My whinge

[Rachel Bronwyn]

Everything has sucked the last couple weeks. This past summer sucked and the final bit has been particularly sucky. I hate everything.

I haven't had a minute to myself, which is hard because I hate people. I particularly dislike loud, dumb people who talk a lot about nothing and with whom I can't connect and I'm surrounded by them exclusively. I'm utterly lonely. My finances are concerning me and goodness knows gas prices will hike tomorrow. I'm working too much, spending even more time on school and picked up a tutoring gig I can't sustain but could really use on my resume. Then there's the problem of my face, which I don't want students near because of the unfuckingrelenting acne, which I've changed treatments for and am hoping for positive results but will likely need to go on hormonal contraception to manage, which pisses me off because the whole reason I got an IUD was so I'd never have to use it again. I'm not eating well. I've put on weight. I have no time to relax and stretch so my back is giving me hell. Oh! And I got my new driver's license and services card and look like a fat rapist on it. I have to move over the next week and have no idea where I'm going to find the time to pack or the truck required to get my furniture from here to there. I landed in the hospital yesterday exclusively as a result of my own lack of focus, I locked my keys in my car at school today after damn near causing an accident (literally sat down cross-legged on the pavement in the parking lot and criiiiiieeeed) and I need to be in the lab in roughly seven hours.

Thank you. I need to breathe. I imagine things will be looking up in three or four weeks.

Please feel free to unload your own frustrations here.

[Rachel Bronwyn]

So far, no good. I feel like I can't get a break. The following has happened over the last couple weeks:

• My car went to shit and cost me $450
• My former landlord tried to withhold 1/7 of my damage deposit due to an insufficiently clean bathroom AFTER her husband inspected the apartment and signed off on my verification of vacancy and returned keys (and I've had to involve the Residential Tenancy Branch because, goddamnit, whether I need it or not, that's my money)
• My father, whose vacant townhouse I agreed to live in for the next three months, hence vacating the apartment, informed me nothing I accomplish while fat is worth anything and he actually doesn't want me living in his place because he doesn't want people to know he has a fat kid
• I slept in and missed an hour of work and pissed off my colleagues
• My grandmother died
• My Thanksgiving long weekend plans to hike and hit the hot springs were squashed as I have to be in Vancouver for Grandma's party (we don't do funerals, just celebrations)
• Continued car trouble caused me to miss two tests
• I'm averaging five hours sleep a night (I'm a BIG sleeper, so this is brutal for me)
• I've lost interest in food

I think I'm going to take a break and try to find my head. This isn't me.