A Fedgling Writer Emerges

[Gagecoalbrace]

Yep its me here is my first work that Ive wrote

Updated: check latest post

Im open for all times of feedback I may be writing Process material later if I get better.

Gage Coalbrace(MTF)

[budthedog]

LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!

Fedgling!!!!! what are you fedgling?!!?!?! who have you fedgled???!?!?!?!?!?!

THat SOOOOOOOOOO Funeeee! KUPO!!1!!

[Gagecoalbrace]

Yes I butcher any language I type or speak bite me. but that is why it took me months of work to get that and get most of the errors out...
:P

[budthedog]

Oop, sorry, an unintended victim of my mockery of underage posters. I will not grill you for a spelling error, though it seems rather unfortunate that it would appear on your "coming out" thread"

[Gagecoalbrace]

well yes I may have few posts but I'm a man of few words and I'm usually very blunt. I love Mozilla spell check BTW it helps me make my typing readable. Ive been around the community for a awhile Just haven't posted much my first deleaching post happened early last year.

[Gagecoalbrace]

Updated the piece here

http://gagecoalbrace.deviantart.com/...5-08-103311433

~Gage

[Gagecoalbrace]

Ok this would be Getting Discouraging. if I didnt have teachers and friends helping me and telling me how to fix it also Version 3 of the prolog is up and later this week Ill have atleast a seemy bio for one of the characters. I dont want to say this but PLEASE FLAME MY WRITING SO I CAN MAKE IT BETTER!!!

[budthedog]

People on this forum are notorious for ignoring writing. Here's my deal. it's really late where I'm at, so tomorrow, I'll critique your writing. kay?

[Matrix1807]

If you're gonna even bother convincing someone to READ your works, at least make a decent post, fedgly! ) No offense meant, but first and foremost you must handle punctuation. Nobody can read 2-3 sentences without any separators...

[morwalugi]

http://www.geocities.com/missharethe/snake_maiden.html

[budthedog]

Oh shit, I forgot to do it. and it's late again. TOMORROW! I PROMISE!!! IT IS MY NINDO!!!!

[Sephie]

Just now found this thread. I wish that not only would people actually read the writing threads but they would comment on them. The lack of this discourages new writers. Most of the better writers actually appreciate it when you find errors and point it out and the lack of community interface can cause them not to submit their works, or in my case not bother in producing process material (though college has something to do with that too).

In the beginning there was only one god and man.

This sentence is ambiguous. It could mean that their was only one god and one man or there was only one god and there was man (as in mankind).

The god watched over them unnoticed until one of his jokes back fired.

I would establish that the god played jokes on man before you have this sentence.

More to come later