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#1 |
Watcher
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 258
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Code Lolite (Complete)
Hi there,
I hope that you all had a nice new year celebration. My own was nice, quiet and generally good ![]() As some of you may remember, back in 07-09 I penned a transformation story series; which met with a varied, but good reception. Though a little late now, I would like to offer a little tale to welcome in 2011 here on the forum. You can find "Code: Lolite" here for your reading. Thanks, Alchemical Night. |
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#2 |
"My way of thanking you"
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 401
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Re: Code Redux: A little something for 2011
As usual very nice work. I always feel you're missing a little something with these from making me say, "Wow that was pretty nice and vivid." To, "Wow that was awesome and one of the best transformation stories I've seen." I really think that missing factor is the shortness more then anything. Don't get me wrong you establish the characters quite well and the setting is nicely established too it's just that a lot of this centers around the transformation and while that factor is almost always quite nicely done in your work I always feel that more focus on the characters after they've become these characters and less focus on the transformation makes a better story as a whole.
Yes, your transformations are great. And if that's all you write it for and for the enjoyment derived purely from them mission very much accomplished. If you want people to like the stories based on their own merit and attempt to go beyond the pure fetish value I think you can advance quite a bit more. Either way I'm more then satisfied with what you've presented but I can't help but wish you'd go further in pure story terms. |
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#3 |
Process Fan
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 72
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Re: Code Redux: A little something for 2011
Wow this is really good. I had thought you had quit writing stories so it's nice to see a new one. Thanks for the great work.
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#4 |
Lurker/budding TG author
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 269
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Re: Code Redux: A little something for 2011
Loved it. Her reaction was interesting to read, and you used words which I wished I could've thought up earlier for sequences like this.
Though Frice is right. Feels like there's more to this story than just the transformation. The wizard couldn't have just transformed him for lulz.
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-Male characters I like to see TG'd: Koizumi (Haruhi), Shinji (EVA), Keitaro (Love Hina), Satoshi (DNAngel) -Female characters I'd like to be (Update): Rei (EVA), Ami and Haruka (Sailor Moon), Nene (BGC2040), Teletha (FMP), Haruhi and Mikuru(Haruhi Suzumiya), Yourichi and Rangiku (Bleach), Riza(FMA), Lenalee (D Gray Man), Ennis (Baccano). Last edited by Apsm; 01-07-2011 at 05:00 AM. |
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#5 |
Lurker
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 29
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Re: Code Redux: A little something for 2011
Yeah, I agree, that's always the problem I have with your stories. The set-up and transformation are absolutely superb, but they always feel like they abruptly stop short, as if there's meant to be much more to be told, especially in this one.
But yeah, other than that, absolutely top-notch work! |
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#6 |
Watcher
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 258
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Re: Code Redux: A little something for 2011
Thank you to all those who commented.
In relation to those reviews, I can certainly relate and understand. In writing the original series, and now this, it has been a difficult question between balancing a interesting narrative and a compelling transformation. I am glad to have kept things fairly good thus far. Though, I can appreciate that further development beyond my traditonal boundaries would be interesting and take the transformee in new directions, in their changed state too. I have been considering that for a while, and hope to maybe develop that idea further into a feasible concept. Still, I am glad that readers have enjoyed it thus far; and I may return to Vincent/Aqua in the future, and any possible (mis)adventures they might have ![]() ![]() Thanks, Alchemical Night. |
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