To Bake a Christmas Cake (Complete)

[Reif]

(1/18/2010) - Now in sumptous PDF flavor

(12/16/2009) Alright I know this one is a touch old, but the season of merry making is here and in case you missed it last year here is my 2008 gift to the community. For those who read TBACC the first time well my 2009 gift is going to be a little late but you can expect Part 2 of The Succubus Bride series coming to a forum near you in early January.
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Okay second one from me.

This one is obviously seasonal, but I had the idea and felt like doing it. Its only about 1/3 as long as TSWN and its more straight forward with substantially less moral relativity.

Essentially this is a quick vignette that helped clear my mind after the effort of my first major story but I still feel its worth your time. I guarantee you though, with the way the plot map on my my next dramatic epic is growing #3is going to be a monster.

I did do a minor tie in to TSWN but this story should stand by itself if you haven't read the first one.

Without further delay I present to you, To Bake a Christmas Cake.

[mario_0345]

Nice, and interesting story, and a happy ending. Thanks for posting it.

[Lord T Hawkeye]

May be malaware on those. Only thing I've downloaded today and now I'm having to scan my comp because warnings keep popping up. -_-

[frice2000]

Very nice story, I enjoyed it quite a bit. Thank you very much for posting it. I look forward to reading anything else you come out with . A couple little criticisms and complements follow, but all in all I really enjoyed this story. Again thanks for it.

He slowly mumbled out to himself. “Wait…cheesecake is a euphemism for…”

A common street thug uses words like euphemism correctly? :P

“Why do women wear heels? Women wear heels because it makes their legs look good and its makes them taller. Why do they want to look taller? Because women are shorter and smaller than men usually. This witch is making me into a woman. Oh NO, I’m going to be short and small that’s why it (me) wants to wear them.” Ed’s internal monologue ended in an external cry of despair as the new realization sunk in.

Would be better if you broke that up into a feminine inner voice as well as his struggling male inner voice or if you had simply broken the thoughts up into separate lines, kind of hard to follow like that. Also I wish you had included a little more of it later in the story would have been interesting.

Ed wobbly rose to his small feet like a fawn taking its first steps

Awesome line love it.

[zdarkness]

Do I smell a sequel, with AR perhaps?

[Reif]

Lord Hawkeye...

I don't think its me. I pulled in fresh virus definitions and ran a full system scan with both Norton and Ad-Aware, neither found anything.

Have you been visiting deviantart lately? Occasionally my fire-wall starts getting pinged after I browse there.

Frice...

Yeah I see that now...thug using a 5 dollar word is not good...thanks for pointing that out, I'm not used to writing dumb characters and thats something I'm going to need to remind myself about going forward.

That inner monologue section went through about 2 or 3 rewrites and I still never got it to sound right. Probably my least favorite section.

zdarkness

AR isn't one of my bigger things, but if I do write some thats what its going to be, elderly to young. Not judging, but turning a young woman into a child has no appeal for me.

All

If you liked this but were put off by the length of my first story "The succubus' wedding night" give it a try.

[frice2000]

Originally Posted by Reif

If you liked this but were put off by the length of my first story "The succubus' wedding night" give it a try.

I read your other story...I don't know I think this was a lot better. Might have to do with me loving succubus transformations and being sad to have not seen one ...It was false advertising damn it .

My problem with the other one in seriousness wasn't its length or lack of hot demonic chicks...That was fine, I don't mind long stories...Its just after the initial bar scene a lot of the temptation and feeling stuff he was experiencing to me seemed way too long. I understand you were trying to convey a great struggle and all there it just dragged on and kept repeating itself in my opinion...It could have been shorter, or the lust could have felt different each time, too often I felt like I was re-reading the story over and over. And now for the sacrilege: What I DID think was too long even though it was masterfully written in the other story was the transformation sequence...I know that's why most of us are here and you definitely did an awesome process scene in that story I just felt that again it got repetitive even though it was well written. However, I did like the two characters little cameo in this story showing that they are definitely happy. Interesting that the witch seemingly knows that she wasn't born in that form...You creating your own story universe? You are off to a good start if you are .

In contrast this story was superbly balanced. You introduced the main characters well and dealt with the transformation at a much better clip all without being repetitive. Its for that reason that I commented on this story, the other story was good for the pure fetish value that many come here for, but this story was good as both a transformation story and a story within itself. All in all I enjoyed this one better by far, but it had nothing to do with length. Good writing and story is what gets me into a TF story and makes me enjoy a read. All in all I thought your second story here was on par with the best transformation stories I've ever read. I would definitely say your second story was comparable to my favorite TG authors from old Fictionmania Anon Allsop and Deane Christopher. It was excellent, huge step up in quality of work in my opinion.

[Lord T Hawkeye]

Never had a problem with deviant art but yes, I'm there all the time.

Not a big deal, my security program is good. No program accesses the net without my say so.

[comatose]

That was a delightfully entertaining story, suitable for the holidays too!

[garycamaro86]

You are a fantastic author. Keep writing more!

[Hardcase]

Amazing description and wonderful characters! Please post more.

[mkf2001]

Great story. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Keep it up!