New Slow Growth Story

[Logan73]

Hey all,
I am awfully busy and unproductive, but I have so much fun here that I feel guilty about not giving anything back, so here is the beginning of a new story I am writing. I hope you enjoy it. Any feedback (constructive is best) is welcome. I will try to update a couple of times a week, but no promises.

Peter?s Collider
By Logan73

Chapter 1

?Ha!? Peter exclaimed derisively. ?Large-Hadron Collider my ass!?
Spread before him was a large hoop made from what appeared to be PVC pipe, held together at crucial points by metal braces, and all together measuring about four feet in diameter.
?Who needs miles of underground tunnel in Switzerland? Idiots, that?s who. No wonder they?ve never won a war.?
Peter?s self-congratulatory rant, although somewhat premature, was not wholly unjustified. With his Associate?s Degree in applied particle physics, about $150 worth of parts from Home Depot and an empty garage, he had built a (presumably) functional particle accelerator, a feat which had cost the Large-Hadron team millions of dollars and years of tedious effort. It was natural to be proud.
?Honey, who are you talking to?? The voice drifted easily through the thin floorboards of Peter?s modest split level home. That would be his wife, Sandy.
?Come down to the garage, Sandy!? he responded eagerly. ?I want to show you something!?
He heard the thudding of her shoes on the rickety stairs and in a moment she emerged from the doorway. She was a real beauty, 5?6? with a waspish figure and shiny blond hair. A natural blonde, lacking the perpetually discolored roots that Peter found so distasteful in other women.
?What is it, dear??
?It?s a particle accelerator, supercollider to be precise. Take a look.?
?Does it work? It looks like a model.?
?So do you, darling,? he said with a wink, causing her to blush. Sandy was the easily embarrassed type, a trait which Peter found utterly charming. ?But, yes, it works. Or at least it should. I was about to test it.?
?Is like that one in Switzerland? Because I heard on the news that there?s a possibility that it could destroy the universe.?
Peter flinched at the reference to his overseas rivals. ?Actually this is a lot smaller and more efficient than theirs is. They?ve got miles of tunnel? - here he stretched out his arms by way of demonstration ? ?while my supercollider can do the same thing in just a few feet.?
?That?s very impressive, Peter, but will it destroy the universe??
?Probably not.?
?Probably not?? She cocked a skeptical eyebrow.
?The risks are very small. This is for science!? He raised a finger dramatically in the air. ?Anyway, stop raining on my parade. This is supposed to be a my big moment. If this works I?ll become a giant of the scientific community.?
?Oh all right, I?m sorry. Fire it up, then.?
Peter was somewhat taken aback. Sandy was typically very strong willed and not eager to give an inch on her opinions. ?What, you were just worried about the end of the universe, but now all of a sudden you don?t care??
She laughed. Her laugh was not high and tinkling, nor deep and throaty, but warm and filled with genuine happiness. That was another of her winning qualities. ?Peter, I was only joking with you! I know you wouldn?t do anything you thought was seriously dangerous. Now come on, let?s see this thing do? whatever it?s supposed to do.?
?Alright, now what?s going to happen is, when I turn it on protons are going to shoot in that pipe and circle around faster and faster until they approach the speed of light. Then, sooner or later, two of them will smash right into each other.?
She nodded. ?And then what happens??
?That?s sort of the point of the experiment. We don?t exactly know.?
?Alright, I?m ready.?
Peter held his breath and flipped the switch, half expecting the whole contraption to collapse right then and there, but in reality very little happened. There was a high pitched whirring, though not terribly loud, and the lights dimmed somewhat as the machine required a great deal of power. Sandy watched anxiously for a minute or two, then turned to her husband.
?How long does is this going to take??
Peter looked embarrassed. ?Well, I don?t actually know. We have to wait for the protons to collide, but they?re so small that who knows how long it could be before ? ?
There was a sound like a giant flash bulb going off and a blinding light to match. Peter?s vision swam, insofar as a field of brilliant white could swim, for that was all he could see. He faintly heard his wife complaining that she was blind, but her voice seemed very far off.
Slowly, the light faded and the world came back into focus. He could see Sandy rubbing her eyes. When she removed her hands he could see that they were watering fiercely.
?Geez, Peter, next time want me to watch your experiments, will you at least get me some sunglasses? Wow, that was bright!?
?I?m sorry, I didn?t expect that kind of reaction. I?ll need to run some tests before I know what happened, but at least something happened.?
?Yeah, well I?m happy for you, but right now I?m going upstairs to lie down. That light gave me a killer headache.?
?You?re not the only one,? Peter grimaced. ?I?ll come with you, maybe put a cold washcloth over my eyes.?
?Sounds like a plan,? she agreed, sounding less annoyed already. Still woozy, they made their way back up the stairs, while the supercollider behind them continued to whir unnoticed.

Chapter 2

Peter came out of the bathroom with a wet rag pressed tightly to his forehead. ?Ah, that feels better. Do want one of these, honey?? he asked, extending his left hand to offer her the other cloth he had prepared.
Sandy had been laying on the bed, fingers pressed to her temples, but upon seeing Peter rose quickly. ?Oh yes, that sounds wonderful, thank you!?
She reached for the cloth, but as she lifted her arm, something strange happened. Her arm seemed to stretch as she held it out. Her fingers closed around the rag an instant before Peter?s sense of distance told him they should. It was only a fraction of a second?s difference, but Peter, having an acute mind, couldn?t help but see it. Before he could ponder the incongruity and further, however, Sandy was standing right next to him and raising the damp cloth to her forehead. The action only took a second, but to Peter it seemed much longer, for her hand ascended the length of her body, the rest of her seemed to follow suit.
In one smooth motion, and right before Peter?s eyes, Sandy?s legs stretched longer, her torso elongated and her arms lengthened. He could even see her breasts press slightly against her blouse before the fabric seemed to grow to accommodate them. And by the time Sandy?s hand had reached her forehead, she was looking Peter straight in the eye.
Now Peter had always had a comfortable six inches on his wife, and having that gap abruptly and unexpectedly bridged left him quite speechless.
?Mmmm,? Sandy said, enjoying the cool moisture on her head. ?That?s much better. Thank you so much, Pet-? She opened her eyes and saw her husband?s startled face. ?Peter? What?s wrong? Are you okay??
Peter swallowed, tried to speak, failed, swallowed again and made a second attempt. ?Sandy, what?s happened to you?!?
Sandy looked down at herself, puzzled. ?What do you mean? I feel fine. What, am I glowing or something??
?No, you- you?re? taller!?
She looked at him quizzically. ?I don?t think so, honey. I seem about the same to me.?
?Are you crazy? You?re as tall as I am!?
?Yeah?? she still looked puzzled, but not as puzzled as a woman who has just grown six inches should. ?Peter, I?ve been as tall as you since I was eighteen, remember? When you had that growth spurt.?
?When I had a growth spurt??
?Surely you haven?t forgotten the way they used to tease us when we first started dating. You know, about me being so much taller? But don?t worry, big guy, you caught up, didn?t you??
?But you?re 5?6?!? He tried one last protest.
?Unless they?re changed the measurement system I?ve been six foot since high school, babe.? She shrugged. ?Did that machine give you a concussion or something??
?I don?t know, I? I need to go check something.? Leaving his suddenly tall wife standing dumbfounded, he raced across the hall to his office. There he had a computer hooked up to the supercollider, and quickly printed out the results from its first trial.
While he was waiting for the printer to finish, he pulled up some various legal documents that he kept on file. Driver?s license, passport, anything that he or Sandy might require a copy of was all there, and everything showed Sandy to be a solid six feet in height (except for one form that said 5?11? and another that said 6?1?, but those could be written off as measuring errors.)
The printer beeped and Peter hurriedly grabbed the paper, while in the bedroom, Sandy stretched her long legs out on the bed while she clutched the washcloth against her still watering eyes.

[LOD]

Great start Logan! The reality shifting sort of reminds me of Merritstone's Magic Wand series. I really look forward to what's going to happen next.

[Logan73]

Well spotted! Merritstone's Magic Wand is one of my very favorite stories ever, and a major inspiration. Also stories by Marknew (minus the violence and muscle growth) and the classic Five Percent by Nadie8

[merritstone]

Originally Posted by Logan73

Well spotted! Merritstone's Magic Wand is one of my very favorite stories ever, and a major inspiration. Also stories by Marknew (minus the violence and muscle growth) and the classic Five Percent by Nadie8

Really? Thanks, I'm touched. Glad to know people like my stuff. BTW. Sparking similar ideas is exactly what I hoped would happen when i started sharing my prose.

I love the start you've got. I enjoy that Sandy doesn't understand she's growing, exploring it only from Peter's perspective is a cool way to displaying the universal changes.

[Clevens]

its an ok start. but if its all as it should be to her, there is not any real realization of growing, and that makes it less interesting to me. not really growth in a way. certainly not slow growth.

but it's new, so thank for that much.

[BlazingBarrager]

Ooooh this sounds interesting.

[Wussy]

I like this one so far. The characters are enjoyable and and the setting is interesting. But please do me a favor and space out your paragraphs.

This is a big block of text:

Peter came out of the bathroom with a wet rag pressed tightly to his forehead. ?Ah, that feels better. Do want one of these, honey?? he asked, extending his left hand to offer her the other cloth he had prepared.
Sandy had been laying on the bed, fingers pressed to her temples, but upon seeing Peter rose quickly. ?Oh yes, that sounds wonderful, thank you!?
She reached for the cloth, but as she lifted her arm, something strange happened. Her arm seemed to stretch as she held it out. Her fingers closed around the rag an instant before Peter?s sense of distance told him they should. It was only a fraction of a second?s difference, but Peter, having an acute mind, couldn?t help but see it. Before he could ponder the incongruity and further, however, Sandy was standing right next to him and raising the damp cloth to her forehead. The action only took a second, but to Peter it seemed much longer, for her hand ascended the length of her body, the rest of her seemed to follow suit.
In one smooth motion, and right before Peter?s eyes, Sandy?s legs stretched longer, her torso elongated and her arms lengthened. He could even see her breasts press slightly against her blouse before the fabric seemed to grow to accommodate them. And by the time Sandy?s hand had reached her forehead, she was looking Peter straight in the eye.

This is much more readable:

Peter came out of the bathroom with a wet rag pressed tightly to his forehead. ?Ah, that feels better. Do want one of these, honey?? he asked, extending his left hand to offer her the other cloth he had prepared.

Sandy had been laying on the bed, fingers pressed to her temples, but upon seeing Peter rose quickly. ?Oh yes, that sounds wonderful, thank you!?

She reached for the cloth, but as she lifted her arm, something strange happened. Her arm seemed to stretch as she held it out. Her fingers closed around the rag an instant before Peter?s sense of distance told him they should. It was only a fraction of a second?s difference, but Peter, having an acute mind, couldn?t help but see it. Before he could ponder the incongruity and further, however, Sandy was standing right next to him and raising the damp cloth to her forehead. The action only took a second, but to Peter it seemed much longer, for her hand ascended the length of her body, the rest of her seemed to follow suit.

In one smooth motion, and right before Peter?s eyes, Sandy?s legs stretched longer, her torso elongated and her arms lengthened. He could even see her breasts press slightly against her blouse before the fabric seemed to grow to accommodate them. And by the time Sandy?s hand had reached her forehead, she was looking Peter straight in the eye.

Other than that I don't have any major complaints. Keep it up!

[gammera1976]

Cool opening.

[Logan73]

Thanks for the feedback, Wussy. I too am quite a fan of your writing. I've gotten that comment about the paragraphs before, but I confess it always confuses me. Books aren't written with lines between each paragraph, so why is it difficult to read on a screen? At any rate, I'll certainly take it into consideration.

Actually, a book typically will have either a line between paragraphs or the first line of each paragraph indented to indicate a new paragraph.

[Wussy]

Illun is correct. Books will use white space, indentation, or both to separate paragraphs from each other. Since we can't indent on the forums that doesn't leave us with much choice.

[bstgate]

Oh, nice beginning. I so prefer "becoming taller" to simply "growing". Now, if she were aware of it (and enthusiastic), it would be perfect.