sweetie.”

“Oh! Sorry!” Eric practically dropped it like a dead fish. He was blowing the greatest opportunity of his life, big time. He frantically tried to recall what they were talking about. “Right, the book! Basically, the author says that when people claim things like ESP, magic, and even UFOs, they have to be able to defend those beliefs….”

They talked for nearly an hour. Discussing the book led to discussing alien abduction, which led to the stars, which (somehow) lead to politics. Eric was finally beginning to relax when she said, “Hey, I need to use the powder room for a bit. I’ll be right back, OK?” He stood up as she left, not only to be polite but to also see how tall she was. But she walked away lightly hunched over, and he still didn’t get a good look.

Five minutes later she returned, but something seemed different. He could swear that she was taller than when she left. Her pants exposed her ankles, while her shirt exposed her wrists. Was he imagining things?

They sat back down, but no sooner had they resumed their talks when her phone went off. “Sorry, I have to take this. I’ll be back in just a minute.” And again she left him.

When she returned, he was sure that she was taller. Her pants ended at almost mid-calf, and it was a similar story concerning sleeves on her shirt. Her already ample chest was straining the buttons almost to their breaking point, and she looked to be at least 6 inches taller than when he had first met her.

She smiled sweetly as she sat back down. “Sorry about that. You were saying?”

He opened his mouth to confront her about her new size, but thought better of it. After all, what would he say? What could he say? Instead, he asked, “You know, I just realized that we haven’t introduced ourselves. My name’s Eric.”

“I’m Trish,” she said, as she extended her hand. They shook, and Eric was amazed at how her hand seemed to swallow his. She leaned back in the chair. “You know, I have to be honest with you, Eric.”

“Really? About what?”

“Well, I was really just trying to avoid the alcoholics I call friends. I tried to hide in the darkest corner I could find, but it was already taken. Anyway, you seemed like a nice enough guy, so here we are.”

He felt something rub against his leg, and blushed again when he realized it was her foot. But she wasn’t really leaning far enough back to reach him, was she?

“Umm… I guess I should admit something too.”

“Really?” She leaned in close, resting her arms on the table. “I’m all ears.”

“I, umm, I’m kinda doing the same thing. My buddies are over there, trying to out-last each other with shots.”

“You see? We have a lot in common after all!”

“Yeah, I guess we do. I have to say, Trish, that you’re one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever met.”

“Do you say that to all the women you meet in bars?”

“N-no! Of course not! … Wait, I mean, I don’t meet women in bars! I just try and stay out of the way most of the time….”

“Relax, sweetie. I’m just teasing you.” She grinned to prove her point. “I’ve got to go talk to my girlfriends, though. I’ll be back in a second.”

After what seemed like an eternity, Trish returned to their table. Her pants only reached her knees and were so tight they looked almost painted on. Her shirt only reached her elbows, and he could hear the faint sounds of thread breaking as she moved. She had undone the top button of her shirt in an attempt to relieve some the pressure, but her truly impressive breasts had grown to take up the slack and then some.

Eric was having some very mixed feelings. In the back of his mind, the idea that tall women were freaks was still dancing around somewhere. But that idea was being completely drowned out by just how GOOD she looked. Shockingly, no one else seemed to notice that a gorgeous 7’ woman wearing clothes 6 sizes too small was walking amongst them. “They must be too drunk to notice,” reasoned Eric.

Trish leaned way, way down and whispered into his ear, “I gave my friends $50 and told them to take a cab home tonight. I suggest you do the same.”

Eric stood up so fast he banged his knee into the table. Completely oblivious to the pain, he raced over to his friends and gave them all the money in his pocket. Even in their drunken stupor, they knew exactly what was going on when they looked over his shoulder at the amazon waiting for him. They gave him slaps on the back and drunken words of encouragement, and he returned to the waiting Trish with a grin that he just couldn’t hide.

---------------------

“Wow….”

“You can say that again…”

The two of them were basking in the afterglow, trying to catch their breath and recover some stamina. Trish had continued to grow ever larger all the while, until the 9’ woman took up most of the bed, even curled up as she was. Eric, confused at first, finally said, “fuck it” to himself and just gone along with it. He ended up enjoying the experiment far, far more than he ever would’ve hoped.

“You know, I have to say that I’ve never really been all that into tall girls. At least, not until I met you. Do you mind me asking how tall you are?”

“Sweetie, it’s not the first time I’ve been asked that. I’m 6’2”.”

“Wow, that IS pretty… wait… Six foot two?!”

It was as if a picture shattered and the truth was standing right behind it. All of a sudden she wasn’t an impossibly large amazon taking up almost the entire bed, but ‘merely’ a woman slightly larger than himself cuddling sweetly.

“Well, yeah. I admit, that’s pretty big, but there’s no reason to flip out over it like you are….”

“No, it’s not that!” Eric’s mind raced with all of the stuff that had happened that night. Was he somehow hallucinating the entire thing? Had she truly not grown a single inch? Granted, that was the most rational and, well, sane answer. But it had seemed so real…. “I just… I thought you were taller, is all.”

“Ha! Do you have any idea how hard it is to find clothes that fit me now? God, if I were any bigger I’d go broke having to special order everything!”

“No, no, I get that. I really do. It’s just…”

“What is it, sweetie?”

“It’s nothing. My mind must’ve been playing tricks on me.”

“It’s obviously bothering you. Just say it already!”

“Well, I thought…. (God, this is going to sound stupid.) I thought that you were growing taller.” He sighed deeply before continuing. “I know that’s impossible, but I could’ve sworn that…”

Trish kissed him softly on the lips to stop his talking. “What did the author of your book say? ‘Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence’?” Eric nodded. She smiled and guided his hand to one of her naked breasts. “How’s this for evidence?”

Eric’s eyes went wide as he felt the soft flesh swell larger and larger.

What do you think? What worked and what didn't? Let me know your thoughts, especially about the ending.

[dkeznwod]

fabulous work no fmg ^^

[pseudoclever]

Worked: The general plot is well-constructed. Grammar, sentence construction, and in particular dialogue, are well-done. There are a lot of little half-jokes in the exposition, and they're enjoyable. In the places where you describe her growing, you do it well, or add in little beats like her having undone buttons.

Didn't work: It seems like you skipped in a couple of places here. In growth description, and in particular the segway from them leaving the bar to immediately being finished having sex, talking about her growing in the past tense. That could've used some filling in.

But overall, I would say this is a pretty solid offering. 4/5

[Wussy]

Originally Posted by pseudoclever

Worked: The general plot is well-constructed. Grammar, sentence construction, and in particular dialogue, are well-done. There are a lot of little half-jokes in the exposition, and they're enjoyable. In the places where you describe her growing, you do it well, or add in little beats like her having undone buttons.

Didn't work: It seems like you skipped in a couple of places here. In growth description, and in particular the segway from them leaving the bar to immediately being finished having sex, talking about her growing in the past tense. That could've used some filling in.

But overall, I would say this is a pretty solid offering. 4/5

I appreciate the kind words about the dialog. I try to make sure it sounds natural and believable.

Well, the (lack of) growth descriptions are intentional. The request was specifically that every time she returns, she's a little bigger.

As for the other part, yeah, I don't normally do graphic sex in my stories. But there should've been a break in there (I forget that it loses some formatting when being copy/pasted). I edited that back in. Thanks for catching it.

And most importantly, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[Mr Wayne]

Wussy,

You may or may not remember my SN a lil while back from using DC++, but I certainly do recognize yours. Nice piece of literature although not as much clothes rippage as I normally like. I must admit it is still a great short story and a very sweet, knee-jerk (reaction) ending. Makes the reader almost beg for a sequel

[robclassact]

I like it, Wussy. After I spent nearly a year working on my first story (Growing Into Herself) I've been interested in experimenting with short "oneshot" stories. I like that your story seemed focused on particular objectives and didn't try to do everything. I also like your choice to not use too many exact height numbers. It forces the writer to be a bit more creative with descriptions.

Good stuff, I'll probably add it to the wiki (unless you have objections). By the way, I'm already a big fan of your other stories including "Lifelong Growth," "Lightning Strikes," and "Amazing Diet." You've got a real talent for short stories.

[Wussy]

Originally Posted by Volfsbayne

Wussy,

You may or may not remember my SN a lil while back from using DC++, but I certainly do recognize yours. Nice piece of literature although not as much clothes rippage as I normally like. I must admit it is still a great short story and a very sweet, knee-jerk (reaction) ending. Makes the reader almost beg for a sequel

Yeah, I remember you. I don't think we talked very much though. Anyway, I'm happy you liked it. I don't really have any ideas for a sequel. I mean, where would it go from there?

If you think of something, let me know and I'll see what I can do.

Originally Posted by robclassact

I like it, Wussy. After I spent nearly a year working on my first story (Growing Into Herself) I've been interested in experimenting with short "oneshot" stories. I like that your story seemed focused on particular objectives and didn't try to do everything. I also like your choice to not use too many exact height numbers. It forces the writer to be a bit more creative with descriptions.

Good stuff, I'll probably add it to the wiki (unless you have objections). By the way, I'm already a big fan of your other stories including "Lifelong Growth," "Lightning Strikes," and "Amazing Diet." You've got a real talent for short stories.

Hey, I'm all for putting it on the site. If you think it's good enough to share, then that's fine by me!

The 'exact numbers' thing has always bugged me. I've read stuff where people explicitly state heights (Lisa looked at her surroundings. "My God, I must be 18 feet tall!") and all I can say is, "How could you tell?"

Granted, there are settings where it makes perfect sense to know exact numbers ("If the machine was set to 150%, and I was 5'6", then that means...."), but I think that's few and far between. Besides, it's much easier to visualize if you say "the tallest of trees were barely reaching her ankles" than if you just said "she was 150' tall".

Having said all that, I did play around with numbers in one of my stories, [shameless plug]Gamer Girl[/shameless plug]. In that one, I took a completely different approach to illustrating the effects of growth. I don't think I'll use that approach again, since it was pretty much universally agreed upon that it wasn't a very good method. But you never know until you try, right?

[pseudoclever]

Ah, the old 'exact height vs. comparisons' debate. If you don't mind, I'll throw my 2 cents in

You're right, sometimes it doesn't make sense to throw around hard measurement numbers. And you're right, it's easier to visualize heights if you say things like 'she was a head taller than me.' For SOME people. But there are rather a lot of people out there who want to know those numbers, I guess because it makes the whole thing more real for them.

In the end, writing a story and completely refusing to use numbers would be like painting a picture and deciding not to use any red. It might be fine, and maybe the picture doesn't call for it, but you shouldn't be afraid to use it where it belongs.

[robclassact]

Originally Posted by pseudoclever

Ah, the old 'exact height vs. comparisons' debate. If you don't mind, I'll throw my 2 cents in

You're right, sometimes it doesn't make sense to throw around hard measurement numbers. And you're right, it's easier to visualize heights if you say things like 'she was a head taller than me.' For SOME people. But there are rather a lot of people out there who want to know those numbers, I guess because it makes the whole thing more real for them.

In the end, writing a story and completely refusing to use numbers would be like painting a picture and deciding not to use any red. It might be fine, and maybe the picture doesn't call for it, but you shouldn't be afraid to use it where it belongs.

I agree, pseudo, that leaving out numbers for its own sake is fishy. It should always fit the context. If the protagonist is slowly growing over the course of a few days, then it would make sense for numbers to get stated because I imagine she would probably want to know. At the same time, when the girl grows suddenly and she is able to suddenly say, "Oh my god! I'm 6'4!" it doesn't work as well for me.

A favorite strategy of mine (or, at least, the one that I used in my story) was to establish the heights of other non-growing characters and then use the relative height comparisons until the girl can actually measure herself in a proper context.

[MadmanDarkHeretic]

Mmm. Nice stories. *clicks and reads a few of yours after this*