Lorraine Jennings and the Curvy Corset

cyero · 03-17-2011

Wow, only four years on here and I'm FINALLY providing something to the community? Here's some long-overdue, extremely bad writing with a rushed ending.

Lorraine sighed, tossing her red-blonde ponytail back over her shoulder. She was so bored - watch duty was no fun without anyone to share it with! She looked around the dusty museum. Theodore would love this place, she knew - her "little" brother was in to history - but then, he'd probably been to every museum in the world.

There were perks to being immortal, she decided. She jumped off of the shelf she had been sitting on, her enormous chest jiggling due to the impact. Lorraine looked down at her E-cup breasts, which had gotten her an inordinate amount of sex over the years. They'd always made her "brother" Richard uncomfortable, the poor dear.

Lorraine looked over at the object she was guarding. The corset rested in a glass case set in to the wall. It was predominately red, but had what appeared to be gold dust running down it in lines an inch apart. It was highly expensive - and highly enchanted. The corset had been made by a sorceress way back in the Victorian era. She'd been trying to give herself an amazing figure that would make hourglasses hang up their hats and go home. By all accounts, it had worked.

Lorraine stared at the garment for a few seconds. It would look really good on her... She looked down. Her enormous chest kept her from seeing anything below it, including her already nice body. There'd be no point in putting it on, she thought.

That didn't mean she couldn't at least see how it looked with her skin tone!

Looking around to make sure no cameras were active (she had shut them all down earlier), the French girl deftly picked the lock on the glass case. Lifting the lid, she smiled down at the corset. She wondered what the material it was made out of was. Running her hands down the fabric, being sure not to touch the gold, she nodded. Silk - lovely! She smiled, enjoying the feel of the ancient clothing under her fingers. She barely noticed the warm feeling in her chest.

As she touched the corset, a warmth traveled up her hand, stopping somewhere in her chest. Lorraine was still distracted by how nice it felt when she felt her already-tight bra getting tighter. "Uh oh..." she said, looking down at her strained top. She had encountered enough enchantments to know what had gone wrong - the thing must have activated by touch instead of by being worn. Just her luck to be distracted!

Lorraine winced as, despite the speed of her hands flying to the neck of her shirt, she was unable to remove it from her body. Instead, her rapidly growing breasts snapped the clasp of her bra to pieces, shredding her shirt. What remained of the red fabric sat sadly across the tops of her still-expanding chest. She cringed, sitting as their new weight brought her down. They stopped suddenly, the size of rather large globes of the Earth.

"Just what I need..." she muttered, standing up. Damnit - it just had to be cold in this damn museum! Lorraine attempted to repair her top with the remnants of fabric, barely succeeding in covering her nipples before the cloth fell down. "Ugh..." she groaned, eyes falling across the corset, sitting innocently on the ground.

Oh well, may as well keep warm!

Loosing the ties on the back, the French girl manuevered around her breasts, putting the corset on. She sighed in relief - the top fit over her gargantuan breasts. As it settled on her flesh, however, the warm feeling came back. She swore violently as her breasts exploded even farther, falling to the ground and boobs flying from the tight corset. Lorraine stood slowly, tits wobbling violently. "Good-for-nothing hunk of silk..."

Deciding that explanations could be made up on the way home, Lorraine collected her assorted items, Swiss-ball sized breasts jiggling far too much to make the deed easy. Soon, she was done, and set off for home...

Nixemus · 03-17-2011

Really enjoyed this. Any chance you've planned a series of short stories like this, featuring Lorraine?

cyero · 03-18-2011

Eh. I'm going to be working on something else Process-y for a while... But I suppose I could bring her in.

Also, should I reqork the ending? Y/Y

Nixemus · 03-18-2011

I suppose the ending is a little open-ended, but it does allow you to return to the character later, should you want to.

Perhaps some prequel stories, showing how she got to her E-cup size?

cyero · 03-19-2011

She got to her E-cup size through good living and having good genes. :P

cyero · 03-20-2011

Guys, I'd really appreciate some critique on this.

Ryu_Knight · 03-20-2011

Quote:

Originally Posted by cyero

Guys, I'd really appreciate some critique on this.

okay

your story was put together fairly well, my problems I found was that you didn't totaly explain where your character came from and what she was doing there, or for that matter explain much about her at all, you said she was french, had large breast, and was immortal, you didn't explain why she was immortal and why she was watching that corset, you made the growth seem rushed but for a short story this short it was okay

next time work on describing your characters more, such as who they are, where they come from, and why there are there

also this might make me sound like a real ass but you don't ask for "critique" you're given critique, critique is for you to use for improvments but if you get none that means there is nothing to improve on, or people don't like it and don't want to critique

cyero · 03-20-2011

I was in fact going for an in media res thingy with that... And my main problem in absolutely EVERYTHING I do is I don't describe. Ever. It's a very bad problem for a writer, I know.

And I can too ask people what's wrong with my story! Otherwise, nobody'll ever offer.

Ryu_Knight · 03-20-2011

Quote:

Originally Posted by cyero

I was in fact going for an in media res thingy with that... And my main problem in absolutely EVERYTHING I do is I don't describe. Ever. It's a very bad problem for a writer, I know.

And I can too ask people what's wrong with my story! Otherwise, nobody'll ever offer.

yea having probems with discribing things can be a problem, I have that too when I write excepte I discribe too much and it ends up a massive pile of words, in media res thingy? never heard that term I'm not much of a writer so thats greek to me
[yea I know I'm out of alot of loops]

you can request critiques but you made it sound like you were demanding it, I would be careful in how you word something here as some people [like what I did] tend to use that to fly off the handle and rant at you

cyero · 03-20-2011

It's Latin, close! In medias res: In the middle of things.

And I thought I said please...

Ryu_Knight · 03-20-2011

Quote:

Originally Posted by cyero

It's Latin, close! In medias res: In the middle of things.

And I thought I said please...

ah right now I recall that term, never did like it, it kind of left things empty

well looking at that only a few comments were posted and none in the form of any critique, it sounded like you were getting desperate for critiques and it kind of sounded demanding

cyero · 03-20-2011

Well, I do want to get better! And how can I do that if I don't know what I'm doing wrong?

03-17-2011	#1
cyero Sir Psycho Sexy Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 2,955	Lorraine Jennings and the Curvy Corset Wow, only four years on here and I'm FINALLY providing something to the community? Here's some long-overdue, extremely bad writing with a rushed ending. Lorraine sighed, tossing her red-blonde ponytail back over her shoulder. She was so bored - watch duty was no fun without anyone to share it with! She looked around the dusty museum. Theodore would love this place, she knew - her "little" brother was in to history - but then, he'd probably been to every museum in the world. There were perks to being immortal, she decided. She jumped off of the shelf she had been sitting on, her enormous chest jiggling due to the impact. Lorraine looked down at her E-cup breasts, which had gotten her an inordinate amount of sex over the years. They'd always made her "brother" Richard uncomfortable, the poor dear. Lorraine looked over at the object she was guarding. The corset rested in a glass case set in to the wall. It was predominately red, but had what appeared to be gold dust running down it in lines an inch apart. It was highly expensive - and highly enchanted. The corset had been made by a sorceress way back in the Victorian era. She'd been trying to give herself an amazing figure that would make hourglasses hang up their hats and go home. By all accounts, it had worked. Lorraine stared at the garment for a few seconds. It would look really good on her... She looked down. Her enormous chest kept her from seeing anything below it, including her already nice body. There'd be no point in putting it on, she thought. That didn't mean she couldn't at least see how it looked with her skin tone! Looking around to make sure no cameras were active (she had shut them all down earlier), the French girl deftly picked the lock on the glass case. Lifting the lid, she smiled down at the corset. She wondered what the material it was made out of was. Running her hands down the fabric, being sure not to touch the gold, she nodded. Silk - lovely! She smiled, enjoying the feel of the ancient clothing under her fingers. She barely noticed the warm feeling in her chest. As she touched the corset, a warmth traveled up her hand, stopping somewhere in her chest. Lorraine was still distracted by how nice it felt when she felt her already-tight bra getting tighter. "Uh oh..." she said, looking down at her strained top. She had encountered enough enchantments to know what had gone wrong - the thing must have activated by touch instead of by being worn. Just her luck to be distracted! Lorraine winced as, despite the speed of her hands flying to the neck of her shirt, she was unable to remove it from her body. Instead, her rapidly growing breasts snapped the clasp of her bra to pieces, shredding her shirt. What remained of the red fabric sat sadly across the tops of her still-expanding chest. She cringed, sitting as their new weight brought her down. They stopped suddenly, the size of rather large globes of the Earth. "Just what I need..." she muttered, standing up. Damnit - it just had to be cold in this damn museum! Lorraine attempted to repair her top with the remnants of fabric, barely succeeding in covering her nipples before the cloth fell down. "Ugh..." she groaned, eyes falling across the corset, sitting innocently on the ground. Oh well, may as well keep warm! Loosing the ties on the back, the French girl manuevered around her breasts, putting the corset on. She sighed in relief - the top fit over her gargantuan breasts. As it settled on her flesh, however, the warm feeling came back. She swore violently as her breasts exploded even farther, falling to the ground and boobs flying from the tight corset. Lorraine stood slowly, tits wobbling violently. "Good-for-nothing hunk of silk..." Deciding that explanations could be made up on the way home, Lorraine collected her assorted items, Swiss-ball sized breasts jiggling far too much to make the deed easy. Soon, she was done, and set off for home...

03-17-2011	#2
Nixemus Self Proclaimed Time-Lord Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 164	Re: Lorraine Jennings and the Curvy Corset Really enjoyed this. Any chance you've planned a series of short stories like this, featuring Lorraine? __________________ No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

03-18-2011	#3
cyero Sir Psycho Sexy Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 2,955	Re: Lorraine Jennings and the Curvy Corset Eh. I'm going to be working on something else Process-y for a while... But I suppose I could bring her in. Also, should I reqork the ending? Y/Y

03-18-2011	#4
Nixemus Self Proclaimed Time-Lord Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 164	Re: Lorraine Jennings and the Curvy Corset I suppose the ending is a little open-ended, but it does allow you to return to the character later, should you want to. Perhaps some prequel stories, showing how she got to her E-cup size? __________________ No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

03-19-2011	#5
cyero Sir Psycho Sexy Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 2,955	Re: Lorraine Jennings and the Curvy Corset She got to her E-cup size through good living and having good genes. :P

03-20-2011	#6
cyero Sir Psycho Sexy Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 2,955	Re: Lorraine Jennings and the Curvy Corset Guys, I'd really appreciate some critique on this.