Feedback on "Changing and Growing in Las Vegas"

[GreatDragon AD]

Hey guys:

So far, the first three parts of my new BESC original comic, "Chaning and Growing in Las Vegas", are up at the site. I feel like its my best work yet so I would like to hear feedback who read it. I don't mind hearing some thoughts on my past comic, "When Expanding Worlds Colliede", as well. Please and thank you.

[Kerberos]

I like it. The whole feel of competition and the method behind the changes isn't a very common one, so all in all I think it's a great one. Keep it up , I love to see and read your stories.

[ZantetsukenX]

When expanding world's collide was very interesting. It was well done, but I feel that the ending came too quickly. It was very sudden the whole introduction of a bad guy and resolution all in a matter of pages. But over all I definitely enjoyed all the chapters.

[Roy]

The next part's up? *zooms off*

5 minutes later...

Ah, is goooood. I liked Expanding Worlds, with this one I feel there's a lot of text to read, making it more story driven? Creates deeper characters? I also find it hard to read the scottish lass' accented text unless I zoom a little in.

I have to be honest and say the feeling of a 'wall of text' got to me in some parts and i've skipped some speech bubbles but think i have the jist of what's going on.

All in all still very good though. This last part cuts off at the perfect moment, can't wait for the next one!

[humble.fool]

Yeah, the special font for the Scottish girl's 'accent' is supremely annoying.

[G@]

Originally Posted by humble.fool

Yeah, the special font for the Scottish girl's 'accent' is supremely annoying.

Same here.
I like the story a lot but that font is HORRIBLE

A v2.0 with a new font would be great.

[Metatron]

Well so far so good. I like the way the story is progressing.
My only qualms are the font and text. I am normally use to the basic comic font or acme font, but this new font is a bit annoying. As well I would agree with Roy about the wordyness.

[Fake_Name]

Strippers again.... As a story aspect, they've been done absolutely to death, and then the corpse was dug up and fucked for a while.

I really like the setting for the expansion, and I think the whole "otaku" aspect could be really interesting if you ran with it (particularly with the clothes transformation bit). But then, right when things looked to be getting interesting, everything falls back into the tired old trope of a "strip-off".

Get away from the whole "running away from home and winding up as a striper" aspect of the plot, or really anything involving strippers at all, and it could be genuinely excellent.

[Blake Isaac Gordon]

Originally Posted by Fake_Name

Strippers again.... As a story aspect, they've been done absolutely to death, and then the corpse was dug up and fucked for a while.

So much for that story Idea...
Sigh... back to the lab.

[Dynamoob]

I'll admit I was a bit disappointed when reading it. When I first saw it, I thought that there would be a sort intangible aura to the Las Vegas environment that would lead to more natural occurring and intriguing changes. Instead I get the same old cliche, "Here, take this experimental drug and it will give you giant breasts." This whole story could've gone entirely without the whole 'running away to Vegas to be a stripper' aspect.

Also, I agree with what others have already said about the accented text. It's unnecessary and distracting to the reader. A lot of artists and writers make the foolish mistake of choosing elaborate fonts for the text. What happens is the text becomes difficult to read, the focus becomes more on what the words look like instead of what they're actually saying, and in a comic setting they distract from the images. You could just as easily get across the accent by using slang spellings common to the nationality.